Recovery from Mormonism

baneberry Oct. 2014

Several family members, children and parents, must have been inspired by conference and are using various approaches to talk to us. One is a walk down memory lane and how wonderful it used to be when we all went to conference together. Another is a guilt trip about how drinking coffee creates a horrible impression upon their children and they don't feel safe in our home.

Another is a question of whether or not we listened to conference and how the talks made them want to be better people.

The kids made us miserable when we would try to watch conference. Now, they make us miserable if we don't. I guess it is fair.

The MIL and DF ask if we saw any of it and chasten us about missing the words of the prophets. I guess I'm reliving my childhood because I hated conference.

The one that is freaking out is a good kid. I hope we can keep him from not shutting us out of his life. I don't want to change anybody. I just want them to accept me. Being different is a threat, especially if it is your dad and now he's not believing what he tried so hard to teach you.

The other is also a good kid. He cannot stop talking about the church every time we see him. It gets tedious and strains our relationship. What about a nice conversation about sports?

Another went inactive for years, married a non-member and now is active again and cannot understand our struggles!?!? Funny how life circles back on itself.

What a mess!

We each get to argue about an unproven religious theology and what our world view is and how those that don't see it our way are bad, going to suffer, draw others away, and so forth...

How was I so blind?

Wow.

jellobeltnevermo
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

The coffee drinking making them feel unsafe in your home. Wow! My sister-in-law (ex-mo) said her mother (TBM) loved to drink coffee so she would make toast and intentionally burn it to mask the smell of her beloved coffee.

Doubting Thomas
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

"...drinking coffee creates a horrible impression upon their children and they don't feel safe in our home."

This is such an interesting statement. From TBM days everyone would say "I get it." Once you've escaped TSCC [this so called church], even only mentally you see how utterly insane this position is to a normal person.

michaelc1945
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

Being blind is a reality caused by misplaced trust and beliefs. This is one of the church's tools to maintain order in the fold. Once you open your eyes the truth is easy to see as is the pathway to freedom. The trick is in getting your eyes to focus once they are open and that is a process that is different for all.

Arwen
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

I'm sorry...what a sad situation to be in. :( It's things like this that really upset me about the church.

And the coffee comment, wow...

Devoted Exmo
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

10 And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand:

11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

sunnynomo
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

Safe? Safe??? How does witnessing a coffee cup being drained make one "not safe?"

kestrafinn

If they say the talks make them want to better people, respond with "Good. Start by treating me with the respect you wish me to give to you and stop badgering me about conference. That would be a good start toward being better."

ultra
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

Maybe they are afraid you are going to take a hot pot of coffee and throw it on them when they visit? Have you done stuff like that in the past? Maybe you should lock up your guns and knives too if you have any?

PapaKen
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

I'm sure she just meant that it could be dangerous, in case someone spilled hot coffee on a little child and caused a scalding.

Tell her you'll be careful not to spill any.

When I was a TBM, and my brother & family were members but not all that active, my SIL drank coffee every day. They still sent their 2 young kids to primary.

One day in primary, my niece innocently announced to the class that her mother drank coffee every day. The teacher told her to tell her mother that she was "bad" for drinking coffee. So she came home at told her mother she was bad.

Well, SIL got mighty angry at the teacher and the church. Later she recounted to me the whole situation, and declared, "IMAGINE that, telling a little child her mother was bad for drinking coffee!"

She didn't confront the primary teacher, but vowed to never send her daughter back to primary. And she didn't.

As for me, I bit my tongue - didn't want to upset SIL or niece. But I still silently sided with the church &the WOW. Silly me.

rhgc
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

I have grandchildren in our home who think I am bad because I drink coffee. I constantly affirm that it is "good" coffee and healthy. I am leading by example in hopes that some day they will understand that it is TSCC which is bad for you.

claire
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

"drinking coffee creates a horrible impression upon their children and they don't feel safe in our home."
OH. MY. GOD.
Well, then, they must never, ever set foot in a restaurant, a bank, where you get your oil changed, their non-member friends' houses (if they have any!)--oh, oh, even the grocery store! They have Starbucks in there!

"The world" is a pretty dangerous place!

hello
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

Most coffees I have tried out in the US marketplace really ARE dangerous---dangerously bitter and repugnant, that is.

But, Hawaiian shade-grown cloud forest organic light roast, that is some sweet coffee, that wouldn't hurt anyone at all, even kids. Yummy and friendly, feels so good.

summer
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It

Exactly, do they feel unsafe in restaurants as well? I would be tempted to show them the menus of restaurants they patronize, with the word "coffee" hightlighted.

Kismet
Re: Family Must Be Feeling It
I used to think all coffee was dangerously bitter and repugnant.

I know better now. :)

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"