Date: August 04, 2016 12:11PM
Good Day all,
I will try to be quick, about how i fell in this trap. (Please excuse my writing, as I’m not native English speaker)
I'm From Dominican republic, and used to be a catholic until i was about 17, but due to things i did not like about it, i just quit that religion, and started to just claim myself as a not religious believer of God. Well, now I’m 28, and Missionaries came to my home last Jan (7 Months ago), and i welcomed them with my mom *which is a devote catholic), however, i knew plenty of Joseph Smith backgrounds and was always skeptically with them, as almost 10 years ago, i learnt with other missionaries about their doctrine, but i did not believe anything due to my own reasoning and research, and they stopped visiting us. But this time they got to convince me (at the last moment).
I’m still in shock when i see the pictures of that baptism last Saturday, it's hard to believe that regardless all the times i said NO to them, that i did not want to be part of any religion, that i did again my own research, and discover new odd stuff about the church, question them a lot, and that i had never felt the spirit with them (as i always told them), i ended up giving up on my denial, i have to say that i got along with the missionaries very well, and we developed nice relations (Epic fail i guess), but that was never a reason to not tell them my thoughts and that I did not believe the things they did.
One of the things that i think gave them green light, was that i was very curious this time, and as i have some neighbors that are Mormons, I asked a family to take me to church one Sunday, after that i kept going (not always, but frequently, even though my plan was just being an investigator, until i quit assisting to church, They were very interested in me changing my opinion, they took me to about 4 baptisms (to see if i could get motivated by that) and i even went to Missions president’s house (which i found too ostentatious, compared to the many struggles these missionaries are going through due to lack of money), i just did not know that MPs were paid by the church.
The thing is that during the past 7 months, they had given me 3 baptisms dates, which i refuse obviously, i also told them that they could stop coming to my house if they wanted cause no way i was going to get baptized, the last date they gave me was last Saturday 30th, and my interview was supposed to be on Jul 23th (a week before) i did not go to, and they went to my house, where i told them i was not going to take it cause i was more doubtful than before with their religion, SO they went, but another fact, one of the missionaries that started with me at first, was promoted to Zone leader, and finally to MP assistant (due to the so may baptisms he had performed), even though he went to another zone, he was always checking up on my progression, so when he found out i did not go to the last interview, he told the missionaries that i should do the interview even if my answer is negative, so they called me on Sunday 24th to do the interview that same day, or at least on Tuesday 26th (4 days prior the white night of baptisms), i told them i would do it on Tuesday, well that interview lasted almost 2 hours, and at the end i end up signing the paper (due to a question I asked the interviewer, as I had been having terrible nightmares, and as an idiot thought this may could help me), but when I went home I still felt I should not do it, cause I just did not believe the Joseph Smith story at all, so I said to myself I would not do it anyways.
Finally, last Saturday 30th came, and I was in total denial, I was sure I wasn’t getting baptized, cause they came to my home the day before to finish filling some paper, and I told them NO, but they were ignoring me, and not respecting my decision like if my desire did not counted (they were also avoiding me the days before, in order I couldn’t tell them I changed my mind), they told me that I should be at church at 5.30 PM, So that Saturday at 5:31 pm (so that there wouldn’t be chance to have them pushing me) I sent them a message, telling them that I was definitely NOT ready to do this and to no wait for me. But even though they were already staring their white night baptism, they went to my house to convince me to do it, they were at my door and I did not answer, so they called me and I came out, I kept saying NO, but the last alternative they had was make a very nice 72 year old woman, that we used to visit a lot and that they had baptized, to convince me (that lady is not brainwashed, cause she is sick and almost never goes to church, and also still consider herself as catholic, but she has been very nice with them, provided them food etc.), so I went with her.
Finally at the chapel, they gave me the baptism clothes, and I had a meeting with the bishop, almost 30 minutes inside, who also convince me to do this, even when I told him all my worries. And I did it. Like an idiot, like a ROBOT, as someone going against herself. I felt weird, that woman also went with me to get the confirmation of holy ghost the Sunday after. I felt worst. How can someone follow something they don’t believe in??? That was ME HOW DUMB!!!
Missionaries went 2 days after this, and I did not had the chance to tell them in their faces, how bad I felt by taking this decision under pressure, but I sent them a message (hope they had seen it), and I’m also contacting the bishop, in order to not register my name as a member of the church (too late, cause he told me they already did). I had cried about this and I am So Pissed at myself as never been before, I hope I can help others with this experience, and also myself, in order to never do something like this again. But the fact is that is done, I never want to go back to that church again, and have told that to some members who were congratulating me (how ironic).
Sorry for not keeping my promise of being ‘’Quick’’ but there is just so much going on through my head
Thanks for taking the time to read this and If you have some advice, will be well received, even though, what is done is done.