In 1967-68 I was dating a young man for almost 2 years. In 68-69, my junior HS year I was 7 months carrying our child. We both were LDS and I was raised in a very strict LDS household.

My Father held a position in the Bishoprick and my mother was involved in primary, sunday school and actually the two of them were always serving the church and never at home with the 5 of us children.

When the young man,(Ed) who was my first love, and I actually thought loved me, found out I was with child, he deferred to his mom.

His mom, also very active in the LDS Church, made it very clear that if I insisted on having the baby that she would send Ed off to relatives in Hawaii and I would never see him again. (I was hurt because I thought he would stand beside me) but soon figured it out that he had his own agenda that didn't include me or our child.

He went on a mission soon after that, the church not knowing what had happened between the two of us.

My Parents weren't much better. They took me to the Relief Society Adoption Agency, SLC, UT, and without any discussion with me, made arrangements for me to Nanny for a home in the SLC area.

When I went into labor and I called my parents, they told me to call the adults of the home I was living with (who were out with friends), to come home and take me to the hospital.

I remember very little from that point on.. My parents had made an appearance earlier that day to tell me about a death in the family of someone I was very close to and I think I was still in shock from that.

I do remember they put me completely out at the hospital. When I occasionally woke up during labor my Aunt would be sitting with me.

When I was forced to sign the adoption papers it was my Maternal Grandfather that sat with me for hours until I had the courage to do so.

My parents refuse any information to me. I have no information on my baby at all. Was the baby a male/female, was the baby healthy, what adoption agency was it, what hospital was it....I have no information at all..

I am the birthmother of my baby, but the real mother is the woman that raised my child. I just would like some information so that I can finalize the healing process.

My parents, June and Larry were not nurturing parents in any sense of the word. They both held high positions in the church and yet my Dad committed incest on a regular basis and my mom said nothing. My dad drank and smoked and it was up to us children in the family to make sure the beer cans and ash trays were out of site should church members came over.

I am now non-denominational Christian and believe in the sacrifices of Christ so I, a sinner, could have eternal salvation, but I do need some answer about the baby I gave birth to, just for my own healing.

It's been too long coming and my parents still refuse me any information.

If your have any information please contact me a deb.barber83@live.com.

God Bless You All