Sung to the tune, "Frosty the Snowman"

"Joseph The Conman"

Joseph the conman was a lying cheating rat,
With a dowsing rod and a sheepish grin
And two peep stones in a hat.

Joseph the conman was a for profit, they say,
He was full of sh!t as apostates know
How he had a vision one day.

There must have been some L-S-D in
That old silk hat he found.
For when he placed the peep stones in
Gold plates were in the ground.

O, Joseph the conman
Was horny as he could be,
And the women say he could grope and play
With other men's wives whoopee.

Joseph the conman
Was with Fanny in the grass,
So he said, "Let's run
I thinks he's got a gun
Now before he shoots my ass."

Joseph the conman
Had to hurry on that day,
But he waved Missouri goodbye,
"Saying don't you cry,
I won't be back again, no way."

...Excellent! With some very minor tweaking, this could be a big hit sung by a choral group of ExMo's at Temple Square @ Xmas time!!

...add a french horn, bells, etc., for extra punch!!

Record and put in on you tube!

I also did a version (last year) of the 12 days of smithmas as sung by Joseph and a version sung by Emma.
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,736557,737062#msg-737062

Who knows what else my brain will think up at 2 in the morning. Maybe we can get an entire song book.

...possible album titles.

" A Moronic, Masonic, Mormon Xmas"

" Hilarious and Heretical LDS Hymns for the Holidays"

" Joseph's Mythical, Musical Mis-Adventure"

" Lyrics, Lunacy and the Latter-Day Saint"

" Mormon Myths Made Famous; Set to Music"

" Joseph and Brigham's Bawdy Barroom Ballads"

" Latter-Day Saint Love Songs"...from the Prophets of Today"

" Sidney and Joe's "Love for Lechery" Songbook"

" A Colorado City Christmas"...featuring the Warren jeffs Incarceration Quartet"

Good one. LOL

There should be a Smithmas cartoon special too.