i was born and raised a mormon in a small town with an overwhelming majority of mormons. my husband and i went to school together all our lives. he is catholic. we fell in love our freshmen year in high school and i was forbidden to be with him. we ended up breaking up but neither one of us could let go entirely. our senior year we got back together and we were serious. he asked me to marry him shortly after we got together and i knew it was what i wanted more than anything even though according to the mormons we could not be together "forever". that thought scared me because though i didnt agree with some of the mormon teachings i still wanted to believe that it was the true church of God. my parents were irate when they found out i was dating him behind their backs. i wasnt allowed to leave the house except with my "approved" friends. i would find ways to be with him anyway though. then he got me a ring and thats when my parents realized this little "problem" wasnt going away. they finally decided to try reverse psychology on me and just let me do what i wanted (but they didnt approve so they would not pay for me to have a cell phone and i could not use their car) and then hope we would get tired of each other and everything would be okay. well you see crazy thing about love: it doesnt just go away like that. he would come pick me up everyday so we could be together. it killed my parents that he wasnt mormon but i didnt care he wasnt and i wasnt going to try to change him because i love him for who he is and being mormon would have changed his very personality. well then i got pregnant. according to mormons this is a huge sin since we werent married yet. but i never once felt guilty for it. a baby is a blessing no matter what they say. when my dad said i was going to move away to work for the summer i knew it was just another attempt to keep me away from my husband. i ran away. i had told my best friend who had recently converted to mormonism that i was pregnant and she acted so excited but then when i ran away she told the whole mormon community basically so the mormons gossipped like they do and my parents were "horrible parents". it hurt that my friend betrayed me and i wasnt the one to tell my family that i was going to have a baby (because obviously the mormon community told them before i could). but eventually everything blew over my parents forgave me for the most part. and i was still mormon-my most redeeming quality (sarcasm). but as anyone who has a different religion than their spouse knows, religion will get talked about. my husband didnt care i was mormon he never tried to pressure me to be catholic. we just discussed. i must admit tho that often i would end up angry at him but it was only because he would ask an innocent question and i would feel threatened because in all honesty i had no answer to it. if i had asked church leaders similar questions the only answer i would ever get was "have faith" so it was my fault if i was having a hard time believing. i didnt have anough faith. so when my husband would ask these very same questions i felt like if i had more faith i would be able to answer him. but no. no amount of faith could turn lies into reality. i started researching. i went to my husband's great-grandfather's mass with him and i found that i really liked what the priest was saying and how the mass flowed and i just felt...great. i had long ago stopped enjoying mormon church and only went because it was expected of me. but i was already a screw up what with being in love with a nonmember and pregnant with his son out of wedlock. so i stopped going. and of course family members made it a point to try to get me back. visiting teachers even tried to come to our house. finally i had to be rude to my family members and tell them that going to church was my decision. so stop pressuring me. that was the nice version actually.. but they did leave it alone after that. after months of research and pleading with God to let me know what i should do, i decided that i really didnt believe what the mormons were teaching, and i really didnt like the fact that they tried to hide so much of their history from their members. (mountain meadows massacre anyone?) and basically made you feel like you were following Satan if you used anything but approved mormon reading to find out more about the church. if they were the true church what would they have to be afraid of? so i talked to my husband more about his religion. catholism is beautiful and truly gives me peace. if only my family could see it that way. my dad said hateful things about my new religion said everything short of i was going to hell. it hurt. but it didnt make me change my mind. i couldnt go back to the brainwashed thinking of the mormons. i had learned too much. we didnt talk for a week and when we finally did it was strained. i think hes getting over it now but i know he feels that i am making a big mistake. i made a deal with him that if he does not preach mormonism to my son i will not tell my sisters the things i learned about mormonism. its a thin agreement but its all i have to make sure my son doesnt get brainwashed too.i hope someday my family will be able to accept my husband for who he really is and that they will be able to see that joseph smith isnt all hes cracked up to be.. until then im dealing with the fallout day by day.