The unintended comedy keeps on comin.'
According to RfM poster "ex_sushi_chef" (who occasionally drops in for a visit from the Twilight Zone), my grandfather, Ezra Taft Benson, was afraid of being murdered by evil forces residing in the LDS Church Office Building headquarters in downtown Salt Lake City--and confided his fear in that regard to his personal massage therapist.
The source of this Tantalizing Tale fron Beyond the Veil is identified as Kevin Kraut, son of Ogden Kraut--the latter who was a fundy Mormon and author of the book, "Jesus Was Married." As they say, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.
Here's a little on the voodoo views of Kevin's dad, Ogden:
Not only did O. Kraut assert that Jesus tied the matrimonial knot while in the flesh, he claimed that Jesus tied it with more than one woman at the same time. In support of this polygamous premise, O. Kraut predictably quotes none other than early LDS apostle Jedediah Grant, who preached that this proved Jesus was a Mormon:
"The grand reason for the burst of public sentiment in anathemas upon Christ and his disciples, causing his crucifixion, was evidently based upon polygamy, according to the testimony of the philosophers who rose in that age. A belief in the doctrine of a plurality of wives caused the persecution of Jesus and his followers. We might almost think they were 'Mormons.'
"What does old Celsus say, who was a physician in the first century, whose medical works are esteemed very highly at the present time? His works on theology were burned with fire by the Catholics, they were so shocked at what they called their impiety. Celsus was a heathen philosopher; and what does he say upon the subject of Christ and his Apostles, and their belief? He says, 'The grand reason why the Gentiles and philosophers of his school persecuted Jesus Christ, was because he had so many wives; there were Elizabeth, and Mary, and a host of others that followed him.'
"After Jesus went from the stage of action, the apostles followed the example of their master. For instance, John the Beloved Disciple, writes in his second epistle, 'Unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the truth.' Again, he says, 'Having many things to write unto you (or communicate), I would not write with paper and ink; but I trust to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.' Again--'The children of thy elect sister greet thee." This ancient philosopher says they were both John's wives. Paul says, 'Mine answer to them that do examine me is this: `Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas.'" He, according to Celsus, had a numerous train of wives.'"
O. Kraut adds that Jesus must have approved of the p-word because he never condemned it:
"Although the practice of plural marriage was commonly known and believed by many people in the Jewish society, it was never condemned by Jesus. The Savior had surely witnessed plural marriage, heard it taught and, of course, had read of the many examples of this law in the scriptures; yet there is no evidence that he opposed or refuted that practice. He spoke of strict moral issues which pertained to every physical or mental sin involving sex, but the word 'polygamy' was never refuted, nor did he utter a word against those prophets and patriarchs who had obeyed this principle of marriage.
"Because Jesus took no issue against polygamy, it is therefore implied that Jesus must have sanctioned that law. This fact was generally understood and accepted by many scriptorians and reformers."
(Jedediah Grant, "Journal of Discourses," vol. 1, p. 346; for the text of Ogden Kraut's book, "Jesus was Married," Chapter 6, "An Everlasint Covenant of Marriage," 1st ed. [Salt Lake City, Utah: Ogden Kraut, 1969], see:
http://www.i4m.com/think/bible/Jesus_Was_Married.htm)
Interestingly enough, my grandfather had a copy of Ogden Kraut's book, "Jesus Was Married," in his personal library, which he gave to me. I eventually sold it to a second-hand bookstore, "Benchmark Books," located just off the I-15 freeway in Salt Lake City.
____
But I digress.
Poster "ex_sushi_chef's" appeal to Ogden Kraut's son, Kevin, is where we left off--at the point where K. Kraut was claiming, on authority from ETB's devoted "massage therapist," the existence of a plot--put together, no less, deep in the heart of the Mormon Church's very own HQ--to rub out (so to speak) Ezra Taft Benson.
As proof of that dastardly plan, "suckered sushi" asks with great fervor:
" . . . [H]ow about this one??: 'Ezra Taft Benson Identifies The Modern Day Gadiantons, by Kevin Kraut,'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvSYj2pE7NI"Do you think he is nuts, too?? While you are claiming your are the only one sane and pure. [J]ust [a] joke."
("Re: ex-sushi chef: You've apparently gotten food poisoning from eating raw fish," by "ex_sushi_chef," on "Recovery from Mormonism" discussion board, 30 JMuly 2013m at:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,974816,974876#msg-974876)
Jesus, Jedediah and Just a Joker, indeed.
According to this Kevin Kraut fellow who appeals to the authority of ETB's masseuse, ETB--in a recent "first talk" in General Conference--ripped on the Illuminati. Ya don't say. I'd like to have a citation for that claim, if you don't mind.
K. Kraut goes on to reveal that ETB's former "massage therapist" relayed to him (K. Kraut) that he (the massage therapist) had gone to ETB's Church office to do the massages on ETB (which Kraut said this Mormon masseuse performed regularly) and asked ETB if he (ETB) was afraid of being murdered by his enemies in Washington, D.C.
At that point, according to the massager's message, ETB motionied the masseuse over to ETB's Church office window, where ETB pulled back the curtains and "pointed down" to "the Church headquarters," which ETB identified to the massager as being ETB's first source of worry when it came to his own personal safety.
Really now.
It's telling how K. Kraut words the narrative: He says the massage therapist claimed he was working on ETB, as in "up with him up in the [pause] . . . up in his office." Yeah, up in that "the-his" office--the precise geographical location of which K. Kraut can't seem to pinpoint for his rapt audience.
Here's the rub: the story's a lie, and I'll tell you why.
There could have been no "up in his office" from which ETB "pointed down" to the "Church headquarters," for the simple reason that my grandfather's personal Church office was in the low-slung Church Administration Building, on the second floor. In other words, my grandfather's office wasn't "up" in the "Church headquarters"--meaning the 28-story "high-rise" (as Apostle Dallin Oaks once dismissively referred to it in a conversation I had with him and fellow Apostle Neal Maxwell in Maxwell's Church office, up one floor in Room 303, which itself was located in the same Church Administration BUilding where ETB's office was).
By their fruitcakes, ye shall know them.
I wish these folks would get their goofy gospel straight before peddling it here. It'll only prove embarrassing to their kids. And coming from, of all people, a Mormon massage therapist. That just, well, rubs me the wrong way.
Edited 36 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2013 12:45PM by steve benson.