"Who says in order to have a child you have to have so much money in the bank?" said Jacob Anderegg, a state representative. He and his wife Julie, parents of three biological children, decided to adopt after visiting an elementary school associated with an orphanage while in China for a study-abroad program."
As a child, I was adopted locally thru the state. My parents told me that even in the early 80s it cost more than 20K and the wait list was 5 years. They went thru background checks, home inspections, interviews and everything meanwhile my aunts and uncles were getting knocked up in the backseats of chevys with nobody inquiring how they intended to potty train their kids or measuring their railings.
My parents were childless. This was the only way they can have a child. I don't understand people who have several of their own kids adopting even more. I guess its your business if you can afford it, but if you cant. . . that seems ridiculous. . . I don't know what these adoptive parents have going on in their heads. Maybe they have completely noble intentions, but to me it seems faddish to insist on overseas adoption and it discounts all the local kids in need.
I'm probably sensitive to the subject simply because of my background and most certainly biased, but they are just my initial thoughts. I don't know how I would have felt living in a family mixed with bio and adopted kids. I just feel like there are so many ways feelings could get hurt.
Such people are either collectors or they want to add extra members to the Mormon church.
But Mormon or not, it's just not fair to the children they already have.
You'd think their first priority would be to enrich the lives of their own offspring. But instead, they often shackle them with misery and numerous shortages.
I've adopted Russian orphans from overseas. Twice. We didn't know our first little girl, Sasha, even had an older sister. The girls were separated and placed in different orphanages when the state took them from their birth mother for horrendous abuse.
We simply could not afford the second international adoption when we found out about big sister, Marina. But I moved heaven and earth over a 2 year period to reunite those two little girls, literally.
My undergrad degree is in broadcast journalism, and I worked in the industry in my 20's. I knew exactly how to generate a media campaign and nationwide fundraiser to pay for our adoption. And I did. We raised the $25K necessary to complete a Russian adoption in less than a year (that was the cost in 2002).
Live TV crews were waiting at the airport when we disembarked from the plane and our daughters were reunited (after a 5-year separation!).
For at least two years after that, the girls were constantly recognized in public: "Oh, you're those two Russian sisters!" I still believe the whole thing was a miracle, but I don't believe in all of the LDS "personal revelation" that drove much of my zeal.
I don't regret what I did. At all. And, yes, I'm a "collector." We are what is known as a "rainbow family." I have other "diverse" adopted and bio children.
Big story. No time to expand now.
;o)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2013 04:08PM by shannon.
To make matters worse, children put up for international adoption in China May not be unwanted. There is a huge kidnapping problem - children are sold to Americans for a huge profit. Then local officials seize unauthorized children to sell if parents go over the one child rule. The adoption trade drives this, if officials didn't make a profit the parents would just get a fine like they did before the adoption trade exploded.
Having adopted two kids from China myself, I find this highly sensationalist. The problem of abandoned girls is still pretty significant. I've got contacts who work in Chinese orphanages and there is no shortage of female babies whose parents have abandoned them in hopes that a third child would be male.
The adoption process from China is very tightly controlled. Children aren't sold to Americans. If you hadn't gone through the official process, the US consulate wont give you a visa and you couldn't bring the child home
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2013 08:05PM by excatholic.
I have zero interest in these kinds of selfish folks. I adopted two children through the state foster care system. I paid $500 for attorney fees, and my work reimbursed that! There are so many children here that desperately want and need homes! If you've got lots of money, do what you want, but don't tell me it costs tens of thousands of dollars to share the life of a child! Of course, maybe the children are a different color or have some challenges. International adoptions can have lots of issues too!
I've never understood my parents in regards to adoption. They had 10 kids and wanted more. They spent 20K in 1986 to get 2 sisters from Korea.
But they "tried out" several foster kids we would have for a week or two. My mother (now in her 70s) always wanted International and trying out the foster kids was to see if she could overcome her international thing. It never worked.
When those poor girls came my mother didn't treat them well.
I will never understand this desire. It didn't seem to be about helping kids from my perspective.
Oh, and my parents were friends with a couple who adopted a bunch of foster kids with disabilities. My mother would talk about this couple in a strange adulating voice. Creeped me out.
I am glad that couple helped so many disabled kids. My parents on the other hand, well it went down a social services taking them from them road.
My parents had 6 kids and lived in a 3 bedroom rambler. It had a tiny kitchen, a tiny livingroom, and one bathroom.
We were already living 3 kids to a bedroom (about 10x10).
They decided they were going to try and adopt SIX kids from another family. I have no idea why they thought this would be a good idea. They couldn't provided time, attention, or basic needs to the 6 they already had. It would have meant adding three more kids in each bedroom. That's SIX kids to a bedroom.
My mother was already at the end of her rope. Her mental capabilities were already at the end. My father was never home. He was either at work or church. That would have left my mother with 12 kids in about 1800sq ft. of living space, with no money, no car, and no mental or physical energy to deal with any of it. This was a woman who made it clear that she never wanted more than 3 kids.
It was one of the few prayers I ever remember having answered. I prayed every night that the adoption agency wouldn't let it happen. Thank god they didn't. The kids were divided up into 3 different very wealthy mormon families.
They would have went from one misery into another if my parents had adopted them.
After that my parents took in several foster kids and one in the indian placement program. They were all a disaster. My parents had no parenting skills. It was all about their egos getting a boost and looking good to the ward. Lucky for me i'd moved out of the house when all of that stupidity was going on.
My parents didn't get along with any of their own children. Maybe they thought other kids would tolerate them better? Not so much.
I adopted three kids out of foster care then went on to birth two more.
The adopted ones had some serious issues arise after puberty began. They molested the two birth kids, The birth kids were scared of them. The adopted ones said they would do it again.
I had to let the adopted ones go.
It kills me everyday.
We did all the therapy and attachment therapy recommended before this happened. It was not enough.
It is the worst thing ever. I miss them. I loved them as much as my birth kids.
Thanks for listening. I can't tell anyone because it is too terrible.