I left the church about 4 years ago. I served 2 full, honorable years in the great, English-speaking state of Minnesota (didn't even get to learn another language). Upon coming home, I quickly realized that my perception of reality hinged on a questionable tale, and a relatively microscopic one compared to the world's population.

Without warning, I went to my bishop and handed him my temple recommend. "I'm sorry, I just don't believe it anymore, and I don't want anyone thinking I was ever deceptive about my non-belief." However, I would learn just how naive such a hope could ever be. Not that you open-minded people care, but I would like to note that it was ONLY after this that I began to consume alcohol and the likes, as well as engage in any premarital sex.

After I stopped attending, I was delightfully surprised with visits from the missionaries, the elder's quorum, the relief society (?), the bishopric, and, most importantly, my parents' random little quibs about their knowledge that I would eventually "figure it out".

What most believers fail to realize is how starkly obvious the falsity of the church really is, and that they choose not to see it because they fail to ever fully step back and genuinely ask themselves, "did someone make all this up?". My parents and I no longer have the beautiful relationship we once shared, and this is because I can clearly see that so much of their moral compassing is done unconsciously, and they don't even know it. Granted, I am only 25. I'm sure I'll eventually grow up and realize that I was kind of a jerk for my outbursts, but in the mean time, I simply can't help myself when I hear these huge errors leave the mouths of such otherwise intelligent people.

My parents believe, if for nothing else, their "belief system" (a term I truly love) allows them to find stability in an unstable world. Therefore, due to my LACK of belief, I am innately unstable. Once, I excitedly invited my mom over to my apartment to proofread an essay I drafted that was later invited to be presented at an academic conference. My grades were/are excellent, and I try to spend my time doing whatever I can to be worthwhile, and yet when my mom found an empty beer can in my apartment, she cried, informing me that my life was going to be a "train wreck" until I learned that a life without God is no life at all. So, let me get this straight: I am wrong for believing that religion doesn't dictate morality, but my parents are morally stable, and they know this because of how the Spirit witnessed to them specifically? That is the ESSENCE of moral relativity! Yet such an assertion is immediately ignored because I don't have a testimony.

My political opinions are totally marginalized as well. I can present an airtight argument as to why governmental restriction of homosexual marriage is absurd, and all my points are only heard for the end that they can successfully be understood and refuted. I have little hope, too. I don't know what else I can possibly say.

If there were a literal sense of a mind being blown, I believe I have experienced it, and it was when I was shot into the orbit of religious enlightening. When I learned how MASSIVE this Christian myth really was/is, my entire foundation was disintegrated from immediately beneath my figurative feet. That changed EVERYTHING for me, and yet it changes NOTHING WHATSOEVER for my parents. I feel that can't be possible. Logic tells me that such massive implications should have some effect on my parents, and yet they seem totally resilient. They are both 65, and I never thought I'd hear myself say they are "set in their ways". It hurts.

However, I believe I've found some light. Living in Utah, all of us ex-mo's know the dating scene can be difficult. I started dating a Mormon girl (who, by the way, invited me to church from day 1), helped her understand what I understand, and am pleased to say that she responds. She recently turned down a calling extended to her, although part of that dealt with her school schedule. This means that truth still means something to people--even religious people (I hear myself say that, and it sounds like a paradox). I'm sure of it, though. I believe that people can learn to step back. People can learn that, no, it doesn't make sense that one's "sacred" tithing funds should go to the construction of a $5 bil shopping mall. It doesn't make sense that a Heavenly Father made his children a certain way, then taught his prophets that homosexuality was one of the worst afflictions in his eyes, thereby making those homosexually oriented children of his feel, at the very least, uncomfortable (Utah has a high rate of teen suicide).

We don't have to try to cram illogical nuggets of misinformation into our logical brains. It doesn't make sense. It never will, because it is NOT TRUE.

I'm so glad to be out of the church, but I will absolutely support the claim that people's lives can seem better when they're in the church. When you've been taught one way your entire life, the removal process of that facade is detrimental. However, it is still a facade, and a facade, like a blindfold, can be removed.