Mormon Missionaries Targeting adolescents?
erisophia Dec. 2014
Hello! I'm brand new here.
I have never been baptized as Mormon, although I came pretty close. I'd been attending church with them for a couple of months until I realized I was being 'love bombed'
and that I was blinded by the companionship and friendship the congregation offered me in a time when I was alone (as in literally only a few months ago).
I started attending the church because I was approached by missionaries in the street one evening with my friends, all of us seventeen or eighteen. I was the only one who invited them to talk to me some more and I ended up agreeing to go to church with them and at first I loved it. I was hugged, complimented, invited to parties and I felt loved. While I had friends, none of them really seemed to take much interest in me and I was completely lonely, and here were people, many of them my age, actually making an effort.
Then a couple of weeks ago I started to have doubts in Gospel Principles when they were talking about chastity and I was sat next to a teen mother and I could feel her discomfort. I went home, found this website and other ex-mormon stuff, and decided the church wasn't for me, and while I'm still finding it hard to pull away from the friends I've made, I know I'll regret it if I let them baptize me.
And then yesterday I was speaking to someone I barely know, and she says her and her friends were approached by the same mormon missionaries in the street, and upon looking some stuff up on the internet I'm starting to sense a pattern. Are the church targeting teenagers/young adults? I guess it could be because the majority of the missionaries are at a similar age to us, but it seems a little odd to me.
Cheryl
They do target young people who need friends.
I know of many recovering exmos who joined at that age because they were lonely and vulnerable to love bombing.
I'm glad you're seeing through their games in time to save yourself a life of grief.
Eric K
Re: Targeting adolescents?
First of all, I am glad you found us. The majority of us who were converts joined in our teenage years. Teens, lonely people and folks going through a difficult time in their lives are targets of the Mormon missionaries. You dodged a bullet. Keep up the critical thinking skills you have shown here in all aspects of your life. Question anything that seems too good to be true.
erisophia
Re: Targeting adolescents?
Thank you both. I'm worrying because I'm a 'people pleaser' and I'll feel bad if any of them message me asking why I haven't been at church, or if I see them in the street, it'll just be awkward. I've deleted my facebook partly to stop them all contacting me (they'd probably find out if I blocked them). Sounds extreme, but I'm very socially anxious hahah.
Dead Cat
Re: Targeting adolescents?
They target the vulnerable.
The lessons are often vague.
I am glad you are choosing to make an informed decision.
byuboner
Re: Targeting adolescents?
I joined when I was 18 because of a college professor. I was a mess coming from a difficult, abusive home life.
In retrospect, what the prof should have done was to refer me to a mental health specialist, that would have been the ethical thing to do. But, Mormons see the church as having all the answers so any tactic is legitimate in converting someone, no matter the ethical issues involved.
I'm glad you found out about Mormonism before taking the leap. As you probably have noticed, once you're in its harder than hell to get out, and many EXMOs, myself included, have scars from our experience. The Boner.
erisophia
Re: Targeting adolescents?
I'm at a very weird time in my life. I'm autistic, clinically depressed and dealing with the usual trials & tribulations of coming of age, I guess, and I felt like the LDS was the answer but now I'm seeing it will only make things worse. The love bombing is so hard to ignore though! Like, I feel guilty because they're so nice, and even as I type this I'm wondering if I should give them another chance. But logically I know I shouldn't.
Also, quick question, what does TBM stand for? I'm seeing it used a lot on the forum.
byuboner
Re: Targeting adolescents?
TBM=True Believing Member.
Best wishes!
torturednevermo
Re: Targeting adolescents?
erisophia, go read some of the short topics from this site at the following link.
http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon_shorts.htm
While this forum does have the occasional account of the horrors you will encounter within this cult, most of the day to day posts are the community yakking it up and enjoying each other’s company. The short topics, with their identifying topic titles, are a much more direct way to learn of what people experience inside the church.
You will find out that once you are in, the love bombing will stop, you will be judged harshly for any quirks you display, you will be made to feel uncomfortable if you don’t possess the perfect Mormon qualities (like being born into the church), etc, etc. In other words, they are only this nice until you join …then you will be manipulated through your feelings in the most uncomfortable and damaging ways. If you are in the autistic spectrum, you will lack the ‘radar’ to protect yourself from their socially abusive tactics. You will be damaged. Please go read through the short topics, and please don’t get involved with this cult. Please. Go investigate the short topics in the link I provided above. You will find what you read shocking. And hopefully you will never join.
ipo
I can confirm.
A week after my baptism, they were about 50 degrees colder than before baptism. I was really confused and thought first that I'd done something wrong. It took awhile before I realized that's what happens with almost all converts.
torturednevermo
I can confirm.
Read the topics, take a month if you need to, and then come here to ask questions about what you read. Realize how many young people are committing suicide as a result of this cult. if I could do one good thing this christmas, it would be to keep you away from these people. I know I sound intense, but this is serious. Good luck, and this community is here for you if you need to talk.
Eric K
I can confirm.
I have been organizing the site a bit better. The short topics is updated here:
http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/topics_by_subject.htm
Be sure to read the section and click on the topics inside "Life as a Mormon". That is what your life would of become as a Mormon.
Tristan
Re: Targeting adolescents?
I'm proud of you for figuring this stuff out.
What is really pathetic on their part is that they do it to other members. I was love bombed a lot even though I was born in it. They didn't care about me or love me. They just were over compensating because other members of the ward had treated me horribly. & because I had siblings who were in trouble, so I was considered "at risk", which is bs. I left anyway because 1) I was sick of being treated like dirt, & 2) I didn't believe the fraudulent teachings ever.
summer
Re: Targeting adolescents?
Unfortunately, most of the "friendships" that you have been making with Mormons are conditional. If you stop going to church, the friendship will evaporate. Real friends don't care what you do with your Sundays.
It is worth the time and energy to make friends who will stick with you no matter what.
Cheryl
More help for erisophea, anybody?
Mormons use peer pressure more than an average junior high kid.
They love it if they find a people pleaser because they know they can use that trait to manipulate the newcomer.
I'm going to ask you to do something very difficult. I want you to toughen up and force yourself to throw away the idea of pleasing these Mormon love bombers.
Stalkers and disreputable salespeople try to gain favor with target pigeons by doing little favors and giving compliments. They try to make the person think they're a new best friend because they want to sell a product or manipulate them to make a commitment. Mormons are expert at this. Don't let them take you in.
Be strong. Hang up the phone if they call. Don't let them into your house. Do not accept gifts or favors from them. Do not explain yourself. Answer any question with, "I'm no longer interested. Please respect my privacy. Goodbye."
This is a growing experience. The more you practice the skill of turning away riff-raff the easier it will be. Practice in your imagination before you can be ambushed. Think about hanging up the phone and closing the door when they're trying to hand you a plate of cookies. Practice will help you pull this off.
Good luck.
erisophia
Re: Targeting adolescents?
Thank you everyone, you have no idea how much it means. Honestly, I'm glad I found you when I did.
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"