On Ron's Sheri Dew thread, NormaRae said:

"I know she [Dew] dated Dallin Oaks during the time between his polygamous wives, so obviously he didn't ask her [to marry him].

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,232398,232966#msg-232966

I didn't know they had dated. Isn't he a lot older than her? I'd think it would be kind of embarrassing for either one of them to break up at that level (of leadership in the Mormon Church). Awkward.

I met Sheri Dew once - the kind of meet where you're in a crowd and she says hello and shakes your hand. I was at an RS meeting in SLC one day. I thought she was a great speaker, motivational, inspirational even in that context. She was attractive, funny and came across as warm and friendly. Or maybe it was just me, doused in the Spirit - or something. I used to pretty much think everything was great so usually enjoyed whatever I was doing.

I know that others here know her and about her much more than I do but that was my impression of her - true enough, only based on one meeting though.

Some are (inevitably) speculating that she is lesbian, which may explain why she is unmarried into her 40s/50s in a church that pushes early marriage. My guess is that she is a strong independent woman and it's just really bad luck for her that she is a member of the Mormon Church, that doesn't as a rule uphold such qualities in women. I don't find that a majority of men seem to like independent women (in my experience anyway). It's as if independence is not comfortable or predictable and therefore not as desirable - I'm not sure. But that's even more so the case in Mormonism, where obedience is a high ideal. If you are an obedient female you get married young, breed multiple children and look after the home. Sheri got on with her life which to date hasn't included marriage.

The fact that she has been given the high (female) callings she has is quite remarkable, given her single status, in a church full of very old men at the top that value the obedient homemaker ideal, which she is not.

But really - my question is about Dallin Oaks. She dated him? Really? For how long?

In JW land, where I dwelled for a few yrs back in the day, they are very strict about dating. Basically, there is no casual dating allowed. The principle is that a guy isn't even supposed to ask you out unless he is seriously interested in you as a potential wife. You are both supposed to decide within three dates whether you have that level of interest in each other or not. If not, you are supposed to stop dating. If so, you are supposed to proceed quickly to marriage (just as with Mormonism - where early marriage supposedly precludes pre-marital intimacy). JWs are far more strict in this regard than are LDS, apparently, as there is little to no opportunity to be alone where temptation can overcome you. There is no hand holding allowed unless you are very serious about marrying each other and chaperones are strongly encouraged in order to help you stay pure until marriage. You're not allowed to kiss even until you are engaged and even then only "chastely".

But wait - this is about Sheri Dew. I'm not usually a gossip-monger but this one intrigues me. How would they have met? How long did they date? Who decided to break up? Was the other party broken-hearted?

Is there life after Dallin Oaks?

Channel surfing cable TV sites awhile back, I came across her introducing Merrill Bateman at a BYU Women's Conference in 1997.

She said, and I quote:

"President Bateman's list of accomplishments is as long as my leg and, as you can see, that's pretty long."

She paused, cleared her throat, raised an eyebrow slightly and smiled--but there was virtually no reaction from the audience.

For one thing, the audience couldn't even see Sister Dew's leg, since she was standing behind a podium and, moreover, what kind of kinky-kooky Mormon fantasy world does the pent-up Sister Dew live in, where she's imagining people gawking at her leg?

It was bizarre--and should have prompted a bishop's interview, on the spot. :)



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 03:00AM by steve benson.

OMH! cracking up here, like anyone would have throught THAT was funny, or maybe she was trying for sexy? Wow, so out of place!

perhaps some women should wear a burka, & sheri dew is one of them

At the upper management level, the Church is a politically savvy corporation. They know that they are managing a huge religious freakshow for fun and profit. Sheri Dew apparently is a highly proficient editor/writer and has made something of a cottage industry out of producing suckupological masterpiece biographies of notable high-ranking Mormon leaders and they have the polished look and feel of real books.

A lot of people often tell me that I'm too cynical when it comes to assessing the motivations of the General Authorities. I think I'm probably not cynical enough. People who think the General Authorities are generally very sincere in their beliefs and share with the common members the same faith in long-standing Mormon doctrines and teachings are often mystified and hard-pressed to explain some of the things that the "Brethren" do and say.

I see them as politically minded corporate managers, who know how to push the buttons of the sheep with platitudes, glad handing, and faux humility, when necessary, but are cold, calculating managers behind closed doors.

They need someone like Sheri Dew. Not only can she do her job well, such as it is. But her mere presence in what can be called the executive ranks of ChurchCo has probably been relied upon thousands of times deflect criticism of the Church on gender equality. She is of course the exception that proves the general rule, but just the fact that she's there means that they can at least momentarily take the wind out of the sails of harsh critics who start questioning why women can't have important leadership positions in the Church.

Based on a cold calculation, her political value in this non-traditional role outweighs the potential risk that her example will become a hindrance to the perpetuation of the Molly Mo ideal. And she does her part by always explaining that she tried really hard, but could never find the "right guy" (as though that explanation would be acceptable to the leaders when dealing with ordinary members). She's obviously very ambitious and, assuming she's hetero, it's quite unlikely that she would ever settle for any ordinary Peter Priesthood. A Huntsman, a Marriott or a Romney may have had a shot, but there aren't many of those to go around in ChurchCo circles (and they probably wouldn't want a high-profile ambitious wife anyway).

It's hard to find much of anything about her family background other than the vague descriptions of them being simple farmers, which plays into the classic, almost cartoonish "ambitious farm boy/girl works hard and makes it into the big time" narrative. I would be curious as to what possible insider family connections she may have on either her mother's side or father's side. But the information on her family background is so sketchy that it's hard to do anything but speculate on that.

I wonder if Dallin and Sheri ever kissed...eeeewwwwwww! Shudder.

rub his head.

I don't want to answer all your questions on the board for reasons I'll tell you if you e-mail me. But yes, I do know that Sherry and chrome dome dated. As someone else said, "eeeewwwwwwww." You can e-mail me off board if you want to know more. tennexmo@yahoo.com.

I agree with everything G.D. said - it's spot-on.

Wait a sec, having ignored mormondom for several decades I'm kind of out of the loop. So what happened to his first wife, and how did he meet and date the current one? I am assuming they will be polygamous wives in the CK?

He was president of byu when I was there. I always saw him as a mean creepy jerk.

Is Sherri Dew married?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 09:09AM by dr5.

Oaks' wife died of boredome (okay that's indelicate huh) and Sheri Dew is gay. I defy you to show me different.

Ron

She might be gay, she always seemed rather masculine to me, but they did date and she was the one that got dumped, that part of the story I remember well.

But like I said below, this was not first hand, so may be wrong. Don't think so.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 04:41PM by think4u.

What happened to that extra-sensitive ExMormonRon you were touting a few threads ago? :)

His first wife died, and Sheri has never been married.

Sheri Dew apparently is a highly proficient editor/writer and has made something of a cottage industry out of producing suckupological masterpiece biographies of notable high-ranking Mormon leaders and they have the polished look and feel of real books.

"suckupological masterpiece biographies"


The academically pretentious might use the term "hagiography" - but I think you've captured the essence much better :)

Oaks was Sheri's beard, right?

Ron

I'm laughing out loud at work!

Don't feel sorry for Sheri Dew, because she is unmarried, and because people joke about her. She's probably happier than any of the Mormon obedient housewives--and especially happier than Dallin Oaks' Wife Number Two.

I know several of those wives mentioned on this post, and Sheri Dew is at the opposite side of the spectrum. Oaks married the perfect gal for him, if she's the one who put together that finger-puppet book. Ron Poelman's Wife Number Two wrote a book, too. Marry a GA, and immediately write a book. It is a shoe-in to be published!

If Sheri is half as intelligent as she purports to be, she probably was the one who stopped dating Dallin. eeeeewwww.

In that case, good for her.

No, other way around. She was pretty hurt over it. I doubt they got along well as they both have very strong personalities.

I am with forestpal, she lucked out of that one, whether she sees that or not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 04:29PM by think4u.

I can't imagine how it would be fun or happy to be married to one of those stuffed shirts. Really.

I better just stop right there. Sometimes I say things that get me into trouble.

I wonder if they engaged in any "soaking"?

That is hilarious. My co-worker just asked me what I was laughing at.

Me: "Uh...nothing" (King Benjamin tries to look busy).

Yes, I can verify that they did date. I remember hearing all about it at the time, from someone I was once good friends with when I was TBM, now related to through our kid's marrying, and I believe it was her sister who worked closely with Dew who was telling her about it. I don't remember a lot but I was told they worked closely together on some board for Deseret Book, had known each other long before they dated. Pretty sure I have that right.

So, no, it was not first hand but a very reliable source. and I don't remember any details, just only that Sheri Dew was very sad about how it turned out.

She should count herself lucky, can you imagine married to that obnoctious, know it all of a man? Why would any woman want to marry him, well, if one is TBM ,the answer to that question becomes obvious, but I would not have done it if a gun were put to my head.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 04:27PM by think4u.

Nelson's second wife is his daughter's age, maybe even younger than that. My friend is TBM and horrified at the age difference.

This best friend and the only friend I have left in the church see's them trottin' around together all the time. Says it makes her sick.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2011 04:43PM by think4u.

I believe he was 82 when they got married and I think she's around my age (50s). But hey, it's a good plan for her if you ask me. She'll get rid of him in a few years, not have to worry anymore about who she'll end up with in the CK, and will have some good years to herself with her newfound notariety and surely some bucks.

Kind off topic, but my question is do you think Joseph Smith if he were alive would have married Sheri Dew? She's intelligent and makes good money. It would seem to be a wise business decision :)

Yes, Joseph Smith would have married Sheri Dew. He would have banged her once and then had a revelation requiring a joint bank account.

Sheri Dew dodged a bullet with DHO. She was PROTECTED.

Regarding to all of those on this post:

If this is what ex-mormonism is like then I don't want to be any part of it. Shame on you all for these comments. I'm sure you all well know the truth. Assuming you all still believe in a God, you should tremble down into your souls for His wrath will prevail! Sheri Dew's sexual orientation? Dallin H Oaks a polygamist? If it makes you feel better to throw around these very large accusations I feel bad for you. You can delete this comment, you can attack it, but I tell you this: You will know in your heart that you have spoken wrong, and I hope for you sake (and your families assuming you have them since you're condoning Sheri Dew for not having one), because I love you, that you come to know the truth and repent. It is apparent that your testimony in the Church was not based on Christ, but based on appearance, or another person. You need to find your true self and find the Gospel, for only there will you have true happiness, which I wish on all of you.

With all the love in the world,
Me.

Yes, this is what ex-mormonism is all about. Light mindedness, loud laughter and evil speaking of the lord's self-appointed.

Ain't it great?