Date: October 16, 2015 12:20AM
I was a convert pre 1978 when blacks were finally allowed the priesthood. I came from a very liberal but fractured family who were very distressed that I wanted to join a blatantly racist church. But I'm white and at 16 did not know any black people, so I begged and threatened my mom for permission to be baptized. All during my 40 years in the faith I kept looking for the church the missionaries told me about to no avail. insteaf I saw the most racist people I have ever known. Not to mention how utterly marginalized and exploited women are. I chalked it it to the fault of individual members not the doctrine. I have a happy marriage and that's how I account for staying do long.Through him I was able to manipulate the patriarchal system. But it all fell through when one of my children came out as gay. Fortunately this child left the church as soon as it became apparent.For me it was not do easy. I heard many stories of marriages falling apart when one of the spouses loses their belief. Finally after s bout with depression, a mid life crisis I finally admitted what the real problem was. A friend helped me join a Facebook support group called Mam Dragons. Thanks to my moms example and some dear friends who were gay, I never had any problems accepting my child. But I saw do much sorrow as my sister Mama Dragons lost children to suicide over anguish about being gay. I realized that this wasn't sone doctrine that "offended me" but some doctrine that was killing kids!!! My faith completely unravelled. Up until recently I never knew anyone who's kids attempted suicide and now I knew many! With the encouragement of a friend I finally got the nerve to tell my husband of my doubts. After a few months of thinking about it he agreed and we left a year ago. Only regret? I wish if left sooner.