| Subject: | 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 02:06 |
| Author: | kc |
| Hi, I am new here. I am 34, divorced and I have been
inactive for 6 months, and am afraid. It seems everything I have
believed in and based my life around for 15 years, is a lie. How can I
trust my own judgment anymore? What do I do now? I have not 'left' the
church because of my children but I am teetering on whether to go back
or stay away. Any friends, help, support would be so appreciated. I feel
so alone. I posted more of my story on the Story board if anyone is
interested. kc |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 02:14 |
| Author: | Honette |
| Mail Address: |
| It is late and I don't know how many folks are
around just now, but you are in the right place! Lots of people have
been in very similar situations and will have tons of support for you.
It is scary, but you aren't alone. |
| Subject: | Welcome! Here is what I would suggest. |
| Date: | Aug 31 02:17 |
| Author: | Dagny |
| Mail Address: |
| Yes, it is very scary to have your world torn apart.
Many of us know exactly what you are describing! Remember there is no rush to do anything. Just try and take some time for you and your kids to enjoy time together and take things slowly. Continue to read and question. Take your time deciding what you want to do and when, on your terms. Kids are pretty resilient, and they will be OK while you find where you are happy. You can define your own beliefs using different criteria now. Everyone will adjust over time. Figure out what your needs are, and do what you need to do. Take some of that time and energy the church was sucking up and spend it on your kids for a fun Sunday. The kids will probably be happier having fun together. How old are they? As you distance yourself and have time to think, you will trust your judgment again. We were all duped, so don't think it was just you. |
| Subject: | Hey, I like hearing that we were duped together. Makes sense. |
| Date: | Aug 31 18:50 |
| Author: | free |
| BTW, I was 34-35 years old when I finally figured it
out. I had gut instincts all along, but it really never surfaced until I
was your age. |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 02:43 |
| Author: | Tom |
| You can trust your judgment. It got you to this
point. It has broken through all of the brainwashing. Congratulate
yourself and welcome aboard. |
| Subject: | Yes, your judgment has gotten you this far. |
| Date: | Aug 31 08:15 |
| Author: | Stray Mutt |
| Welcome, take a big breath. Yes, it's scary and disorienting when we see through the lies. It can feel like we've lost our reality, but actually, what's gone is the comforting illusion. We imagine there are things (deities, people, institutions, rules) holding us up, protecting us, directing us, watching over us, blessing us. We push forward with life, believing these things are looking after us. I think we're too eager to give credit to others and too reluctant to believe in ourselves. No, we don't go through life alone, but we carry most of our own load, and we do a good job of it. We can take care of ourselves. We can make sound judgments -- particularly when we don't let others do the thinking for us. And we can make better judgments when we don't measure them by the standards of a fantasy world. So, welcome to reality, where the rules are relatively simple and much more reliable. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. |
| Subject: | Hang tight 3/4 and give everybody time to respond. |
| Date: | Aug 31 02:45 |
| Author: | TLC |
|
I feel your pain and understand how difficult things must be for you
right now. You're not alone - many of us here have been through
situations very similar to what you're describing. Don't worry about your kids - they'll probably follow you no matter where you go or what you do. Take them someplace fun on Sundays instead of to church. Let them see that there's a life out there beyond church. You're their mom - they're not going to abandon you. Here's holding you in a good place and sending lots of love and caring your way. Tom |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 08:12 |
| Author: | hermanuno |
| Be patient. Take the time you used to spend on
church stuff and spend it with your kids. Take the money you used to
send in for tithing and put it in savings. After a while you'll notice the world
continued to turn. You were not struck by lightning. You'll soon notice
just how insignificant the church really is in the grand scheme of
things. When the ward hears that you are questioning your faith you may be swarmed with guidance and offers to help with your testimony. Do not be pushed! Tell all that you just want to be left alone and that it goes for your children also. It is quite an adjustment, but not an impossible one. The important thing is to not beat yourself up over time spent in the past on church stuff. It is gone. The future and what you are going to do now is all that is important. There is an old joke about what does a mormon get when they leave the church?? A 10% raise and Sundays off. Maybe not funny anymore but it is true. It is a great feeling when you experience it. Good luck! |
| Subject: | Welcome! You're Among Friends (nt) |
| Subject: | Hugs..... |
| Date: | Aug 31 10:41 |
| Author: | Lesley |
| It sometimes seems more difficult to do something
when you feel that the kids may suffer for a decision. But as one who
has had a lot of changes in the family dynamics, let me relate two
thoughts. First, when I was young, my mother was an uneducated person
(an Hungarian immigrant, with very little English speaking skills, and
with only a 2nd grade education) who felt very little self worth. After
the missionaries convinced her that the whole family would be better off
with mormonism in our lives, she was often patronized and told her worth
was defined by the church (who well described her secondary role in the
life of our family) and by the doctrines of mormonism..and her worth as
a person depended on how well she live by those guides. In hindsight my
mom was totally miserable and probably even depressed. As kids we
avoided our home. It was a sad solemn place to be. Her gradual
transformation to a happy, outgoing, vibrant, welcoming and incredible
woman came when she shed the shackles of her 'prison'. I was never so
glad, and felt safer and more secure in my relationship with my mom,
than when I realized I didn't have to compete for her attention and time
with the church. Her gradual transformation and realization did not seem
to hurt or scare us. On the contrary, we became closer, did more things
together and as the teen years approached, I realized she could relate
better (without judgment) and we talked more frequently and with more
joy and trust. My second example relates to the first. At the time of my moms excommunication (for spreading false doctrine), I didn't realize that it was the lds faith that wore her down. But now as an adult with kids of my own, I can safely state that her love for her children is part of the reason she left the church. I offer my kids the security that their needs will always come first, there is no competing with the behemoth that is the church. I really think that if your kids see a happy, well adjusted, secure you, they will be be happy, well adjust and secure too. The advice given above about taking the time to research and slowly realize where your deeper faith lies, is ultimately the best. You have a lot of information to absorb. You have a lot of emotional investment so sort through. You have a ton of indoctrination to wonder about and scrutinize. You deserve the time to just think things through. Please try not to let the well intentioned testimony of others persuade you from your own course....your are trying to determine you own testimony and course. Ask the questions, get all sides of the story and go. I do find that there are some incredibly well read people here. A smattering have some very strong opinions with their knowledge, but the bottom line is that there are plenty of documents available to to back up what people here are talking about...their knowledge can be invaluable in your search, and they are generous and willing to offer the information they have gleaned collectively. I haven't been coming to this site for long...but I am drawn to the ideas expressed here....I hope you feel you can ask all the questions you need without any inhibitions. |
| Subject: | Re: Support |
| Date: | Aug 31 12:10 |
| Author: | kc |
| Hello all, I am here this Sunday morning (with my phone off the hook because 'they' call every Sunday morning and ask my children to come to church with them) and I am reading all your messages trying to believe this is all going to be okay. I am just so torn. I have people stopping by telling me what a wonderful spiritual person I am and how they love my testimony (how on earth they can say this, is beyond me, as I think the last time I bore a testimony was in Relief Society about 4 or 5 years ago). They all want to compliment me. Suddenly after going through years of having not enough money and four children, and no family to help, now I am offered 'food orders' from the Bishop's storehouse. Now after 15+ years of paying a full tithe and offerings even when it meant my power was shut off in winter.. now, after having paid not one cent in tithing this year, now they ask me to give a talk on the Blessings of Tithing. Maybe it seems my main problem is feeling neglected but that isn't it. If this chruch were true (is it?) then I would give my usual speil about 'the church is true but the people might not be' but how can I do that anymore? How can I believe anything when it's all about wearing weird outfits and chanting and secrets? How does watching the same 2 hour video over and over and over save dead people? Isn't Jesus sacrifice enough, that he doesn't 'need' me to watch a video to help him save a dead person? And I have done hundreds of endowments, initiatories, sealings..I truly believed. I am rambling here, but I am so frustrated. I gave too much to a religion and now I am left with confused, judgmental kids who think people will go to hell for a sip of coffee. I am trying to teach them right, but I don't even know where to begin anymore. I have spent years 'waiting' for the right man, and eternal companion who has a temple recommend and a calling and all the right things, so I could get married (like a good Mormon girl should be) and have more babies (which was my 'highest calling' after all) and now I am left, stunned, wondering what to do with myself. It isn't about finding a man to 'complete' myself and my family (so I can get into the celestail kingdom) anymore. It's about me. And I am not even sure who I am. kc |
| Subject: | And I am not even sure who I am. |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:07 |
| Author: | chester |
| For me, your last sentence was the key in reclaiming
my life from the church. After swallowing the dogma for over forty
years, it was difficult for me to discern which of my beliefs were what
I really believed and which beliefs were strictly imposed on my by the
church. The really good news is that you don't have to figure it out today, tomorrow, or even within the next year. Recovery happens on your schedule as you are ready for it. I've been out of the church for about seven years and there are still issues that I am distilling. I look at that as a good thing, because when I do figure issues out (major or minor) I feel like I've more completely defined who I am and what I believe. The only advice I would give you at this point is to try to gravitate towards those things that you really love. The one big regret that I have belonging to the church was that I ignored many of my passions to pursue more "holier" pursuits (temple worship, for instance). Figure out your talents, passions, "extra-curricular" activities, people (particularly people that you may have otherwise neglected because of your activity in the church) that makes your spirit soar and partake as much as your schedule will allow. |
| Subject: | Advice from a fellow Exmormon. |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:16 |
| Author: | Wag |
| KC, First of all, it is good to have you here on the boards. It is very endearing to me to know that you feel you can open up to us and for myself, I'm always humbled when someone comes to us in the searching, seeking mode, looking for answers to the problems caused by the Mormon church. There are many stories on the story board which are probably similar to yours. As you read them and the daily postings, I have little doubt you'll find the support you're seeking and begin to cast the darkness of Mormonism from your life. Well, okay, that last was excessively mushy! My apologies! But be prepared! There is more mushiness below. You said, >It seems everything I have believed in and based my life around for 15 years, is a lie. Actually, you're right. It is just a lie. But the fact that you realize it is a good thing. Not something over which to be depressed. Part of the brainwashing and programming of Mormonism is that you feel very lost when you leave. It makes it difficult for people to leave or to stay out if they leave. I recommend that you take it to the next step, if you will. That step is to realize and firmly believe that having discovered the lie is a good thing because it gives you a new lease on a great life in the future. It may be easier to do this than you think. You also said, >How can I trust my own judgement anymore? Who else's judgment are you going to trust? This is a common feeling among people who leave the church and you have to accomplish at least one thing to get past it: You have to give yourself permission to believe in yourself. In the process of moving forward, be aware that you WILL make mistakes but that above all, mistakes are not a bad thing. They are learning experiences. Learn from others and from good books and classes where you can. You will gain the insight for which you seek. Another thing you said, >I have people stopping by telling me what a wonderful spiritual person I am and how they love my testimony (how on earth they can say this, is beyond me, as I think the last time I bore a testimony was in Relief Society about 4 or 5 years ago). They all want to compliment me. You may very well be a spiritual person. There is no monopoly on spiritualism in the Mormon church. Feeling close to your spirit is a good thing but it isn't something that is always truly understood within Mormonism and certainly not always truly understood by those who are leaving the church. For myself, I'm an atheist but I feel that I am as spiritual as I've ever been and FAR more spiritual than I was as a Mormon. YOU may not feel very spiritual right now but I think that as you search for and find peace in your life, you will discover the spirituality you were seeking when you joined the church at such a young age. The fact that people are coming to you and telling you lies about their own feelings is rather telling to you. At least you're recognizing that. If it is beyond your understanding how people can say such things to you, then it may become very obvious to you just what their motives really are. I leave it to you to decide what those motives may be, both on a group level and as individuals. Same with the bishop's storehouse doors being flung wide. What is it they are trying to do with you? A very insightful comment you made, >Isn't Jesus sacrifice enough, that he doesn't 'need' me to watch a video to help him save a dead person? Y'know, I don't thing I've ever seen this train of thought here on the board. Not that it hasn't been (I don't get to read here NEARLY as often as I would like!). But you're absolutely right. If Jesus has the power to save people, the Mormons are truly arrogant to believe that god needs their help to do so. I'm going to have to give that some more thought as it may be worth starting a new thread over it. In fact, it's your thought. Why don't YOU start another post here on the board on that subject and see how it develops. The board is organic and it will likely grow into a very though-provoking discussion. Doing this will give further validation to your thoughts and encourage you to continue working toward accomplishing what you desire. Be prepared, however. Not everyone will agree with you and you may find yourself being attacked but even that is a good thing. Challenging your thoughts and ideas is what life is all about, in my opinion. You commented about your kids, >I am trying to teach them right, but I don't even know where to begin anymore. I don't have kids but I used to be one! I say that slightly tongue in cheek, 'cause when people discover I don't have kids, they tend to automatically assume I know NOTHING about raising them. While it is true that I don't have a clue about the day-to-day operation of how to raise kids, I do remember how things were with my TBM parents. Kids need to be accepted and respected. Acceptance of one's kids can be very difficult because a parent REALLY wants the best for their kids and when they don't do or become what you hoped, it can be very discouraging. My own mother and my late father had and have a lot of disappointment over my abandonment of the church and while I sympathize with them, I still have to seek my own path. The problem is, they have and had zero acceptance of me and my ability to make decisions contrary to their Mormon teachings. As a result, we have no relationship. What I'm trying to say is, yes, some of your children may embrace Mormonism and disappoint you. But that is okay and should be okay in your eyes. Because they are your children and despite anything they do, you still love them. You can only hope they come around and they will be most likely to do so if you set a good example for them in terms of avoiding biased criticisms of them and of other people. Gentle proddings will likely work best. Small challenges to their thinking in the form of quick questions of a non-cynical nature can work wonders. Chastisement as taught in the mormon church is only destructive. You may find that you have some learning of your own to do in regard to raising your children in such a way that they find out the truth of the Mormons as you have. I've often said that people have to find their own path. The same is true with your kids but you CAN give them guidance and direction in some things. Trust yourself in this regard and put yourself sometimes in the shoes of your kids. Ask yourself, "If I were them, how would such a comment from my mother affect me?" You know them, their backgrounds and you know what they know in addition to their characteristics and likely reactions to you. I think you will do just fine and so will they. In spite of despairing now, I believe you have reason to hope for the best. Above all, don't be afraid they won't love you! I think it is best to love them by teaching them the hard things. But it can be done with love and patience for a good end. One of the last things you said, >now I am left, stunned, wondering what to do with myself As well as, >I am not even sure who I am. Both of those statements are very profound, more than you may realize. I should think that as you move forward, you'll find that it is okay to do things for yourself. If you left the Mormons, you should now have 10% more money to yourself and your family as well as an extra day in the week. If you can, go to school. Even if you already have your degrees, etc., take some classes and learn some new things. Doing so will help you discover who and what you are and what makes you tick. It may also put you in a position of knowing what to with yourself, as it were! If that isn't possible, keep searching the web for new and better knowledge. You can find them in places other than here and they will do you good, I have no doubt. And not just religion, either. Stay tuned with science and politics and gain an understanding of what makes people tick. The mormons have kept you and your "self" suppressed in a lot of ways and you'll find there are plenty of gaps to be filled in. Start now. If you don't, you'll likely find yourself drifting back into the church if, for no other reason, just to socialize. KC, you have a whole new vista ahead of you. Take hope in the fact that there is a wide world out there and the church is no longer going to keep you trapped, holding you back from doing good things in this life. Yes, it is scary and you'll have to make changes on a personal level. Many things will be different. If it gets too scary in a given moment, come back here and ask and see if some of us have answers for you. Believe me, there are many people here who have suffered the things you are now suffering and you'll be able to find what you need. Much love and hugs and kisses to you and your kids, --Wag-- |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:20 |
| Author: | apost8 |
| Let me first start of by commending you for having
the courage of being able to step away from the Church. I have lived in
Chicago for the past three years after spending most of my life in Utah,
and although was disenchanted with the religion long before I left the
state, I continued to remain active simply because it was easier for me
to live a lie than to deal with the repercussions from friends and
family members. After moving, my life was greatly simplified (although I
have had to shoo away several missionaries over the past 3 years). My advice for you is the same advice I give everyone in your position. You don't need a religion to tell you how to live. You have all of the intelligence and common sense to make the right decisions in your life. Trust yourself. There are others like you, and you are not alone. |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:27 |
| Author: | Wag |
| One thing I should mention, is that if you were
asked to give a talk in church, you may want to just call them and tell
them you won't be able to do so. You don't even have to give a reason,
just quietly hang up the phone when they start pressing you for a
reason. If it makes you feel more comfortable, just tell them you have
some, "Pressing personal business to take care of." It won't
be untrue. If they try to reschedule you, tell them you don't know when
you'll be able to do so but you'll get back to them when you can. Hugs! --Wag-- |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:35 |
| Author: | Canoe boy |
| The Lord works in mysterious ways, and the fact that
you have found your way to this site is just one example that He loves
you and is watching out for you. My wife and I grew up in the heart of Mormonism (Utah County). My belief was never very strong but hers was. A few months ago she (very active, temple recommend, etc) finally saw the truth about Mormonism. She was very angry and hurt. She felt violated and deceived. We have simply explained to our children that the whole Mormon thing is false. Now we go to a different church or we spend Sundays doing something as a family. We are much happier now, The feelings you are having are normal, please don't get sucked back in by the superficial concern and testimonies that "they" may try to impose upon you. Remember, Jesus died that we all my live. It doesn't require special handshakes or underwear. Go to your knees and ask the Lord for strength and faith. I can testify that He will never leave you or let you down. Please stay in touch via this board and let us know how things go. We all love you and are concerned about you. You will be in my prayers. Canoe Boy |
| Subject: | Great advice from everyone |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:43 |
| Author: | Wanda |
| I still feel shell-shocked somewhat. I discovered
the lie about 3 months ago... has it been that long? I am still asking
those questions... what IS true? I am married to an ultra TBM, who is
very intelligent, but just doesn't see the lie. He is so brainwashed. So
this of course makes my situation that much more difficult. Anyway, my advice for now... since it sounds like you have also recently discovered the truth... is to solidify your new testimony. Meaning, read everything you can get your hands on... If you can stand it, read what apologists have to say so you can know what members are going to try and bring up. Arm yourself with knowledge. My other advice, that I needed some time to work through, and admittedly have not had to utilize yet.... is 1. Practice saying "no, I can't do that." 2. Practice saying "Are you asking me, a grown woman, about my underwear?" (since I'm guessing you don't wear the holy undies anymore). 3. Practice saying, "I don't like being lied to and I know JS lied about writing the Book of Mormon, about receiving the priesthood, and about everything else." 4. And finally, the most important one, that goes against what you have been taught: "I respect you as a friend, but I recognize that you have no authority over me." (Said to the bishop, stake pres, whoever). Last of all, a quote on my wall that a dear exmo friend gave me: "What other people think of me is none of my business." The road you and the rest of us are taking is not for sissies. Keep posting, okay? |
| Subject: | Re: 34/Female, afraid |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:43 |
| Author: | wisedup |
| Congrats on questioning the machine. It is hard to
let loose after the brainwashing - but there will come a time when you
will feel at ease with what you choose to do - not what the
"saints" want you to do. In fact, you will feel downright
happy. You will see what a joke mormonism really is. In my case I look
at these zealots and actually feel sorry for them. You will reach this
point too. I used this board a lot and it really helped me. Good luck
friend. |
| Subject: | Just keep on using your intellect... |
| Date: | Aug 31 13:54 |
| Author: | brefots |
| and you'll be fine. It is a bumpy ride but you'll
get the hang of it. How can you trust your own judgement? Well, my friend, your judgement is ultimately the only thing you have, it's the only thing you'll ever have. To distrust your judgement is to make use of the judgement you have. So the question is, when you don't trust your judgement: Do you trust that particular judgement saying that you shouldn't trust your judgement? You are cautious, and that is natural, you have learned that you have been fooled. But how did you learn that? By using your judgement! Judgement is the very function in your brain that allows you to rate the probability or validity of every thought that is passing through. Just hang in there and keep using your intellect and you'll be fine. |
| Subject: | kc, where are you? |
| Date: | Aug 31 14:08 |
| Author: | BestBBQ |
| Are you in Utah or thereabouts or are you elsewhere?
No need to be specific if you don't want to be. There are support group
get-togethers happening all over; maybe you could hook up with one. Also, how old are your kids? How you approach this with them will be age-dependent. |
| Subject: | Hey kc |
| Date: | Aug 31 14:55 |
| Author: | jolimont |
| I don't have much time to write right now, but I
wanted to say you are not alone and give you a cyber hug. We all go
through the feelings your describe and things do get a lot better. More
later! |
| Subject: | Re: Hey kc |
| Date: | Aug 31 16:38 |
| Author: | kc |
| Hi all, Thank you for all the support. I will try and answer a few things and write a few more thoughts here. I actually am considering whether I should try and go back and 'fake it' like some people here seem to be doing. I am not a hypocrite though and not sure how okay I would be with this. I won't lie. But I feel like I need something, a religion, something social, for my kids. (I feel less and less like this all the time, actually). Some things about the church are good, some are bad, but one thing for sure, it is not the 'one true church.' My kids are all between 6 and 13 and while they don't seem to mind not going, they do ask me sometimes about it. And they want to be with their friends, and their scout troop is church-based. I am not in Utah but I am in the NorthWest states. Wag, I think it would be great if you started a thread about my comment on the video/Jesus/salvation issue. I am feeling not so confident about myself right now, and so I don't know about starting another thread, but I would be glad to watch and participate in it. It is a good topic. If anyone wants to email me that would be fine too. I wish I could find some local people to actually meet. I met some "fundies" at the fair who were whipping out brochures at me faster than you can say jackmormon. They saw my ctr ring. Why I wear it, I dont know, just so other Mormons will see it and say, Hey, I am LDS too. A way to meet people I guess. Strange as it seems I still wear the garments but only the bottoms. I have worn the tops and bottoms all my life faithfully, never even letting them touch the floor, until this summer when it got so hot and I thought, this is stupid. Why would God care what kind of underwear I have on? It's too hot for an undershirt. SO I stopped. I wear the bottoms, pretty much because that's all I have. I can't see buying more, ever. I just can't imagine an all powerful all knowing being dictating underwear. I hope I am not wrong about this. It would suck to die and be wrong. Well please keep talking to me. I appreciate it alot. kc |
| Subject: | Re: Hey kc |
| Date: | Aug 31 21:15 |
| Author: | apost8 |
| If I die and find out the Mormons were right, I will
give God the finger and join my brother Lucifer in outer darkness. kc wrote: I hope I am not wrong about this. It would suck to die and be wrong. |
| Subject: | Re: I feel your pain |
| Date: | Aug 31 21:19 |
| Author: | Fence Sitter |
|
I am 45 with 4 kids and know the truth and cannot leave at this point.
The people on this site are a great support system for whatever decision
you make. |
| Subject: | Believe me, we have been EXACTLY where you are... |
| Date: | Sep 01 00:11 |
| Author: | DrJekyll |
| My world got torn apart about two years ago but I
stayed in the closet for a year while I tried to decide how to approach
my wife. After reading the stories of some others, I realized that it
can get ugly if you just come out and declare the church false and give
all of the data. I began asking her opinion on sticky subjects and
eventually this lead to some very open discussions. Eventually I let her
know how I was feeling and she told me that she felt the same way once
we started looking into things together. However, since I had been in
the closet for quite a while, I already had the chance to step back and
think (usually day-dreamed about this stuff during church meetings!). She, on the other hand, is at nearly the same stage that you are. The torn up world, and the ramifications of the lies are now sinking in. I am helping her to take a step back and a deep breath and to think about what she wants. I totally agree with the others on this board about the "time-out". Especially the time-out where you spend quality time with your children. Don't do anything until you are ready and feel the desire to do it. Don't do anything on anyone else's prompting. This board is here for people like you and my wife who are dealing with the transition (as well as exmos who just get a hoot out of looking back at the previous years and laughing at themselves a little). Good luck. P.S. Treat yourself to some Victoria's Secret undergarments! I know that my wife is happy that she can enjoy them now. I think that it really has made a difference in her life. She feels like a woman and empowered after years of feeling like the member of a genderless slave class. |
| Subject: | You say you don't know if you can trust your own judgment...maybe for the first time you can free from others/church's judgment...welcome |
| Subject: | Re: You say you don't know if you can trust your own judgement...maybe for the first time you can free from others/church's judgement...welcome n/t |
| Date: | Sep 01 12:23 |
| Author: | kc |
| Okay, let me admit something here. My mother raised
me in the Jehovah's Witness religion. I spend my childhood selling
Watchtowers from door to door and on street corners for a nickel. (As
well as sitting in the hallway at school like a 'bad child' during every
Christmas, Easter, Valentines, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Birthday
party my class ever had). Now, I did not feel really bad about this; I
was devout and SURE that it was "the Truth" and everything I
was doing was "for Jehovah." I was a full time missionary by
the age of 16. I had no doubt. Enter serious study of the Bible, and some Mormon missionaries when I was 17. They showed me from the Bible where my religion was wrong! I was astounded and after 6 months of study and prayer I left the JWs, losing every friend I had and my family too (they practice shunning). It turned my world upside down to have to start over, set new life goals, realise that Armageddon wasn't going to come before I was 25, and accept for the first time, my own mortality. Of course since the Mormons showed me the light, I believed they had the "true Church" and was baptized at 18. So I guess for me, this is like reliving a very bad nightmare. WHAT?!? THIS church isnt the "true church" either?? There ISN'T A true church?? Quite a shocker. I do not feel like I can trust my judgement because I have been so SURE twice, and wrong both times. I feel a sickness in the pit of my stomach about it. One of the eye openers for me was last year in the "Friend" magazine for Mormon children, there was a story from a little boy who wrote in to say he was Choosing the Right and knew Heavenly Father was so proud of him...for...(can you guess? honesty maybe, or being kind? no!)... for refusing to use one of those temporary tattoos little kids like!! You know, the kind where they lay a little paper drawing of mickey mouse or whatever on their arm, hold a wet rag on it and peel it off? The kind that wash right off?? He refused to put one on his arm because "the prophet says tattoos are wrong." Okay I am sorry, but this is nuts. While I don't really liek tattoos much and wouldnt want my son getting one when he is young, I sure am not going to ban those little temporary tats from my little boys! Thats just nuts. And while I am on this rant, let me add that in the recent Friend magazine, yesterday, I read a story a little girl wrote in and said she had prayed for 2 years for a baby sister, and her mother got pregnant finally and when she had an ultrasound and said it was a girl, the parents were shoicked, but the girl wasnt, because, and I quote, "The Holy Ghost had told me I was having a baby sister." she says she knows God hears her prayers because she "has a lot of faith." Okay, EXCUSE ME, but what is this telling our kids? How many children are out there praying for baby brothers and sisters now, thinking if they have enough faith it will happen, and if it doesnt they are not faithful enough?? How many childless couples out there have prayed for DECADES for a baby and never got blessed with one? This is nuts, I tell ya. Which also reminds me of a Friend article a couple eyars ago where a kid "chose the right" by not attending a birthday party on Sunday. Seven years ago I remember making my kindergardener miss birthday aprties on Sundays. We would buy a present and take it to them on Saturday. It was "wrong" to party on the sabbath. Well baloney, I let my kids go to parties on Sundays now. We still don't shop on Sunday and try to make it a day of rest, but I am not going to be like my Mormon neighbors and not even let my kids PLAY on Sunday! Okay that was long but I said what I wanted to say :o) Thanks all, you're pretty neat people. No horns or anything. lol kc |
| Subject: | Some cliches but they seem appropo |
| Date: | Sep 01 14:17 |
| Author: | Waana |
| Mail Address: |
| I do not, can not, will not believe in anything I
have to believe in. More can be accomplished by one pair of hands engaged in work than by fifty clasped in prayer. Take action in the world around you instead of trying to win a place in a fantasy that changes from day to day and may not even exist. Do the right thing...not because it will get you fame, fortune, or a place in heaven...but becasue it is the right things to do. Good luck. |
| Subject: | kc, you are doing fine! You've seen through the |
| Date: | Sep 01 15:00 |
| Author: | Meow |
| Mail Address: |
| weirdness and the lies, and you're taking back your
life! That's great!! Yes, you were fooled twice (JW and LDS) but don't beat yourself up over it. Plenty of people have been fooled more than once and lived to tell the tale. Thank you so much for posting! Every story of someone leaving such controlling religions cheers me up! |
Recovery from Mormonism - The Mormon Church - www.exmormon.org |