he called my ex. why did he do that and not contact me directly?

anyway, he said he needs to interview me in order to proceed with my resignation.

it sounds like bullshit to me but please enlighten me. thnx guys.


ref: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,304138,304138#msg-304138

The Bishop is pulling your leg. Simply demand that he process your paperwork immediately. Perhaps threatening legal action might help.

Long ago the church had a policy like that but now they only do it if and when they think they can get away with it.

Tell him no way.

You absolutely DO NOT need to meet with him to continue the resignation process. As soon as your letter was received, you stopped being a member. What comes next is just their paperwork. The bishop is just trying to maintain power over you. DON'T LET HIM.

At the very most, what he can ask for is confirmation that you did send the letter. That can be cleared up with a simple phone call. Tell him you are, in fact, resigning, and that you are fully aware that it is not necessary for him to "interview" you to process your resignation. To do so would indicate that he has any kind of power or say in the matter, but he does not. It's your call, and your call only. So I would just call him, tell him to go ahead and finish processing the paperwork, and tell him that contacting your ex or any other person about your resignation is completely inappropriate.

No exit interview needed...I would ignore and if they seem to prolong it, light a fire under Greg Dodge. Technically, your written request to resign means you are OUT!

I was told that too, but I just explained to him that since they received my resignation which states immediate resignation , I was no longer a member and I was not going to
follow any church rules. I told them to just process it with dodge.

they held it up an extra 30 days, but it did go thru. and i never saw anyone from the church.

In 2006 I did the following;
1.Letter to Bishop
2.Letter to Stake Pres
3.Letter to Greg Dodge
Exact same letter only names were different.Only contact I had was from Bishop who asked if I wanted to wait in case I changed my mind.I told him no,he said alright & it ended there.I live in Canada so the rules may be a bit different than in the states



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/09/2011 07:21PM by Dan McKenzie.

Just say no.

I would just contact COB and let them deal with him.

He was kind of apologetic about it and asked if we were sure that we wanted to resign. He had never met us nor us him and we said we were sure. That was in 2001.

Remind them that their rules don't matter to you.

They are supposed to meet with you for a couple reasons. These include making sure you know the consequences of leaving, such as no covenants or blessings remain (rolling my eyes). Also they want to know what they are supposed to do about your kids.

Second, they are supposed to see if there is a reason you should be excommunicated. If they decide it was a moral issue (rolling my eyes) they are supposed to excommunicate you and not just let you resign.

However once you say you are not a member, their rules don't concern you. You can call the bishop and tell him so and to proceed with getting you off their records ASAP.

Remember, unless you believe they have authority over you, they do not. You don't have to do anything they request. You have control of your life now. Walk away, walk away! Just say no, and go have a green tea, or beer, or whatever suits your fancy.

If you are experiencing unnecessary delays, call Dodge.

No one needs to contact your ex. Also, there is no interview. He's just having you on for one last round of control.

It contains a section asking if there is any sin or misdeed that they think you have committed.

Should you ever decide to return to the LDS church, the form will be unearthed, and what they think your sins were, will become known to your new BP.

Do not go to the exit interview. It will be probing, and you won't like it.

You resigned. They obviously have the paperwork. Just request that they process it.

You're out. There is a new life waiting for you.

Best wishes!

CHI, 6.14 Removing Names from Church Membership records

An adult member who wishes to have his name removed from the membership records of the church must send the bishop a written, signed request. A request that Church representatives not visit a member is not sufficient to initiate this action.

The bishop makes sure that a member who requests name removal understands the consequences: it cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member, and revokes temple blessings. The bishop also explains that a person can be readmitted to the church by baptism and confirmation only after a thorough interview (see 6.14.4).

If the bishop is satisfied that the member understands these consequences and is not likely to be dissuaded, he complete a report of administrative action form and forwards it to the stake president. The bishop forwards the member's written request and membership record with the form.

If members of the stake presidency determine that the bishop has followed established procedures, they ask him to send the member a letter stating that his name is being removed from the records of the church as requested. The letter should state the consequences of name removal. it should also state that the request for name removal can be rescinded only if the member sends the stake president a written request for recision within 30 days (the stake president's name and address should be included). If a member demands that his name be removed immediate from church records, the 30 day period may be waived.

If a member demands immediate name removal or does not request a recision within 30 days, the stake president submits the completed report of admin action form and other documents requested on the form. Instructions for submittal are on the form. The person's name is then removed from the membership records of the church.

If a member sends a written request for name removal directly to church headquarters rather than to local leaders, the office of the 1st pres will forward this letter to the member's stake president for action in accordance with this section. The stake president should give prompt attention to such requests. ( sentence is in italics). If church headquarters has not received a response form the stake president within 60 days, the name removal request will be granted automatically.

What edition/date of the CHI is this from?

Thanks

You don't have to do any such thing. Their internal paperwork is their problem. The moment they received your resignation, you were out, and they have zero power over you.

Tell him "Nope, not going to do any such thing. I'm out. I'm not going to let you talk to me about this ever again." Then hang up and refuse to answer any calls or the door or letters if he sends them. Not your problem anymore.

NnOT TRUE ONCE THEY GET YOUR LETTER YOU ARE LEGALLY OUT ACCORDING TO THE U.S. COURTS.

Start enjoying your liberation from the church by ignoring him. Go buy some awesome shoes instead!!

Perhaps you should tell him that unless he processes your resignation immediately, he's opening himself and the cult to a lawsuit and bad press.

Tell him:

Bishop is extorting a meeting.

Bishop is libelously contacting OTHER PEOPLE about your request.

Demand your letter today or you will consider legal options.

I bet you see it in 48 hours.

Its a desperate attempt by the church to exert their last bit of "authority" over you before you are gone. Only do it if you WANT to.

yeah, fuck them.

somebody posted above that if they don't get a letter from local leaders then after 60 days my name is removed automatically. fuck that.

what's their 800 number by the way?

i'm calling tomorrow to see what's up. if they are not cool with my request, i'll send my resignation letter to the local newspaper. hopefully they publish it.

You DO NOT need an exit interview. Tell him to process your request, that you do not want any contact, that you understand the "consequences" and you will pursue legal action he doesn't follow your wishes. As for calling your ex husband...I'd threaten to sue over that. It seems like the word lawsuit is the only thing that puts a fire under their asses.

to try and manipulate you through others. There are a lot of people who don't want their family,friendsa nd ex's to have to deal with any crud from their leaving.


TSSC is a coward.

What IS "silly" is to think that one would have to go to those lengths for the MOdullards to "get it"...

It's about whether they pull stupid crap like excommunicating you behind your back just so that they can slur you publicly because you didn't force them not to. Nobody much wants a large group of family, friends, and acquaintances to hear about how they were kicked out for sinning when in fact they weren't.

It's also about symbolically regaining control over your life from a group that is infamous for exerting far too much control, by forcing them to do the one thing they don't want to do - officially let go.

I personally don't want to or expect to have to threaten lawsuits, but if other people need to give the Morg a quick kick in the face to feel free, why accuse them of temper-tantruming?

if other people need to
> give the Morg a quick kick in the face to feel
> free, why accuse them of temper-tantruming?


We all know that impulse but I seriously can't think of any response that a bishop or the ward members won't gleefully mutate into evidence that the apostate is under the influence of Satan. Mormons will see Divine Intervention in a bag of Cheerios if it suits their purposes.

That's why I say ignore their self-righteous-hate-spree-exit-meeting. Celebrate instead -- start the new life!!

Does the COB want to take a chance that a stupid bishop has a giant hard on and pisses off someone who will really make a huge stink and cost them a lot of money? I doubt it. This is why being a little crazy and outraged at his behavior with Dodge's office will move things along.

good point guys...

i don't want this fucker to excommunicate me behind my back and the proceed with the character assassination. so i really want to regulate on his ass asap. <sigh> i'm so over the morg that picking up the phone seems a huge task to me. maybe i'll have to do it.

on the other hand, maybe i should just let go and let the thing expire after 60 days as somebody posted above.

i'll send my letter to a local newspaper though whether i call the morg or not. i want to see what's up.