Despite going inactive, I'm still close friends with several active members, and I'm still on all the mailing list. I occasionally attend non-Church sponsored events like getting ice cream or watching a sports game (and depending on which member is present, we'll even share a round of beers!).

Whenever there's an announcement of an upcoming baptism, I typically engage in some mild FB stalking. Nothing creepy. I just want to understand the "who" and "why." What unfulfilled need does that person have that they believe the Church will satisfy. Our ward gets its usual share of economically downtrodden folks from broken families desperate for basic human interactions. But every now and then, someone shows up who "fits the mold" so to speak. They have a job. They have family and a social life. They're technologically saavy and clearly have access to information. They appear to think rationally. Those are the most curious cases to me.

Looking through their online photos, I also take note of the many things they seem to enjoy but will undoubtedly be pressured to give up. The Starbucks drive-through. Happy hour drinks with coworkers. A sexy black dress.

Thoughts? What has been your reaction to converts who appears totally well rounded?

Even well-rounded people have needs. In my mother's case, she was very ideologically driven toward finding a better way, a better world. She thought the Church would provide that.

My father is a regular guy but also a narcissist. The Church offered him the illusion of authority and importance. Among the societal driftwood that typically composes a European Mormon congregation, even an average guy can be king.

An important insight of modern sociology of religion is that cult members are not hapless victims. In most cases, their reasons for joining a cult are completely rational from their point of view. Their desires and dreams can be more fully met inside the cult than outside.

"societal driftwood"

That is one of the best descriptions I have read. It equally applies to the rural South..

Gatorman

Having converted only a few years before college age, I chose BYU for my education because I sought safety. In my home state I had always planned on attending the university where my parents attended. But during my youth I saw violent demonstrations against the Vietnam war. Streets were closed on campus. Businesses boarded up after being attacked. I was not even being allowed by my parents to go on campus when we visited. Those experiences stuck in my memory as a child.

BYU seemed a haven of safety and normalcy. I have to admit, I mostly enjoyed my years at BYU. But coming from the midwest I was not prepared for the culture. The whole Stepford mentality drove me crazy. I longed for a student forum where I could freely speak my mind about women's rights, ERA, and current events in the nation. Instead I heard only discussions about missionary experiences, engagement plans, and church activities. I couldn't wait to leave Provo and almost transfered out except it would have cost a lot of money and time lost on religion credits.

New converts really don't know much about Mormonism at all, especially if they are converted outside of Utah. I had a misconception that I was simply joining a very moral and straight laced form of protestantism from the sanitized missionary discussions. The full Mormon faith was revealed to me very slowly. At times I thought people were just pulling my leg when they told me about certain teachings and traditions in Mormonism. Later, when I realized how seriously the Mormons in Utah took their religion I became a little fearful. I knew right away I could never marry a Mormon who was not a convert because he would never understand my thinking about life. Soon I realized I could never marry a Mormon period.

Converts are treated with kid gloves before baptism. When they show fear or concern about Mormon teachings it is quickly glossed over and they are reassured that all is well. But, of course, there are some who fit in with the dogma just fine. Those who fit in right away scare me. I can't imagine finding Mormonism desirable unless you are a misfit in the real world.

levantlurker Wrote:
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> Looking through their online photos, I also take note of the many things they seem to enjoy but will undoubtedly be pressured to give up. The Starbucks drive-through. Happy hour drinks with coworkers. A sexy black dress.

Probably a fair number of them won't last for very long. My theory for those who stay is that some people need a highly controlling environment. Mormonism is like baby swaddling for adults.

It fascinates me as well. It's incredible that people who aren't lacking something significant (most likely are, but what?) and are intelligent, unbiased adults, can join the church. Joining requires you look at history from their perspective and only their perspective. Until you're IN, how do they convince you to do that?

The church controls what truth you hear, and when you hear it. They choose what are "unimportant truths," and leave those out. They direct the conversation from beginning to end, with no deviation, for maximum conversion potential. It's easy to see how it works on someone who WANTS to believe it.

It's unbelievable that it works on someone who is unbiased and objective. They're the minority for that reason, but it happens. The tragedy is the church has the least to offer someone who is already happy, and the most to take.