Since birth, I was raised in the Mormon church. I went through my childhood believing in the church and "knowing it was true". I was baptized, became a deacon, became a teacher, and stopped there. At about 14 I began to question the meaning of the church, and began to research about the truths of the church, and I soon find out the true meaning of the church. I found out it was a cult. I found I had been brainwashed to blindly follow the religion at all times. I had find that what I thought was my existence was a complete lie. I had no idea what to do. My life felt empty, meaningless, and without hope. I figured I had no reason to be here. I hated myself and my existence. I was diagnosed with depression, and began to see a therapist. This should have helped, but things only went downhill. My depression got worse. I became suicidal. And one day, I began to think about how pointless life is, and I decided to off with myself. Taking those pills seemed to be a better option than continuing on with my life. I was hospitalized for 16 days, after this my life was never the same way again, but in a way, things started to take a positive spin. I realized that life was a beautiful thing, and that life is a journey, whether or not it has complete meaning. I also began to realize how good it was that I had escaped the Mormon church. The church nearly killed me, and nearly ruined my life. I wish I would have never been born into the church. I wish I would have never been brainwashed. The church is pure evil, and I find it sad that the rest of my family is still involved with it.