Funeral and anger
woodruff Nov. 2013
I have something to say. I am an ex in Australia who served in Bishoprics and High Councils, I left 5 years ago, and it sent shock waves when my wife and I left, as we were considered "faithful and good with the youth". Recently I was asked to attend a funeral of an elderly lds lady who was a neighbour of mine in my 20's. I liked her so I went alone to the funeral
, in spite of the fact that my wife and children begged me not to. (And I didn't listen). the funeral service was nothing more than Mormon propaganda for TWO HOURS (not counting the actual burial another 2 hours). Continual leaderships talks about faith, temple marriage, come back to the fold, and almost NOTHING about this woman's life. seriously, they barely mentioned her name! She was a bit player in her own funeral.
Once the service was over the attacks on me began. "You used to be such a good man". I still am I would reply. "My son used to look up to you, you were like his Father". I replied , I haven't moved, he has always been welcome.
One woman burst into tears and wanted her PHOTOGRAPH taken with me for "memories". Another strode up to me and said "you need a smack in the head to get you back to church, fool".
This is all happening before the casket has even been placed into the hears. The family of the deceased were being totally ignored while twenty people were annoying me and demanding how I COULD HAVE LET THEM ALL DOWN BY LEAVING. (I LEFT 5 YEARS AGO)
One jerk told me while standing over the deceased remains of this poor woman, that I needed to use this woman's life as an example, and my stupidity and arrogance was an embarrassment to him. Keep in mind,. He threatened that the Lord would soon take away my LDS mother as a punishment, if I don;t get back to Church!!! I am no fool, I have a masters of applied finance, and am a company Director on three boards.
People I just wanted to pay my respects, and was abused and humiliated, and SCREAMED AT just for turning up at a chapel to say farewell. I have never had a cross word with any one of those people, have never expressed any anti sentiments, and have even EMPLOYED a FEW OF THEM IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, WHEN THEY HAVE FALLEN ON HARD TIMES!!!!!!
I am so sorry to vent , but the Australian way is to be relaxed and easy going until we have had enough. Well I have had enough. To use a funeral, and the death of a friend and aquaintance to belittle and humiliate, and ignore the family of the deceased is DISGUSTING.
I left quietly with my wife and children 5 years ago, without any problems ir harsh words. We just disappeared! It took them 6 months to notice we were gone!! I have never seen such vile hate in my life, and am disgusted to think I was one of them. I have never posted in my life to this forum, but feel free to use this post to show whqat LDS has become and what they are capable of. I have to find forgiveness in my heart now
cludgie
Re: Funeral and anger
Glad to see you here. So many people have posted here after they have been grievously pissed off after attending a Mormon funeral. It is really about the church, isn't it? Seldom about the person.
We Americans always look up to Australians (Strayans) because of your attitudes and beautiful country. It's sad to see, however, that Mormons there are just as obnoxious and ill-mannered as they are here.
blueorchid
Re: Funeral and anger
I had been out of the church for 37 years but still got the shock of my life when my father died and the funeral was mainly a Plan of Salvation seminar. The stake president went non-stop, dragging out every old faith promoting story in existence and using his "special spiritual voice" the whole time. Hardly any of the funeral had anything to do with my father. I was angered but my family was eating it up.
The dedication of the grave was another half hour of church propaganda disguised as dedicatory prayer. I know how bad it can be.
Everyone was nice to me though, so that was good. What you described would be pretty hard to take. Good for you for keeping your cool and trying to keep the service respectful for the grieving family.
Great rant. Vent away!
stbleaving
Re: Funeral and anger
So sorry that this happened to you, and at the funeral of an old friend, no less. You have every right to be angry and this is a good place to vent when you can't yell at the idiots who abused you. I hope posting and reading here helps you to know that you're not alone in your feelings.
summer
Re: Funeral and anger
The behavior that you experienced is reprehensible. It's hard to imagine that the church members would somehow think that behaving that poorly would attract you back.
In other mainstream churches, people would just nod and smile at you, and perhaps say, "nice to see you." They would focus their conversations on the deceased because they realize that the purpose of a funeral is to mourn and to support those closest to the deceased.
procrusteanchurch
Re: Funeral and anger
I lived in Australia for a while, and I remember after my first day at work I felt like everyone there was an old friend. Australians are a friendly bunch, and it really shows how messed up tscc [this so called church] is if it can make Ozzies act in such an uncivil manner. Sorry you were treated so poorly.
closer2fine
Re: Funeral and anger
Wow.... I'm getting riled up just reading about it..... I wish they could all read this and understand how inappropriate and thoughtless they were..... sorry mate.
Senoritalamanita
Re: Funeral and anger
The Mormon morons attending the funeral were disrespectful to the memory of the deceased, to her family, and to you sir.
It makes my blood boil. I am so sorry you had to experience such abusive behavior.
SusieQ#1
Re: Funeral and anger
Oh my. I'm so sorry you were treated so rudely. No excuse for such behavior!
I'm so glad we had a wonderful service for my husband in an LDS Chapel a little over nine months ago. It was all about him, his life, his experiences shared by our children.
Only one short talk/testimony by the bishop that was personal. No preaching.
Everyone was supportive and kind to me and my family even though most of us were no longer LDS.
Such a contrast to your experience. Still shaking my head.
madalice
Re: Funeral and anger
When my Very TBM parents pass, I will not attend their funeral.
Your experience is a good depiction of why. Why would I go to a mormon missionary discussion where all of those in attendance will rain down on me like a toxic waste? Why would I go to hear how wonderful the mormon church is? I know better. It has destroyed my entire family for generations.
we who follow our conscience an keep our values in spite of mormonism are denied the right to mourn our friends and family when they pass. If we attend the funeral we are subjected to lectures and ridicule. That's a sick sick formula that mormonism has taken on.
I'm so sorry that you were subjected to that kind of treatment. On the good side, it just validates that you made the right decision.
CA girl
Re: Funeral and anger
Repeat after me: See, this is why NOBODY respects Mormons.
It's a handy comeback to just about anything a Mormon says and unfortunately in this case, very true. For them to hijack a woman's funeral with their propaganda is outrageous enough but to ignore the family to treat someone the way you were treated is really, really over the top.
Another thing to remember is that Mormons hate being discounted. They honestly believe that their opinions are influential and telling them things like "That's your opinion but I don't agree with you" or "Your behavior is inappropriate right now - I'm so embarrassed for you" or "I don't want to be like you - I can't be as hateful or nasty as you are being right now" or simply do what my British grandma did. She'd look someone in the eye, then down to their feet and then back in the eye and then turn and walk away. It was devastating, she did it with such skill you'd think she was a duchess and it shut people up really fast.
Cali Sally
Re: Funeral and anger
Your story makes me wonder what is being taught now days about associating with members who have left the church. It must be awful. I've been resigned for seven years and my family is all inactive. I came right out and asked my mother if she wanted an LDS funeral. I'm so glad she said "No". I would hate to go through your experience and that poor woman's family. Your story reinforces to all of us that we made the right decision by exiting such a horrible church.
Hopefully you won't have any more interaction with those people. They behaved very badly. So sorry it happened to you.
Stormin
Re: Funeral and anger
I have been out about a year even though I quit paying tithing 3 years ago. Only my one neighbor keeps implying "one cannot believe what is on the net." Many believe I just have one or two issues from the net so after SLC clarifies the history issues I will be back ----- versus I believe everything Joseph said was a LIE. As for the rest on the members, I usually go up and shake their hands when I see them so they don't say anything bad. However, if they did I would basically say I was concerned with going to hello like you will be for following false prophets and false doctrine. At a funeral I would probably say something to the effect it is too bad they didn't find the Truth or have a saving relationship with God ----- I am glad I have one now. I could care less how many morbots I would piss off!
Feijoada
Re: Funeral and anger
I knew my father was dead, but I had not been given an invite to his funeral, not even from my mother. I called my mother's house to get details. A TBM brother answered. He told me my mother did not wish to speak to me, nor did he. To my surprise, Bishop Dad was to be turfed in Utah, 800 hundred miles distant. Everyone would be there, but me, the apostate.
I was accused of abandoning family, especially Dad, after I could no longer "believe in Joseph Smith".
fluhist
Re: Funeral and anger
SO aorry you went though this Woodruff, it is disgusting in every way!! Glad you could rant, and please continue to do so!! You have EVERY right to be angry, and it will only be when the anger dissipates that you will even be able to think about forgiving such abuse!!
Above all else it is UN-Australian to be THAT rude!!
I send my love to you and yours!!
Cheryl
What a nasty ordeal!
I'm sorry for your suffering and I'm sad that those Mormons used the woman's funeral against you.
Her poor family must have felt alone and marginalized.
imaworkinonit
Holy friggin' hell. That's worse than I have ever heard hear in Utah!
I hope you called all of them on it.
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"