Leaving the Mormon church after years of being a Mormon is difficult

You are free to post this if you think it is at all useful (yes, under anonymity...and I know...spineless...but, heck, look below at all the issues I am dealing with). Your comments to me are appreciated as I haven't conversed with any one who can understand my situation besides my wife.

Your page helped me understand that other people are going through a similar experience to me. I recently needed to know I wasn't alone when my wife and I woke up and realized the LDS church indoctrinates its members with many false teachings. I won't give you another life travel log, but thought I'd instead demonstrate why I think it is so difficult to leave the Mormon faith.

I've been going through a post-Mormon experience with my wife and family for about 4 months now [May 1996] (it was completely unexpected, at least for us). My wife and kids have been able to adjust well to a Christian life during this time. However, I've continued to struggle off-and-on with how I could have such strong beliefs that the LDS church is false yet still have the Church continually on my mind.

Ironically, most non-Mormons wonder why my exodus has affected me so deeply. They figure, "If it Mormonism was working for your family, what was the problem?" (A lot of Mormons have said the same thing.) It seems that the former Mormon has very few people who understand.

I wrote down some thoughts about the Mormon perspective. This has helped me see why it's so difficult to leave the LDS church. These points are all official doctrines of the Church and perspectives that are regularly ingrained into the membership. What blows me away now is that maintaining just a couple of these perspectives often keeps a Mormon in the Church. Imagine (I guess you already have) how difficult it is to recover from a few of these faulty perspectives, let alone all of them!

As a Mormon you believe that (in no particular order)...

• Historical facts and opinions which go contrary to official Mormon teachings are by definition false and unworthy of study because they do not promote the your faith in the Church.

• The final test of truthfulness is if you feel good about an issue ("burning in the bosom", warmth, elation).

• Joseph Smith has done more for you and all of mankind than anyone, except Jesus Christ.

• The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and D&C never contradict themselves or the Bible. They are all in perfect agreement. You accept at least one of the various explanations of the Church leaders.

• The Bible has been altered by evil and inept men and is therefore unreliable (on its own) as the final word on Christian doctrine.

• Having been to the temple, you are 95% percent of the way to the Celestial Kingdom and Godhood. You just need to endure to the end.

• The secret temple ceremony is the same as was practiced in ancient Israel (and maybe even in the pyramids of Egypt, according to some Mormon apologetics). The Masons received elements of the ceremonies through an uninterrupted chain of masons, beginning with the masons of the temple of Solomon. God told Joseph Smith how to perform the ceremonies after Joseph saw the Masons do something similar.

• The Church's doctrinal stance of polygamy, blacks and the priesthood, and the nature of God haven't changed in any significant way over the years since the Church began. For that matter, not a single significant doctrinal issue has changed.

• It's OK for God to encourage man to commit deceit as he did when telling Abraham (in the Mormons' Book of Abraham) to deceive Pharaoh about his wife Sarah. God can do whatever he wants through his servants, even if it involves deceit. Joseph Smith (and more recent Apostles) has said that what is wrong in one circumstance can sometimes be, and often is, right under another. (Note: A very conservative Mormon may even assert that Abraham did not deceive Pharaoh in any way, and thereby brush aside having to deal with the issue.)

• Non-Mormons belong to the Church of the Devil as it states in 2 Nephi, even (especially?) those that profess Christianity.

• When an Apostle or Prophet says something that is accepted to be true, he is directly inspired by God. When he says something that turns out to be false, he was speaking as a man. But either way, it's no to matter you. These men will never lead you astray.

  And you believe that...
  

• The Book of Mormon is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet, and, since it comes from the Church, the Church and all its doctrines must be true. OR The Church must be true because it has had a good influence on your family. This helps you accept its official history and doctrines as being the truth.

• The unique doctrines and ceremonies that you have as a Mormon are mandatory for the Godhood, to which you aspire. Without these things, you'd be kicking yourself for the eternities saying something like, "If only I had fully accepted the doctrine of the LDS Church, then I could have become a God."

• Hypothetically, if the LDS church weren't true, no other organization could possibly have truth since you already believe that they are all false (interesting logic, eh). If the Mormon church is false, then you are convinced that all churches devoid of truth.

• Any opposing forces to the Church help prove to you that the Church must be true, especially in light of the Book of Mormon teachings on opposition.

• Anything written by a former Mormon must be false or, at best, unreliable. Bottom line, you believe that former Mormons have evil intentions.

• Former Mormons leave the Church because of serious sin. Those who leave the Church in reality know that the Church is true and are liars just like the Book of Mormon anti-Christs.

• You have so many authorized Church books to read and Church jobs to do that you don't have time or inclination to read any information that may go contrary to the Church.

• Even if the Mormon church weren't true, it teaches good values to your family and that's good enough.

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