"Don't let her get too much of an education or she'll end up leaving the church."-- Advice from a former bishop (1998)

My mother passed this warning on to me when I called to tell her I had recieved my acceptance letter from a graduate program in the Pacific Northwest. I had recently graduated from BYU, having taken a year and a half off to go on a mission. I was a true believer in a large mormon family with pioneer ancestry.

I nearly laughed out loud when she told me what he had said. I was not worried about losing my testimony because I had learned from my temple endowment that "...all truth shall be circumscribed into one great whole." Any additional education would simply add to my knowledge and my testimony of the gospel, right?

Six years later I resigned.

The early '00s were a bit of a blur. As most of you already know, it is a difficult process to leave mormonism and its trappings behind.

The fraud of the Book of Abraham, the terrible behavior of Brigham and Joseph, the blatant misuse of tithes to build a mall, and everything that I discovered after the fact strengthened my case against TSCC, but here was the clincher:

TSCC does not recognize homosexuality for what it is: a normal variation of human sexuality. This causes a tremendous amount of needless harm and suffering.

After I allowed myself some freedom from the cult and it's messaging, I realized that I was not in fact going to hell for being a lesbian. I also realized, happily, that that I would be able to have the fulfilling intimate relationship that I had wanted my whole life.

Here is my situation today:

I am in happily married to a woman who loves me as much as I love her. We have been married for 4 years (thank you, Canada). We have been in a committed relationship for 7 years.

We have both completed advanced degrees and are gainfully employed in rewarding careers. In stereotypic fashion we are considering getting a dog, but are so busy now that we don't even have a fish or a houseplant.

We are the "traveling aunties" to not only our niece and nephew (her side of the family), but to the children of our close friends.

My only regret is that I didn't leave sooner.

Shame on TSCC for causing so much unnecessary harm for those who happen to be born gay and in the "covenant." I hope to encourage, support, and ease the way for anyone who is on the difficult but rewarding path to freedom.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 06/29/2012 05:09PM by abinadiburns.