I'm sure that you understand that your Mom is not just overbearing. Based on her comments, she's obviously got some mental / emotional problems. My grandmother was this way. Because much of what she would say was couched in gospel speak, I interpreted it as spiritual over-anxiety. But to be honest she'd become so disconnected from reality I eventually came to understand that she was j
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I'm 46 and my views have changed a lot over the years. When younger it was very hard to get out of the sex drive. I think that's just natural for many men. Intimacy = sex. Now it's different - sex is enjoyable, but I'm finding what I yearn for most is shared enthusiasm (compatibility). My 21 year old son was talking about wanting to "live off the grid" out in the middle of nowh
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Sounds like a great way to avoid a pretty time consuming calling. Just let it grow and you can keep teaching primary or better yet, eating snacks in the nursery. I had a friend (a big guy) with red hair and a big full red beard. Looked good on him. He was called to be elder's quorum president. During the calling process the stake president insisted that he shave the beard to set the exampl
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Ward clerks - financial, membership or "the" ward clerk are not typically called by a member of the stake presidency. Usually the call comes through the ward's assigned high councilor. I suppose that could be it but it would be unusual.
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Freud called it "Reaction Formation" and while I don't agree with most of his views on human psychology, unfortunately this is one defense mechanism we see quite often.
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You'll hear it from this author on LDSLiving, but you'll never hear even a semblance of this kind of healthy attitude through the hierarchy. At best you'll get silence. At worst bludgeoning with shame.
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When the sunday school president makes a mistake......nevermind no one gives a flying fart in space about the sunday school president. Most don't even know who he is.
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The content of the booklet was actually delivered by Boyd K. Packer during priesthood session in 1976 as a talk. So correlation would have had nothing to do with what he presented. I think your question really is whether it would be put into booklet form and distributed the way it used to be. I'm doubtful, but who knows...."The Miracle of Forgiveness" is still recommended as re
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I've always thought the celestial kingdom sounds absolutely boring. It irritates my wife when I say: "If the celestial kingdom is everyone standing around in white with their families praising God, no thank you." Actually it was this combined with watching the predictable, expected pattern people were following around me and realizing that I didn't want to follow that same old pa
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It's not wimpy at all. I struggle with anxiety and being able to write it out is easier for me. A couple of months ago, that's what I did. I sent a note to the high counselor asking to be released from my calling in the stake and I sent a note to both my HP group leader and my HT companion that I wouldn't be able to home teach anymore. I was released and no one has said anything to me abo
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Totally true, but it’s worse than that. If you don’t pay tithing at best you’ll struggle financially, at worst all your interests will collapse. This superstitious line of thought kept me in line for years. I can’t even remember the number of times I heard someone describe some kind of financial hardship and someone at church say, “Well, are they paying their tithing?” I fina
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When you believe that the purpose of life is Mormonism it makes sense that you'd never accept that someone would want / need anything else.
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Uh....no. If it was a doctrine, my wife would be apostate!
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On the surface of it - good. Under the surface of it - a numbers game - latinos tend to get baptized in droves and to make more babies (i.e. catholic background + mormon reproductive expectations) Think of all the future tithe paying BICs!
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I learned a lot about this process and differences of administration when I went through it myself almost 8 years ago. I was TBM at the time so as far as I was concerned it was all very necessary. I believe differently now. After confessing to my bishop what I considered to be pretty serious stuff, he indicated that it would need to be managed by the the Stake President (because I was an Eld
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Yes. I’ve heard that “they weren’t ready” tripe before as well. The ironic part is that in my 47 years of BIC experience, members of the church have always been willing to do whatever they were told was the mind and will of the Lord through his prophet. Some might struggle at first but they all get in line sooner rather than later. What could be harder than polygamy (at least for
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I think everyone has a different tolerance level. Some are able to comfortably manage living with one foot in and one foot out (essentially pretending to be TBM but not really drinking the kool-aid) Others cannot tolerate even mild association with the church once "their eyes are opened", so they make a very clean break. Still others have many other situational variables to
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Wow....just wow. That was a lot to take in and important to understand. It's caused me to think back on my own family experiences, and as I do I realize how much racism was expressed in my own TBM family. I remember my mom telling me that - "white people marry white people and black people marry black people". The thing is, these attitudes were supported by doctrinal interpret
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Thanks summer Of course only time will tell. I not sure how things will be going forward. I will love her the best I can and see whether she can adapt to the changes I’m making. Right now I’m kind of 70-30 on whether she can (70% unlikely).
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Thanks Free Man. I think you’re absolutely right and it’s something that I will be watching very carefully for as we move ahead. Can our relationship be a priority higher than church or other considerations. Not sure yet. Now that I’ve come to this point I’d love for the conversation to just be about our marriage, but for her (and for me) the Church is so intertwined with it all tha
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Ok. I did it. It was interesting how it came about. Not as I expected. She asked me if I wanted to watch the news conference related to the new first presidency today. I told her “No”. She said, “So you just don’t care about the Church anymore do you?” I said, “No I just don’t believe it anymore.” We then talked for about two hours about my doubts and the logical probl
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I max the scale on introversion as measured by the MBTI (INTP). Because I get most of my energy from my own internal process, I struggle with many of the social aspects of the church. HTing is very anxiety inducing. Any suggestions that I reach out to people I don't know well or the continual requests to invite friends and neighbors to church functions causes me stress. Bubbly fri
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Well excuse my cynicism (assuming your note was not tongue in cheek) but my experience has been a little different. Asking for time each month you could see these families didn't want you there, but felt obligated to let you come by. Then when you did stop by you always felt like you were intruding where you weren't wanted. Then you exchange a few pleasantries, give a message and ask the obl
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I can't really say whether it rises to the level of hazing or not, but I do think it sets folks up for a lot of painful cognitive dissonance if they ever question later in life. It goes something like this: "I have a doubt about the church.....but I spent 18 months / 2 years telling people it was true." This is a very painful thing to contemplate. Most folks will do almost anyt
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Well the official stance is that every new member needs three things: 1. A Friend 2. A Calling 3. Nurturing by the good word of god My take is: 1. A Friend - we need to keep tabs on you (HT fits in this category) 2. A Calling - we need to keep you super busy so you don't have time for anything but the church in your life (HT also fits in this category) 3. Nurturing - constant c
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Stake Sunday School President What a pointless calling....nobody cared.
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Thanks all for your guidance. I have a few more days to think about it and will definitely report back on the outcome. Many regards.
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What are the implications of moving out? I don't plan to but I'd like to understand the consequences.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. Should it go down that path, I will incorporate this "helping" element and ensure that there is no threatening tone. I really don't want to hurt her because I do love her. I've suggested in the past that she go back to school for personal development, but she doesn't like school so I'm not sure she'll take me up on it, but presented with anoth
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The model has been discontinued
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