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Posted by: drjubhut ( )
Date: February 02, 2013 02:52PM

1. I didn't know you could be a mute and serve a mission. I don't think I heard him utter three words to me the whole time we were together. If it wasn't for prayers and an occasional discussion I wouldn't have known he could speak at all.
2. My introduction to church politics. This guy proudly announced to me that his number one priority was going to be advancing up the DL,ZL,AP ladder. He then proceeded to lie, backstab, pad numbers and generally butt kiss his way to the top. Funny, things haven't changed since then.
3. An average guy from SLC, thought he was something special because he lived on the same street as a GA. Can't complain because we got along well.
4. Zl from a part member family who couldn't come on a mission until he graduated from college. He was sure to remind us of this at every opportunity. Too bad he didn't learn something useful there.
5. The worst month of my life on this planet was spent with this psycho. He was genuinely mentally ill and was taking so many differant medications he didn't even know where he was half the time. Of course my concerns were always met with the standard "you just need to work harder Elder". How this guy ever had his papers approved I will never know. I finally packed my things, called a cab, and went to the mission home, essentially transferring myself.
6. I guess as punishment for my autotransfer I was sent out in the middle of nowhere to a guy my MP said would "straighten me out". I was definitely impressed with the con job this southern utah boy hatched. The only thing this guy was interested in had a skirt on it. I don't think we ever taught a discussion to anyone but widows, divorcees and teen age girls. I knew this was not going to end well when i woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he wasn't there. I was right.
7. I was sent to the other end of the mission after the last fiasco ended with us closing the city and the $£€#%& hitting the fan. This guy from Oregon was the best companion anyone could want. Low key, common sense, and a genuine love of the gospel and the people we taught. I could have spent the rest of my mission in that peaceful little town with him. A genuine brother in Christ.
8. MP said this Elder had a problem with evil spirits and I was "the one who could straighten him out". I knew I was in for a long hard road when I saw him take a flashlight to bed.
I had just turned out the lights and was laying down when the flashlight comes on and he said "what was that noise?". I said, "I just farted, now go to sleep and don't bother me again".
9. Very wierd SLC kid who did nothing but talk about his girlfriend he was going to marry in the Temple as soon as he got home. He received a letter from her EVERY DAY. One day he didn't get his daily letter and freaked out. He was wound so tight over this, he wasn't worth a hoot as a missionary from then on. The dear john came about six weeks later. I've never seen a grown man cry that long and that hard since.

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Posted by: praydude ( )
Date: February 02, 2013 04:59PM

My second mission companion drank bottles of Robitussin AC (one could purchase these over the counter in the Philippines) and was incapacitated for days at a time. He admitted to selling his body for gay sex and for having fathered a child before his mission. I figured he must have lied to go on his mission and it made me wonder how "inspired" mission calls were.

For the most part my mission companions were good guys. I only had the one problem companion, though he was with me for six months. Apparently I was the only one who could stand him. I didn't mind the freedom that having a few days a week with no pressure to do anything but hang out with the stake missionaries or make dinner.

I found out later that my AP's were sent home because they found hookers and got laid. I'm sure they were banished from the kingdom for good. It seems terrible to put young, horny guys out in the mission field and then expect them to never have sex or even masturbate. No wonder Utah has the highest use of porn in the U.S.

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Posted by: citizen not logged in ( )
Date: February 02, 2013 05:07PM

Maybe I was that comp from OR--where did you serve?

Mostly kidding... But it does prompt me to wonder what my companions would say about me. I will post later with details about my own peeps.

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Posted by: tig ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 08:13AM

1. Native of the country in which I served. Generally a good guy. I had to follow the rules that he liked, but we could bend the ones he didn't. Sound familiar?
2. Son of a former mission president and current first quorum of the 70 member. Remarkably even keeled. More of a go along to get along kinda guy. Liked him.
3. Native of the country I served in. Fun and funny, but liked anything in a skirt.
4. OMG! Native of the country I served in. Nearly beat the living shit of of this guy more times that I care to remember.
5. Bat Shit Crazy. Seriously. I liked the guy, but he was certifiable. He should never have been sent out, and it is lucky he made it home alive. He because suicidal. Not cool. I was told to just pray for him, yeah right. We finally got him sent home to get care, and his recovery was a long time coming. Glad it worked out for the best, but LD$ leadership and management did nothing but harm him.
6. One served with him for 2 weeks due to the emergency transfer of companion #5. More bent than a paperclip. He went home after his 2 years and married a previous boy friend. Good for him, but you have to wonder how his leaders missed it...I knew inside of an hour, and after we talked abit he confided the truth to me. I just looked at him and said so? We got along great, but I'm not sure why he even stayed out.
7. Cool guy, and the only companion from Utah that I got along with really.
8. Duuude. California boy, with a proper surfer attitude, but completely TBM. I mean real kool-aid drinker. His parents sent him health food every month. Cost more to ship than the price of the groceries. Last I hear he was a stake president of some such.
9. Only came on a mission because grandpa insisted so he could inherit. Didn't believe any of it. Would rather play his guitar. I should have listened to him more.
10. #7 again. Not bad.
11. Favorite companion. We worked and had fun at the same time. Fastest two months of the mission.
12. His dad passed away while he was on his mission, a months before I served with him. He wasn't ALLOWED to go home.
13. Crazy scotchman. Convert from the salvation army...seriously. Absolutely around the twist. Fun though.
14. Oh Heck. He said that all the
15. Uncle Sam's Misguided Children. We got along great. We just did what we wanted, had some success, and spent time enjoying the people, scenery, history, and culture in which we served.

All in all, I didn't have it too bad.

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Posted by: justrob ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 10:47AM

1) Adrenaline junkie from CA. Very bored with the mission, & bugged that I wanted to work so hard. Poor kid. I put him through hell.

2) Preppy kid from UT. Ladder climber who wanted to dunk anything that breathed and was over the age of 8. He was super blunt and offensive, but it led me to learn how to mask my nerdiness, which has served me well after the mission (the single biggest benefit I got from the mission [yes, that includes Spanish. I have never really needed Spanish, whereas fitting in at work has been priceless])

3) Average UT. Sent to me to learn how to work hard. I convinced him that he healed me from a sickness that was unto death (in reality I just put on a happy face and pretended not to be crazy ill). Sure enough, he started working hard. (Later when he retold the story, he said that his blessing ended with "Rise and be made whole" and I didn't correct him. Now it's mission lore, and my business partner still uses this as evidence that I know deep down that god healed me [I met my biz partner on the mission])

4) Repented Ladies Man from CA. Worked crazy hard, offended everyone, and constantly talked about how long each of his companions' penises were, but that his was longer. I declined several attempts for him to comparatively measure.

5) Perpetual Greenie UT. Though he had been in country for 3 months, he couldn't speak a lick of Spanish. I taught him rigorously, but even when he finished his mission he still couldn't speak. He just didn't have the capacity for language. He worked so hard that his feet were literally covered in blisters.

6) My Greenie AZ. Spoke spanish from having worked with a lot of Mexicans. We worked crazy hard, and he became AP after he'd been there for only 6 months.

7) Meek & Mild CA. This Elder was so soft spoken, that our time together passed instantly and without incident. I have very few memories of what even happened during our time together.

8) Skater Dude ID. We had a lot of fun, and we worked hard. This is one of the few times where I truly enjoyed my mission, rather than convincing myself that I was enjoying it.

9) Trunky Skater Dude CA. He had 6 weeks left. I let him be trunky, because I quickly realized I couldn't stop it. But he still worked, so I didn't mind so much when he'd go to a members house to watch some skating video. But his parents came and hung out with us for the last few days... so nothing got done then.

10) Trunky introvert UT. We were gonna go home at the same time, but he went home 2 weeks early with most of the others to catch the beginning of school. He didn't like to talk to people, but I forced him to a lot.

11) Didn't know he was gay, Peru. I only had 2 weeks left, so I put this guy through the paces. I made sure he knew every nook & cranny of the area. Then I caught him trying to take a picture of me in the shower. I yelled at him, and he tried to pretend like it was all just a joke, and showed me that he had an album of all his companions in the shower. I probably would have made a TBM fuss, but I only had 1 day left, so I just ignored it.

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Posted by: karriew ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 10:54AM

From above, "9. Very wierd SLC kid who did nothing but talk about his girlfriend he was going to marry in the Temple as soon as he got home. He received a letter from her EVERY DAY. One day he didn't get his daily letter and freaked out. He was wound so tight over this, he wasn't worth a hoot as a missionary from then on. The dear john came about six weeks later. I've never seen a grown man cry that long and that hard since."

In my TSCC days, there were girls I knew from the ward who would 'confess' undying love for their missionary boyfriends and would promise, upon their return, to marry them.

Usually, a few months later, there they would be, new BF in hand. I would always ask about the old boyfriend, and usually get dirty sneers or looks.

Maybe it is the way some people are 'wired' but I just could not 'sleep around' (even though I was on the pill) like some of the supposed 'vestal virgins' at my old ward were doing.

I'm no longer a TBM, but I still can't understand why some of these girls would lead on guys that way. They send off "Peter Priesthood" to do his 'divine calling' (even though it is a crock of bull), lead them on and dump them at a time when their lives are probably not going very well.'

Now, I will go off topic. Even though I think TSCC is a crock, lowering the missionary age is really 'dumb.' Maybe I should not care.

It was a while ago but some of the guys I knew (not biblically just my interaction) were not equipped emotionally to be put in circumstances like a mission. I don't think they would have been good to have joined the army/navy either.

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Posted by: amos2 ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 11:27AM

I was even impatient with my trainer.
The only comp that got a break from me was my second, because neither of us was the "senior comp". We were equal in seniority and neither of us was a DL/ZL.
And, I had girlfriend-back-home issues and almost quit my mission. He LOVED it when we had to spend 3 days at the mission home while the MP pursuaded me to stay.
But then I became uber-obedient. My third comp asked for splits with other companionships three times a week to get away from me.
I'd find out later they went to the mall, or to his favorite member's house to hang-out (they had an 18-19 year old daughter).
After that, I was senior comp my WHOLE mission. DL, ZL, trainer, but never AP.
All of my companions and many of the missionaries in my districts and zone expressed "uncle" in some way.
I was overcompensating for 1)past sins and 2)my impending dear-John. When my GF broke it off I worked even harder.
We worked ALL day, up on time, stuck to the schedule, made phone calls all through lunch, tracted if we didn't have a dinner appointment, only stayed an hour if we did, always worked until kerfew, never took a day off, never did P-day stuff except on P-day, ended P-day on time in the pm...
...The worst part was that I nagged low-performers and unenthusiastic missionaries.

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Posted by: Inverso ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 11:42AM

Wow, this was long enough ago that I have to answer just to test my memory... and it's not working. No way I can remember them all. Here are a few I do...

0) All of my companions were Mexican nationals.

1) Only with him a week... nice enough, got me over the first wave of culture shock and had a good balance that let him put people and relationships over strictly following rules.

2) Friendly but obese guy who had no sense of smell and tried to get me to sniff his shirts to see if they were clean. We were robbed at knifepoint one week and then with a gun the next week in almost the exact same spot so the transfer out came sooner than it might have otherwise.

3) A red-haired guy from central Mexico. Everyone thought he was from the US and that I was the Mexican. He had to deal with my PTSD.

4) A guy from one of the toughest neighborhoods in Mexico City - talked in his sleep to the point you could have conversations with him. Hung out in his PJs in our landlady's bedroom every morning chatting. He escaped from his new district after his transfer and came back for a visit.

5) Right after (4) was the guy I fell in love with. We got along very well, obviously. We actually worked pretty hard and taught some good lessons even though we were messing around with each other at home.

6) Cute guy with curly hair who was stuck with me after I confessed to having sex with (5) and transferred to a small mining town with no bus service. Very cool, hard worker but enjoyed cultivating relationships with members.

Wow, I'm going to have to go back to the journals and figure out who's missing. Or not. This is probably enough to trigger nightmares :)

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 02:22PM

I've been mugged before at gun point in DC. It took me a long time to get over it, and I was scared to walk around alone for year after that.

I think if I'd been mugged twice in a week I would be on my way home.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2013 02:22PM by axeldc.

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Posted by: Inverso ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 02:47PM

It has been 29 years since the muggings happened and I still get moments of light panic when I find myself in a similar setting. And when people approach me in the dark on a sidwalk, I know exactly where their hands are at all times....

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Posted by: dogblogger ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 12:17PM

1-MTC- Ut comp, very rigid. Complained that I didn't work hard enough and was pissed that I could speak the language, memorize, read fast and coast through and goof while he worked and struggled and didn't get "blessed". On the flight home, he commented that I was the best companion he had his whole mission.

2 Laid back, more going through the motions kind of guy. Didn't really train me, just let me adjust and go along with what was happening.

3 Rigid Texan who would continuosly sing songs about sex. Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, Fat Bottomed Girls and so on. Kept losing the key to the apartment.

4 Guy with a serious girlfriend back home. Had a wet dream every night. Wasn't spanking it either. his GF dumped him later in the mission.

5 Native who didn't want to be there. He went home a few months later, very early. He went through a lot of companions in an effort to find one who could fix him. None could of course.

5.5 finished the month with a convert from CA who I roomed with in the MTC. We mostly goofed around.

6 Another CA, with a bad luck syndrome. Bike accidents, breakdowns, cooking accidents. Don't know how he survived.

7 Computer sci-fi nerd. We got along great. Poor guy's a bishop now.

7.5 midnighted to replace a masturbator who made passes at his other comps and the bishops kid. City had more JW congregations than active LDS members. Just strange all around.

8 Another love bird. This one actually married his girl. Mostly drove around and visited people he liked to talk to. I sent him home.

8.5 Had a triple companionship for a while at the end here to balance out missionaries who were heading home. He was a total slacker (as was I mostly). We went to the Monsters of Rock concert.

9 UT wacko. Not there mentally. Should not have been on a mission. Dangerous to himself and others. I have scars. As noted above, no capacity for the language and very committed to following all the rules. Aspired to design airplanes.

10 Laid back Californian. Made for a smooth exit.

Only 1 and 7 are on the mission website. Makes me wonder how many have bailed on it all like me.

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Posted by: vastique ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 02:19AM

Okay. . I"m dying to know how you knew he had a wet dream every night.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

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Posted by: justrob ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 09:49AM

On my mission guys bragged about it, and would show off their Gs and compare whose puddle was bigger.

There were even contests to see who could have the most wet dreams in a single week/month and prizes for who won.

...I did not participate, but I also didn't try to stop anyone from having what they deemed to be fun.

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Posted by: Albinolamanite ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 12:58PM

Comparing wet dream sizes? You guys all make me so glad I never went. Plus, I would have banged the first young lady that showed any interest in me and would have been back home before supper time.

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 12:34PM

1) MTC Comp: I was friends with his sister before the MTC, so I thought we would be friends. He told other Elders that I hit on him. Okay, I am gay, but not interested thankyouverymuch.
2) First mission comp: couldn't speak French to order a ham sandwich. He got mad when I tried to teach him, since he was my "trainer". All he wanted to do was tract, which was easy for him since he couldn't understand all insults hurtled at us by people who wanted to be left alone for the evening.
3) good guy who was sick half the time I was with him. Instead of resting up, he would insist on going out and working in the winter rain, making him sicker. I'm not sure if he fully recovered our 2 months together.
4) German guy who resented Americans. He broke all the rules and when he become our ZL, he lectured us for staying out late, being too cozy with members, etc. Funny he didn't tell the other ZLs that all those complaints had been about him.
5) Favorite comp, great guy, knew how to dig me out of my mission long depression with silly jokes. We remained friends for a long time after the mission.
6) Guy from Logan who did not want to be there. He liked me because I didn't push him like his previous comps. We didn't get much done, but we had a good time.
7) Jerk who wanted to be GA, but being from a poor single mom, would never be one. He was not too bright, and struggled with French, but thought he was AP material and treated me like I was keeping him from becoming one.
8) Psychopath. He lied all the time about everything to anyone. I quickly learned that everything he said had to independently verified. He broke rules and then turned others in for breaking them. Once punched me because I overslept, while he slept in every other day we were together.
9) Guy from New Orleans. He was a gossip who liked to get you to open up so he could share your secrets with others. Wondered why I never talked to him after I heard what he had been saying about me.
10) Nice guy, none too bright. I had to manage his finances for him or else he would have starved the last 2 weeks of every month. I felt more like his older brother than comp. He was the male version of a sweet spirit.
11) Balding 19 yo guy from Idaho who wanted to be a florist. I spent my entire time with him trying to figure out if he were gay or not. We got along, but I was so eager to go home that I had a hard time focusing on being there.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2013 12:36PM by axeldc.

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Posted by: CA girl ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 01:07PM

MTC comp - had a chronic disease and her doctor wouldn't sign her mission papers so she found a doctor who didn't know her and lied her way through the physical. Health broke down in the MTC and they threatened to send her home. She went off to South America anyway and ended up coming come deathly ill after a couple of months.

Trainer - So trunky because she'd extended her mission a month because there were visa problems and the MP asked her to stay an extra month because so few sisters were coming in. We didn't like any of the same foods and ended up eating tortillas with tomatoes and tabasco sauce every single day.

Next I got stuck in a trio with a sister who HATED the girl she was training and stuck me in the middle. In her defense, everyone hated this sister but I didn't appreciate being in the middle of their drama.

Next sister never stopped talking. Never. The MP had had to transfer her every, single month because her comps couldn't stand her.

Then I got a native Spaniard who told everyone she had a metal plate in her head that set off alarms when she went through security at the airport - she had to carry a special card from her doctor explaining her metal plate in order to fly. She ended up going home early with health concerns and I was with the group of missionaries who took her to the airport. She sailed through security with no alarms - turns out she lied about the metal plate in her head. Who DOES that?

Then I had the sister who would sit out on the balcony at night, wearing her "Friends of Bats" ring, calling the bats to her because she loved them. She would only eat raw brownie batter. She had been out almost a year and refused to talk Spanish. She went home early on a medical too.

Thankfully, after that my companions were all great girls. One more situation like the above and I would have gone home on a psych discharge. Seriously - I had a lot of elders tell me how different I was the second half of my mission because I wasn't babysitting sister missionaries who probably never should have attempted a mission in the first place.

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Posted by: justrob ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 03:16PM

Wow. You sure got the grand experience of wacky comps.
I thought metal-plate liar was super weird... and then you mentioned bat girl.
Well, at least you have great stories for dinner conversation ;)

That's how I viewed all bad experiences on the mission- even life threatening ones. My companion would be shaking from a violent conflict, and I'd just try to cheer them up by laughing and saying, "That'll make for a great story when you get home. Those BYU co-eds are gonna listen to your tale on pins and needles."

It helped calm down some comps.
Others probably just responded like me: pretended not to be scared/upset/etc...

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Posted by: stbleaving ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 01:29PM

1. MTC - I was stuck with a distant cousin who I had successfully avoided at BYU. Very snobby, ED, a big gossiper and had always hated me because I wouldn't gossip with her. (Not that I don't love to gossip as much as the next person, but some things are off limits.) Ended up leaving the mission field in response to a proposal from her boyfriend. They got married quickly and last I heard they were hardcore jackmos.

2. My awesome trainer - from Scotland, down to earth, hard worker but took some of the stupider rules with a grain of salt, taught me some of the basic living skills that were crucial to living in the slums of a foreign country. Went home, married another RM and they left the church a few years later.

3. SIX MONTHS with my next comp. Has anyone else ever heard of such a thing? Most of the other sisters in the mission had either been comps with her or had made a fuss about her. She was one of the most seriously mentally ill people I've ever met and never should have been on a mission. She had several serious episodes of self-harm, which I reported the MP to no avail. Finally, I did what I should have done at the beginning and took her to a hospital. (We both got in trouble for that one.) She went to the mission home for the next couple of months, then went home on time. No idea what happened to her.

4. British comp who had sneering contempt for all Americans. My French was better than hers, which pissed her off (and my French wasn't that great). Other than her anti-Yank sentiments, she was alright. I developed a bad case of pneumonia while we were together and she took great care of me, including taking me to the hospital after the MP had said not to. Don't know what happened to her, either.

5. Great comp from Oregon, awesome cook, got mugged once and run over on her bike while we were together. I felt like total s*** about both incidents. She left the church about 10 years ago.

6. Greenie from Colorado, very very homesick and had doubts about the Book of Mormon which made it impossible for her to teach the discussions, had smuggled a Walkman into the field somehow. Served a full mission but went inactive immediately after getting home.

7. Another greenie, from southern UT, very gung ho, had some serious ethnic and religious prejudices. Seemed to have some FLDS leanings as well.

I often wonder what my old comps would say about me...probably that I used up all the hot water and that I was always wandering off. So far, at least four of us have left the church.

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 02:25PM

Sometimes if you get a comp that is hard to deal with, and you don't complain too much, they keep you together for a long time. You kept the MP from having to find someone else to put up with her, so she stuck you with her for 6 months.

I had a comp for 4 months. I would have been a lot more fond of him had he left after 3.

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Posted by: peregrine ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 01:41PM

1. Trainer who wrote his girlfriend everyday and thought his Japanese was flawless. It wasn’t til I got another companion that I realize how bad his Japanese really was.
2. Nice guy for a month and then he decided that he wanted to live in the mission home and spent everyday trying to be a AP
3. Complete whacko who though I was a weirdo for putting syrup on my pancakes. Really.
4. My first companion as a senior companion. Probably a pretty nice guy but I was so strung out with trying to live up to the expectations of being a senior companion that he probably thought I was quite a jerk.
5. Grandson of the current profit. Very laid back nice guy.
6. Rush Limbaugh’s love child. Talked about nothing but politics every single day. Arggggg!!!!
7. Rodeo cowboy. Really nice guy.
8. The used car salesman. My first companion as a ZL. Biggest test of my testimony was to see this guy sell the church like a used car and have it work more often than not. Got an emergency transfer when I told the Prez that I was gonna start acting like him if he left me there another week.
9. Nicest guy I ever met in Japan. Feel bad about not keeping in touch.
10. Older brother of a famous Japanese singer/movie star. I was completely invisible for the last two months of my mission.

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Posted by: Bamboozled ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 02:14PM

1. MTC - A guy I knew from high school. At first I was ticked off because my comp was a guy I knew from high school but I quickly came to appreciate it.
2. Trainer - Idaho boy. Totally by the book. No sense of humor. Believed in tracting by the spirit. We would be walking along and he would suddenly stop feeling that he was being inspired that we needed to go to a particular house or street. He couldn't speak a sentence to me unless it started or ended with "Elder".
3. SLC guy. I was with him for 4 months and never felt like we really knew each other. We got along but he was a jock and I wasn't. We never fought, we just peacefully coexisted. We did leave mission boundaries once to see a race.
4. CA guy. This guy could have been my twin brother. We had the same interests and got along great. We did sort of slack off a bit.
5. Native Brit. At first I hated this guy. He would relentlessly badmouth the USA and Utah missionaries. Eventually we became good friends when he finally admitted that he just liked tweeking Yanks and I discovered he was just fighting his own demons. Remain friends to this day.
6. S Jordan A$$-hole. I don't think I can write eloquently enough about how much I hated this guy. He was a weasely brown noser wanna be, seemed to make sport of having his wanger falling out of his G's all the time and had the most foul smelling flatulence i've ever encountered. It was constant. He would even jump out of bed throw back my covers and let loose on me. It was gag enducing. He knew I hated him and I think it bugged him. Once after an interview with the MP this comp asked me if the MP had asked about him. I lied and said yes, he thinks you might be gay.
7. Utah Valley Boy - This guy was the most socially awkward and inept companion I had. He was loud and inflexible. All of his previous comps hated him and I was put with him because I was such an easy going guy (so the MP told me). He had all kinds of issues but we reached a point where we got along OK. When he was transferred he told me I was his favorite companion and had made his mission worthwhile.
8. SLC guy and final comp. Got a long great. We started off a little rocky because he packed in alot of our investigators because he didn't think they were progressing fast enough.
Went to a few movies and he made my last month fun.

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Posted by: Brethren,adieu ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 03:36PM

Hamburg Germany mission-mid 80's-

-MTC Companion- a good guy from Park City, except for the fact that he was obsessed with doing as much temple work as he could in Provo before leaving for Germany. Every P-day was a negotiation with me, as I didn't want anything more to do with the temple at all, and he wanted to do at least 2 endowment sessions every p-day.
-A native of Austria who was a DL. He observed every mision rule to a T. We were out the door at 9 prompt every morning, back in the door at 9:30 on the dot every night. It drove me nuts. I learned after I transferred that he went crazy and had to go home.
-After the quazi-nazi DL, I had another Austrian comp in a tiny little village called Leer. Total opposite of my prvious comp. He was laid back, we had fun, hardly ever went door-to-door, we'd go on excursions to the coast and buy fresh shrimp on non-pdays. I was made a senior comp after this, and I firmly believed that going from one extreme to the other in companions with differing attitudes towards the rules meant that it was OK to be somewhere in the middle.
- I had an american comp w/ a german name, and he was quite proud of that fact. He would read the his name in the german english dictionary, and that was when he discovered and I learned what the german idiom was for "A little hanky-panky". A direct translation was "a little shepherd's hour." He had a really hard time and wanted to go home. He stuck it out while he was with me, but I have no idea if he finished.
-My last comp must have been quite the ladies man before his mission. He recieved a constant stream of mail from different women every day. I was jealous. Elderly women who were perfect strangers on the street would stop and compliment him and say how cute he was. He was actually pretty cool about it, though. He bought me a black forest cherry cake as a sendoff when i went home.

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Posted by: AnonRM ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 05:17PM

-MTC Comp-Utah kid, had insane nightmares and talked in his sleep. Completely backwards
-Trainer- Had 2 months left, we just listened to sports talk radio and hung out at members house.
-Hard worker but level headed guy. Got a long great and had fun despite the hard work. Also liked to read "Anti" books which was very strange at the time. Wonder if he is still in the Church.
-Lazy farm boy just waiting to go home. Sat at home all day, wanted to do nothing. Luckily was only 2 months, bored out of my mind.
-Crazy Utah companion. This guy was a nerdy Utah county boy that discovered some fun in So Cal. His first Kiss was in a strip club in Hollywood. We didn't do much work but had a lot of fun.
-Mentally Challenged Utah kid, He had a special job with the church before going on a mission. Was proud to say he got a 7 on the ACT and would raise the roof to the prophet in the middle of a discussion. He was a challenge but taught me to be more of a leader.
-Quiet nice kid. He was a good Mormon kid but refused to do our certification program, so was still a junior companion after 18 months. Funny because I think he is a lawyer now.
-Gay Utah companion-Very awkward kid who hated his dad. Wanted to be a AP but was gay and would admit things to me. I would always listen and not judge but then he started being very aggressive and trying to touch me. He then jumped in the shower with me and that was enough. Had to have an emergency transfer.
-Lazy SOB, He refused to do anything. He just wanted to lift weights and listen to Eminem.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 05:24PM

MTC Comp: Cool dude from San Diego, where I was going. We got along great, joked around, had a good time, and worked hard. He was very open-minded and I hope he's left the church by now. I liked him. At this point I very gung-ho.

Trainer: Very strict AP wannabe who was in the MTC with the mission president so he and his MTC companion were the president's favorites. His comp was the star of the mission so we went on exchanges a lot. They wanted to "groom" me to be the AP. I enjoyed watching an atheist make him cry like a baby.

2nd comp: Nazi from Idaho. I don't know what else to say. I have nothing good to say about this kid. I couldn't believe there were people who took themselves so seriously. This is when I started to loosen up.

3rd Comp: He was my senior comp but could not speak spanish at all. He was one of those dudes who is always happy on the outside but you could tell he was a hot mess on the inside but wanted to avoid the appearance of dissatisfaction with life. I was glad when that was over.

4th Comp: 1st time being senior comp to a kid everyone else thought you should DL by now. We worked pretty well together and had a decent time. I had street cred with the local cholos because of a friendship i'd been cultivating with some dudes down the block. My comp was scared shitless anytime we went to their house.

5th Comp: Wow. I laughed a little when I thought of this kid. 20, balding, no self-esteem, just... (sigh).

6th Comp: My best friend on the mission. This was the golden time. We worked hard, had success, but played harder and had so much fun. We bought Pocket PCs and the neighbors let us use their WiFi. We read books, listened to music, hung out on the beach, swam in the ocean, had the greatest time two cult members selling afterlife insurance policies can possibly have.

7th Comp: The traitor. I was DL and he was a military brat with a massive ego. We worked hard and all that but I still liked to have fun. He did too. Only it turned out he was ratting me out to the mission president. I got a call one night saying I was going to have a PPI at the zone conference the next day. My comp had been acting shady so I knew what was up. I'm a numbers guy, so I created some graphs showing how much my area had improved since I'd come in. The next day President Olsen tried yelling at me, guilting me, etc. I told him he's a glorified babysitter and I'm not from Utah so he needed to back up because I was a volunteer. I showed him the graphs and said the numbers don't lie and to leave me alone and let me do my job.

8th Comp: I'd been banished to the desert (Calexico) to be with a trunky elder who had a crush on a 15-year old back in the city. Still worked hard, but this was the toughest time. The kid was a total douche. Whatever.

9th Comp: I love this kid. I doubt he'd ever leave the church because of his dad but he was just a good guy. We focused a lot on exercise and I taught him to slow down and just enjoy life.

10th Comp: I was sent to my original greenie area (El Cajon) to be DL again. Guess who was my comp? #7. I couldn't believe it. But it was my last 6 weeks so I gave him a big f*ck you and spent half the transfer on exchanges. Still worked hard but had a great time. I was very "apostate" if you know what I mean and I definitely led a few elders down the rabbit hole. I like to fancy to myself that a bunch of them have left the church, but who knows? The ZL and I got alone because he only went on the mission because his dad promised to buy him a truck when he got back.

I hope I didn't forget anybody..

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Posted by: sundevil89 ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 06:32PM

This hard to remember because it is almost 20 years since I was in the mission:

1. Mexican national from Puebla, total dick. Lied about the stats and stole money from me (didn't figure it out until later).

2. Mexican national from D.F., great guy had a lot of fun. We got in trouble because or stats weren't as great as #1, MP didn't believe me when I said he lied.

3. Mexican national from Puebla, this guy was a bigger dick than #1. Ending up leaving him on the side of the street because he tried to power trip me (very long story) He would lie to his parents about being an AP, the day I left my mission (5 months early) he became one.

4. Mexican national from Sinaloa. Great guy, broke as many rules as we could. Every day consisted of playing soccer, videos games, and watching movies at some ladies house we ran into on the street.

5. Mexican national can't remember from where, we didn't get along. He was my first junior comp. He later told a buddy of mine that I taught him everything that he didn't need to know.

6. Mexican national from Chiapas. We didn't do anything. Both had girl friends and were later sold out by another missionary who suspected we did.

7. Demoted and sent as far away from the mission home as possible with another trouble maker mexican national. We were suppose to change things around after the "come to jesus talk" but did nothing. Slept in until 10, watched movies, sports, played basketball and soccer. Did not teach one person the 3 months we were together. We would send in fake names and stats to the AP. When the MP and AP decided to make the 12 hour drive to check on us we took them to homes we knew were abandoned and claimed our investigators weren't home.

8. About this time I had three companions in a month period and started to get sick of it. I started complaining about my asthma and the MP allowed me to call a LDS DR. I exaggerated my symptoms and was allowed to come home 5 months early with an honorable release.

After I came home the Church would call my mom about twice a week to check on when I would be able to head back it. I had already hooked back up with an ex girlfriend (never mo) and she threatened to tell them we were having sex if they tried to send me back. I didn't go back but I wish she would have, it would have saved me years trying to break free of the church.

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Posted by: lulu ( )
Date: February 04, 2013 07:19PM

LTM (MTC) Nice enough guy. Convert from CA. Pretty different for this small town UT guy. Nice chest. Had no idea why I cared.

1. Nice guy but pretty much a rule follower but so was I. I spoke really bad Spanish and he made me practice while we were walking around in the street. Now days I'd think that was a bit heavy handed but, hey, my Spanish got better. Never could have made it if I'd had a non-English speaking comp. Kudos to the the guys above me who had so many nationals.

He'd take a nap every afternoon instead of doing comp and personal study. But stopped later in in his mission when he became a DL.

We were in an upper-class neighborhood, cushy room and board. He used to say "wait until they transfer you to [name of the 3rd world country we were in]. When my 1st change came in, we had been on splits for the day so I had been out with another jr. comp. When we arrived back that night, Sr. comp. said "you've been transferred to [name of 3rd world country we were in] laughing.

That room and board place was later banned because it was, well, too cushy.

2. Next comp was a nice enough guy, certainly within normal limits for a Mormon missionary. I was way up in the mountains by then. Trunky but still worked, insisted that we stay out an extra 1/2 every night. Considering the altitude change I'd just been through it was a little rough.

He had been a wrestler. He made me push on his head every morning in different direction to strengthen his neck muscles.

When it was time for him to go home he insisted that he have his photo taken with him sitting on his big suitcases (showing he was "trunky").

He used to listen to really middle of the road pop music which although not outright banned was a bit questionable. I still remember some of the songs and have fond memories when I hear them now.

3. His replacement was real bland. Told me I wasn't "showing him much" meaning in the way of missionary skills. WTF? But we didn't say that back then.

4. Not sure who was next? The gay guy? Not that I really knew what that meant or that I was gay too. He was just annoying. He'd say, "I have to urinate." Who says "I have to urinate?"

That area was temporarily closed during the lag between missionaries going home in the summer and when their replacements would arrive 2 months later from having been in the LTM (MTC).

5. 2nd cushiest room of board of mission. Man of the house was former German tank commander, anti-communist who the US (rumor, I could never understand his Spanish) had gotten out of Germany after the war. Had a nice business in the said 3rd world country.

The room and board was closed too after I left because the mission office didn't think it was appropriate. No idea why.

3 crazy companions in a row. All of them had spent time in the mission home because they were, well, crazy. The last one made me crazy and I went to the mission home for a while. Sometimes when I think about it now (which isn't very often) I'm pissed with Mission Pres. for giving me such fruitcakes and all of them in a row. Couldn't they at least have been spaced out? But mostly I liked the Mission Pres. He was not one of the high pressure-I want to be a GA pricks.

6. Out of the mission home after a week or so and had the nicest person on earth as a companion. Very devout but very easy to get along with. Members thought he was the senior because he spoke Spanish better than I did. Cried when I was transferred. If he was gay (which he isn't as far as I know), I'd marry him, if he wanted, of course.

7. I'm probably missing some here but I remember some greenies who were wierd. Not even sure what areas we were in. Guess I didn't care for greenies.

8. Out into the country side again. Only remember one companion. He was a prick. Convert from VA. Treated the lady of the house poorly. I googled him once. He's an attorney now and suing his kid's little league team for some stupid something or other, not enough playing time? That kind of prick.

9. Further up into the mountains. Had the niciest companion, Native America guy, was in the Placement program for about 6 years. We used to chuckle because the locals couldn't place his race. Later found out he did a couple of years in prison. Kind of broke my heart.

Next and last companion, mellow guy. Father was a high school football coach. He was from my college town so we had some stuff in common. Became the head of some big ass law firm. Not quite what I'd expect from such a mellow guy but, hey, you never know.

Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2013 07:57PM by lulu.

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Posted by: spicyspirit ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 01:27AM

This is such a fun thread to read! So many quacks!

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Posted by: Mormon Observer ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 02:37AM

My first husband told me of his companions:
One was a good ole cowboy from Caldwell Idaho. He was cool. Laid back got along well with the Lamanites.
One was skinny as a rail. Looked liked “Zero” on Beetle Bailey cartoon. Lucky my FIL sent enough money for two elders to eat. “Zero” subsisted on hot dogs.

Big Tongan companion. They enjoyed teaching each other songs on their guitars. He too had no money and my husbands Dad sent extra to feed them. The Tongan was very offended because my husband salted the rice when he cooked it!

My husband was a very tall man , over six feet. He got a ‘short man syndrome’ man from S. California; five foot nothing. The guy was squirrelly. He claimed that women who wore black tights, the opaque kind, were sexy. And the way to know if a girl was a hooker on the beach was she’d be wearing navy blue knee socks! He ticked off one of the Lamanite families he insisted on visiting, they pulled a knife on him! He also did a handstand on the side of a swimming pool to show off to some sister missionaries who couldn’t stand him and fell in! My hubby turned around and said “Could you do that again Elder? I missed it!”

He had a companion who wanted to do rodeo things at the members homes. He had one who wanted to spend time in their trailer on the reservation doing native bead work on a loom. My husband came home with some very nice pieces he’d made on his mission!

He had more than one companion claim the only reason the got ‘stuck’ with him as a junior companion was to learn patience. I would agree with them! And he was my ‘eternal companion’ for over twenty years!

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Posted by: joesmithsleftteste ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 02:49AM

1. Promised to tell me if anything I did bothered him and made me make the same promise back. I kept my part of the bargain and he didn't keep his and he resented me for it. My first introduction to Utah Mormons. Everything with him was about what people thought about him. I caught him talking about me behind my back on numerous occasions, but he never told me what I did to annoy him. He once got mad at me for trying to understand why polygamy had been commanded. Things between him and I nearly came to blows in the Denver airport.
2. Incredibly impatient, but a decent bloke on the whole. He taught me a lot about being a good missionary.
3. Wow. A perfect example of how the church messes people up who aren't exactly the same as everyone else. He was so incredibly insecure that I couldn't say anything critical of him without him humming, "Should you feel inclined to censure."
4. One of the nastiest people I've ever known. He would refuse to leave the apartment and then lied about the numbers. He ditched me once before I knew the city and I suspect he went to flirt with the dry cleaning attendant, but it took me an hour to find my way back to the apartment and he had the key. He also asked me to not go in with him when he did dry cleaning (I refused and went in anyway and he would then flirt for a long time with the employee). I was his last companion and he tried to steal some of my stuff and take it home with him.
5. A really nice guy. I was his second junior companion and he had only spent two transfers as senior before he got to me. We worked really hard and had a lot of good laughs together. He turned 24 while serving with me. I was his last companion.
6. And arrogant and condescending jerk who tried to do everything he could to break the rules and looked down on me for following them. I caught him and another missionary secretly planning to sneak out of the apartment and go to a condemned castle.
7. My first junior companion, but he was about to go home and neither of us could make sense of it since he was the district leader and a perfectly good missionary. We did some really good work together and had some good times, but mission politics at this time were very frustrating (see 7.5 for some of the details). We had a lot in common - we both worked hard, but neither was prone toward making up reasons to chastise other missionaries. I was his last companion and we're still friends.
7.5. Companion 7 and I were sent a third wheel who came from the mission office and was to open a new companionship after the end of the transfer. He was one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever known. He would act out an insane "holier than thou" behavior and act as thought his time spent in the office made him better than others, and then he'd break any rule that suited him.
8.The most arrogant person I've ever met. He looked down on everyone for anything that they didn't know. He looked down on the natives and, behind their backs, treated them with horrible disdain. He acted like everyone was ignorant and yet he didn't know much about church doctrines. A perfect example of his ridiculous arrogance can be found in how he was talking about how he owned stocks and, when I asked if his stocks ever paid dividends, he told me I was an idiot for expecting that his stocks (which represent partial ownership of a company) would ever earn him any of the company's profits.
9. This poor young man was mentally unstable. He and I should have gotten along great, but he hated the way I did everything. When I finally gave up and let him be senior companion for a week, he did everything the exact same way I had been doing things. He told me that it was my fault he wasn't following mission rules because I had been looking the other way on a few minor things to keep the peace between us. It was impossible to keep him happy, but the mission president had promised me that if I was super strict with him, he would begin to get along with me. I had a nervous breakdown after him.
10. If this guy doesn't remember me fondly, I don't blame him. I was trying to recover from companion number 9 and I was incredibly stressed out, but he helped me through it. He was a genuinely nice person, although his inability to comprehend when I was joking did get on my nerves. He also got a little bit creepy around children, which really made me uneasy, but I'm not sure he had bad intentions...
11. This guy was as Utanic as they come. He and companion number 1 should have gotten married. He wouldn't let me sit on the other side of the bus from him until the mission president said that that didn't constitute leaving your companion. He tried to ask a man who refused to go to church ever again if he wanted to get baptized because "he felt the spirit." When I told him not to, in a fit of self righteousness, he told me I was lucky that he didn't and then yelled at me for 15 minutes... He wouldn't eat sugary foods because they could harm his immune system and his mission time was so precious that he couldn't risk losing any of it to illness.

It's interesting to note that companions 4 and 9 were both home schooled. Companions 1, 3, and 11 were all from Utah. I feel like apologizing to companion 10, but I haven't been able to find him. If I were to ever see companion 1, 8, or 11, I would thank them for playing part of my ability to see the church for what it is. Companion 9 played a big part in it, but he wasn't responsible since his part was simply proving my mission president's inspiration completely wrong. Companion 7 is the only one who I consider a friend and he actually helped me learn about the church history stuff that made up my mind completely about the church (but that was nearly 10 years after the mission).

If I sound like I approve of doing good work as a missionary, it is more or less true. While I don't want to see the church grow, I also don't approve of people signing up for something knowing what they're getting themselves into and refusing to follow the rules for it since it isn't fair to the people who are following rules. At the same time, I hated the people who made up new rules. Companions 3 and 11 both did that and it made me want to strangle them.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/05/2013 02:56AM by joesmithsleftteste.

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Posted by: kimball ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 12:42PM

I love how companion 7.5 doesn't get his own number, and that companion #7 sounds like an awesome guy.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/05/2013 12:48PM by kimball.

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 06:32AM

This is a fun read!

Ok - Okayama Japan, 1989-91

MTC - Never really got to know the guy. I hung out with a few other guys who didn't like their comps. He was very VERY easy going. Possibly the biggest penix I've ever seen.

1 - Trunky out to pasture ZL. He had 2 months left. He wrote constantly to a sister mishie he met in the MTC. There was talk of marriage. One day, he bought a coin with "eien ni As You Wish" engraved on it. Literally got on our bikes, went back to the apt. The mail had arrived, and Dear John. He went into his futon fully clothed and didn't come out except to potty for 3 days.

2 - Guy who meant well. Nice guy but never connected. Possibly the smallest penix I've ever seen this side of a FTM.

3 - This guy and I never got along. Ever. Almost to the point of animosity. One day years later, I was analyzing things and realized that the first day or two, I made a deaf joke. His little sister was deaf and I think he took my idiocy personally. My whoopsie bad.

4 - Japanese mishie. Taught me a lot of regular, good old fashioned Japanese. I started to learn how to cook and he really appreciated that.

5 - My guy. We were only together for a month, but we did a lot during that month. We never crossed a line, but we got really cozy. I never forgave that stupid mission prez for transfering me.

6 - I think I bonded with this guy about the last 30 minutes of day one. My god, but we had fun. We were both pretty pissed about our transfers and using code, we decided we wouldn't do SH!t during our time togther. Oh the stories. Movies. Travel. Cooking lessons. ANYTHING but mormon mission work.

7 - If it's the guy I'm thinking of, he can go get bent.

8 - Wasn't with him long. The only memory I have of him was his ability to produce milk from his nipples. My life.....

9 - An absolute cretin. A obese, big skulled, kinky haired lumox with a penchant for stealing tuna. Couldn't eat anything spicy. I learned how to cook Sichuan.

10 - A buddy of mine was the AP and called me once to ask how I was. Please see #9, and said get one of us out of here! He asked when the last time I was happy was and I told him when I was with #5. Who got transered in? #5. Oh, there was a time up in there! Joy. I thought my world would crush when transfers came, but they came, I left and life went on. He came home, got married and has a gaggle of kids.

11 - This guy was just terrific. 100% a perfect fella. On our way home from the tran station first night, he dropps the "F" bomb. I didn't do mishie work from then on. On his last day, he grinned at me and said, "do you realize we didn't knock on a single door the entire time we were together?" Oh, dude, you're a good guy.

12 - Grade "A" World Class P R I C K. Local Japanese who this day....urge to punch. Ass!!!!

13 - By this time, I was at least a year into my "He's a trouble missionary" label. I never really heard this, but i"m sure. Because.....I was. I hated it. Anyway, there was another guy who was going home a month early and him and I were made comps to the end. He was a good guy, very TBM, and very utah mormon.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/05/2013 06:39AM by Levi.

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Posted by: nickname ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 06:57AM

1. My trainer. He was pretty great. I learned that the mission rules could be bent, and we could still get plenty of work done. We worked pretty hard, but we had a good time sometimes too.

2. He was kind of shy and new in the mission, and so was I. This led to some awkwardness, but all in all it was pretty good.

3. I was his last companion. He was a nerd, like me. We had a lot of fun. We went to see a lot of cool sites and we spent a lot of days just hanging out talking. We did some work too, but almost no tracting. If it was raining, we'd just go shopping, or go to a library and surf the internet. He was my favorite companion.

4. This guy was a really smart missionary. He had the whole system figured out. He'd just make friends with people, and THEN teach them about the church. He also taught me how to deal with the "commitment pattern" that the mission leaders LOVED to use on us: whenever someone commits you to do something, just say you'll do it (they'll never accept any other answer anyway) and then later you can decide whether or not you actually want to do it. If you don't end up doing it, just make up a lame excuse, like you forgot or something. Never say you purposefully didn't do it, because that will just lead to them trying to "fix" your "problem."

5. He was a pretty good guy but he worked me very hard. We were always tracting, which never got us anywhere. I was exhausted and discouraged most of the time.

6. This guy was a really, genuinely good person. But he had a very hard time with the language, yet he was the DL because he'd gotten a bunch of baptisms in his previous area. He came from a no-mo family who were very opposed to him serving a mission. We worked very hard. I was annoyed at him for working me so hard, but it was hard to dislike him, because he was just such a good guy!

7. This guy was just a miserable person to be around! I'd heard of him beforehand. Everyone in the mission dreaded serving with him. I think he'd been emergency transferred more times than not. Even though he'd only been out about half as long as me, he'd already had twice as many companions! I soon found out why! This guy hated everyone and everything. He hated America and Americans, and had no problem telling me everything "wrong" with me and my homeland. He hated the natives and their whole culture. Everything they did was "wrong" because it wasn't how they did it back home in England. He would insult them and their country to their faces, so everyone hated him, and would never invite us over. He didn't like to work, but he refused to break any major rules either, so most of the time we just sat around at home in separate rooms and quietly hated each other. I was shocked when neither of us got transferred! (I guess I didn't complain enough to the MP!) It turned out that I was his only companion who got stuck with him for two whole transfers... lucky me. He jacked off in the shower and didn't even bother to clean it up. Gross! I never ratted him out, though, since I masturbated as well. He once got so mad at me that he ditched me in the middle of town and just went home. I just laughed at him, because I had the key! I came along about ten minutes later and he was just sitting on the front step with his arms crossed, pouting like a child, waiting for me to let him in.

8. I was his last companion. We just played around the whole time. It was such a relief after the last guy! The ward we were serving in got shut down while we were there, and we joked that it was all our fault for being so "apostate." He had a DVD player, and we'd borrow movies from members and investigators, and just sit around watching them all day or we'd go out and see some sites (not even necessarily in our area... or zone!). It was lots of fun.

9. I really don't remember him at all. I was going home, I really just didn't care anymore. I don't think he liked it, but by this point, he could pretty much bite me for all I cared! I would always answer the phone whenever the DL or ZLs would call and use elder #4's tricks. Eventually they all got sick of me, and would only talk to my companion, but I'd keep answering the phone anyway, just to mess with them. I'd answer and they'd immediately just ask for my companion, so I'd say something like, "Aww, you don't want to talk to me? Come on elder, don't you love me too? Choose not to be offended, elder!" I pretty much should have gone home a month early, it would have been better for everyone involved!

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Posted by: CuriousObserver ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 09:50AM

for a second I thoughts 4 from joesmithsleftteste and 7 from nickname were a matching pair!

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Posted by: Hermes ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 11:57AM

MTC- Was in a threesome, that was nice because we had one fewer people in the form room. One guy NEVER learned French, nice guy but kind of a dim bulb (the chicks loved him). The other had a picture of the Queen of England on his desk, like she was his girlfriend. His bare feet never touched the ground.

Trainer- Drove me nuts because he was a hardcore door-knocker. I thought he was weird, and he was kind of socially awkward. Only lasted a month and I was happy for that.

Next guy was a lot of fun, played the guitar and hated to drive, great, because I loved to drive. He never paid attention to where we were going, so when I was transferred I had to mark everything on the map for him to find.

Next was a guy who would be going home in two months. It was winter...bitter cold, I was in the mood to work, he wasn't. I was too hard on him in my judgment. We found our peace listening to music in stores and going to the roller rink on weekends to skate and stare at the chicks.

We added another guy the companionship, and BOTH would be going home in a month. Life sucked, they were so happy.

Got sent to a slice of paradise, only to be teamed up with my trainer again. We found our peace through talking about comic books. He was also going home in a month. I felt like the Mission Killer.

Psycho. Wicked temper. Had no reason being there and was angry at the world. We got along only because I was so laid back I let him do whatever. A lot of time spent at the arcades. Only spent one morning in two months doing missionary work. I was the DL.

Made a ZL and lived in the big city with a guy who was laidback and a good guy. He let me find my peace with needed solitude at times. I stayed there three months and then got sent back to paradise.

And was companions with a guy I became friends with in the MTC. He's still one of my closest friends. He was in love with a local chick, so we spent a lot of time driving around and meeting up with her and her friends. At the time I felt really guilty about it, but now I look back at those days with a lot of fondness.

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Posted by: Zim ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 12:35PM

This is a fun one.

MTC Comp #1: Texan. Decent guy, but kind of a meat head. His Texas-accented Spanish was hysterical. He got letters from a girl back home every single day. She sent thousands of photos, just in the MTC. Here she is mixing cookie batter, here she is putting the cookies in the oven. Here she is taking them out. No joke. We got along fine, but we were both changed to different comps after about a week or two.

MTC Comp #2: Utah guy who was kind of a load. He had very little understanding of anyone who wasn't exactly like him (Utah sporto). I put up a postcard of Jimi Hendrix that a friend of mine sent me and he got very offended by it. He pointed it out to me and said it was "very bad." I pointed at the picture of his girlfriend on his desk and said, "Take her down, I'll take Jimi down."

Comp 3: Mexican native. Older guy. He was one of the most unpleasant people I ever met. Older than the average missionary. Beautiful singing voice, but terrible disposition. He was distantly related to our mission president. He is the only companion I came close to punching. I thought he hated Americans, but his next companion was Mexican and he told me the same kind of stories. I guess he hated everyone.

Comp 4: Mexican native. He was in his last month in the field. He was branch president in our area. We had a lot of work to do related to that, so missionary work was done as we were able. He wasn't as unpleasant as the previous guy, but he was a grouch. You'd think being almost done would have put him in a good mood. Nope.

Comp 5: American from Arizona. This one barely counts because we were thrown together on a temporary transfer. It seems the mission president didn't want to make me a senior companion and branch president all at once, so he brought in a different elder for a week to learn the running of the branch. While that was happening, I was sent with his old companion. We had about the same amount of time in the field, so we would joke about being "co-juniors." He could barely speak Spanish at all. He never ever learned from what I was told. Because he knew his weakness with the language, he wouldn't speak English to me ever. Every single night, he would kneel beside his bed and fall asleep praying. Sometimes he'd sleep all the way through the night. He was a runner and casually asked if I wanted to run. Like a fool, I said "sure!" figuring a little exercise would do me good. He nearly killed me. He was in terrific shape and I had never jogged in my life. I was sore for two weeks.

Comp #6: American from SLC. Great guy and absolutely hilarious. We had tons of fun together. He knew how to balance the mission work with a good time.

Comp #7: Mexican. He was my first junior comp. He was fresh out of the Mexican MTC. He was from Northern Mexico. It was with him I realized that just because he was a native speaker, it didn't necessarily make the mission transition that much easier. He struggled with illness and depression the whole time I was with him. One time we were walking down the street and he had to pee, so he just whipped it out and peed while we were walking. When I told him that he shouldn't do that he couldn't understand why. he hated the food down south where we were serving. He said it was "pig food."

Comp #8: Mexican. Great guy. Funny. Really tall for a Mexican. His pride and joy was a velvet purple suit he had. He wore it for any meeting that he thought was important. I knew he didn't have a ton of money and didn't want to embarrass him, but I tried my best to persuade him not to wear it when we went to zone conferences. A later companion traded him a pair of Levi's for it and threw the suit in the trash.

Comp #9: Mexican. Hyper guy from northern Mexico. Funny.

Comp #10: Mexican. Really young seeming. He had a hard time focusing. Might have been ADD.

Comp #11: Mexican from the D.F. Great guy. Absolutely hysterical. He was probably my favorite companion. We got back in touch years after the mission and it was like picking up the conversation from the last day I saw him. True friend. I think he's a stake president in Mexico now.

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Posted by: kimball ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 12:44PM

1. Was prone to having deep revelations accompanied by tears. I admired him greatly at the time, and tolerated his uptight and occasionally condescending attitudes.

2. An Australian who loved phrases like "son a bitch" and "damn him to hell." He would have been a fantastic companion if I wan't such a greenie who looked down on such things.

3. An overweight unsociable companion who, once I got past his disgusting habits and irksome social incompetence, became my best supporter during one of the most difficult and shaping few months of my life. I've always pitied him for having to put up with the last few weeks of the old me.

4. A closet homosexual who remains in the closet to this day. He often talked to me about how the color of the pen in his shirt pocket accentuated his eyes, and was fascinated by the fact that I had hair on my butt, occasionally asking to see it. I once accidentally called something he said gay, and he was so upset at the word that he was unable to function for a day or two. We were together for 6 months, presumably because I was the only missionary who could get along with him.

5. A Kentuckian who spoke with such a drawal that I often got bored and stopped paying attention in the middle of his sentences, which is to say nothing about how I managed entire discussions with him.

6. An extraordinarily intelligent young man who challenged the utmost limits of my intellect. He had developed such devastatingly powerful emotional baggage related to mormon doctrine and lifestyle that he nearly went home several times we were together. I never quite reached his intellectual level, and consequently never quite understood where he was coming from. I thought I could fix him by flooding him with positive spiritual emotions, and was dismayed when it didn't work.

7. An easy-going guy from Utah who offered me my first and only reprieve of mission problems.

8. A sexually-repressed classic Utahn who despised proselyting with every fiber of his being. He knew I was not on board for enjoying our missions, so he slept all day and went out to do who knows what at night. He was extremely depressed our whole time together, and my determination to be a good missionary added to it. When I told my mission president that I had caught him smoking and listening to heavy metal music, my mission president chose to believe my companion's facade instead, which was death to my reputation in the mission office.

9. In order to try to reform me, my mission president sent me the hardest working missionary in the mission, who seemed surprised when after a few weeks he couldn't find anything wrong with me. We took a lot of shit together from mission aristocracy, and it was with him that I finally learned that sometimes the right thing to do is to just give your priesthood leaders the finger. He remains a great friend today, and is known on this board as Josephsmithsleftteste.

10. My last companion was sent directly from the mission office to be a third wheel and see what was going on between Josephsmithsleftteste and I - possibly to determine how I had corrupted him - and to lay the framework for supplanting a companionship that had grown to be a continuing and irreparable blight on the mission president's charts. He ended up, indeed, supplanting us, but was so hypocritical that I doubt any progress was made on the MP's blight. When I went home, I got the hell out of there and didn't look back.

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Posted by: squeebee ( )
Date: February 05, 2013 02:10PM

1. Japanese guy who spoke English fluently, just never to me. I called him a bastard in my heart but that refusal to let me use his English skills as a crutch probably got be down the road to fluency much faster.

2. Came to him as an emergency transfer because his TBM companion got so fed up with him he caught the train to the mission home to complain. We got along fine, watched movies at the library instead of tracting, built nets to scoop baseballs and basketballs out of a raging river and donated them back to the school upstream. Did a lot of tourist stuff. Neither of us ever mentioned the hidden porno to the other, but it tended to move in its hiding place a lot.

3. Japanese junior comp, only lasted a month, I transferred in, and transferred out.

4. Former junior comp of a guy in my MTC group, total TBM, drove him insane.

5. Total slacker like myself. We'd tract when we felt guilty enough. One time I got distracted at a magic shop in a department store (I used to do magic shows at birthday parties) and hit it off with the shop owner. When I finally looked around, he was gone. I called him on his contraband cellphone and found out he was at an arcade across the street.

6. A pure-blood Japanese from Utah. His grandparents on both sides had immigrated, his parents had met, and along he came. He was third-generation American but pure Japanese. All the people we talked to would ask if he was retarded since his Japanese was so bad but he looked the part.

7. A TBM from my MTC group, assigned as my senior. Drove me nuts and I was paranoid the whole time. Both of us had received in our setting apart a warning that while on our mission we would be in danger, but that if we followed the spirit we would be safe. I found out he got the same warning back when we were in the MTC, massive hit of the spirit on hearing that. Nothing happened the whole time we were companions but I was edgy those two months. Who knows, maybe we were following the spirit and it was a Mr. Magoo kind of scenario, with danger always happening a moment after we left.

8. A guy who was so sick I eventually took him in to the hospital where they shoved a camera down his throat. A month later he transferred out. I'm pretty sure it was stress, the doctors never did find anything wrong with him.

9. A guy whose dad was in the navy, meant he still had a pass and could get us on the local naval base to buy from the commissary. That was great, eating some food that tasted of home. Once saw the bishop walking out with a six-pack, we told ourselves it was to entertain the officers.

There's five more in there I don't recall as clearly. I was with 14 companions in 6 areas, I think I may not have played well with others (But was in one area for 9 months, I had two one month areas).

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