Date: October 25, 2012 03:26AM
When people are that horrible, I don't feel guilty lying to them. It doesn't even matter if they know you are lying. My own family had the batterers, pedophiles and thieves in it.
I can't thank you enough for this thread, because it has helped me feel less guilty about cutting most of my siblings, my nephew and niece out of my life completely. There was hell to pay for this, from my parents, because they didn't believe my reasons, even though these evil family members were abusing my parents, too.
Maybe you need to protect your children from these people--especially the pedophile. My own brother is a pedophile, and the only way we could stop him was to have NO CONTACT. He would sneak up on us in the hallway at family reunions and funerals, wait for us to go to the restroom, hit us quickly with his hands on our breasts and body (my little girls and I, separately), and run off and act all innocent and smiling, like he had a cute little secret. He did this well into his fifties. We stopped going to any function where he was going to be. Just seeing him was too traumatic for us. Talking to him on the phone was impossible, because of the dirty sexual remarks he would make--we couldn't hang up fast enough. These perverts NEVER STOP.
So, back to the lying thing. My perv brother was very persistent in staying at our house, years ago, for these family reunions. My parents put on the pressure, and threatened to disinherit us if we didn't comply. So, I lied to them. I have a painful, incurable disease, IC, but in between attacks, I'm perfectly healthy. The attacks are absolutely unpredictable. But...I would be in the middle of a bad spell whenever my brother wanted to come visit us. When I had to travel, I planned my business trips at the same time as his visits, and said my children were staying at my husband's family, out of town. Actually, they were with friends at an undisclosed location, safe. One visit was unexpected, and I hid in the back of my house with the curtains closed, while he banged on the door, and waited in his car in the driveway for 3 hours. He went our neighbors and asked them if they had keys to our house, and they didn't know who he was. He came and peered in the windows, and I hid under my desk. Nothing is too inconvenient to avoid being abused.
You could do what my SIL does with us. He has his i-phone with him at all times, often with earphones, and he just--vanishes! "Where's SIL? I dunno, maybe in the bathroom? I haven't seen him for about an hour.... Oh, here he is, I guess he was outside getting some air."
When my abusive brother used to stay with us, my husband would disappear, too, saying he had to meet with a client, or had a golf game, or whatever. Just be that busy person. They are your husband's parents, so leave them with him, and let him deal with them. Go to the store to get diapers, medicine, run out of gas while you are there, get lost in their neighborhood. Make a game to see how much time you can spend away. Take your kids with you, though. Never leave them alone with a pedophile!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2012 03:30AM by forestpal.