MY story is too long to put it all here. So I will tell you why, after 57 years of wrestling with Mormonism, I left.

I had been a tithe paying recommend holding member for years. I went to church every Sunday. I always said I would never belong to the church for someone, and I would never leave for, or because of someone. I met plenty of offensive, crazy, out of line people while being a member. I have to say most of them were in high leadership positions. People who had no position or power in their lives would be given a little power over people at church, and it would get totally out of control. I would like to thank those people. Their arrogance and nasty dispositions led me to the truth.

Were it not for them, I may have stayed all my life. I couldn't wrap my mind around why God would want these people in charge of the truly humble and spiritual. I saw it over and over. I started to realize it was more about getting the job done, than about spirituality.

I wanted it to be true. As I got older I didn't think it was that difficult to live. There were leaders that insisted on making it all about doing. I tried to avoid them. I knew better. To me, being spiritual had nothing to do with meetings, numbers, ancestors, money, or even what others thought of me in any way. It was a place I went that brought me peace and comfort. I never met a leader that agreed with that. To them it was all about doing and being until you dropped from the exhaustion of it all. That is no way to live life. The chapel was filled with guilt ridden, exhausted, resentful people every Sunday. Something was wrong. A sp that I had the misfortune of knowing insisted that I ignore Christ's teachings and sacrifice. He demanded that I answer to him, or else. The "or else" was I had no chance of going to heaven or ever seeing my children and husband again after I died.

Because of him, I came home and got online. It was time to see why the good ole boys in slc didn't want me to know or read anything except what they had to say. All my life I'd heard what they had to say, and it wasn't adding up. In fact it was looking down right abusive. They seemed just a little too frantic in their pleas. A little too threatening. Nothing about it was bringing spiritual calm into my life.

If you're reading this, you've most likely done your own research, or are in the process, and you know why I finally left. The church is not what it claims to be. It has lied to me and 7 generations of my family, and continues to do so. It has robbed my family of physical, mental and spiritual health. It has also robbed us millions of dollars over the generations. They have done this with lies, threats, and fear.

I just wish I could have known what I know now, when I was younger. It would have changed my life. I have a lifetime of decision making according to the churches pattern. It has been a disaster. I have 6 brothers and sisters. I am the only one who has left. I am the only one who doesn't take anti depressants. I will probably be the only person in my family to leave. It's so sad. In spite of that, I'm still extremely happy that I'm out. My husband and children left with me. I am very lucky.