My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?

by notamomo Nov 2011

So there is a knock on my door Saturday morning. Luckily for me, there is a decorative window in my front door, so I can see I have me a couple of missionaries on my porch before I open it. Now, keep in mind I was kind of busy at the time, but I seriously just didn't want to get dragged into any kind of conversation with them.

So I opened the door with a smile on my face and said, "Hello. I'm not interested. Have a nice day!" and shut the door in their face. I don't *think* I slammed it exactly, but one of them was trying to get a word in at the time. He failed. Oh well. I thought I was polite for the most part because I smiled and told them to have a nice day.

What do you think?

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 10:13AM by notamomo.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
No. It was rude of them to show up uninvited to your home, which I presume is on private property.

i think you are fine!!
GREEEEEAT(TONY THE TIGER) did not invite them and you are under no obligation of any sorts to them... could you have been nicer...perhaps.... but if you had that would have been taken as a sign to continue with their schpeil... nope ya done good... :)hey at least they left right?? and ya didnt have to turn the water hose on them either!! :)

If you're going to bother cracking the door and saying anything at all...
...why not say "What is wanted?" and have a little fun with them?

Tabula Rasa
Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Ya, that was rude. But do you care?


Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
No. Good point, Ron. ;)

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
I was one of those 19-year-old missionaries many many years ago. I'm out of the church and I think its false, but those missionaries are mostly great young men. I wouldn't invite them in, but I would never be rude to them, strictly on a common decency level. I don't blame them, they are young, impressionable and just doing what they think is right.

You were fine.
They are door-to-door salesmen. You are not obliged to listen to them at all. You are also under no obligation to open the door. You can call, "sorry, not interested" through the door and then walk away. Or just ignore them altogether.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Your house, your door, you can do whatever you want - slam or not. If you don't want someone at your house, it's not rude. It was rude of them to be there in the first place.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
This reminds me of an awesome tracting experience.

I was about halfway in, still motivated, already disillusioned, didn't buy into the bulls**t propaganda about numbers numbers numbers...

We knocked on this door and we could hear a football game. The guy opened it and asked what we wanted. My comp said we wanted to share a message about (fill in the blank here). The guy said "sure, come on in."

We were like, "yesssssssssssss."

He sat down in front of his big screen and waved for us to sit down and he started watching the game. My companion asked him if it would be alright to stop the game or would he like us to come back later.

The guy told us to hold on just a minute. He just wanted to see the next series of downs.

Long story short, we ended up watching the whole game with him. Occasionally we would look over at commercial to see if he was ready, but we didn't say anything. I think deep down we knew he was doing us a solid.

After the game was over he said he was catholic and wasn't interested but that we were welcome to come watch TV anytime.

We weren't upset at all.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
You were not rude. In this day and age, going door to door, is rude, and dangerous. They need to go the way of the Fuller Brush man and Encyclopedia Brittanica salesman.

These guys could be thieves dressed as missionaries--you don't know. People here sometimes dress up as city workers or police sometimes and rob people. I don't answer my door for anyone if I'm not expecting them.

Last time they were at my door, my partner gave them such a dressing down that I'm sure they would have preferred a hosing down from CHeryl or maybe just some pepper spray.

I just say no thank you and bye in a nice tone and don't allow anything further.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
It was abrupt, for sure. "Rude"? You could have been nicer; you could have given them 60 seconds and explained your being in a hurry. If they said when would be a good time to come back, just tell them you've investigated the church before and found it wasn't for you. Then say, "Good day gentlemen."

I think it's good that these young men get some rough elbows when they are out there messing about in people's lives and beliefs. Yes, the young men are basically innocent, but that's no excuse and it's not a shield to protect them from the consequences of what they are up to, telling people that their own ways of being are corrupt or lacking and that only the One True Church can save them.

And another thing...
At the end of the day, they are cult "Units" entrapping people.

Innocent themselves? Duped ourselves? Yes, we were as missionaries.

But if you had slammed the door on cancer, would you be worried about whether you had been rude?

You did exactly what Ms Manners suggested in her column.
She said it's those at the door who are intruding and they shouldn't expect busy people in their homes to drop everything for unexpected strangers. She equated JWs and such with telephone solicitors.

bona dea
Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Waking me up on a a Saturday morning is rude. Lots of people have one day a week to sleep in and they don't want uninvited people knocking on their doors.

You call it rude to smile, say no, & shut the door. Then you're living in a haze of mishie brainwashing.
Good luck with that.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
I enjoyed those types of encounters immensely.

Dave the Atheist
You should open the door just a crack and hand them some Jay Dub literature.
And then watch them run.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Waking me up on Saturday is incredibly diffucult. If I do answer the door, I am half naked and still intoxicated. Those poor Jehovah Witness people.

Rude or not, it's a typical response.
That's how most people treat Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses at the door, and they are used to it. Responding that way will make you less memorable than if you made any sort of thoughtful reply. What are your polite alternatives if you really don't want to speak to these people? You could wait until they are done talking to try to get a word in edgewise. Good luck with that. It's best just to say "No, thank you." and shut the door. They won't let you talk. You've said thank you, so you're good.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
This is pretty much how I respond to anyone who comes soliciting at our door, uninvited. Smile, say 'no thank you', and close the door. Same thing with unsolicited phone sales.

NOT rude. Downright courteous...
...considering that they were uninvited and therefore were intruding on *you.*

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 02:19PM by WiserWomanNow.

bona dea
Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
If you don't cut them off, you are stuck with them. You didn't swear at them, sic the dogs on them or turn the hose on them. You said you weren't interested and shut the door, thus avoiding a long and unwanted discussion.I don't see that as rude.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
No, I was much, much worse a few months ago. It was weeks after I'd gotten my final letter from SLC. My sister and I were in the garage prepping for a yard sale and my little neighbors girls came and told me the mishies were at the front door.

I marched around front, my dog was inside barking her head off and one of them started to introduce himself and his comp.

I said "yes I know and I quit that cult. Now leave, you're upsetting my dog."

"Oh, well, is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yes, you can cut some wood for me--I want to sacrifice one of you and I need some wood."

"I don't think I want to do that."

"Then you should leave. Pay Lay Ale!"

They looked just a little uncomfortable, but they left.

Yeah, I was downright shizzy. I can't make nice to them just yet and I don't know if I ever will. I guess what got me is I plainly have a "Daysleeper, do not disturb" sign in my front window. I wasn't sleeping but still.....


Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
I think that were they to show up at my back door (since my front door doesn't open), I'd probably invite them in, offer them some hot chocolate (especially if it's the night before Newton's Birthday) and see about letting them call home early. Heck, I might even do the unthinkable: I might FEED them.

Then I'd tell them I was an anti-Mormon after all the niceness was done.

Raptor Jesus
Your house, your policy.
I wouldn't worry so much about what other people would do with the missionaries.

I don't really care what anyone else does.

When they come over, if I'm not busy, I usually invite them in.

I try to with the JWs. But they take one look at me and then vamoooooooose!

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Rude is, when we tell them we are not interested then shut the door, the mishies continue to holler the message through the closed door. Has happened with JWs.

They haven't had a chance to holler through the door, but they have
tried to block the path and have hurried along the sidewalk continuing to talk after being told to back off.

No way can notamomo's "Hello. I'm not interested. Have a nice day!"
be heard as rude. notamomo was clear and assertive.

If those missionaries were listening they would not hear notamomo as rude for from the get go notamomo said "I'm not interested."

Now notamomo could have said,"Oh you f@*$@ng Mormons. I don't have time for the likes of you. Take your goofy message some where else." Now that would have been rude.

I don't care how polite these 19 year old "kids" are and even if THEY don't know it proslytizing one's religion is rude and disrespectful.

Just my MOO

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Our sons served missions in very different places and environments - as a parent I was always so relieved to hear about incidents in which people turned them down, but handled it politely and with civility. No matter what we think, they are free to tract - people may or may not agree, as is the case with JW's, but I never saw the point to being rude to young people who are doing what they have been taught to do and what they (at least sometimes) believe in wholeheartedly. It hurt me to hear about rude and rough treatment - our sons are amazing, intelligent, sensitive, generous young men who didn't warrant tough handling. If they were turned down they always politely moved on. So, I am kind to missionaries now - I know their parents will appreciate it, as we did. No one has to listen, of course, and if they return repeatedly and it turns into harassment all bets are off. But, by and large, I see no reason not to conduct the interaction quickly and civilly. Just my opinion as a mom, though...

Free to tract? No, you are wrong. No one has "free" tracting privileges if they're on private propery.
The mormon church doesn't allow JWs and others to tract on their private property. Neither are home owners, renters and apartment dwellers requied to allow it in their private space.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 06:08PM by Cheryl.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
Thanks for the feedback, guys! See, they already know who I am. I moved to Texas and they "found" me awhile back. To them I am what you would refer to as an "inactive" (or is it "less active" now?) because I haven't resigned yet. Honestly, it doesn't seem worth the time and aggravation and I don't want the bastards telling my father during his tithing settlement, even though he is totally okay with my inactivity. Why take away his hope?

I don't know if they were the same missionaries (they all look alike) but I've already told them I am not interested once. There was a car idling in the driveway so for all I know they were gonna sic the Bishop on me. Who knows.

Last year, when I lived in Georgia, the stupid EQ President found me by recognizing my name at work (I was on his list), and he about drove me crazy showing up at all hours of the day and night and inviting me to their cultish activities. Finally I told him, look I'm never, ever coming back to church. So then he asked me if I wanted the Bishop to come over and help me resign! I mean, wow, the dude was THAT concerned about his less than 100% home teaching numbers I guess.

I told him I knew exactly how to resign and didn't need anyone's help, and I would do it when and if I felt like it.

I've been nice to these bozos ever since I got married and left the church behind in 1986. They even found me when we were living in Germany! Being nice always lets their foot get in the door and it just adds to my anxiety and distress about the whole church thing which I'd rather leave behind me.

So I'm proud of myself for the most part. I didn't slam the door, I don't think, and I did smile pleasantly and tell them to have a nice day. If I had tried any other tactic, they would have sucked me least to a short, unpleasant exchange.

Cheryl, nice to know Ms. Manners is on my side!

Escapee, that was hilarious! "Now leave, you're upsetting my dog." ROLF!!! I need to remember that one! :D

Best response Kolob!
Them: Knock knock.
Me: What is wanted?
Them: We are emissaries of Joseph Sm.... we mean Jesus Christ. Would you like to learn more about him and his restored church here on earth?
Me: I will upon the five points of fellowship (and maybe a sixth point just for fun).
Them: Scurrying away whilst hurriedly dusting off their Mr. Mac shoes on my sidewalk.

Now THAT would be funny Kolob!

I like to keep it short and to the point ...
Next time try saying "Hell No!" instead of "Hello!"

That way, it will seem like you're in a real RUSH to get rid of 'em.


Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
No it wasn't....

It was blunt and up front...but rude no....

I have noticed that since moving to utah, missionaries and door to door solaesmen seem to take great offense and shut the door in their face.

post deleted by author 

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 05:29PM by saviorself.

Re: I like to keep it short and to the point ...
Ha ha, Timmy!! :D

You know, I've always wanted to get a naginata.
A naginata is a blade attached to a long pole. I learned about it in my martial arts training years ago. Traditionally a naginata was used by Japanese women of the samurai class to defend their homes while their husbands were away at war.

If the Mormons pester you too much, I'm thinking that if you greeted them at the door with a naginata pointed in their direction, that's the last pestering visit you'd get. ;-)

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
no, that is how i treat telemarkerters and fund raisers who call on the phone.

Re: Best response Kolob!
Any missionaries out there today will not have experienced the Five Points of Fellowship. Lots of Mormons will call you a liar if you tell them such a thing used to be in the Endowment ceremony--even ones who went through BEFORE April 1990.

This is what I would have done...
ME: " What is wanted?"

THEM: "Hi. We are brother xxx. And he is brother xxx. We are just asking people if they need anything?"

ME: "Well... I have health on my navel... Marrow in my bones... Strength in my pins and in my sinew... And, the blessings of the priesthood are on neither me or my posterity... So... I am good. Bye."

*Door closing*

Good to be HH


Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
It was rude to the REST of the world.

Do you realize what you did? You made sure that they spent a MINIMUM time at your place which meant that they had MORE time to go out and suck some poor soul into the cult.

What you should have done is engage them in a long-winded discussion over modality interpretations of the Trinity as expressed in the Book of Mormon. Then set up an appointment to discuss things further.

You could have wasted a few hours of their time and saved the rest of the world from that much of their predator antics.

Are you asking us this because you feel guilty? You have been brainwashed into thinking missionaries are good people.

Whenever you feel rude, just remember that these young men are trained to stalk, lie to, and convert:

our children!
Students, away from home
lonely people
the elderly
vulnerable people who have just had a death in the family
scared people just diagnosed with cancer (my brother was one)

You have a right to be as rude as you want to protect your family and to keep trespassers off your property. Calling the police would not be rude, either.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 07:36PM by motherwhoknows.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude? No.
You were firm but polite. you handled it well.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
you have Zero obligation to be polite to those who purposely systematically violate the conventions of commons courtesy and decency to promote their VILE EVIL CRIMINAL enterprise even as it deceitfully poses as a church and a holy work.

MORmONS have alread been extended FAR MORE courtesy than they deserve because their all leaders are not in prison!

Re: Best response Kolob!
What? You mean they changed the 5 points of fellowship?

Mårv Fråndsen
I'm for basic civility
But, I really like the 'What is Wanted?' response. Some humorous poking is just fine.

OP's response was very direct, but I'd call it just shy of rude.

Behind the white shirts & ties/skirts are real human beings doing their best as they understand it.

I was there, and I remember.

Re: My Response to the Missionaries - Was This Rude?
I open the door, say "Not interested" as soon as I see the uniform, and close the door.
I don't bother with the "Nice day" part.

I don't consider it rude & I don't care if they do.
I use a civil tone, but I will not encourage them in any way or waste any more time on their racket than that.

There is zero obligation on my part to explain anything or engage in any conversation whatever.

Carol Y.
My nephew mishie is a really nice guy, but I hope people will be 'rude' , like you, to help him see the light. 

"Recovery from Mormonism -"