This is so offensive to non-Mormons on many levels - Mormon Temple Marriage and the outside ring ceremony
by Joe Laban June 2012
Ok, I was searching the Internet and came across this commercial LDS wedding site about ring ceremonies. Here are the low-lights. I capitalized the offensive words or phrases. A take-off of a Mormon funeral. Please let me now your thoughts...
http://asimpleldswedding.com/Ringceremonies.html
A "Ring Ceremony" is a great way to APPEASE family and friends who are non-members but wish to be included in your wedding ceremony.
It looks very similar to what people expect to see at a civil wedding. The difference is that there are NO VOWS exchanged.
It is also a GREAT MISSIONARY MOMENT to teach the beautiful doctrine of a forever family. ADVISE HIM TO SPEAK WITH THE BISHOP TO APPROVE THE THOUGHTS HE HAS PREPARED and/or get ideas and directions for his comments.
What Takes Place? You should open and close with a prayer. It is appropriate to have someone sing a hymn, do a musical solo, or HAVE YOUR PRIMARY AGE RELATIVES SING, "FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER"
THE OFFICIANT USUALLY STATES BRIEFLY WHAT TRANSPIRED IN THE TEMPLE AND THAT IT WAS A "SACRED" NOT "SECRET" CEREMONY RESTRICTED TO A SMALL GATHERING OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO ARE MEMBERS OF OUR CHURCH WHO RECEIVED PERMISSION TO ATTEND THROUGH AN INTERVIEW WITH THE BISHOP OF OUR CHURCH TO INSURE THAT THEY ARE LIVING UP TO THE COVENANTS THEY HAVE MADE WITH THE LORD WHEN THEY JOINED THE CHURCH. TEMPLE CEREMONIES WERE NOT INTENDED TO BE FOR LARGE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE TO ATTEND. THE LARGEST SEALING ROOMS, EVEN IN THE LARGEST TEMPLES, DON'T HOLD MORE THAN 50 PEOPLE.
IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE TO HIGHLIGHT SOME OF THE VIEWS WE SHARE ABOUT THE FAMILY FROM "THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD."
THE OFFICIANT CAN THEN TALK ABOUT HOW A RING, ONCE PLACED ON THE COUPLE'S FINGER, SYMBOLIZES THE NEVER ENDING COVENANT THE COUPLE MADE WITH THE LORD IN THE TEMPLE...FOREVER.
YOU MAY KISS and be presented to family and friends by your new (last) name.
RING CEREMONY PROTOCOL CHANGES FROM TIME TO TIME, SO IT IS BEST TO CHECK WITH YOUR BISHOP TO BE SURE THAT YOUR PLANS ARE WITHIN THE CHURCH GUIDELINES. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE RING CEREMONY IS NOT MEANT TO EMBELLISH YOUR TEMPLE SEALING. THE MORE YOU MAKE IT LIKE A CIVIL CEREMONY, THE LESS EMPHASIS YOU ARE PLACING ON YOUR TEMPLE CEREMONY.
Joe Laban
Re: I do not believe this helps non-members
ap·pease/əˈpēz/Verb: 1.Pacify or placate (someone) by acceding to their demands. 2.Relieve or satisfy (a demand or a feeling): "we give to charity because it appeases our guilt".
It is like they think the church invented the wedding ring.
Get the bishops approval???
OMG!
scooter
OMFG. that is SOOO offensive.
and says about all anyone need every know about marments.
good find!
pay no attention to ferret!! it sacred, not secret.
spaghetti oh
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
And no open bar to take the sting out of it!
I'd have to really, really, really like the people getting hitched to actually show up.
baura
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Lamarr and Lorainne request your presence at a special,
propaganda ceremony to show how our religious organization is
really not a cult.
It is not our actual wedding ceremony because that only happens
in secret . . . er . . . I mean in sacred where only people that
have been approved by the local leader can attend. But we will
be having a carefully scripted event that YOU are invited to
attend.
Please don't feel bad that you were not invited to our actual
wedding; that is only for truly worthy people--after all my
own mother was not allowed to attend.
Missionaries will be present to answer any questions that you
may have and to make appointments.
Families are forever (if you are worthy enough--unlike my Mom)
summer
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Joe Laban Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> KEEP IN MIND THAT THE RING CEREMONY IS NOT MEANT TO EMBELLISH YOUR TEMPLE SEALING. THE MORE YOU MAKE IT LIKE A CIVIL CEREMONY, THE LESS EMPHASIS YOU ARE PLACING ON YOUR TEMPLE CEREMONY.
As a nevermo, I find this point of view to be very puzzling. The church is acting like an enraged troll, jumping up and down and yelling, "But you are already married, dag gum it!"
Who cares if you are married twice on the same day? I don't know of any other denomination where this would be a problem. It certainly isn't a problem with the Mormon church in England, France, and wherever else you need to be publicly or civily married prior to a private religious ceremony.
I remember reading about a Mormon couple who had a destination wedding in Hawaii. They were married in one of the Hawaiian temples and then had a beach wedding after that. I guess they ignored the church directives telling them they couldn't do that.
Another puzzler for this nevermo is the Mormon use of the term, "civil wedding" for any non-temple wedding. I interpret a civil wedding as being any non-religious wedding (i.e. one performed by a justice of the peace.) A religious wedding would be one performed by a minister or priest, even if it is outdoors or at home, and a "church wedding" would be performed by a minister or priest inside of a church building.
I also find it sad that Mormons often think that it shouldn't be such a big deal for nevermo, exmo, or "unworthy" parents to be excluded from their childrens' weddings. If it's not such a big deal then maybe they should stay away from their own childrens' weddings in solidarity. Oh, but they would never do that, now would they?
blueorchid
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Good one!
Best combination of comedy and tragedy and the utterly ridiculous that I've read in a while. Don't know whether to laugh or cry or throw up.
Surrender Dorothy
That's right. Familes can be together forever...
...except on your wedding day!
BTW, most of you men won't make it to the Cee-LUST-yull Kingdom anyway because we need your women to keep Joe and Brig stocked up on multiple wives.
Brethren, prepare yourselves to be sent on eternal "missions" to outer darkness to teach those heathens who post on RfM. No sacrifice is too great for TheLard, right? ...and don't worry. We'll take *real* good care of your wives while you're gone.
inmoland
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Not only is the speech offensive to non-members, it appears they're using it to propgandize Mormons, by reducing the ceremonies of all other religions to the rank of "civil" ceremonies, rather than "sacred", like their own.
Either that, or they're hoping gullible young Mormons who've never been to weddings in other churches will believe other churches don't have anything so inspiring as ring ceremonies. If they make them think that's just a "civil" thing, maybe they won't feel so let down by what they get in the temple and go looking for something better.
caedmon
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
The ring EXCHANGE (it is NOT a ceremony), was made up by the Mormons to make THEMSELVES feel better about their own exclusionary, arrogant behavior.
My DD had a ring exchange and it did NOTHING to appease our family. Her new MIL said to my sister that she thought it was a nice compromise. Compromise? A compromise is an agreement that is reached by each side making concessions. I gave up being present at the moment the daughter I love and raised for 20 years became a married woman (and really I didn't give up as I wasn't really given a choice). Exactly what did this woman give up?
The bishop presided and I gave strict orders that he was not to launch into the missionary moment crap or we would all walk out.
karin
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
My father wanted me to have one of those before the reception to explain to our relatives why they couldn't be at the temple. The last thing i needed or wanted to do before the reception day (like on the way back to Ontario from washington) was to write a talk and then have to give it! I wasn't an eager public speaker so why would i stress myself out some more that way? And it wasnt to be a ring exchange, just a church-type meeting.
I decided that my wedding wasn't a missionary opportunity and declined my dad's idea.
forestpal
So, the Mormons wanna hijack the ring ceremonies, too.
Bite me.
Why can't decent, loving children have a romantic wedding ceremony that includes the whole family? Let them wait a year for the goofy temple stuff. What's a year, when they are already married?
This is cult action at its worst. The cult knows that couples will probably not go to the temple at all, once they are married. So, the Mormon society spreads gossip that the couple are sleeping together, and are "unworthy." They accuse the couple of having weakened testimonies, yea, even being lured away by Satan Himself. The couple are shunned. He can't be EQ President; she isn't trusted to teach a SS class. They are constantly questioned and harassed, until they finally cave in and go to the temple a year later--but it is too late. They are branded as being "weak."
All this for their tithing money! What a mean cult!
.
cludgie
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
The problem, as I see it, is the members allowing themselves to be sucked into this bullshit. A married couple, after attending a temple marriage, should be able to have any kind of so-called "ring ceremony" they want to, even exchanging vows if they wanted. They could easily be in charge, but choose not to be.
And then there is what forestpal says above, too. It turns out that Mormonism is really creepy. I mean, who knew, right?
ozpoof
Mormons deserve this crap.
gemini
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Yeah, make sure the ring exchange doesn't embellish the temple ceremony, because that one is just so spectacular, ya know. LOL
caedmon
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
The writer says she wants to hear from us about this article:
I'm composing something now.
honestone
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
Sending this to my friend whose daughter just married in the Temple two wks ago.
fidget
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
I think a combination of all three...
CA girl
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
See, this is why people don't respect Mormons - because Mormons don't respect non-Mormons. Mormon ceremonies are more sacred than non-Mormon ones, Mormons are more worthy to be at their kids weddings than non-Mormons, Mormons understand - non-Mormons are heathens that need to be appeased. And the whole tone is so patronizing. But the worst part is, after being excluded and treated with condescension, they think people will really want to know more about Mormonism. Seriously!!! Why would anyone want to be part of a group that treats other people that disrespectfully. And the LDS crowd really have NO idea how that comes across.
Brides-to-be, take my advice. Marry outside the temple in front of your family. Because your family will always be your family but there is only a 35 percent chance Mormonism will always be your religion.
Kojac
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
My mom went to a wedding in Utah for her ex-Mormon husbands niece. He didn't tell her that they had to wait in the lobby of the temple while the two got sealed. She was furious and said that a better use of her time would be to go see a Jazz game. I love my mom.
oddcouplet
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
To me, the most offensive part is the very strong implication that unless you become Mormon, God will prevent your family from being together in the afterlife. This is using religion as a protection racket.
dk
how long is the actual marriage ceremony?
Did someone say it's like 3 to 5 minutes. Ding! You're done.
Aren't younger siblings barred from a temple wedding as well? What's there sin? Prophets aren't marrying them young anymore?
Not logged in
This is just revolting and insulting to honest people everywhere. I'm so glad I left TSCC before I got married.
However, there is one part of this "charming" thing that cracked me up:
"YOU MAY KISS and be presented to family and friends by your new (last) name."
Good thing they made sure you knew you were to be introduced by your new LAST name. How funny would it be to shout out your "new name" from the temple to all the unworthy heathens in your life? OOOPS! LOL
missmarymac
Re: This is so offensive to non-members on many levels
This is offensive and demoralizing to nonMormons. My daughter getting married this Tuesday in the temple and with a SCRC (so called ring ceremony...new acronym) on Friday night. Her father is in his own bubble thinking he is going to "walk her down the aisle." I'll keep you all posted on Tuesday and Friday on what happens as the saga unfolds. I am still holding out hope she'll change her mind.
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"