Pressured to go on mission

subieguy180 Feb. 2014

I'm a senior in high school and I'm 18 years old and lately people have been asking me am I going on my mission after high school. They keep saying "It may be an option not to go, but you must go because it's a commandment from god" WTF? When they ask If i'm going to go on my mission my first response is:

"I don't know"
"I'm reading the Book Of Mormon"(I'm actually not and I've never truly read it but I'm studying it in seminary)
"I'm probably going to go to college for a year and then go on my mission"

They always say to study and read the Book of Mormon and pray to find out if it's true. I can't because I already knew it wasn't true in my whole life. The teachings of the church are a bit odd especially the tithing part of the church. I'm trying to save money for a car and people in the church keep saying to save it for your mission and tithing(thankfully I never paid a tithing to the church since i've got a job) and I no longer believe. I'm a car enthusiast I want my own car.

I recently studied the history of the church and I believed in it and I knew the church was fraud but I already knew it was fraud before I actually looked at the history of the church.

Plus I live in Tennessee and everyone in my senior class is going to college and I want to do the same thing I'd rather spend my next two years helping my future self and getting into college and getting a degree in Mechanical Engineering.

Now what should I do if I get shunned from family and friends because If I tell them I no longer believe in the church?

Re: Pressured to go on mission
If you do go on a mission (and you probably shouldn't), don't go unless you get a year of college first.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
I'm probably not going to go because If I don't believe in it now then I can't teach it to others it's already false and I don't want to teach people about the church because they might find out the church is all fraud

Re: Pressured to go on mission

Going to college is the best idea. Once you are away from home, the folks in the ward won't be seeing you at church all the time and the mission talk might subside a little. Of course, your parents will hear it but you could just keep going to school and putting off the mission plans. My grandson is 20 and he keeps saying he might go but at this point his parents have about given up on the idea. I am so glad!

Southern ExMo
Re: Pressured to go on mission

You didn't mention what part of Tennessee you live in, but regardless -- living in Tennessee is what can save you from the mission vs. losing everything situation that young people over in the Morridor face.

Morgbots are a minority in Tennessee. Develop your friendships outside TSCC, and use the resources that non-Morgbot kids use to get in college, get funding, etc. In Tennessee, high school counselors and most of your teachers will NOT encourage you to waste two years of your life (plus your hard earned money) peddling crap to strangers.

It will be hard if your family and church "friends" give you a hard time -- but at least you can leave their presence and enjoy a world outside of TSCC [this so called church].

I wish you well.

BTW, what school(s) are you thinking about going to?

Re: Pressured to go on mission
Keep telling people that you want to go to college just as all of your classmates are doing -- that you want to get a year or two of college under your belt "first," then perhaps you'll reconsider. Then when you have the first year or two completed, tell them that you want to graduate.

BTW, you can tell them that President Monson did not go on a mission. Instead he spent a few months in the military as WWII was winding down. [He was only 18 when he got out of the military] There are also apostles and 70s who did not go (look at their Wiki autobiographies. No mention of a mission likely = no mission.) So tell people that indeed you are "following the prophet." ;)

There is no need to go into your personal beliefs with family, church members, and friends at this time. Try to keep flying under the radar. Wait until you are living on your own and fully self-supporting before you do that.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
You might also want to pick a college that is in an area with no local LDS. It shouldn't be that hard to do in the south, unless you are going to a school in a larger town or city. That would mean the pressure to go on a mission would disappear during the school year anyway, if not summers at home.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
I would bet that most of the BIC males on this forum experienced a lot of the pressure that you are getting, especially the ones that didn't want to go.

Personally, I was bribed with the offer of a new car when I returned. It was oh so tempting...but I just couldn't do it. I'm not and have never been a door-to-door type guy. Tracting would have been hell, and trying to sell something I didn't believe in anyway... thanks, but no thanks.

Put people off, go to school (not a Mormon school!), get some life experience. Eventually, you'll have to get to the point where you just tell people, "No".

That is the hardest part, but you will never regret it.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
I live in Clarksville, I'm actually planning to go to Volunteer State community college in Nashville and get a associates degree in mechanical engineering and then transfer to MTSU or University of Memphis and get my bachelors degree in mechanical engineering. I have many non mormon friends and they even tell me not to go I'm probably going to live with a non mormon friend while attending college.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
kudos to you for having a conscience! It's way easier to go along with the crowd. I'm glad you're choosing not to.

Cali Sally
Re: Pressured to go on mission
I applaud your thinking on this. Knowing it isn't true yet teaching it to others is very unethical. I'm glad I was a poor missionary and didn't convert anyone because I believed it at the time and regret anyone I may have led to the "untruth" of Mormonism.

I find it amusing that church members tell people like you to read the BofM to "find out if it's true" yet if you do what they tell you to do and conclude that it isn't true they treat you worse than if you didn't read it and didn't know. Geesh. If that alone isn't enough to signal youth that their elders have fallen for a delusion I don't know what is.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
It doesn't get much better even if you do go on a mission. When you get back they start asking when you are getting married, when you are going to grow up and get a real job, when you are going to start having kids, when you are going to have more kids, etc.

Stray Mutt
Re: Pressured to go on mission
Hmmm, which would cause fewer problems with family:

1. Saying you don't believe so you aren't going

2. Concocting some story about how you're not worthy to go because: (a) you've having a lot of sex and you're not sorry about it; (b) you're actually gay and not sorry about it

Re: Pressured to go on mission
Be strong! Put your college goals first. If you can move away to go to college do it, because "out of sight, out of mind" will help keep some pressure off.

You can say that you don't feel ready yet for a mission (not a lie) and you are hoping that a few years in college will help prepare you.

Now is not the time to tell them you don't believe. Just get your HS diploma and ride off into the sunset.

Re: Pressured to go on mission

If you don't want to go,, don't go,, and be upfront about it. You got a good view of where you want go and what to do with your life,, follow through. Met many people that went on a mission because of family and ward pressure. Always a disaster. My father had a saying 'shuck it to the cob" Speak your mind and live your life the way you want to. You will find out who are your real friends are. Good luck.

The 1st FreeAtLast
You're the captain of the ship of your life. Act w/ integrity to your truth
In Gen. Conference in April 2003, Mormon Church Prez. Gordon Hinckley told Latter-day Saints: "Each of us has to face the matter — either the Church is true, or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and kingdom of God, or it is nothing." (Ref. )

You've concluded - correctly - that Mo-ism IS a fraud. For starters, JS created bogus versions of his First Vision BS tale (see for details). Moreover, the so-called "keystone" of the LDS religion, the BoM, is, demonstrably, a work of fiction. End of story for the Latter-day Saint scam, really.

If you want to review LOTS of facts that expose Mo-ism as a fraud, search for posts done by me with links to several websites.

Re. 'brainwashed' Mormon family members and friends, you cannot control what they think about you, so don't worry about it - really. You cannot force them to wake up and take off their LDS mental blinders. Likewise, you can't compel them to psychologically mature. They have to want to learn the truth, even if it's harsh in terms of busting their LDS belief 'bubble', and grow up.

What you can control is what you choose to do with your life. You have the right to always think for yourself and make decisions that are best for you, including going to college instead of wasting two years of your finite existence marketing the Latter-day Saint fraud. You'll need to be firm in support of your worthwhile goals and act with courage. Many young men have done so and been VERY happy that they did.

Best wishes!

Re: Pressured to go on mission
If it happens, you will not be the first person to be shunned or rejected and you won't be the last. You *will* get through it.

The key is always financial independence. That is the foundation for most of what's right in life and allows you freedom to be what you want. You got a job while still a teen, you learned to save, and you have great critical thinking skills. Just keep it up. You are one the right track.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
Sounds like an excellent plan!

I used college as an excuse to avoid mission. Worked like a charm.

Re: You're the captain of the ship of your life. Act w/ integrity to your truth
Yeah I see what you mean. The other day I was thinking if I leave the church(i'm going to anyways). I can't do much about my family and friends in the church continuing to believe in the church. I sure hope they find out the actual truth of the church and it's history though.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
Even to those that are True-Blue Mormons, my advice will always be the same:

This is 2 years of YOUR life. This isn't something silly that you can do and quickly ignore. This is 2 YEARS.

If you're having any reasonable doubts, don't let anyone pressure you into going. There is nothing wrong about that, despite what people will try to insinuate. This is NOT something the Mormon church doctrine even teaches is NECESSARY!

Also, if you think that the pressure to go on a mission is bad, just imagine that magnified to be through your life consistently for 2 years! The social pressure gets WORSE during the mission.

And, I don't really understand why, but missionaries that come back early are seen as damaged goods and even worse than people that didn't go on one in the first place. Seriously. I'm not sure why.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
1) Don't go on a mission
2) SAVE MONEY NOW - Learn about how much it costs to REALLY go to college and learn about how much money you save by putting your money in a 401k and/or IRA (iow you'll be rich if you start at your age) instead of sinking it into a fancy car. Go ahead and buy a car but get a small, used, economic car.
3) Go to college or tech school
4) Study up on the following resources about Mormonism

As for how to deal with the Mormons when you tell them your non-belief and decision not to go on a mission:

1) Make a social circle OUTSIDE of Mormonism and ditch the Mormons who can't accept your beliefs and decisions.
2) Tell them you don't feel it is right to go if you don't believe in it.
3) Tell them you have prayed and lived the gospel and have NOT received an answer that the church is true and so if the church really was true, God should have let you know by now so its seems pointless and wasteful to spend anymore time in it.
4) Tell them the church is obviously not what it claims and if they push why then give them this

For your parents:

1) Show them that you are a good person regardless of being MOrmon
2) Don't act rebellious explain to them you would be in the church if you knew it was true but you JUST CANT BELIEVE IN IT no matter how hard you try. Tell them you have prayed and read the BOM and can't get a testimony.
3) Explain that you are still a good person and that if there is a god up there he knows your heart and intentions.

Re: Pressured to go on mission
On the topic of how to deal with others reactions, here is a video I often link for young people.

Let me know what you think.

The makers of this video (Qualiasoup and TheraminTrees) have lots of other videos I suggest would be very useful as well.

Best of luck to you. I wish I found the truth before I wasted time on a mission.


Re: Pressured to go on mission
This is your life and not the life of anyone else. They made their choices at your age and now you must. YOU sound like a very sensible and thoughtful person. I hope you do get that degree. I hope you do go to college right away and stay there.

No one who is of your belief should be a fake and go on a mission. This is easier than you think. If your family shuns you then they love the church more than you and for the rest of your life you will know that. Make your own family once you are ready and secure financially. And for now have fun with friends for the time being. NO family who shuns a blood relative is actually family at all. Good luck to you.

"Recovery from Mormonism -"