I left the tscc a year after my mission, then met my future wife who was also mormon but after a year or so she was done too. My question is for couples who had spent many married years in the church. what was your pillow talk like? Did you use profanity? I guess what I am asking is what does G rated sex talk sound like?

Heh heh, if I remember correctly (and its been a while) it kind of went like this.

"You wanna?"
"Nope not tonight I have a headache",
"Okay G'night".

If only I had said the second line more often I might have ended up with less kids!

All the best to you and your wife!!

" ... [T]he intimate physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt their intimacy, they offend their Creator while they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts."

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/04/nurturing-marriage?lang=eng

"... [T]he intimate physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt their intimacy, they offend their Creator while they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts."


I suspect that Elder Nelson had no idea whatsoever how many "good" Mormon couples inwardly smiled to themselves when he said those words. Many active Mormon couples have discovered the exact opposite of the outcome he describes.

Mormon-dominated Utah leads the nation in pay per view erotica. It isn't just traveling businessmen, hiding husbands or lonely bachelors who are responsible for those statistics.

Pay per view often has the more "female-oriented" material that women prefer to share with their partners.

TBM for almost 15 years of marriage and we never let the church into the bedroom. In spite of being a true believer, as an adult I did not like being told anything about how my married sex life should go, what movies I should/should not watch, etc. I have no idea if our bedroom relationship is the norm or not.

And what's more CK, it is NONE of our business WHAT it is. You GO girl (or bloke)!!!!!

We would try and decide who would say our couple prayer....

as the priesthood holder it was my job to keep track of who's turn it was balanced with the revelation I received from god about who should speak for us...


It would go something like this:

Me: honey, I would like you to offer tonights' prayer.

Wifey: I said it last night...

Me: I know, but I feel promted that you should say it, after all you are much closer to the lord(my humility at work)

Wifey: I have had a hard day and really need to hear my priesthood holder speak to the lord on our behalf.

Me: OK, HF, even unto, that we might, safety,steadfast,example,be with us, even, some more -that we mights'-, trust in thee, a few thou's, less fortunate, struggling,cheese and rices ramen.


Wifey: Thank you.....

Hol-lee @#%#. I am so glad that I never was, and never will be, a TBM wife.

Hey honey? Come over to myspace & twitter my yahoo till I google all over your facebook.

She let you google on her Facebook? You are a lucky guy!

Hahahahaha!!!

this ain't no bs either

me: Any chance we could make love tonight?

her: will you go to church tomarrow and not sit in the chairs?

me: Yeah, I guess

her: Will you go to all three meetings and not skip out early?

me: Good night

I think it was the late poster jaredsotherbrother who wrote in a similar thread...

"Correlate me! Correlate me, now!"

That still gives me the giggles.

I don't mean to sound obtuse, but does "Correlate" have some Mormon spiritual meaning, other than the usual dictionary meaning?

Having left the church at 22, I've missed out on a lot of Mormon lingo.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2013 05:50PM by Senoritalamanita.

I don't know about spiritual (I'm a nevermo!) but certainly bureaucratic.

I just like conflating of meanings in 'correlate' in a humourous way - jaredsotherbrother was brilliant at that.

"Come, come ye saint."

Perfectly legit TBM pillow talk.

Let us go down.

No? Aww, come on!

"Would you like me to give you one more blessing to count?"

Heh heh, this is a hoot!!! I wish I had the sense of humour lots of you have!!

Here, hold this rod with your sister wives.

For the first year of marriage you have what is known as "house sex". That is when you make love in every room in the house. For years 1-10, you have "bedroom sex" meaning you only make love in the bedroom. After year 10, you have "hallway sex". That is where you pass each other in the hallway and say "fuck you"!