Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forum; just thought I'd post my exit story.

I was raised a TBM all my life by a RM and my wonderful mother, and throughout my childhood, I remember small things that didn't make sense about the church. I've always doubted the existence of God, and when I was baptized, it disturbed me that I didn't have any sort of special experience or confirmation. But I buried these feelings and just accepted it, and assumed the church was true and that God really did exist. About a year ago, during the summer break leading into my senior year, I realized the gravity of serving a mission and realized I needed to really know if the church was true or not. So I studied, and learned things about the church I had never heard of that led me to conclude that it was not true. It happened so fast, too. After surfing various websites for about an hour, then praying for help, I had concluded God as I understood him did not exist and the church was false. I continued to study, and started to study apologetic resources such as FAIR. I also read part of "The History of the Church."
I came out as an atheist and an exmo within the next month over Facebook. That was a bad decision on my part, because then all hell broke loose. My parents were heartbroken and felt like it was their fault (which strengthened my convictions against the church for causing them that pain). People messaged me and talked to me, some concerned for my salvation with, telling me I have been deceived, but many others with messages of support, even one from a TBM.
I just wish I had faked it until college. My grandparents may not support me financially now because of my new convictions, and my parents have taken heat for my apostasy, as if it's their fault.
At the same time, I've been able to enjoy being an exmo. My depression has lessened, and my mind is less cluttered with worry. I'm able to focus more on things that matter, like my relationships with others and my education. I get two years of my prime to enjoy instead of serving a mission. I gave my virginity to my wonderful girlfriend just a few weeks ago,(two days before I turned 18) which was a wonderful and eye-opening experience. And I'm starting to see mormons for what they are. TBMs have no elevated morality, they're just people like everyone else. My parents force me to go to church by threatening me to take away my privileges like driving if I don't, and not taking the sacrament is a wonderful moment for me. It's when I demonstrate my independence, and it's a reminder for me that I'm now free from the beliefs of mormonism that caused me so much pain.

Feel free to respond; I'd love to hear your thoughts about my story, and how you can relate.

~celloman



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2014 12:26PM by celloman.