Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 

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Yesterday
summer
The majority of Christian churches would never expect their members to give 10% (much less demand it for services rendered.) In most cases members give what they themselves deem to be a fair amount of money to keep the church and church programs running. I've read on the web that the average yearly church donation in the U.S. is 2.7% of income. Some would donate more and some less. I don't know o
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Yesterday
summer
We'll miss you. Have a lovely summer!
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2 days ago
summer
The Mormon church is nothing like the Catholic church (I am a nevermo who was raised in the Catholic faith.) If you want to make a comparison, the Jehovah's Witnesses might be a closer match. The LDS church is a highly demanding, highly controlling organization. It's their way or the highway. The church will want huge chunks of your time and money. You will constantly have church people knocki
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2 days ago
summer
Substitute "he" or "she." It's a way of disguising the sex of the OP and of the spouse -- a way of preserving some anonymity.
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3 days ago
summer
I'm so sorry. What a horrible day to pick to tell you the bad news. The house will be subject to negotiation, as will your other joint assets. Don't move out before your lawyer gives you the go ahead. It will get better eventually. But it will get worse before it gets better. You will get through this, so stay strong. We are here for you.
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3 days ago
summer
Guilt means that you are violating your own standards. Sometimes that's a good thing, if it serves as a reminder of certain items that you need to take care of. But sometimes you have merely internalized someone else's standards that no longer make much sense for you. In that case, inappropriate guilt will fade over time.
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
Welcome, FoxyLizard. We're glad that you joined us. You don't have to worry about how you are posting -- you are doing just fine. I'm a nevermo, but I can tell you that the behavior that you are describing would *not* be considered normal outside of the Mormon church. It would be considered intrusive and stalkerish. I would tell your dad how the behaviors make you feel and ask him to inter
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3 days ago
summer
Derrida, I can only wish that I had one more entire day to spend with my dad. He died when I was 14 years old. He was a wonderful father for the short time that I had him. Time is precious. Hopefully we spend as much of it as we can with the people that we love.
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3 days ago
summer
So the bishop feels sad about your resignation. The SP feels sad as well. Very, very sad. They'll get over it! :D Congratulations, and do let us know when you get your final letter.
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3 days ago
summer
If you are moving so soon, I would just consider texting him after you've made your move. Your personal safety comes first. Don't forget that!
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3 days ago
summer
I couldn't imagine getting married on a basketball court. It is the height of meanness for a church and a bishop to not allow a young couple to use the chapel. A wedding at home or at a local park would be better.
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
I've really enjoyed some weddings and others, not so much. I tend to like smaller, somewhat less traditional weddings better. My favorite wedding ever was where the bride and groom married in a historic chapel at Harvard. The setting was different and striking since all the seats faced the center aisle. The reception was at the faculty club. It was a small but attractive venue. There was champ
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3 days ago
summer
Break it off in a very public place. Your boyfriend will be less likely to go off in front of witnesses. Make sure that he knows that you are firm in your decision -- no "let's try to stay friends." And yes, the very wise thing to do would be to break it off. A partner who tries to keep you away from your friends is highly controlling. Add the violence against objects and you have to
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3 days ago
summer
I think that even if a parent does has a testimony of the BoM, that parent should still sit in on bishop interviews of their minor children. It is high time for the invasive questioning of youth to stop. And that will only happen if parents consistently forbid it. It's interesting that the bishop refers to "sincere but unauthorized" ministers of other churches. Who does he think kept
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3 days ago
summer
Maryland is nice. We have four seasons. Summers can be humid so A/C is a must -- but the humidity is off and on, not constant. Winters are usually mild. We'll get a few snowstorms each winter with 2-5 inches of snow -- a blizzard maybe once or twice a decade. Snow is not a huge deal here. Spring and fall are wonderful. There are many waterfront communities here either on the Chesapeake Bay or
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
This post is more than a year old, people. It was resurrected by a semi-apologist (see the response upstream.) My view is that you are going to have a certain number of asshats in your life (bosses, coworkers, or whomever.) Wave good-bye to them the minute you can and leave them in the dust.
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
Interesting article. Customers of Mr. Johnson's company found themselves with recurring credit card or bank account charges that they didn't know they had agreed to. There were understandably many charge-backs by the consumers. Credit card issuers that notice too many charge-backs for a given company will cancel that company's account and put it on a blacklist. This is a check and balance sys
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
When I was in college I went to concerts all the time. Great seats for national acts were generally $7.50 - $10.00 back then. If you paid $15.00 then it was a really expensive show, and you were probably seeing the Rolling Stones, the Who, Eric Clapton, or a similar act. Minimum wage (if I'm remembering correctly) was $3 and change at the time. So the very best seats could be had for 4-5 times
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3 days ago
summer
Nevermos are really stunned when you give them the "meat" before the "milk." No wonder the missionaries hide so much from them.
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3 days ago
summer
Even faith isn't a cure-all when you are hit with a major crisis. Sometimes you just have to muddle your way through and find ways to cope with the stress. The good news is that your friend is still alive and still has a chance. Most people who have major heart attacks don't even make it that far. Let us know how things progress. I know it's hard.
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3 days ago
summer
I can understand wanting to try what is for you, forbidden fruit. Perhaps you can have the non-alcoholic versions of mixed drinks to feel like you are more a part of things. A non-alcoholic pina colada would be very tasty! I would also consider investigating other anti-seizure medications with your physician if you haven't done so already.
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3 days ago
summer
I grew up Catholic and I'm familiar with Opus Dei. I agree with you that the sub-group is cultish.
Forum: Recovery Board
3 days ago
summer
I would think of the activities that simgles normally do and try to find a way to make them happen at least occasionally, i.e. going out to a bar or bistro, attending a concert, taking a weekend away. Either hire a babysitter or find another young couple with whom you can trade babysitting duties.
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3 days ago
summer
What do you need to have in place before you can go?
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4 days ago
summer
There are shelters for abused housewives, why wouldn't you qualify? You are in a dependent position and you are being hit.
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4 days ago
summer
The school doesn't allow kissing, prolonged hugging, nor viewing of HBO, MTV, or Comedy Central, among other things. I'm not going to feel a whole lot of sympathy for anyone who signs up for that.
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4 days ago
summer
You'll miss them when they've flown the nest. :-)
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4 days ago
summer
Honestly, any other environment would be better than where you are. A battered woman's shelter would be a good place to start. Do whatever you need to do to get out. In the past, it's been suggested by others that California has good social services for those in need. You won't have a chance at good mental health until you get away from your abusers. Look at it this way -- wherever you go
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4 days ago
summer
Yes, indeed. The majority of Christians believe that they will be with their loved ones in the afterlife. Certain other faiths and cultures believe this as well. No 10% payment nor special handshakes needed!
Forum: Recovery Board
4 days ago
summer
It's possible, but it's also possible that the church would be open to lawsuits if that were the case.
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