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Subject: |
LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 12, 2006 |
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Author: |
Peter Priesthood |
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I'm curious, who else among you who served full-time
missions experienced mild to severe depression after you returned home from
your mission? I experienced full-blown severe depression about three months
after my mission due to cognitive dissonance and because I was beginning to
sort out the Mormon issues one by one. Then there were several family crises
which further worsened my severe depression and my depression became so bad
that I had to check myself into a clinic six months after my mission. I was
diagnosed with clinical depression and I have been taking anti-depressants
since. I have a few more months more to go on my medications, and my
day-to-day mood has improved since I stumbled upon exmormon.org more than a
year after I returned home from that darn mission. |
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Subject: |
depression and prostate problems |
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Date: |
Sep 12 07:10 |
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Author: |
lightfingerlouie |
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I did, and got help for it. It was hard going for a few
months. |
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Subject: |
"We have ways of dealing with Dr's like
that"???? What? Horses head in his bed? |
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Under any reading THAT is a direct threat. I do hope you
passed it on to your urologist. |
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Subject: |
I was depressed during and after the mission |
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Date: |
Sep 12 09:12 |
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Author: |
anon on this |
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My lowest day was a pday when our district was playing
volleyball at the chapel. I was too depressed to play so I was sitting on the
sidewalk listlessly watching the others. A huge dump truck pulled into the
area to unload some supplies. It started to back up right next to where I was
sitting. I didn't move because I honestly was thinking that it might actually
feel good for the enormous truck to roll over me and squeeze all the pain and
misery out of me. |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 12 09:21 |
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Author: |
Crathes |
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I did not eat for a week after I got home. On the other
hand, this was from culture shock and the total and immediate change in life
style. I was back to normal in less than three weeks (well, at least as
normal as I ever am!). |
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Subject: |
Something stinks |
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Date: |
Sep 12 10:09 |
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Author: |
NoToJoe |
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I don’t know why but there are a lot of people who
struggle with depression or other mental issues while on the mission but are
perfectly fine in normal life. I served in Argentina in the early ‘90s and
personally knew 5 people who had problems way beyond depression. |
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Subject: |
Re: I remember that suicide. |
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Date: |
Sep 12 10:35 |
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Author: |
MishMagnet |
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I remember when that happened as I was at BYU. It was 90
or 91?? I remember reading about it in the Daily Planet but assumed it was an
older guy. I'm quite certain it never said he'd just returned from a mission,
just that he had been suffering from depression. Kind of a convenient fact to
leave out if you ask me. |
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Subject: |
It took me about a year to adapt to normal life |
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Date: |
Sep 12 10:44 |
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Author: |
Primus |
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It was hard. I felt out of sorts. Everything was just
weird. My companion though from the MTC had an unrepented of sin when he went
into his mission. He confessed to MTC President, who let him continue on his
mission, but the guy was never the same. It got so bad he was sleeping each
night in his full suit, and would tract from 8 in the morning until 9 at
night. NO OTHER type of work or rest. His companions needless to say wanted
to kill him. Talking to him was weird too. He acted like the most 'spiritual'
guy. Everything he said sounded like it had to be some profound prophetic
thing. He NEVER just let loose or slacked off. Even the HARDCORE missionaries
who worked hard were afraid of being with him. |
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Subject: |
My mission companion committed suicide... |
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Date: |
Sep 12 11:55 |
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Author: |
Fallible |
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just a few months after returning home. We served together
for a few months as ZL's. He was from California and was released sometime in
'78. I tried to find out the reason why but never could. |
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Subject: |
This happened to my nephew |
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Date: |
Sep 12 12:14 |
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Author: |
NAZnevermo |
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He was on his mission in VA. He had a huge amount of
depression. He would send letters home to his mom, my SIL, that told her how
he just wanted to die. He could barely function and he too was sent home
early. |
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Subject: |
I'm wondering..... |
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Date: |
Sep 12 12:37 |
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Author: |
Hotwaterblue |
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....was it the "Mission" or "Home"
that created the depression? |
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Subject: |
I wonder if it isn't expected? |
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Date: |
Sep 12 13:11 |
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Author: |
AtT |
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I never served a mission, served my country instead so I
can't relate directly to this thread. But once when I was living near
Kirtland Ohio, I was pre-assigned a HT companion who was returning from a
South American mission the next week. |
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Subject: |
my brother in law left his mission early because of
severe depression. n/t |
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Date: |
Sep 12 13:22 |
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Author: |
herswansong |
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Subject: |
"The Brethren" have got to know (1 cuss word) |
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Date: |
Sep 12 13:32 |
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Author: |
king noah |
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They must know how damaging these missions are to the
mental states of the young missionaries. I saw a way higher percentage of
depressed people than in everyday normal life. I suffered from depression
while I was on the mish. The constant guilt and pressure from on high. We could
never do anything like communicate with our families by phone..that didn't
help the depression at all. |
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Subject: |
My LDS therapist was useless... |
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Date: |
Sep 13 02:05 |
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Author: |
Jon-D |
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I was so depressed by my mission that I had to go and see
a therapist. My mom found an LDS therapist for me in some small town in
Virginia, but he was such a TBM that he wasn't able to help me at all. I did
continue to take medications, but what really relieved my depression was
participating in discussion boards like RfM that dealt with Mormon issues
head on instead of beating around the bush and sugar coating issues like in
the mainstream Mormon Church. What ultimately healed me was coming to terms
with my unhappiness in the Church and and with its doctrines and finding
other like-minded people on discussion boards like this. Thanks RfM! |
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Subject: |
I got in an argument with my Psychiatrist about the
cause of my depression. |
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Date: |
Sep 13 03:33 |
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Author: |
jarjeff |
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I got really depressed on my mission while I was stuck
with a backwoods-Arkansas on-leave-from-the-US-Army IQ-of-40 companion. At
the same time I got letters from both my parents telling me they were
separating. Then that same month my girlfriend sent me a letter telling me that
she was dating some other guy quite seriously. Needless to say bringing
people to christ wasn't what was on my mind! I got to the point where I found
it difficult to function. So I called the MP and said that I was very
depressed. He sent me to the unofficial mission shrink. I told the guy that I
was unhappy because of my situation. He told me my synapses could use a
greater concentration of seratonin, and then I'd be just fine. I told him
that was crap and that I was depressed because I was being forced to live in
horrible conditions. Anyway, I started taking Zoloft or Paxil or something
and I saw no improvement. A few weeks later when I was trying to sleep late
one morning, my companion threw water on my face to try to get me to start
moving. So I punched him in the side of the head. As you can imagine he
didn't like that too much, but I was bigger than him so he didn't try to
retaliate. I called the MP again and told him that my comp needed to be
transfered or I was quitting. Pres was actually pretty good about it. He
didn't even tell me I shouldn't have hit him. So over the next few days I got
a new companion, my girlfriend called(!) me to tell me she was no longer
dating this guy and that she was still going to wait for me. And guess what?
I wasn't depressed anymore! I also didn't do a whole lot in the way of
missionary work for the remaining 3 or 4 months of my mission, but that's
another story. |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 13 03:37 |
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Author: |
Fedelm |
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My TBM ex had a friend who committed suicide shortly after
getting back from his mission. From what I heard, the RM definitely had
depression and was seeing a LDS "therapist." |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 13 04:32 |
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Author: |
GT |
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I went on my mission to escape reality, I thought that I
could hide for 2 years and that meant that I wouldn't have to live on my own,
or support myself. Also, I didn't believe the religion. I had read so much
"anti" mormon lit that I couldn't. Well, after being there for some
months, I couldn't escape all the weird stories told by all the mormons
around me testifying to the truthfulness of the church, so eventually I was
brainwashed into believing because I had no other way out. After I committed
myself to the mission, I began taking things too seriously and actually
believing in Mormonism, which is against my nature. Within a month or so of
being with a super TBM hardcore missionary, I lost it and thought I was
seeing angels and demons, thought I had special powers, etc. |
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Subject: |
Sounds like the mission pushed you over the edge. |
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Date: |
Sep 14 17:18 |
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Author: |
KonaGold |
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Based on what you said happened when you "lost
it", and based on your subsequent diagnosis of being bi-polar, my best
guess is that you do in fact have a chemical imbalance and that you need the
meds to correct that. The stress that your mission caused brought your
problem to a critical point, but I also suspect that if the mission had not
done that then something else later in life would have caused you a crisis.
So it is really good that you were diagnosed and are now taking the meds.
That should allow you to live a "normal" life (whatever that might
be -- I am no expert on that topic). |
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Subject: |
Re: Sounds like the mission pushed you over the edge. |
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Date: |
Sep 15 01:11 |
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Author: |
|
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It indeed sounds like the mission pushed this poster over
the edge, but with all due respect, the rest of this "best guess"
sounds like an insensitive speculation - which belittles the extent of the
injury caused by environmental factors, blaming it on some "inherent
defect" within the person (a "chemical imbalance" you alleged
long-distance) which "would've happened later one way or the
other". |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 14 15:28 |
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Author: |
peteywheatstraw |
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I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one. After one month in
Peru I think I had a nervous breakdown. the combined pressure of having to
learn everything from the language to what I was suppose to do with all the
expectations drove me over the edge. I spent three days in bed not really
knowing what was wrong with me. After i finally coaxed myself out of bed I
was like a zombie walking around the dirt streets. |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 14 16:06 |
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Author: |
sal |
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I think it was the extreme guilt that led to my mission
depression. |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 15 00:31 |
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Author: |
G. Michael Pace |
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I was a missionary in Brazil, '64-67. Perhaps pressures
then were less than now because RM clinical depression was either rare or
kept hush-hush. |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 15 01:08 |
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Author: |
sum1 |
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I participate on a forum where there are a lot of devout
mothers of LDS missionaries. I am amazed at the naivety of the moms of
knowing what life is like for their missionary sons/daughters. The
expectations of family, I think, could definitely be unbearable. |
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Subject: |
I remember overdosing on the Prozac they prescribed me |
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Date: |
Sep 15 01:28 |
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Author: |
Nitty |
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I struggled with depression all through my teenage years,
and was very suicidal. This was partly because I knew how much God hated me.
I really shouldn't have even gone, but the Brethren said every worthy male
should go, and if I didn't God would hate me even more. So I went to Tijuana,
got so suicidal that I just up and left on a bus back to the U.S. after only
a week. Those months I was home were the roughest times I've ever had. Thank
goodness I had a good non-LDS friend who told me I was still a good person. |
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Subject: |
Re: I remember overdosing on the Prozac they prescribed
me |
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Date: |
Sep 15 05:27 |
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Author: |
GT |
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I'm sorry about your predicament. But with mental illness,
I've found that staying out of the church is the best thing and not trying to
pretend or force yourself to believe. Everytime I do, I run into the same
problems again. Having to stretch your mind around all the blatant falsehoods
in the church is very stressful. Plus, in my case with bipolar disorder, I
seek out the very supernatural in the teachings of the church. In that, I am
somewhat happier because I believe that God will provide for my needs, set me
up with a wife, set me up with a good job but it's deceptive because nothing
comes in this life without effort. You end up believing one day you will
receive all the things you want if you are righteous, but in reality that's
not the way life works. For me, I would end up twenty years from now saying
where is everything the church promised me? |
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Subject: |
Re: LDS Missions and Depression |
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Date: |
Sep 15 09:45 |
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Author: |
Shadowofadoubt |
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I saw several examples of what I now understand must have
been manifestations of extreme depression from other missionaries, both
elders and sisters. And I also believe that I was more or less mildly
depressed the whole time. I was already starting to doubt the MORG and that,
combined with unconfessed "sins," meant that I lived in constant
guilt, and the feeling that I was letting down the church, its leaders and my
parents. In the latter respect, I was also pretty much working through the
idea that this would be my final act of filial obedience/sacrifice (which it
was, as I kind of went off the deep end shortly after my return). So in a
sense, although I hated my mission I also did not want it to end because I
dreaded the hurt and pain I was going to cause when the showdown about that
arrived. No-one knew any of this as it was all internalized and I'm sure I
seemed as happy, friendly etc. as any other mish (and it's terribly sad when
I now realize that many others must have been suffering just as much if not
much more than me). Also, amazingly despite the foregoing,I was a fairly
dutiful missionary for the MORG, spouting the party line, working the hours
etc etc. I suppose I was sufficiently brainwashed that doing anything else
just didn't seem like an option at the time. So, yeah, I was pretty F'd up. |
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