Related to an earlier post - http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1849369. I'm still on the mailing lists, despite having both been "aged out" via marriage and later having gone inactive.

I just received an email that a recent convert was removed from the YSA mailing list. The Bishop has gone as far as to warn Members that any communication between said convert and the rest of the Ward membership had to first be channeled through him. The convert is a poor, young, black male from the "other side of the tracks." He was taught by the local missionaries, invited to participate in ward activities, embraced throughout his investigator process, and baptised three months ago. The problems started shortly after.

According to the ward leadership, he's been harassing the YSA girls. I can't vouch for this, and, given what I know about the leader, it may be completely overblown. What I do know is that in the past months since his baptism he's asked several local Utah transplants to date him. He quickly learned that Mormonism is not color-blind and class-blind and started to act out in inappropriate ways. As a result, several ward girls (including those who actively fellowshipped him) have complained.

I feel for the guy. He was set up to fail in the worst way possible. I went back to the old emails sent by the ward missionary committee. They talked about the need to help this man feel the spirit and decide to be baptised into the Church. I almost want to say to everyone "you've made the bed, now f-ing lie in it!"

Yes, the black folk can join the church, but we can't have them dating the white women!

Sigh.

"Yes, the black folk can join the church, but we can't have them dating the white women!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M

+100 :)

The same thing could have happened to a poor, young, uneducated white male. I lay the blame on the mission system and the "dunk and report" mentality. The missionaries have huge disincentives to screen people for sincerity, teach them about sex and marriage, and get them socialized into typical Mormon behavior before they're baptized. Let someone else do it, we just want the stats.

Some missionaries promise great things to their prospects that no ward, no person could possibly satisfy. The result is strong adverse selection for the neediest, greediest, and most narcissistic people. And some, I assume, are decent people as well, but all the incentives lead missionaries to cultivate people who will be huge burdens on everyone. The ridiculous, misinformed, and self-absorbed missionary program is destroying the church, and faster than anyone could have anticipated.

Fellowshipping is a double-edged sword. He probably thought that the girls were sincere in their friendship.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fellowshipping is a double-edged sword. He
> probably thought that the girls were sincere in
> their friendship.

^^^ this ^^^

So the OP should befriend him. It is not uncommon for bishops in YSA to reassign members to family wards in the interest of "protecting" others. I think the basis is that a family ward is better equipped to help the person grow their social skills, but it feels awful to the person involved, and family wards may not be any more accepting of people who are different. (This may not be connected to skin color at all --- it has happened to people from all backgrounds and skin colors.)

Can't say I've ever seen this. I'd think that the family ward would be far more isolating. In addition to being an older crowd more set in their traditional beliefs, being surrounded by married couples and their kids I'd imagine would be a constant reminder of how you've "failed" in life.

I knew a guy back in my YSA days, he was about 30 when I met him and since he had some mental handicap he didn`t hold down a job or really have anything else to do but hang around the institute building from opening till close and when they had a dance or social event he was the first one there. He got alot of complaints of some herassment against him too but they let him hang still.Finally they had enough after he corned some girl in a dark classroom and they got after him to start attending more family ward type activities ha but he would still sneak into the dances, finally some big ex cop leader put the fear of god into him that he should stop attending YSA events and I don`t think he had stepped foot in a chapel since

I do believe that racism plays a role. The poor Hispanic converts usually assimilate well from what I've seen. Despite having different economic upbringings, they have a shared cultural connection with the other members of their Spanish-speaking wards. Not the case with an urban black kid trying to mesh with youth from the suburbs of SLC.

I bet you dollars to donuts he made a comment about the cute girls and the missionaries, to get him baptized, told him they would date him after he was a member. I saw that on my mission. To get young men baptized the missionaries commented on the cute girls and said once they are a member the girls will date them. Flirt to convert. It is just sad.