A little about me:
I am 27 years old and live in the Pacific Northwest. My DD is 2, and my DH is currently deployed. Until today, I *was* a BIC.

I found an online template on and essentially filled in the blanks. I had it notarized, copied, and I had the envelope assigned a tracking number AND a return receipt. Overkill, but this made me confident.

I made the decision to leave TSSC because I cannot reconcile TSSC's:
-polygamy
-dishonesty, especially regarding the above
-violence aka MMM
-child sex abuse
-"Big Brother"
-the rampant sexism and the regard of women as 2nd-class citizens
-racism
-exclusive PH and the abuse of its "power"
-mandatory tithing, and misuse and secrecy of use of funds
-temples and secrecy
-the BoM
-the RS essentially acting as a huge sorority
-changes and inconsistencies
-hypocrites
-JS
The above are not exhaustive.

My heart left the COJCOLDS 12 years ago in 2002-2003, but I made the decision to formally do so today. For now I am simply a MINO, until I will undoubtedly hear from TSSC HQs. I was in the middle of my high school tenure in 2002. I had begin to realize that I was different from my peers, and not in a good way. Being a member in high school, in the buckle of the Bible Belt, set you up for merciless taunts and bullying. A peer went so far as to call my Church a "cult." They were right.

My father was the county judge in a small, rural, predominantly Southern Baptist town, where everyone concurred that dancing and drinking were sins (but secretly smoked p0t). Rumors viciously spread that my father had a "second wife" illicitly "on the side." This meant I endured merciless mistreatment in school. People "looked" at me differently. Mothers had told their children to steer clear of my siblings and me. This ended when my father lost a second re-election and got a different job down south in a more liberal area.

This started me critically thinking--TSSC doesn't like it when the sheep begin to think for themselves, because then COJCOLDS loses their grip on them.

I remember expressing to my overly pious TBM mother my desire to not go to Church. She threatened punishment if I so much as brought up again the mere mention of a contrary thought. OMG I loved her but her piety had made her stubborn as a mule and blind to the truth.

For a while I secretly indulged in and explored Wicca and Witchcraft. Found out I didn't like the scent of sandalwood and patchouli, and that Paganism had its own issues and problems.

I graduated in high school in 2005 and went abroad for a year as an exchange student to Asia. My host parents knew I was a member. Being abroad meant I was free from 'neath the thumb of my mother. I didn't attend a single SM in Asia. My host family asked why I didn't go to Church. Their understanding was that TBMs were pious. I explained that my FAMILY were TBMs but that I was a MINO. They didn't complain. Church didn't matter to them. For all they knew, TSSC was simply another Xian sect in Asia where everyone else was Buddhist or something else.

I returned home, got a job, and went to school. I went to SM occasionally, schoolwork being my excuse.

I met my DH in 2007 when I had gotten a different job. We clicked immediately. He is my "first." My mother, though pious to an extreme degree, was extremely intuitive and somehow garnered that I'd had s*x even though I wasn't married. I think by this point her zeal had calmed, as she didn't seem as angered by this as when in high school I expressed contrary thoughts. I remember her telling me that I had better pop out lots of grandbabies for her.

Mother died in a car accident in 2007. I was devestated. My depression (misdiagnosed as bipolar then) grew overwhelming, and I had to be hospitalized. After I was observed, I experienced an identity crisis. Suddenly TSSC I had grown up in seemed the refuge I had been looking for since my mother's death. TSSC was happy to have me. I suddenly wanted to abandon my schooling and job for a mission. I tried to convert my DH who was then my fiance.(We had gotten engaged the week of Mother's death). My fiance didn't want to be a member. He was happy being Atheist. But he still attended missionary discussions with me, bearing my temporary insanity and identity crisis with patience. He said that if I wanted to go on a mission, that was ok, if that was what made me happy, and that he'd wait for me.

The bishop mandated I forgo sex if I was to go on a mission. Apparently virginity wasn't requesite then. I found I loved having sex with my fiance greater than my desire to serve a mission. I abruptly abandoned the cause.

A few months later, I was starting to accept and properly grieve my mother's death.

I routinely tried Paganism over and over, about once a year. I resisted TSSC's grasp. Paganism would seem like a good idea; then I'd burn out as quickly as the flame of a spell candle. Plus I never really got the chance to meet other pagans, and I think if I had, I'd be in a coven right now.

Fast forward to 2011. I'm marrying DH. Local bishop is the officiator. DH had made the decision to enter the Army, but only with my express consent. Not that my DH needs my consent. He was being considerate, as he always had been.

FF to 2012. I had visited DH for bct grad. I get pregnant and have the baby right after he got deployed. After that we PCS to the Pac NW. Soon he's deployed again. We live offpost. A year since PCSing has passed. I still don't know anyone here.

I have sudden dizzy spells. A 7 hour ER stint gets me a diagnosis of BPPV. I already have low thyroid, depression, siatica, herniated vertebrae, and CFS and migraines. I am unsteady on my feet. I have a toddler. I am a SAHM. I am suddenly struggling to function. Caring for DD is overwhelming. Dear Brother just got married 2 weeks prior in the KSC temple to a woman who ought to be a model. I can't drive. My only friend lives on post, can't drive, and is in school full time. She can't help. I had another friend, but she suddenly has blocked all communication.

I am desperate and alone. The thought to look for a ward and calling a bishop comes out of nowhere. But I am desperate. I will do anything.

I call the bishop, asking if this the right ward. I get his wife. She tells him. He tells the RS pres. to call VTs and me. VT calls. VT comes over and visits.

I had been feeling quite a bit better by now. I didn't feel as physically overwhelmed. If BPPV was what I had, then it seemed like I was beginning to manage it ok.

I begin to research TSSC on the net. I rediscover "anti" resources. All the reasons why I had avoided TSSC in the 1st place come rushing back to me. The thought of enduring another SM or FT puts my stomach in knots.

I talk to my father. He concurs TSSC's problems.

I feel brave. I feel like I know what I have to do.

I sent the letter this afternoon. Notarized. Copied. Tracked. Return receipt.

Suddenly the bishop calls my phone. He asks if he and one of his counselors can come over. No reason given.

I feel as if they know. Impossible.

I didn't know what to say. I said I was busy and hung up. I wasn't rude, but I WAS brusque.


But now, I am free, from TSSC. I have to be brave. I must resist contact with PH leaders and VTs and other TBM species. I feel a hint of guilt.

But the guilt is gone.