| Subject: | Okay all You Temple Brides. Tell us boys something. |
| Date: | Jan 13, 2008 |
| Author: | NumLock |
| Ever since I was a tiny TBM [true believing Mormon] I can recall that the
girls were told how wonderously beautiful and pampered they would feel when
they entered the house-o-the-lard and got to go into the "Bride's Room".
After all, in the ideal Mormon world you would only get to go in there once
in a lifetime! The way I heard it told was that the Bride's Room was the most beautiful room in the Temple...Even more beautiful than the Celestial Room. I also heard that the female temple matrons fussed over the brides like little mother hens making sure that everything would be perfect for that once-in-eternity special day. So what is the room really like? Does it have some kind of salon in it? Hair dryers? Luxurious bathtubs with candles and bath salts? Lighted makeup mirrors? Were you preened and fussed over by the temple workers? All the men get is a locker room. Spill the beans! What's going on in that "very special" Bridal Room???? |
| Subject: | Re: Okay all You Temple Brides. Tell us boys something. |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:10 |
| Author: | kc |
| It was a pretty room, for sure, but nothing any nicer
than the places where I shopped for and tried on wedding dresses. It was
white, mostly, like all rooms in the temple, with a few tables, a few
flowers, a few mirrors and chandeliers. But what I remember most is standing
there looking in the mirror all alone. Yes, a temple worker or two popped in
to make sure my dress was "appropriate" and they fussed about my
'unnecessary' and non-detachable train which I had to carry over my arm. But
they didn't seem to involved. No mother, no grandma, no mother-in-law. No
aunts or sisters or cousins. No best friend, or even a CLOSE friend to be
with me on my special day. They were all excluded for not being Mormon. My
bishop's wife came in with me for a bit. I barely knew her. I was young and excited for my wedding day, but standing there alone in the absolute dead silence it was very clear that this was something I was doing all by myself. It was a very sad, empty feeling. Standing there in my wedding dress, no music, no flowers, no body... just waiting for my turn in the sealing room with a couple of strangers as witnesses. |
| Subject: | fussed over? Hardly |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:21 |
| Author: | gemini |
| Ok, I was in the bride's room way back in 1970 in Idaho Falls. All I remember about it was how damn early it was (no pre-endowment day for me--the whole 9 yards on the same day with NO film!) and how tired and SCARED I was. It seemed like all we were told was to hurry, hurry, hurry to get on with it. There was nothing special about it that I remember at all. |
| Subject: | Best thing about life I learned from little kids |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:24 |
| Author: | Rev Lakes |
| Call a "do over" and do it the way you want. |
| Subject: | From what I've read here.. |
| Date: | Jan 13 03:01 |
| Author: | Hap E. Heretic |
| the drive through wedding chapels in Vegas are more
romantic and less chaotic than the temple. So glad I never donned the regulation underwear, robes and such, and had to endure all the rituals I was always told were so "spiritual and special". Sounds like it was a HUGE letdown to the majority of folks here, and to most TBM's as well (though they wouldn't DARE admit it). With all those creepy penalties, I'm not surprised. |
| Subject: | I seriously don't even remember as I was herded in and out so fast. |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:21 |
| Author: | Just Little Ol' Me Not Logged In |
| There were old ladies to fuss over you alright! Fuss
about your neck or shoulders showing, fuss about the "diamond" earrings
being "too showy" (yes, I had some CZ earrings that were rather small, and
they made me REMOVE them because they were "inappropriate."). Oh, but ...
during the temple tour (prior to dedication) all I heard about was the
"imported chandelier" and the "imported marble" and the "imported wood." No, it wasn't anything special (better than a locker room, though!), or I think I would have remembered. And GOD FORBID we be allowed to take pictures of our "special" day!! |
| Subject: | Re: Okay all You Temple Brides. Tell us boys something. |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:22 |
| Author: | tude |
| I don't know about other temples, but the Dallas, TX
temple bridal room was certainly far from beautiful or special! It was a
tiny, white room and I think it had a couple of plain mirrors, a chair, some
lockers, hooks, and a sink. No curling irons or hairdryers, as best I can
recall, and definitely no candles or bath salts, let alone a bath or shower.
I was lucky to get a sink! The old women more like fussed AT me rather than over me and they left me all alone and did absolutely nothing to help me get ready. The only times I would see the temple workers was when they would pop their heads in every few minutes to tell me to hurry up or scold me about one thing or another. I remember feeling so let down and disappointed when I realized EVERYTHING they had promised me about the temple bridal room was a complete LIE! tude |
| Subject: | Well, Tude, I always thought the Dallas Temple... |
| Date: | Jan 13 16:46 |
| Author: | JBug |
| Looked like a funeral home anyway. But it was still prettier than where I got married! [Ogden] Ogden looks sort of like a spaceship! It's uglier than Hell. |
| Subject: | Yes, we were told how SPECIAL the ENTIRE temple experience would be! |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:46 |
| Author: | Just Little Ol' Me Not Logged In |
| Like I mentioned in a previous thread ... I've wanted to hunt down my "MIA" (dating myself) Leaders and rip them a new asshole! I CRIED in the Bride's Room because it was NOT special and wasn't about me AT ALL! Like others have said, we were mostly scolded and told to HURRY! It was a freaking cattle call! |
| Subject: | Re: But weren't you girls told how "special" the Bride's Room would be? |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:50 |
| Author: | kc |
| I was told getting married in the temple was the most beautiful, wonderful, spiritual thing ever. I was a convert at age 18 tho, not raised in it. The worst part on the actual "wedding" aka ordinance was when the officiator (a complete stranger) told me (in my ugly temple veil and green apron) and my brand new husband (in his baker's hat tied to his shoulder and green apron) to stand up from the sealing altar, join hands, and look into the mirrors on the wall and see "eternity." There are mirrors in front and behind you so that when you look in them, you see yourselves reflected over and over a million times off into the distance. All those green aprons and bakers caps reflecting into eternity made me sick, and I had to look away. It was so NOT spiritual. |
| Subject: | Re: But weren't you girls told how "special" the Bride's Room would be? n/t |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:54 |
| Author: | tude |
| YES! They told us those things from the day we were
born! Just another example of how TSCC lies to the members to brainwash us
into thinking how wonderful everything is. Makes me want to throw up! |
| Subject: | It was a stupid, stupid day, and a stupid, stupid Bride's Room, and... |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:55 |
| Author: | Tahoe Girl |
| a stupid, stupid ceremony, and I had a stupid, stupid
dress as well as a stupid, stupid reception. Talk about stupid. And no, NumLock, I had never been told that the Bride's Room was beautiful (and it wasn't), and no temple ladies fussed over me. Brides getting married in the temple are herded through like cows. Nothing special about it. |
| Subject: | I just recall the "bra-instructions" which were given to me in that room |
| Date: | Jan 13 05:26 |
| Author: | picture perfect exmo |
| Thankfully, the temple-worker that day was "modern"
enough to tell me that it was MY choice whether I wore the bra underneath or
on top of my G's (my mother changed her bra about 5 secs after the lady
left, because she had been told you HAD TO wear it ON TOP of the G's
otherwise they wouldn't *protect* your breasts.....). Other than that, I just recall a small white room with mirrors and flowers and I was way too intimidated by the initiatory ordinances I had had... More info on the bra-thing: I have big breasts (I am a natural cup E, but other than that I am not big) and I could NEVER find G's to fit me. I a sooo happy now that I ditched those things!!!! |
| Subject: | The temple bothers me more than anything else as an exmo |
| Date: | Jan 13 11:50 |
| Author: | bookworm |
| When I a was a teenager in YW's the temple is the
ultimate goal they pound into the girls' heads. The leaders don't talk about
the importance of an education or teaching young girls self respect and self
reliance. YW are taught to get married young and only get married in the
temple. It only matters that the boy can take them to the temple. So this is
pounded in our heads from primary age. But we never actually know what the
temple really means or what goes on. All the leaders are smiling and winking
at each other with their secret knowledge that they can't disclose. I got married when I was 20 yrs old. Luckily I was nearly done with obtaining my BA and received it a year later. Also I married a wonderful man who eventually led me out of the church. Most YW aren't as lucky. I got married in the Dallas temple 12 years ago. I shared the bride's room with a buch of other brides and their mothers that day. I didn't feel special at all. My dress had tons of little buttons up the back. It took my mom a long time to button it up. Finally when I had my dress on, the matron informed me that my long sleeves were too see through and I needed to put additional sleeves underneath. You can imagine my frustration and my mom's when asked to unfasten and refasten all those buttons again. Then I was horrified when I learned that the first time my new hubby would see me in my dress it would be covered up with that awful temple garb with the green apron. I also couldn't understand why I had to veil my face with that ugly cotton veil. I couldn't see my hubby during the ceremony. I couldn't wait to get out of my outfit. I also remember with pangs of guilt how I walked out in the lobby to see my dad who was not deemed worthy to see his oldest daughter married. He said with tears in his eyes, "so you're married now huh?" I was grumpy and hot while taking pictures outside. It was August in Texas and I was wearing a long sleeved dress, need I say more. I remember going to my nevermo best friends wedding that summer as well. I felt guilty at the time for being envious of her wedding. I thinking more and more about renewing my vows. I can wear the dress I want, invite the people I want and get married where I want. What a novel idea. Too bad I didn't think of that 12 years ago! |
| Subject: | bookworm, I feel your pain! Literally! |
| Date: | Jan 13 17:41 |
| Author: | tude |
| You should read my post in the "I wonder if any Mormon
bride has ever walked out of her wedding..." thread that 'notamormon'
started. I was also married in the Dallas, TX temple at the end of August in
'93. It was the worst day of my life! It was soooo incredibly hot and humid
and it was TORTURE having to wear my garments, pantyhose, thick embroidered
long sleeved wedding dress with a built-in long train that I had to carry
over my arm, extra ruffles underneath to make my dress more poofy, the
dickie because the temple workers decided my perfectly modest dress was
showing way too much of the base of my neck, the robes, sash, apron, as well
as that stupid temple veil that I couldn't see a damn thing through! And
let's not even get started with the whole picture thing! Ever since that day, every time I attended a wedding or reception that was half as good as mine I would get so upset that I would have to leave early so everyone there wouldn't see me burst into tears. I would go home and cry my eyes out the rest of the night! It makes me so sad to hear that so many other women out there had a horrible wedding experience also! My DH and I are definitely planning on renewing our vows sometime in the near future! I hope you do the same so you can replace those awful memories with some happy ones! :o) tude |
| Subject: | ugh, bride's room |
| Date: | Jan 13 11:59 |
| Author: | Tessa girl |
| All I remember is a glorified nursing room (you know,
the room in the church by the womens bathroom that had a chair so the moms
could sit and nurse their babies.) I don't remember ever being told that it was the most beautiful room in the temple. It pretty much was a long counter with rows of mirrors, and chairs. Wow, I really don't remember a whole lot. Maybe my subconscious is trying to block out all my painful memories from that day :) But, frankly, it was so unremarkably, just an ugly beige room like all the other rooms in the temple. And maybe an ugly vase with some ugly dried flowers in it. And the temple matrons were only there to see that you kept the time schedule, my mom and sisters were the ones doing all the work, putting all those silly clothes on me. |
| Subject: | I do remember being told it was special--and I toured the |
| Date: | Jan 13 12:18 |
| Author: | cl2 |
| Logan and Seattle temples before I got married. Those
brides' rooms, from what I remember, were light mauve (the #1 color of the
time). I had purchased my wedding gown from ZCMI. The women there said I
didn't need the sleeves lined (but did get the "bodice and back" lined. My
mother is not very good in social situations--so I really didn't want her
there (and hard of hearing)--but she was there and not much help (usually
isn't). I always feel when I go places with her that I'm the mother and she
is the child. I would have liked to have someone else there--but then she
would have been offended. So--then the old biddies decided my sleeves were too see-through and had little conference after little conference--bringing in other temple workers to check to make sure (they were lace--heavy lace--not sheer). THEN the officiator went on and on and on and on with us kneeling at the alter. When you spend that much time on your knees--what happens? No--I didn't faint, but one of my legs started to twitch--harder and harder and harder. One of our friends said it looked like I had some wild animal under my dress. By the time the officiator asked me the "question"--I was almost passing out and I hesitated. My husband to be said, "You can't back out now"--I probably should have. No--it wasn't WONDERFUL. At least I didn't take out my endowment that day. The reception was better. I have very little memory of the temple actually. Except that my friend's fourth husband came up and grabbed me and kissed me. I about barfed. My husband about barfed when his dad hugged him (his dad was a pathetic old pervert--who served as a bishop for 9 years). |
| Subject: | This is what I remember, and it wasn't good... |
| Date: | Jan 13 14:18 |
| Author: | Kirsten |
| Being rushed and hurried through the Salt Lake Temple.
It was a Saturday morning and there were about a zillion other stupid,
young, naive girls being hurried through at the same time. The temple workers were crabby (think grocery store clerks during rush) and the only time they noticed me was to tell me that I had to put a cloth "modesty" thing in the front of my dress. My dress was not low cut AT ALL but apparently it was a little too sexy for them! So I take this drab piece of cloth and stick it into the front of my dress and the whole time I'm thinking "I wonder how many other people have had to wear THIS thing - yuck!" But, of course, I didn't say anything because I was TBM and I didn't question authority. When I recall the experience now, it is just so sad. There is nothing special about a temple wedding. And, to answer your question - Yes, I had heard how wonderful it all was. Just another one of their many lies. |
| Subject: | Re: Okay all You Temple Brides. Tell us boys something. |
| Date: | Jan 13 15:56 |
| Author: | Claudia Banghead |
| Special? Hardly. Like others who have replied I felt hustled and hurried along. It didn't help that I arrived a few minutes late to my appointed time. I thought that was the only reason I had been rushed through. Apparently not. I got married in Oakland in 1980. I was 23. I don't remember a lot about the room other than a counter (tables?) with mirrors. Must not have been anything remarkable. It seems like I started out in the locker room, got undressed for the initiatory, THEN into the brides room. My mom was there with me--thank god--or I would have been pretty confused. My future MIL was also there which seemed weird to me as I'd only met her a few days before. But they both seemed to think they needed to help me dress. I thought that meant getting me into my gown, and helping with my veil, etc. But they were pretty insistent that I needed help with everything. After all, I'd never worn garments before, and getting pantyhose over your garments is a real challenge apparently. And my veil was inappropriate, you'd think my mom would have told me I wasn't going to actually be able to wear it for the ceremony. I had to go into the restroom to use my curling iron and fix my hair after the ceremony because of the dorky veil I had to wear and there were no outlets in the bride's room for that sort of thing. I would much rather have had my sisters there with me, but none of them had been to the temple--they were all younger than me. What I do remember vividly was the temple worker being very concerned with my garments. This was when two piece garments were fairly new and she just couldn't get the top to lay right. She kept putting her hand down my pantyhose to try and straighten the top because there was a wrinkle in it! I was really uncomfortable with that, but neither my mom, nor my future MIL (who was a temple worker herself) seemed to see this as a problem. THAT was their main concern. I think that was the whole purpose of the temple worker that day was making sure I was wearing my garments "correctly" and that my gown was "appropriate." How special is that? Contrast that with my daughter's Not-a-Temple-Wedding last summer. She, her sister, myself, and two future SILs getting ready in our little 1-1/2 bath house. But everyone was laughing, and doing hair, and taking pictures, and looking for ribbons and safety pins, and it was FUN. Even with it being a little hectic. |
| Subject: | Re: Okay all You Temple Brides. Tell us boys something. |
| Date: | Jan 13 16:51 |
| Author: | austin |
| second the Dallas Temple brides hallway, not a room, a hallway. when i got married women going to and from sessions kept going thru the room, it was awful. when my best friend got married in the san antonio temple, the brides room was this giant room with two mirrors and then a small regular bathroom. we started to change her and then were informed by a matron that it was only appropriate for her to change in the bathroom!! so in this giant room all we did was straighten wrinkles, we had to do everything in the bathroom!! when i went to the Washington DC temple later i snuck in the brides room, it was huge with a three way mirror and lots of plugins for curling irons and things...i was so mad!! on our 10th annviversary we are considering a vow renewal. |
| Subject: | I wonder if any Mormon bride has ever walked out of her wedding when she saw the ridiculous fig leaf |
| Date: | Jan 12 00:28 |
| Author: | notamormon |
| I can't imagine spending a fortune and hours picking out the perfect dress, only to cover it with a green apron. Weird. I know there's a lifetime of brainwashing involved, but seriously, I wonder if it's ever happened. |
| Subject: | Notamormon, you have NO IDEA how tempted I was! |
| Date: | Jan 12 01:36 |
| Author: | Just Little Ol' Me Not Logged In |
| I HATED/LOATHED/DESPISED my entire wedding day from
beginning to end. I could NOT BELIEVE all the CRAP they put on me, including
a little fake dickey-thing to cover up my front (and I wasn't even showing
cleavage). They covered every ounce of me and I felt so ugly on a day that I
wanted to feel beautiful. Not only that, they were angry old ladies working
that day (I think something like 29 brides went through that day... a lot
for the temple) and their tone was just plain old rude. I do remember crying. I spent the rest of my TBM life "covering" myself ... and therefore not really caring about myself ... and gaining weight, and feeling like a big nothing. Now that I am FREE of the morg ... the LESS CLOTHING I can have on, the BETTER!!! Here's to FREEDOM! |
| Subject: | She would be my hero! I felt like running, too, and it was one of the worst days of my life. |
| Date: | Jan 12 01:52 |
| Author: | forestpal |
| My daughter's wedding wasn't much better. I was on one
side, and the groom's mother was on the other side, and the two of us
couldn't get her clothes on and off and on again and sideways fast enough.
We couldn't even catch a glimpse of the groom on the far side of the room. The temple was jam-packed, too, on her day, and we were run through like it was a wedding-mill assembly line--rush, rush, and we didn't have time to comb our hair or go to the bathroom, not that there were any chairs or toilets available, anyway. My daughter mentioned several times that she wondered what all her brothers and her father and her bridesmaids and the groom's brothers were doing, outside, in the waiting-room/holding-pen, and if they were feeling bad. It was an inhumane and unromantic ordeal. My daughter ended up crying, too. She said, "I never thought I would CRY on my wedding day!" She loved her reception, though, and the honeymoon--everything but that goofy ceremony. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, too. Even though we may not find a bride who actually ran out of the temple, it would be very interesting to find out how many of us WANTED to leave the ceremony. Maybe that's why they take away our shoes and clothes, and lock us in. /\-/\ .o.o >*< |
| Subject: | My wife was tempted. |
| Date: | Jan 12 01:52 |
| Author: | steve allen |
| She told me that if she could have talked to me, she
would have told us to leave. She was really freaked out. We went to the temple one more time and that was it. Mentally I was already out, but it was the temple that let me take my wife with me. |
| Subject: | My mother burst out laughing! |
| Date: | Jan 12 02:37 |
| Author: | forestpal |
| I forgot this story. When my mother saw my father in that baker's hat thing with the tassels, she burst out laughing, and couldn't stop! They didn't go to the temple after that, except for their children's weddings. |
| Subject: | Oh GAWD ... that ugly get up! When I saw my "new husband" my first thought was ... |
| Date: | Jan 12 02:46 |
| Author: | Just Little Ol' Me Not Logged In |
| ...I've got to have SEX with this guy? That whole thing was SUCH a TURN OFF! And the garmies didn't help, either! No wonder our sex life STUNK!!!! (Stank? ..Stinked? ... SUCKED, yeah ... that's it!) |
| Subject: | My hubby and I... |
| Date: | Jan 13 17:08 |
| Author: | tude |
| My hubby and I went back to the temple one week after
we were sealed. We were asked to sit in as proxy for a few sealings for the
dead. We were kneeling at the altar and came to the part where I was
supposed to say 'yes' and looked at my DH who then made a funny face, as if
he didn't look ridiculous enough in his temple get-up. I burst out in
uncontrollable laughter which made my hubby start laughing and needless to
say the old man performing the sealing was not amused at all by our
'light-mindedness and loud laughter'. It took quite a few minutes for us to
finally regain our composure. We got dirty looks from the temple workers who
were in the room with us for the rest of the time! :o) tude |
| Subject: | My sister who is only 17 months older than I, but got married |
| Date: | Jan 12 02:59 |
| Author: | cl2 |
| about 7 or 8 years before I did--she went to the SL
temple and took her endowment out that day, too. I saw her when she got home
(she left early in the morning--got back to Brigham at 5 p.m.)--she had this
"vacant" look in her eyes. She looked traumatized enough that I KNEW THEN
AND THERE I wouldn't do my endowment the same day as my wedding--so my
wedding day was at least free of all that. The people at my wedding ceremony
were even able to wear street clothes. It wasn't that long ago that my dad was taking about his wedding day in the SL temple--how bizarre it was (he didn't serve a mission so hadn't been through before). |
| Subject: | My dad thought it was a joke.... |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:13 |
| Author: | Hap E. Heretic |
| My dad told me he didn't like his wedding at the S.L.
Temple at all. He thought it was a big joke. He tried to remain active in the church, but couldn't buy it, and bailed out about 40 years ago. I'm so grateful for what I've learned about the temple ceremony on this board, not to mention the Mormon church in general. All the robes, chanting and utter lack of atmosphere sound about as romantic as a fraternity hazing. I'm looking forward to a lovely wedding far away from an L.D.S. temple or chapel, thank you! |
| Subject: | Re: I wonder if any Mormon bride has ever walked out of her wedding when she saw the ridiculous fig |
| Date: | Jan 12 03:09 |
| Author: | m |
| I didn't marry in the temple but I was sealed to my
parents when I was 13. The second I walked into the sealing room and saw my mom and our bishop (who was proxy for my recently dead father) in those stupid, foolish outfits, I knew the temple was pure crap. Why don't people talk about it? I understand sacredness but damn, how about warning people about freaky rituals and horrible costumes? |
| Subject: | Re: I wonder if any Mormon bride has ever walked out of her wedding when she saw the ridiculous fig |
| Date: | Jan 12 15:29 |
| Author: | Drai |
| This is awful, but the fig leaf apron thing reminded me of a hilarious (in retrospect) event that was a turning point in my journey out. My TBM friend's grandma died when we were in college. We both had doubts about the Church at this point--me moreso than her, probably, but anyway... Being a good friend, I drove her home and went to the wake with her. I don't know if this is a regular thing, but the grandma was buried in her temple attire, including the fig leaf apron. After we'd gone up to the casket and my friend looked at her grandma for the last time, she looked at me through tear-filled eyes and said, "What the HELL is my grandma wearing???" I kind of shrugged my shoulders in what I hoped was a sympathetic gesture, and then we both spent the rest of the time in a really uncomfortable state, trying not to laugh and cry at the same time. |
| Subject: | If only I knew then what I know now... |
| Date: | Jan 12 04:05 |
| Author: | tude |
| My wedding day, the day I had dreamed about my whole
life, was also the worst day of my life! I was made to wear that dickie
thing, also, even though my wedding dress did not show anything it wasn't
supposed to. I had absolutely no help getting ready and felt very rushed and
lost. Before we were actually wed, the old man who performed the sealing had
my soon-to-be hubby and I sit on a small white sofa and went on and on and
on and on for what seemed like forever. I was so tired and overwhelmed as we
had done our endowments in the very last session the night before and had
not gotten any sleep because we were the first couple scheduled to be sealed
that next morning, that I LITERALLY had to told my eyelids open until the
112yr old fart was finished with whatever it was he had been blathering on
about. I was married in the Dallas, TX temple at the very end of August and that small, cramped, full to the brim sealing room was so hot and stuffy that I almost passed out while kneeling there in my long-sleeved wedding dress with the dickie and my temple garb on also. The sealing itself took all of 2 minutes before my hubby and I were whisked away into separate parts of the temple to get ready for our pictures. I again was left with no one to help me get beautified for my wedding pictures, when all the while old ladies would come in every 5 seconds to tell me to hurry up so the next cow-er I mean bride-could use the one small room they had for our most special day. We then were shuffled outside to take pictures in the unbearably hot, humid, 100 degree Texas weather in our thick long sleeved clothes. Our reception was that same afternoon in the Shreveport, LA Stake building. It normally took 3 hours to get there from the Dallas temple and we had left a little late. About an hour into the drive there we got a flat tire on a part of the interstate that was in the middle of nowhere. My hubby had to get out into the heat and change the tire while I melted in the car. By the time we finally made it to the reception, we were 2 hours late and everyone, not knowing about the flat tire, was making jokes and insinuating that the reason we were late was because we were in such a hurry to have sex that we must have stopped on the side of the road to get it over with. I ran into the bathroom to hurry up and get my wedding dress back on and in comes my mother and MIL. I asked them to help me with my dress and hair but they were so worried about themselves and how they looked that they blew me off and didn't help me with a damn thing! Then, in the middle of our reception, my TBM mother who LOVES to be the center of attention and uses EVERY occasion to put herself in the spotlight, wheels the piano into the middle of the cultural hall and starts playing and singing at the top of her lungs. Some of my siblings decided they wanted a piece of the glory also and chimed in as well. I was so upset! You can even see me on our wedding video crying to my father, begging him to make them stop all the while they are in the background singing away! By the time the whole thing was over, my hubby and I were so upset and exhausted that we didn't even consummate the marriage until the next day. All we wanted to do was go to sleep and we were DEFINITELY not in the mood after everything we had just been through. We never even had any of our wedding photos enlarged as that day and anything to do with it still brings tears to my eyes! We always said we would elope if we could do it all over and even suggested it to other TBM friends and family who got married after we did, not that they took our advice. We plan on having a REAL ceremony to replace that terrible day with just a few close non-TBM friends and family somewhere outside and beautiful like the beach or the mountains. This year will be our 15th wedding anniversary so perhaps we will do it then! Rest assured that wherever and whenever we decide do it, I will have the wedding of my dreams. Then I can replace that awful memory with a wonderful one and I might just smile when I think of my wedding rather than cry! |
| Subject: | tude, sorry for your horrific day |
| Date: | Jan 12 12:27 |
| Author: | cl2 |
| You brought back some memories of my own--although I
actually look back on it with fondness (and we aren't even "together" any
longer--if you read the board, you'll know why). Anyway--my family vanished.
I set up my own reception ALONE while they went to the wedding breakfast,
which I missed. Nobody could figure out what happened to me???? BUT, you might ask I believe "Punky's dilema" as she re-did her marriage vows just recently and, from what I read, it turned out really WONDERFUL. She had some really good ideas (and I believe she even surprised her husband with it). |
| Subject: | TUDE!!!! OMG, I can't BELIEVE IT! It was almost like reading my own story! |
| Date: | Jan 12 14:54 |
| Author: | Just Little Ol' Me Not Logged In |
| There are SO MANY similarities, including being "late"
(well, we weren't, but apparently one of the relatives had to leave early,
so they started our wedding brunch without us)...and we got "razzed" about
the sex thing, too ... all the while we had been standing in front of the
temple in SNOW (I had on sandals) getting our pictures taken ...! And yes,
everything that could have gone wrong, DID ...I attributed it to the fact
(notion) Satan KNEW we would be a strong couple and was trying to keep us
apart. Little did I know hubby would turn into an abusive POS that would end
up leaving me several years (and a few children) later. So, it wasn't Satan
... but my inner voice, saying, "RUNNNNNNN!" I was too mindf*cked to know
the difference THEN! And yes, I was SO EXHAUSTED (I had even done my endowments the week before ... can't imagine doing them all in the same day ...) that the LAST thing I wanted to do was have OBLIGATORY sex (besides, he'd been an ass to me at the reception and I was already crying). Then, AFTER the sex ... I was like ... OMG ... THAT'S IT!???? I WANNA GO BACK HOME TO MOMMA AND LIVE ALONE! LOL! I was SO PISSED at the whole experience that I wanted to hunt down my Young Women's (MIA back then) leaders and rip them a new asshole for telling me how "Beautiful/Spiritual/Special" the temple was ...!AARRGGGHH!!! There is SO MUCH more, but you get the gist!! Wow ... can you believe it? They should have WARNING SIGNS posted everywhere! |
| Subject: | Re: TUDE!!!! OMG, I can't BELIEVE IT! It was almost like reading my own story! |
| Date: | Jan 12 21:39 |
| Author: | tude |
| I was thinking the exact same thing when I read your
story! I also attributed all the problems we had to 'Satan'. Even the day
before our wedding went horribly wrong! We were driving to the Dallas temple
from Monroe, LA and were supposed to go through the 6:00pm session to take
out our endowments. Most of the trip there went OK, but when we got to the
outskirts of Dallas we ran into a HUGE traffic jam because of a really bad
wreck that must have stretched on for 20 miles. My soon-to-be hubby kept
saying,"All I know is this temple thing better be all it's cracked up to
be!" Obviously it wasn't! We missed the session we were scheduled for and BARELY got to the temple in time to buy our garments, do the washing and anointing, and make it to the last session of the night. The old temple workers kept scolding us for being late and were very upset at the fact they had to rush us through the whole ordeal. We weren't even allowed to spend any time in the Celestial Room. By the time we got out of the temple it was 10:00pm and my DH and I just wanted to go to the hotel so we could at least get a few hours of sleep but, my family who doesn't give a shit about anyone else but themselves insisted we go to Olive Garden for a celebratory dinner. We got to Olive Garden about 15min before they were about to close but my father made them serve all 20 of us who were there anyway. The food was old and disgusting and cold. We finally got to our hotel rooms at about 2:00am and by the time I unpacked, washed my face, got changed for bed in my wonderful brand new garments I had all of 45min to get some sleep before I had to wake up and get ready for my big day. Ah! The memories! |
| Subject: | Re: I wonder if any Mormon bride has ever walked out of her wedding when she saw the ridiculous fig |
| Date: | Jan 12 11:22 |
| Author: | pioneer stock |
| One of my nephews married a girl from Brazil that he
converted. It was at the Jordan River Temple. The bride's parents were
waiting outside with us and the rest of the heathens. The bride quit in the
middle and wanted to run away. The temple folks and the groom's mother spent
over an hour trying to talk her into finishing. She finally agreed. They had a lot of problems but are still married. |
| Subject: | Re: I wonder if any Mormon bride has ever walked out of her wedding when she saw the ridiculous fig leaf |
| Date: | Jan 12 15:05 |
| Author: | Christy219 |
| I easily could have. I was mortified, ashamed, and
felt utterly betrayed by those I had spent my lifetime looking up to. I knew
immediately that Joseph Smith made that crap up (or ripped it off, as I
learned later on). I couldn't muster a smile or make eye contact with my
husband as we were sealed because I felt so ridiculous. I am very grateful that we had been married civilly a year before. I was fortunate to get a dream-day wedding. Otherwise, I would be a lot more angry about it. The worst thing was that as soon as my husband and I were together in the endowment room, he whispered to me, "I didn't know we were going to make pizza in the temple." I laugh at that now, but at the time it just about killed me. I don't mean to sound like a drama queen, but it was overwhelming in a bad way. I am so sorry for brides and groom who experience that as THE wedding. |
| Subject: | tude, that is one of the saddest, saddest stories I've ever read on RfM . . . |
| Date: | Jan 12 15:10 |
| Author: | JackMormon'sWife |
| What a nightmare! I live in the deep South, too, and I totally understand the wilting August heat. I bet your make-up was running down your face while your husband changed that tire, from both the humidity and your tears. Poor thing. I swear I wish I could give you a hug right now. ((((( ))))) "Our" temple is three hours away, too. I've often wondered about the hassle the young brides around here have to go through to get their endowments, get sealed, rush home to a separate reception etc. It never has seemed very romantic to me -- just incredibly stressful. I believe that those in the Morridor don't "get" how difficult it is to simply live the mechanics of Mormonism someplace else. There's not a ward meeting house on every block or a Temple within easy driving distance. I personally don't believe that Mormonism translates into a "world-wide" religion very well. I believe the Mormon church has a one-size-fits-all mentality. There are true hardships involved for us who live outside of Utah. (For example, the number and intensity of your callings goes up exponentially the further away you get from Utah). I can just picture you suffocating to death inside the Temple and dripping wet outside the Temple in your long-sleeved modest wedding gown with hose and GARMENTS on underneath! I could barely tolerate garments when I wore them in the Southern heat with shorts and a T-shirt! You write very well and I can visualize the whole entire sad, frenzied, confusing ordeal. My girls can wear halter-top wedding gowns in this heat if they want when they get married. Heck, they can even get married barefoot on the beach if they want to (plenty of people do!) I just want them to be happy. And your wedding day SHOULD be the happiest day of your life. I'm sorry for you that it wasn't. I genuinely hope you and your husband have had a beautiful marriage to make up for such a lousy start. For some reason, I'm betting I'll remember your story when my first daughter gets married -- I promise I won't drag out a piano for a sing-along or do anything outrageous that calls attention to ME instead of the bride on my child's wedding day. I strongly ecourage you to renew your wedding vows and make it the ceremony you *wished* you'd had 15 years ago. Shannon ;o) |
| Subject: | Re: tude, that is one of the saddest, saddest stories I've ever read on RfM . . . |
| Date: | Jan 12 21:57 |
| Author: | tude |
| Shannon, thank you for the hug! I am so glad your
girls won't have to go through the whole temple ordeal! I have 2 younger
sisters who also were married in the temple. I tried really hard to at least
make their receptions a good memory. My mother was extremely angry at the
fact that I would not allow her to steal the spotlight at their weddings.
She certainly tried her hardest, though! The wedding day should be about the
people who are getting married and not about ANYONE or ANYTHING else! My hubby and I will definitely have a do-over! I'll let you guys know when we finally do! And THIS time we will DEFINITELY be in 'the mood' after! ;) |
| Subject: | When I was a young single adult |
| Date: | Jan 13 01:18 |
| Author: | apostate |
| I was at the temple doing baptisms and everyone acted
like it was a pain because I wasn't "endowed" (though I do have big boobs,
just to be clear) and baptisms are for the youth as everyone knows and not
for young adult women who should be married already and haven't gone through
the temple. So anyway, I was basically on my own and not in a group and I took a wrong turn and bumped into a guy wearing the green apron and the whole getup. I was like WTF! Totally unprepared. It was weird. |
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