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Posted by: whiteandelightsome ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:31PM

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Posted by: cupcakełicker (sober) ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:36PM

Horny Joe was shooting blanks, while Emma was secretly getting it on with Hyrum. Maybe.

Or abortions.

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Posted by: TDWMB ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:39PM

all the baby mommas were so happy to have a child with a prophet,

also I suspect that birth control was a common if taboo practice. I'm sure there were ways of creating a barrier method of birth control.

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Posted by: Pyewacket ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:41PM

Penny Royal

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:42PM

covering the papers? Why does Bill Clinton not have women claiming children?

No Brainer.

HH =)

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:46PM

If you marry 33 extra women, you might only be intimate with each woman a couple times per year. If he had lived longer, we might have had a better chance of finding that his DNA had been spread around more.

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Posted by: BeenThereDunnThatExMo ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 08:54PM

The answer is: Dr. John C. Bennett; Nauvoo Abortionist at large.

Or so it seems to me...

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Posted by: spintobear ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:20AM

I was just going to say the same thing. Something about those funny shaped metal objects in his exam rooom

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Posted by: ASteve ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 02:10PM

If his birth control failed, then yes.

People today seem to forget that condoms have been around for several millenia. Other birth control devices were also available in the early 1800s

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 09:05PM

female orgasm is required for a woman to get pregnant

Joseph Smith, Jr.'s women never got pregnant because they never reached an orgasm

experts and scientists have long known the purpose of the female orgasm

it is needed for pregnancy like the male orgasm is

that is the scientific purpose of it

ziller can confirm

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Posted by: TDWMB ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 09:15PM

Thanks for the laugh

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Posted by: redkoolaidmonster ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 10:53PM

Ok. This us one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read.

A female orgasm is NOT repeat NOT required to get pregnant.

Pregnancy requires a sperm to meet an egg. That's it.

Unless you are suggesting that rape victims who get pregnant secretly enjoyed their rape enough to orgasm?

Or unless you are suggesting that a female who is impregnated via in vitro has to orgasm during the procedure?

Or how about the thousands of women who can't achieve orgasm who get pregnant with no problem?

I suggest you look it up in let's say... a book.

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Posted by: whiteandelightsome ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 11:07PM

I think it was a joke.

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Posted by: Emmabiteback ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 11:20PM

I agree, ziller is a jokester and the orgasm bit was funny, but I have heard to have a girl the mother can't orgasm.Embryos that become doesn't matter if she does or not. Weird right? Oh folklore and gossip. Who knows, nature keeps us guessing.

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Posted by: finnan haddie ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 01:26AM

pretty sure that's nonsense.

Gender of the child is determined by gender of the sperm - eggs have no gender. And conception occurs several days after sex. So unless having an orgasm somehow killed off all the male sperm or made the females swim faster, it could have no effect on the event.

I believe there are broad differences in the speed and stamina of male and female sperm which can affect chances depending on where the egg is on it's journey down from the ovary; but all these methods of picking gender are old wives' tales.

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Posted by: Emmabiteback ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 01:36AM

I know, just posted another wacky level of beliefs. This still makes me laugh. No punt intended for the newbies.. Sorry

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Posted by: kak75 aka kak57 ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 02:26PM

Actually, eggs do have "gender" -- they all have one X (female) with the sperm having either X or Y to decide the gender of the new person.

Nobody can survive without at least one X chromosome.

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Posted by: nevermoaz ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 01:34AM

Good Lord, unbunch the panties. It's obviously a joke....

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 06:01AM

Actually not obvious. There are people who believe that.

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Posted by: EssexExMo ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 09:01AM

what's frightening is that there are people who believe that - who have been/will be running for office

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Posted by: ASteve ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 02:13PM

Actually yes, completely obvious to anyone with a functional human brain.

The fact that there might be a minority of stupid people whose brains do not function properly does not change the fact that it is obvious.

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Posted by: alisonwonderland ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 09:53AM

Regardless of whether or not sex is consensual, genital stimulation can result in orgasm. It is not uncommon for women to orgasm during rape, even if they wouldn't normally orgasm even during consensual sex. Something to do with fear-induced adrenaline that heightens stimulation. This often contributes to the guilt victims feel because of the notion that climaxing equals enjoyment of the experience; if they orgasm, they think maybe it means it was somehow consensual. Sorry I don't have sources to back this up, but you can google it.

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Posted by: sampsonAtard ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 09:09PM

And that's a fact... Dr. John operated in a certain house outside Nauvoo. One lady described a sort of steel hook the man had in his arsenal.

Don't hope for any reliable documentation for Masonic activities like this.

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Posted by: Hedning ( )
Date: August 25, 2015 11:25PM

Apologists like to contend that all claims to paternity have been disputed by DNA evidence, but none of the actual data has ever been published so it can be scrutinized.

Before claims are made a very large sample of those having ancestors in the church in Kirtland and Nauvoo would have to be tested.

A very rigorous comparison of family DNA and actual DNA samples from Joseph Smith would need to be done. This is because you can't prove who someone's parents are just by birth records. There was much hanky panky in the Church. Actual DNA samples from JS would be problematic due to age and contamination issues. I know there are bits of bone and hair floating around from JS, but they would likely be contaminated.

DNA testing would likely only be conclusive for Y DNA lines in males.

I personally think pregnancies were either aborted (as first hand witnesses described), or babies given away, or the women were taken away (like Fanny Alger).

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Posted by: Doubting Thomas ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:23AM

He liked to pull out. Is that so hard to understand? Do we not have any Catholic converts on this board?!

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:24AM

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:24AM

Any female children would have to be exhumed since they would not pass on the special priesthood DNA. Getting permission would be difficult.

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Posted by: southern idaho inactive ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:34AM

Because the morg covered it up!??

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Posted by: poopstone ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 03:50AM

because he didn't make love to any other women besides Emma is the simplest explanation. Yes he went to bed with many young girls but that doesn't mean he necessarily had sex with any of them. His marriages were none conjubial, or however you say it?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 04:56AM


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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 11:31AM


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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 02:00PM

poopstone Wrote:
> because he didn't make love to any other women
> besides Emma is the simplest explanation. Yes he
> went to bed with many young girls but that doesn't
> mean he necessarily had sex with any of them. His
> marriages were none conjubial, or however you say
> it?

"Didn't have sex with any of them"?

What is the color of the sky in your land?

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Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 05:44AM

It has to be understood that with possible female offspring, there's no way to be certain whether Joseph Smith was the father. We are reduced to studying the DNA of their descendants, and autosomal DNA is subject to recombination, except for the Y-Chromosome...

This is interesting; I hadn't seen these claims before:

>In addition, DNA testing has been performed and a correlation is found, but due to cross-marrying in the generations prior to Joseph and Sylvia, no absolute conclusions are possible.

Perego is listed as the source, and he is LDS... I understand he now works for the Church Education System. Simon Southerton has never taken issue with his research, but his "two near-simultaneous migration hypothesis" that is used to defend, among others, the Monte Verde findings (which Anna C. Roosevelt, Steward Fiedel, and others roundly reject, although they are in a minority) overlooks the fact the mtDNA haplogroup D4H3 was found in some pre-Columbian Hopewell remains as well as the "Anzick Clovis Child." Both of the individuals who left their DNA behind are a long ways from the Pacific Coast.

I'm not deeply troubled by the "talking point" regarding JS's not having children other than by Emma; the issue of whether he had sex with his plural wives--including those married to other men--has been settled by testimony from the wives themselves as part of the "Succession Question." Joseph Smith III journeyed to Salt Lake and heard sworn testimony from women who detailed their marriages to JS, and that included actual sexual intercourse.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2015 05:47AM by SL Cabbie.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 05:53AM

Well, then there's Eliza Snow's, "You should know Brother Joseph better than that," supposed quote.

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Posted by: Nidog ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 09:06AM

I contributed to the Mormon genome project. I don't know how accurate their tests will be but I would be fascinated to see the result.

Who knows, I'm pioneer stock, maybe there's a little Joe in me.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 09:15AM

Well my Joseph jeans would prove I'm actually a cousin.

Not a direct descendant however, thank gawd. :o)

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Posted by: wwfsmd ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 10:17AM

Good thing anal and oral sex were only invented in the last 10 years or so. Duh.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 11:12AM

While it is true that women can get pregnated without reaching orgasm,

the babies conceived in this manner usually do not survive childbirth

If they do survive, the baby is sickly, mutated, malformed and generally ugly.

The best, healthiest, and aesthetically pleasing babies are produced when the woman has an orgasm.

When the woman has a back-bowing, mattress-gripping, tow-curling orgasm, her cervix dialates.

The man places his urethra in direct contact with the woman’s cervix and times his orgasm to coincide with the woman’s.

This way the seed is deposited directly through the cervix like a pulsating fire hose spraying down a smoldering volcano and the woman’s eggs are completely covered in plentiful volumes of healthy sperm.

That’s some healthy baby making right there !

If the woman does not orgasm, the only sperm available to fertilize the egg are random, mutant swimmers that Mother Nature would rather not see survive.

This is what happened to Joseph Smith, Jr.’s offspring.

How else to you explain Joseph Smith, Jr. having sex with that many women for that many years and not leaving ANY offspring.

The average Indonesian prince with only 3 wives can have hundreds of direct descendants within just a few generations !!!

No ~ Joseph Smith, Jr. was terrible in bed.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 02:04PM

You are joking right?

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Posted by: Dafuq ( )
Date: August 26, 2015 12:22PM

Holy Shit

does the depravity of the origins of mormondom ever end?

Abortions? Bastard children? "Spiritual wifery"? Adultery?

Murder? Banishment?

Destruction and censorship of the press

What the fuck

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