Those old LDS dirges are getting a little worn out, am I right?

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for our Sunday hymnals:

"Joseph Smith Had A Thing For My Daughter"
"If You're Gay, Go Away (Unless You Pay)"
"Take The Temple Bait If Your Tithe's Up To Date"
"You Need Atoning For (Trust Us)"
"No You Can't See Our Financial Records"
"Tell The Bishop All Your Nasty Habits"
"Satan Drinks Double Espressos"
"Dunking For Jesus"

Put Your Hand in the Hand of the Man Who Liked Whoopie!

Jerk Said the Little Factory, Jerk for Me, Jerk for Me!

Oh Kolob, I Long to Near You, Go Away You Temporal Body, Oh Kolob, You Celestial Body, Away, I've Come Away, Past the Wide Universe I See.

Praise to the man who we know as Lucifer
He wore the clothing and showed it to us.
Then he commanded us to put on these aprons
Everyone obeyed and put on robes & aprons.

Don't praise us since we followed the evil
We took our directions from the one that was cast out
Now we wear baking hats and veils over our faces
and stand in a circle saying pay, play, ale.

If I Could Hie unto Costco
High on a Mountain Top with a Camel between my Fingers
Brigham's Brew Makes Me See Two of You
Boyd K. Packer Hates You All

HERS I'd like to see/ here (done with hims): This Is Happiness - exmormon.org!

We Thank Thee Oh God for our Profits.

We Are All Enlisted for tithing settlement

Sweet Is the Work at City Creek

Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise at fourteen

Do What Is Right and shun

Called to Serve and make a pack mule of me

Abide with Me and Hide the essays

1. If you could hate from Kolob
In the spurning of gays,
And then continue onward
With that same need that preys,
Do you think that you could ever,
Through all eternity,
Find out the generation
Where hate began to be?
2. Or see the grand beginning,
Where hate did not pretend?
Or view the last emotion,
Where tears and laughter end?
Methinks the Spirit whispers,
"No man has found 'pure hate,'
Nor seen the outside curtains,
Where gays have a place."
3. The works of hate continue,
And worlds their lives make frowns;
Imprisonment and aggression
Have one eternal round.
There is no end to haters;
There is no end to hate;
There is no end to spite;
There is no end to chase.
4. There is no end to curfew;
There is no end to fright;
There is no end to fear from;
The ending of the light.
There is no end to unicorns;
There is no end to proofs;
There is no end to beasthood;
There's bliss to bend the truth.
5. There is no end to gory;
There is no end to shoves;
There is no end to reeling;
From the dying up above.
There is no end to boring;
There is no end to grubs;
There is no end to eating;
There are no gays above.

These are hilarious - except the really sad ones :-(

I can't think of a really uplifting, really joyous, or intentionally funny hymn.

But I guess Jesus didn't laugh much?
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1808343,1808343

Pictorial evidence of him laughing.
https://www.pinterest.com/explore/jesus-laughing/

MTC singing Stairway to Heaven followed by Highway to Hell!

RB

Put your shoulder to the power equipment, drink some Kolob.

http://imgur.com/swrUfec

I've watched the above gif like 50 times and I'm crying.

that's hilarious!

RB

I can't stop watching--I'm peeing myself here!!

High on the mountain top

High on Cumorah hill,
A man buries his face,
into his hat with a stone
to find fictious plates.
Some black magic rites,
and supposed dead angels,
Too bad it was a lie,
He duped us all.