Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level. (Mild Rant-no language)

by Lost Mar 2012

At 5:45AM this morning, the good ole missionaries dropped by to wake up our entire household.

Reason for their visit? Our Bishop Jackwagon wants Brother Lost to honor his Priesthood covenants (I thought I had lost those cause I had resigned?) and CLEAN THE CHAPEL before the meetings start this morning at 9AM. Apparently, the bathrooms need special attention, since the toilets are backed up.

(THIS IS NOT A JOKE, THIS REALLY HAPPENED THIS MORNING. Yes on day lightsavings morning, no less)

I was some kinda pissed. So was the wife. Especially the wife.

While I was talking to the missionaries, she disappeared, then returned.

She cut in on our conversation by telling the missionaries that we had RESIGNED from the mormon church and are not members, therefor DO NOT BOTHER US ANY MORE OR WE WILL TAKE LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THEM PERSONALLY FOR TRESPASSING. THEY HAVE RECIEVED THEIR FINAL WARNING.

(Wife told me afterwards she has had enough. She wants me to put up no tresspassing signs and explictly reference mormons in the warning. Also to certify mail warning letters to the leadership. YESSSS!!!)

But the most awesome moment was when she handed one of the missionaries a Toilet Plunger and told him to give it to the Bishop today at church with her regards. Then she slammed the door! She plans to call the bishop later today to make sure he got it! *evil grin*

Gosh, I love her!


Nicely done!
Wow, talk about harassment. The two of you handled that well. Let's hope that your efforts are fruitful.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Wow. That is just insane! I would have used a lot of colorful language if that had happened to our household.

I can see why you love your wife!

Eric K
This organization can be so over the top. Why did the missionaries agree to something so ridiculous as to wake someone up that early?

Mittens Romney
Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
You are my new heros!

BTW,is "mormon" just another word for "a**hole"?

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
LOL your wife's a champ!
Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Why don't they call in a plumbing contractor if the toilets are backed up?
He will charge them extra or coming out on Sunday - but so be it.

If they are too cheap for that, let stake leadership bring their plungers and apply a laying on of hands.
The missionaries too.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
It would be an ugly scene if that had occurred at my house.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
I'm surprised the HPGL didn't steal the 'Blessings'!; Oops, maybe he was the one who called the missionaries!

toilets backed up? apparently too many people flushing too much LDS 'Doctrine' towards SL/COB/GAs; the PR dept. has been Real Busy lately...

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
What a crappy start to the morning, at a hands of a religion whose toilets will always be backed up, because they're so full know.

OMG a RfM classic story! If only could appear on youTube
What a metaphor for the current state of the LDS Church - chapel toilets backed up.

General Conference should be sponsored by Roto Rooter.

Your wife should be the keynote speaker at our next exmo conference. Actually grabbing a toilet plunger and tossing it to the missionaries is just way to cool! You go girl.

spaghetti oh
Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Your wife is AWESOME!!! :-)

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Well, Ex-LDS women ARE awesome!
If someone is knocking on my door at 5:45 a.m.
it had better be because the house is on fire. Otherwise, the police are getting called that someone is trying a home invasion. It seems a lot of them happen after someone answers the door for someone they don't know early in the morning when it's still dark.
"she handed one of the missionaries a Toilet Plunger and told him to give it to the Bishop today at church with her regards"
What a waste of a perfectly good toilet plunger.

(I hope it was recently used, and not cleaned off)

Are you a professional plumber or a lay plumber?
I'm surprised you're wife didn't tell the missionaries where they could stick that plunger. What a great story! It would be nice if it could get in the news as an example of how the church harasses members who have resigned and how they can't afford a cleaning service or a plumber (one of the church's dirty little secrets).

You really should consider filing a restraining order on these jokers...
Make the bishop and missionaries involved (I'd include the Stake President and Mission President as well, since they are directly in charge of the bishop and missionaries) all parade into a court of law and have a restraining order issued against them by virtue of the fact that they (the SP and MP) and their agents (the Bishie and Mishies) have harassed you. You have resigned from their organization and have dissociated yourself with it, so their is no reason for them to come and attempt to coerce you into associating with them or rendering charitable services to any of them.

You will not need to put up "no tresspasing" signs and you will not have to expend any money or effort on fences and locked gates to keep these people out.

After having the restraining order issued, all you have to do is call the police if any of these individuals contacts you in any way and the offending individual will be taken into custody and will spend many hours if not a day or so in jail until they can get bailed out, and then they'll have to go to court for having violated the terms of the restraining order and may actually spend additional time for that, unless the judge just lets them walk with "time already served".

I have already made the decision that if any church representative contacts me in an attempt to "un-resign" me or pressure me into associating with the LDS church in any way, I'll find out everything I need to know (names and addresses) about that individual and their leader(s), under whose direction they are working, and they'll all be served with summons to appear in court and I will request that a restraining order be issued against each and every one of them for the maximum time permitted (usually 5 years, I believe). End of story.

The restraining order will go on their record and if they violate it that will too, so any future background checks will bring up that red flag for anyone looking to employ them (who takes the time to run a background check!)

That is the way to handle this cult. IMHO, every Ex-mo should make this decision so that the numbers of restraining orders against SPs, Bishies, HTs, VTs, Mishies, etc. will pile up and they'll start clamoring to the Area Presidencies and GAs, that their "bold" attempts to save souls has resulted in them getting court orders issued against them, blemishes on their public records, and jail time for the stubborn ones who are not deterred by or choose not to abide by the court's authority in issuing the restraining order! And I think that is about the only way we'll see any shift in the cult's tactics in dealing with people who have resigned, asked for no contact, or have simply stopped participating.

I see no down side for a victim of harassment or threats in issuing a restraining order against the offending individual.

Restraining orders....
'too bad' that Mo people shift chairs so often; you can only get a RO against an individual, not a position in ChurchCo.

by the time U get one, the person involved will be shifted to another spot on the line-up.

Dave the Atheist
If you won't clean LD$ Inc. toilets then what good are you ? 

How about a letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Trib?
How about a letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Trib? When I sent in my resignation letter (over 10 years ago), I was still waiting after 8 months, 1 unwanted visit from my local bishop and 2 calls to church office in SLC. Nothing happened. I sent a letter to the editor of the SL Trib (I live in New Mexico) while I was getting the run around from the church, and the paper printed my letter with my name, city and state. I got my letter from the church acknowledging my resignation with in a few days. It's worth a try.

BTW, I would have been pissed to have someone show up at 5:45 am for such nonsense.

What a real life story! Wow!
You can't make this stuff up!
Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
That's my kind of girl! My DH just said "Are you sure you don't have a carbon copy of my wife??!! Damned missionaries.
No, actually restraining orders *can* be issued against whole organizations not just against individuals.
I went to the county building where I lived and picked up the necessary papers. The woman I talked with told me to use these papers for everyone representing the offending organization, just write LDS Church where it asks for the person's name who will be restrained. But this process can be lengthy and expensive.

What I did was go to the local police station with documentation of harassment and trespassing. DH filled out complaint forms and the police chief issued a cease and desist order against all official mormons in the area. The chief also sent a letter copying the bish, the SP, and the MP telling them to stay off our property and to cut off all contact or possibly be arrested. Then he sent an officer to the bishop's house to explain the order personally. This was all free of charge and as binding as a court order.

Missionaries are to 'bring souls unto Christ', not to toilets. WTF??

Carol Y.
LOL, 'an anal retentive' toilet, just like the organization itself. 

Now a Gentile
Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Every once in a great while an action becomes a classic. Cheryl and the hose is probably the best known but this should rise to this level of fame. Handing the mishie a plunger not only has literal meaning but the proverbial is priceless.

Alternatively, this would have been a great opportunity...
grab your iPod, throw on some rubber boots, and plug the hell out of one of the toilets and just flood, flood, flood from 5:45 AM until hours later when someone finally realized that serious "S" was occurring in the bathroom, and then be all innocent that it just started and you couldn't get it under control... "Sorry, I'm just an amateur at janitorial work. I don't know what to tell ya, but I'm giving up..." and then just walk.

+1 to anyone willing to use a Church toilet and accidentally overflow it while flushing
+1 more if you had menudo within the previous 6 hours.

Re: OMG a RfM classic story! If only could appear on youTube

This is a pearl of great price that should be treasured for the ages at the Salamander, cricket!

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
She's a keeper for sure...way to go!!

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
'White House' Plumbers (Watergate era) needed, not janitors

I wouldn't recommend deliberately causing damage. Who needs the legal trouble?
Plus, you'd be the one standing in the proverbial. Ugh.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Lost, that is just unreal what they did. And I think your wife's response was priceless. Good for her. Now with the water hose story, we have a toilet plunger story. You guys are models on how to handle annoying Mormons.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
I'm pretty sure that missionaries aren't supposed to be out-and-about that early. Perhaps should call up the Mission President and with Christlike concern say that you saw the missionaries outside of their apartment really early in the morning.

RIGHT ON! That is the way to go!
I haven't been bothered at all since I resigned in 2002, but given the fact that everyone else in my immediate family is a TBM, I find it hard to imagine that at some time in the future they won't make an attempt to contact me and persuade me to re-join.

Even though I asked for complete name removal, I doubt that in the "family group records" for my parents, my name has been erased. IDK, but if anyone has information about how completely name removal is carried out, I'd love to know.

This one got stuck and all I did was flush, but the water just kept coming. I guess I was in the other bathroom while most of the flooding was happening. When I came back it was just too late and a total mess... I'm glad you showed up because I don't know what to do.

If JS and BY can lie to and murder innocent people for their Morg Kingdom, I've got no problem with flooding one of their toilets after their minions disobey my no-contact request and wake my family and I up at 5:45 AM!

I'd probably feel inclined to through a couple dozen eggs at the building too for the 5:45 AM violation of my peace and privacy.

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
Ewwwwwwwwww. Just "ewww" to this whole thread!

The Mormons have finally, fully jumped on the crazy train.

Just shakin' my head . . . .


Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
What really blows me away is the conversation the missionaries must have had when they decided that they were just too important to the Lord's work to unplug the toilets. That their Great Commission was to reactivate a drop-out by giving them @#$%&.

Is this the modern version of "Shake their dust from my shoes?"

In the time they took to drive over to your place and wake up your household, they could have been cleaning the damn bathrooms themselves.

Oh, wait, that's not their calling. Is it their calling to find out what sucker can be dragged out of their bed at 5:30 am?


Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level
LOL I think they jumped the crazy train long before this, but yeah, showing up at somebody's house at 5-40-fucking-5 in the morning for toilet scrubbing has got to be near the top of the crazy list on RfM. And that's saying A LOT ;)
Re: You really should consider filing a restraining order on these jokers...
I agree. That was WAY WAY WAY over the top with what they did! Not even my own TBM bishop would do that!

Re: Yep, Toilets need cleaning at the ward level.
You sure got that right! :-D

Your wife rocks!
Great plan -- getting some ex-Mormons up on a Sunday morning to clean toilets. What unbelievable arrogance!

"Recovery from Mormonism -"