Recovery from Mormonism

by introvertedme nov 2011

Temple yesterday, resignation today. What a ride, but I wasn't about to miss our son's wedding yesterday. It was a joyous occasion, but being in the temple again (for the last time) drove home how egregious the ceremonies, phrases, and "promises" are. I emailed my resignation and have received several confirmations back, via didtheyreadit.com, showing me that it's making the rounds in the COB and being attended to. Hopefully the official letter won't be far behind.

My name is Cathy M..., I'm 49, am blissfully married to the most amazing man in the history of the world, am a lifelong musician (sometimes professional), an avid reader and scrapbooker, a proud mother and Nana, and never, ever thought I'd get to this point. It feels odd, but...wonderful. :)

I'll give out more information when I write my exit story, but for now I just wanted to share my happy news. It's over and I can start living the rest of my life free from guilt, threats, manipulations, lies, pressure, exhaustion, anger, and frustration. I can't WAIT!!!! :)

beansandbrews
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Congrats on your freedom.

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Thank you - I am very happy. :)

tiptoes
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Yeah! Cheers to you and living an authentic life!

robertb
So good to meet you, Cathy! Congratulations! 

dagny
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Good for you, Cathy. Enjoy the quest! You sound happy, talented, and in charge of your life.

We stuck it out until my youngest child's baptism. Hubby baptized her (because we were not ready to deal with grandparents) and then we never went back.

ginger
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Congrats Cathy! That's great news!

upsidedown
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Welcome to letting yourself feel fear and joy....through being authentic and vunlerable.

It's nice for me to be able to say that I don't know all the answers, or some "plan of happiness". Nothing like telling the complete truth to bring joy to our souls.

Congratulations.

anagrammy
It's a Coming Out Party for Introvertedme!
Congratulations again and here's a virtual armful of roses for ya, hon.

Talk about being "born again" -- this is the real deal!

I felt like a prisoner wrongly convicted being released and walking slowly and carefully down the road to the bus stop, looking at everything, the colors so bright and full of possibilities.

Life is good when you own your own.

Anagrammy

summer
Congratulations, Cathy! :-) 

Doxi
WTG, Cathy!
You rock!

Enjoy your freedom!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2011 01:10AM by Doxi.

matt
Hello, Cathy! 49 and a Nana? Wow! Another Glamorous Granny at RFM!
That's cool!

Do you have any examples of your music you can share with us, please?

We have other exmo musicians at RFM. Nice to have another.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2011 05:42AM by matt.

Timothy
Congrats!
Nice to meet you!

Party on, mate!

Timothy

cl2
Congratulations
I thought I may feel some twinge of regret when I e-mailed mine off--but I didn't. My nonmo boyfriend really thought I might because he had sent me all my e-mails that I had sent him stating I would never resign because of this and this and this.

There comes a point where I feel you have to make a statement if not to yourself--to someone or someones in your life.

I don't recognize your name--but I assume I'll find out how close you live to me soon.

I cannot imagine going to the temple again. I did go to general conference a few years after I decided I no longer believed--with my TBM daughter. I hadn't been since I was 18 years old and I was about 51 at the time. It was really interesting to sit in that great and spacious building and take a good hard look at the lds church from a different perspective. It was very freeing.

Looking forward to your bio.

I put this in the wrong spot--sorry.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2011 08:34AM by cl2.

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Thank you all!! I am one happy girl, I can tell you that! :) I so appreciate the support you show - it was one of the major reasons I found the courage to resign in the first place. Couldn't have done it without you guys! :)

My music...no samples, really. I'm different than many - I am an accompanist (an entirely different art in itself than "just" playing) and although I have performed literally tens of thousands of times, in various venues (mostly for church or community-related things) I am almost never recorded. I do things live and have only done one recording in a studio, which I didn't enjoy - the rush is the live performance, no matter what kind it is. I struggle with a panic disorder now, which I thought was a punishment from God (still working through all that), so I haven't played a note in public for almost 3 1/2 years - it is the most grievous thing I've ever dealt with, as performing is my lifeblood and who I am right down to my core. I'm doing better, though, and I think I am finally to the point where I can attempt it again. Part of me died the day the disorder struck me down, so I have worked hard to manage it - not conquer it, but manage it. Interestingly, that very incident was one of the catalysts that started me down the road toward leaving the "church". I knew I had to shed many layers of behavior society forces upon us and step out of the stunningly rigid boundaries within the church, and that journey toward a truly authentic life forced me to reconsider EVERYTHING I thought I knew for sure in life. Perhaps, in a strange way, it was actually a blessing to have my music removed. Having said that, though, now that I've resigned and am joyful about it...I WANT IT BACK!! We'll see what happens with that.

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
cl2 - I live in College Ward, right next to Wellsville. We lived in Mink Creek ID for 20 years, but decided to move closer to civilization when the kids grew up and moved on. We love it here so much. The funny thing is, my husband is a cable guy - since you live in Hyrum (right?), if you have cable t.v. there is a good chance he or one of his coworkers has been in your home. He works in Hyrum constantly. :)

cl2
I have comcast internet--and only have minimal cable
so I don't know if he works for them or another provider.

My ex lives here most of the time, so he chooses how much cable we have (he is cheap).

Anyway--Yep, I have lived in Hyrum for over 25 years--raised my twins here. I live more than half the time in Colorado with my boyfriend now--but I really miss being home. I've lived within a 30 mile range all my life, so this has been a HUGE change for me.

Cheryl
Welcome! Glad you're here. : ) 

janebond462
Congratulations! :-) 

introvertedme
Re: I have comcast internet--and only have minimal cable
Yes, he works for Comcast. :)

introvertedme
Re: I have comcast internet--and only have minimal cable
Thanks! So happy... :)

possiblypagan
Good for you! I did the email and didtheyreadit.com as well. 

cludgie
This has been fun.
I think you're the only person I've seen on here who went to the temple one day, and resigned the next.

Eew. The temple. Creepy, ain't it?

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
It was before everything imploded and it's even more so now. I KNOW what's going on now, where the ceremonies come from, how much has changed, and how very wrong it all is. They spill out so many "promises" of endless kingdoms and progeny, but few think about what that ACTUALLY means. I was severely creeped out - I so didn't want to go, but it was the only way I was going to be able to see our son married. I got my recommend renewed a year and a half ago, though it was dicey (and I wasn't honest - sorry, but they force you into that), and then hoped he'd get married before it expired. There was no way, not even for him, that I was going to start paying ransom money...er, tithing, and show up to those gawdawful meetings in order to play the game and get that recommend. We were lucky he found his sweet bride and got married before it was too late (for me). I knew I was hanging on by my fingertips and that it was a weird situation, but the "church" makes it so. Fortunately we got out of doing any sessions and just had to attend the sealing ceremony. I've been waiting for the day I could resign for a while - since April, actually, and it seemed like forever until the wedding occurred and I could proceed!

motherwhoknows
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
It's awful, the way the LDS, Inc. uses "The Family" to hold its members hostage.

WTG! Leave the day after your son is married. I stayed in for my daughter's wedding, too. We can't wait to read your bio!

Interesting about your music. I resigned about 6 years ago, and haven't touched the piano since. You wrote,

"I knew I had to shed many layers of behavior society forces upon us and step out of the stunningly rigid boundaries within the church, and that journey toward a truly authentic life forced me to reconsider EVERYTHING I thought I knew for sure in life. Perhaps, in a strange way, it was actually a blessing to have my music removed.

I hope you get your music back--just for your own enjoyment.

archytas
Congrats on taking that step! 

Strykary
Congrats introvertedme, it's good that you were able to work things out so you could see your son get married
Welcome to the dark side! :P

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Thanks, motherwhoknows. I hope so too, and I think a fair amount of other people are hoping for me too - I'm well known for my music and have always been in high demand. I love it and need it, and I love when people use me (it's the only time I allow that). :)

introvertedme
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
Thanks again, all - it is an incredible relief! I can finally learn to live authentically, honestly, and without guilt and fear. There is nothing better in life. :)

honestone
Re: Finally - I am done! Introducing
I am very happy for you. And does your son know about your decision? Did he marry a girl from a hard core Mormon family? Anynow, best wishes. YOU have a long life yet to live and it will be fabulous!!!Congrats.

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"