I saw this in another forum yesterday. This poster said he attended Elder Holland's meeting with missionaries the other day (Las Vegas missionaries). This quote gives quite a bit of insight to Elder Holland's personality. Among the gems in his post:

"Elder Holland said that in his 27 years as a General Authority, he has become more serious with the passage of time, as he nears his meeting with the Savior to account for his work on His behalf. He made the following observation of the Savior: "We don't have a single reference to Christ laughing. We have quite a few references to Him crying." (That is not to suggest that the Savior did not enjoy life, only that once His ministry began, He was very serious about His work.)"

1) Did Our Savior masturbate or just have wet dreams, Elder Jowls?

2) Who'd you like better - Ginger or Mary Ann?

3) Does President Monson know what state Utah is in?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2016 08:03AM by tenaciousd.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2016 08:28AM by cricket.

Holland seems to be determined to suck every last bit of joy out of life. That is his calling, apparently.

Looking back over my life, the wisest and most Christ-like people I've known have had a sense of humor. They were able to laugh at life, and at themselves.

Laughter is the great balm. We need more of it, not less.

Whenever Holland speaks, you can bet that whatever he says, the opposite is the truth of the matter.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2016 09:09AM by ellenl.

posting today Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> He made the following observation of the Savior:
> "We don't have a single reference to Christ
> laughing. We have quite a few references to Him
> crying." (That is not to suggest that the Savior
> did not enjoy life, only that once His ministry
> began, He was very serious about His work.)"


Ummm??? The Gospel of Judas referenced in multiple texts from the Nag Hammadi library states, "Jesus Laughed" many times. So Holland is incorrect and ignorant of other gospels and creeds.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Judas
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5327692

Imo...the scriptures both old and new are rather a worthless guide in life...hyperbole...confusion...opinions...some not bad ...some really just radical and ridiculous...take Paul....please!!...for a guy quoted and read so much he appears to me to be a delusional mysogynist nut job...religeon in general seems to cause the hatred and division seen in the world today...stoning...judgement...destruction...death cult thinking....just as mormons gather all fresh faced at conference to suck up the will of gawd from leaders with nothing to offer but pleasant little anecdotes or scathing verbal lashings...the scriptures are really nothing but the same just from old timers from long ago...just as damaged...deranged...mislead...years ago i decided it was all just opinions...and some just really poor...i can make my own opinions and they be just as valid as jowls holland...guaranteed...what a sad angry little boyd clone...ymmv

"He made the following observation of the Savior: "We don't have a single reference to Christ laughing."

Sounds like a good reason to not worship Jesus. As we say here in the south, "F*ck him if he cain't take a joke."

Hmmm, I guess he's right - there are NO references to Christ laughing.

I wonder who took them out.

Either that, or Christ wasn't a real person.

Lol...exactly.

"Either that, or Christ wasn't a real person."

Bingo!

They love to be miserable. Then they have the audacity to say they are happy and the church brings joy.


That old Protestant mindset to be all constipated because somewhere, someone might be having fun is still ingrained. I like how they use Jesus to enforce it.

Don't party with Jesus. He sounds fun hanging out with his 12 guy-friends, but he's a crier.

Just when you start to think Mormonism can't possibly become any more bizarre asswipe Holland proves otherwise.

Mr. Jowls like to say one thing to the masses of morons, but do differently in his own life. Here is a quote he gave in an university address one time about he and his son:

"What I cherish in my relationship with Matt is that he is, along with his mother and sister and brother, my closest, dearest friend. I would rather be here at this priesthood meeting tonight with my son than with any other male companion in this world. I love to be with him. We talk a lot. We laugh a lot. We play one-on-one basketball"

Hmmmn..."we laugh a lot." You're an f'ing hypocrite Mr. Jowls.


Here's another quote Mr. Jowls forgot he made:

"We could remember that even with such a solemn mission given to him, the Savior found delight in living; he enjoyed people and told his disciples to be of good cheer. He said we should be as thrilled with the gospel as one who had found a great treasure, a veritable pearl of great price, right on our own doorstep. We could remember that Jesus found special joy and happiness in children and said all of us should be more like them—guileless and pure, quick to laugh and to love and to forgive, slow to remember any offense."

So which is it Mr. Jowl's, does Jesus not laugh or is he quick to laugh? You're a dumbass Mr. Jowls.

That was a good find Exmoron. I have to archive this as an example of the consistent contradictory talks given by GA's. Mormonism creates insanity when attempting to follow its rules and guidelines of the moment and GA teachings.

It's like they don't have a staff to write their speeches and fact-check in advance. For a multi-billion dollar corporation, they should hire a few PR and policy folks who know what they're doing.

Or maybe the GAs just don't listen to the staff?

Holland is the Mormon equivalent of a very prominent presidential candidate who likewise needs to think before he speaks.

LIKE!

Good research, ExMoron

If I was his PR guy, I'd tell you that he was referring to the need to be serious when doing missionary work (his audience was missionaries, I believe). : )

(To the tune of, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"):

You're a dumbass, Mr. Jowls
You really are a dupe!
Your brain is filled with dodo feathers,
Your heart with week-old soup,
Mr. Jowls--
You're a three-decker marshmallow-and-seerstone casserole
With hypocrite sauce!

You're a dumbass, Mr. Jowls
Your chins all flap along!
You're a bag of unwashed temple clothes,
You're a dirge-like closing song,
Mr. Jowls--
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
"Sink, sank, sunk!"

Laughing is a natural expression of happiness or joy. Is he suggesting they must be unhappy to do their jobs correctly? He should seek some therapy.

What are these guys drinking? The more people that leave the church, the more weird the leaders become.
No wonder the members are so strange. They are listening to this drivel and becoming just like them.

As a side note, I read an article, many years ago about Jesus's sense of humor. The only part I can remember is the notion of a camel going through the eye of a needle was quite humorous!

An old (as in ancient) Jewish man never laughed? That's a laugh at the revelatory powers of an old jowlish man.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2016 01:14PM by Elder Berry.

Giving each of them a lifetime of guilt for being happy.
What a fucker!

Arrogant asshol-ery.

Well, if he's comparing himself to Jesus, how about turning water into wine?

No mentions of these that I recall:

Jesus burping or other bodily functions
An accounting of a TYPICAL meal Jesus would eat
What a normal day was like for Jesus
Jesus singing? I don't believe so.
Jesus wearing special clothing or garments
List of local people Jesus did NOT heal or reanimate
Jesus at work - other than his mission work
Jesus giving his mom a hug and telling her that he loves her
Did he ever use oil when healing the sick?
Young Jesus playing with other children

I mean, there are all SORTS of things that might not be mentioned that, if he existed at all, he might have done. But as Dydimus indicated, there apparently ARE records of him laughing.

Wow -- I guess there is no question now as to who took over for Boyd KKK Packer -- I thought his shoes as an a$$hole would be hard to fill.

All too easy for the 15 morg-leaders.

There are many references to Jesus and children. If He spent time around kids, there would be loud laughter!

Can't believe I'm quoting from a fraudulent literary work but:

"Man is, that he might have joy," Elder Holland.

Hopefully his statements will lead more people out of the church.

It is easier to convince unhappy people they are persecuted.

This just in: Loud laughter and light-mindedness can be good for you.

But his comments are so laughable.

This dangerously close to laughter:
https://ldsbookstore.com/liz-lemon-swindle-let-the-children-come?feed=Froogle&gclid=Cj0KEQjwr5G5BRD_n-T0pf7x4ucBEiQAlxHOP7CWJySKF67jiCfAiCRQ9wwwoIYXxG2FOBDDVaSeFD8aAhZM8P8HAQ

Brigham Young said, "But I pause here, and for this reason—I want it distinctly understood, that fiddling and dancing are no part of our worship. The question may be asked, What are they for, then? I answer, that my body may keep pace with my mind. My mind labors like a man logging, all the time; and this is the reason why I am fond of these pastimes—they give me a privilege to throw everything off, and shake myself, that my body may exercise, and my mind rest. What for? To get strength, and be renewed and quickened, and enlivened, and animated, so that my mind may not wear out. Experience tells us that the most of the inhabitants of the earth wear out their bodies without wearing their minds at all, through the sufferings they endure from hard labor, with distress, poverty, and want."--JOD Sect1 D4.
http://journalofdiscourses.com/1/4

So it's God's way of giving us relaxation and comparison for somberness, reverence, etc... So by Holland stating, "Don't laugh", he's going against BY's command/explanation.