I am currently in the process of having my name removed from LDS church records. In a way, this is difficult, because there are good people in the church that I love and know truly believe what this church teaches. I do not. I am asked what bothers me and if I say that I do not believe God was a man that was exalted and thus became a God, I am quickly corrected that he was always God and questioned as to who taught me such a thing, I refer to pg 279 of the gospel principles book. It's scary sometimes to listen to people bear their testimonies and find out they do not really know what the church teaches.

However, my decision to leave is on a more personal note. In the summer of 2012, I was staying in the home of the first counsel in the bishopric. One night I woke up at 3am with him sexually touching me. He told me that no one would believe me and even if they did, no one (including the leadership) would do anything about it because he was an anointed member of the church and each endowed member agrees (in the temple) not to speak against another (to protect the reputation of the church). This proved to be true! I was shocked when addressing this with the Bishop, he mocked me. How sad.

Previous to this, the same man gave me a blessing and included in it that I would be sealed to him. The image going through my mind was very different. I rejected this idea by saying I had prayed and knew I would not! He told his wife (of which he was divorcing) that I was the competition and gave her phone numbers of my clients. She went on a rampage calling them, saying I was having an affair with her husband. Totally false. My clients concern was not that I might be having an affair, but that I was Mormon. This destroyed my business and gradually ruined my credit because of the loss of income. I lived in my car for the next two years, while still a member.

During this time, my Bishop asked me to do nothing to defend myself. He hoped this man was really going to leave his Buddhist wife. She was an inactive LDS member who had only joined after finding out she was pregnant and then returned to her beliefs. This man, her husband, claimed to marry her only because she was going to abort the baby. This man, a return missionary, had sex with her on their first date. Their lives remain in constant turmoil and drama because they failed to obey the Law of Chasity.

This same man has a problem with pornography. After the leadership was made aware of it and he admitted to this, he was then called to be a seminary teacher. He has been arrested for assault on his Asian mother-in-law, rumored (by his family) to hit his children, and physically assaulted me twice...once in the temple.

So when I look back through my time in different wards, I have never seen such behavior as this. My heart breaks when I think of how hurtful people can be to one another.

My Patriarchal Blessing tells me I will be called to all three levels of the church and hold callings in every organization where women preside, yet, my Bishop finds me unworthy to be even a visiting teacher. He sides with this man who has told me he believes Satan rules his home...because of his Buddhist wife being crazy. I have not been allowed to have visiting or home teachers for over two years, so from time to time friends from an adjoining ward have taken these roles to comfort me.. This situation has shown me who this Bishop is and what he values. The Bishop, a man I once loved and respected above anyone else I knew.

The stress of this situation led to a three day stay at the hospital because my blood pressure (235/120) and glucose (415) were out of control and at stroke and heart attack level. After being released from the hospital, the Bishop said he was fed up with me and no longer knew what to do with me and he would not assist me in getting back on my feet. This resulted in having to sleep in the Meijer's parking lot for an additional five weeks in cold weather. The same place I had been sleeping before I went to the hospital. Did he feel this would teach me to be obedient?...it did....obedient to God, my eternal Father.

A few weeks ago, I was approved for an apartment after 24 months of living in my car. The Bishop had told me previously that he was going to help with the rent but could not help with the deposit. I found out through the Bishop's wife, he did not plan to help in any way, although he continually encouraged me to look for housing and had also said he wanted to get me stabilized and back to the point before the first counselor destroyed my business. Sad, a man who claims to follow God's will believes he is punishing me for questioning doctrinal issues I don't quite understand and calling out an abuser.

All I wanted was to move to another ward away from the man who had hurt me. I asked the Bishop to support me in this. He said he would think about it but I belong to a church that makes its members attend according to where they live. As of today, he's still thinking...three months and counting. Why so long when it only took the Priesthood (God) 6 days to create the Earth. So today, I decided to email the Bishop my decision to protect myself from a church that allows abuse and covers it up, of course, this is in my opinion. My blessing tells me to teach, so I will spend the rest of my life teaching the truth, as I know it, about this church. I am quite saddened by what has happened.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2014 10:25PM by singleunendowedsis.