We exmos in the San Francisco Bay Area celebrated July 24th at the Hotel Utah Saloon in the City.

One of our most influential and talented partiers is Donna Banta who is recovering from a grueling recent visit with relatives in Centerville. That's in Davis County, Utah, the place which can't seem to separate church and state from ass and elbow.

Donna and husband Mark said that a stranger from the local post office phoned Grandma's home there recently at 6:00 AM. The news was urgent!

Mail workers had just found the Banta niece's mission call. The family wouldn't have to wait for normal mail delivery. They could rush right over and pick it up by pounding on the Post Office door and calling out to the mail sorters inside.

This seems to be common and expected practice in Davis County as everyone in church the next Sunday said they and their neighbors also receive special phone calls to pick up mission assignment letters without delay.

Is this common practice in Utah?

It seems strange and cultish to me for local postal workers to use their time this way. After all the post office department is part of the federal government, not a branch of the mormon church.

The mission destination for this young niece will be a small Idaho town. The name might be something like Temper or Tamper although I think a good name might also be Podunk.

I think the Davis County area is also where the mission-going high school grads inserted the names of their mission destinations as middle names on their diplomas and in the graduation program, as in "Neil Timbuctoo Pratt" or "Brent Orlando Christensen."

I've been gone from Utah for most of my life so excuse me for thinking this is loony-tuney.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2013 06:27PM by Cheryl.

Ha! I like that I have the reputation for being a talented partier.

I've also read about prayers being snuck into public school graduations and such. Totally inappropriate, IMO.

And now you get your mission call announced at graduation, so you can have an extra strut and get extra applause as you walk to get your diploma.

If you are a boy.

Things somehow always work out better in Utah if you are a boy.

I grew up in Centerville. And yes, this is very common. I know my brothers both got calls from the post office when their mission calls came in, as did most of the other people in my ward.

A few years ago while I was visiting my family (who still live there) over the 4th of July we went to the Centerville parade. One of my mom's ward neighbors always puts on a float where her grandchildren dress up like princesses, and one of her sons is the prince. It's really creepy. But everyone in the ward goes down to see what she's done with it every year.

The best part was when a float went by full of gladiators, with brass breast plate and steel swords and shields. I couldn't figure out what roman gladiators/soldiers had to do with the 4th, so I turned to my brother and said "Why is there a float with Roman soldiers here? What does that have to do with the fourth?"

He got really uncomfortable and told me they were supposed to be Nephites. LOLOLOLOL! Guess I am recovered, because Nephites was the last thing I thought when I saw that float. It only took 15 years!

Oh man! I've heard about that parade--that it was really cute in a corny sort of way, and that they throw out candy to the kids. But it has Nephites!! Now it's on my bucket list.

Oh, the candy throwing will get you cut! Seriously, people will fight you over the salt water taffy (from the wonderfully named "Dicks Market") that they throw from the floats.

And if you think that sitting in the wrong seat at church is bad, try to sit on the corner that the Centerville born and bred have claimed for the last 20 years.

We were at Dick's a little over a week ago. (sigh)

I knew a girl once whose nickname was dick's market. Hey! Wait a minute!...

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS YOU'RE SO RIGHT ON AND IN AND OFF OF CENTERVILLE.

ROTFLMA! That is more fun than a barrel of monkeys, with a lot less class.

"the place which can't seem to separate church and state from ass and elbow." Hysterical. I am going to be laughing at this all night.

I can't believe the schools and the post office are participating. That's a little scary, but what in the Morridor isn't?

I am shocked that LDS inc is not emailing them in order to save a stamp.

Ha! They are probably required to reimburse the church

http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=mormon+stamps

Pay Lay Alol

One of my best friends lives in Salt Lake City - in the Sugar House area. She will NOT live in Davis county, in spite of the fact she could by a much newer, larger house there for the same price and still have a short commute to her job at the U. She's pretty Mormon and would love to scoop me back in but respects my right to choose - why she's still one of my best friends.

Davis County Shenanigans include:

- Mission calls announced as middle names during graduation
- Huge group of young men marched as Sons of Helaman in the Bountiful Handcart parade last year, dressed as Roman Indians.
- That guy with the anti-masturbation group works out of either Farmington or Kaysville. Guaranteed to help your teen by group or individual therapy with their "problem."
- Bountiful Handcart Days organizers are called by the Church for 3 years to run the celebration.
- A number of GA's live in South Davis County
- Apparently this mission call thing

I'm sure there is more but next to Utah County, Davis county scares me most.

Growing up, I knew of several polygamy groups and families in Bountiful area. We do think of Utah County as the most extreme but Davis seems to be a close second if not over the top more crazy.

I don't know, Cheryl. The Centerville ward Mark's relatives attend claims to be part of the "most active stake in the church." Of course, the members in UT Valley may make the same claim, so I'll let the issue rest--rather than invite another parking lot brawl.

When we were in Farmington recently the downtown street boasted banners that read: "Family - Faith - Freedom." (I may have the order wrong.)

Davis County "gang spirituality" activity problem.

Sounds funnier than the Doo Da parade in South Pasadena California. In a twisted Mormon kinda way ... of course.

http://www.pasadenahistory.org/thingstosee/DooDah.html

Doesn't surprise me. I lived in Layton as a nevermo for over four yrs. and I was shocked by those people several times a wk. Davis Co. is crazy Mormon. And as for the parades, we did go to them for chuckles. My kids were pretty young and not aware of all that symbolism walking down the street on Pioneer Day. I saw enough bonnets and long dresses and covered wagons to last a lifetime.

It sounds like one could come and add some "new entries"

A Mardi Gra type of large person. Could be made of Brigham and a few of his wives in pioneer clothes!

http://goneworleans.about.com/od/festivals/ig/Mardi-Gras/Big-Head.htm

http://www.theparade.org/dtcms/data/upimages/Big_Head_Corps_Volunteer_Help.jpg


Or SWK? Anyone?
http://www.theparade.org/volunteer.php?start_from=1&ucat=&archive=&subaction=&id=&;

Or the Kings of Nephi?

http://img1.photographersdirect.com/img/12919/wm/pd228230.jpg





Someone could come in the regal robes of the POPE ALONG WITH PAPAL CROWN! (Hey, the Mormons in my former ward dressed one of the "wise men" in a Papal crown for a Nativity Play)


Ride a horse wearing a dress white COAST GUARD UNIFORM complete with the white round sailor hat! (Mormon prade I saw where the coyboy rode his horse with cowboy boots, and work clothes and topped it off with a sailor hat! He was born with complications and required surgery...he's never quite right in the head, but is enjoyable to be around!)


Make a genuine CHINESE DRAGON complete with "Beaters" and someone carrying a "Pearl" to lead the dragon. (P of GP? Anyone?)

I am just wondering. This sounds like it could be a violation of US Postal rules. I wonder if anyone has thought to turn it into the Postmaster General.

He's probably a Mormon too.

spintobear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am just wondering. This sounds like it could be
> a violation of US Postal rules. I wonder if
> anyone has thought to turn it into the Postmaster
> General.
==================================
That's just what I was thinkin!

They ARE the Feds, after all, right?

Centerville, Utah:

Michael L. Redford Postmaster 03/22/2003
Phil Trimble Officer-In-Charge 07/07/2014

I DROWNED IN THE GREAT SALT LAKE

I grew up in Centerville, and yes, received the anticipated call from the post office. I now live next-door in Farmington, and although agree with the depictions by prior posters, it is certainly getting better here. My children have plenty of LDS friends, few of whom have ever voiced a proselyting word. It's a great community, and we even have a martini bar at Station Park.

On the down side, Farmington celebrates its Founders Day the weekend after July 4th. Two years ago they installed banners on every power pole on main street that read, "Faith, Family, Freedom". As an atheist, I have a problem with the city spending public money to promote faith.

BTW, how do they have the prospective missionary's telephone number? Is it on the mission call?

Someone needs to photograph the Nephite float.

I mean, wouldn't you just love a selfie taken amongst those half naked pasty white striplings proudly wearing their Viking helmets with the horns?

I am north of the Centerville area and the mail carrier at the time called to ask if I would like the mission call delivered or held at the post office so I could pick it up before his usual delivery time. He did that for both my sons pre 2000. We had a very accommodating mail carrier who took care of those on his route. If I had a package he could not put in the mail box he brought the box and the mail to the door, I've not had any other mail carrier do that since he changed routes, now the mail carrier leaves the box on the porch and the mail in the mailbox. I would guess based also hearing about others experiences it depends on the mail carrier weather this service is provided. By the way, the mail carrier was TBM, I'm sure that makes a difference since a non member would not know a mission call from any other piece of mail.

That is TOTAL BS and just plain unfair!!!
I grew up in West Bountiful, right next to Centerville and I had to wait for my call just like everyone else.

Hmmm...no wonder I left the church :P



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2014 03:34PM by wanderinggeek.