Sorry this is off-topic, and it's such an immature thing, but I'll take whatever lashings I get for asking this here.

I have this very Mormony roommate with a nasty habit of forgetting about their laundry after they put it in the washer, and it will stay there for several hours.

Half the time when I do my laundry I have to take theirs out and set it aside. I don't put it in the dryer because 1) it's not my laundry to take care of, 2) people have their own dryer setting preferences, 3) some people hang-dry some of their clothes while machine-drying the rest.

They're getting pissed that I don't put their clothes in the dryer for them and are accusing me of creating the situation that's making their clothes get moldy.

How do you reason with that kind of unreasoning?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2013 10:39AM by liminal state.

I'd simply tell them that their wet clothes will get moldy/mildewy whether it sits outside the washer or in it. If they're that concerned, they should be more attentive.

Everyone forgets occasionally but it's inconsiderate to repeatedly leave their clothes in the washer for someone else to deal with.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2013 10:43AM by janebond462.

Tell them you accept their offer to have you put their clothes in the dryer for them on condition they pay you $20.00/load.

Good idea!

Nah. My guess is these are young people who may not have figured out things like dryer settings and shrinkage anyway. I would ask them for default instructions. "So if your clothes are in the washer and I need to use it, I can't really sort for you. Shall I leave them in a laundry basket for you or dump them in the dryer on a medium setting and hope nothing shrinks? Please just choose and then don't be angry later about mold or shrinking." If they happen to be home when you need to use the washer, ask them to handle it. That's only common courtesy.

unless they ask this room mate if she'll take care of it for them.

I like vh65's solution! Also, Winecountrygirl had a good idea to assign laundry days. (with the understanding that everything is unloaded for the next person. And yes, things like that do count.

"I am not your mother. I have no obligation or responsibility whatsoever to finish your laundry for you. In fact, I have my own laundry to do and I find it inconsiderate and a bit rude that you don't have any consideration for the fact that both of us need to use the washer and dryer. Rather than get mad at me for not doing your chores for you, I should be mad at you for taking up the washer and not being responsible enough to finish what you started. However. Because I am not your mother, I choose to simply move your clothes out of the way so I can get my own chores done. If you do not want moldy clothes, finish your laundry in a timely manner and we won't have a problem at all."

You said exactly what I would. :)

+2

John, I dont like others doing my laundry and I dont want to do yours. Please try to remember to finish it yourself. im not your mom.

Sit down with roomie and designate together the specific days of the week for washer/dryer usage for each of you. Say for example, Tuesday is washday for you and Thursday is washday for your roommate.

Make a pact together:

If you find the other person's laundry in a washer or dryer on your assigned day, then you have every right to dump wet or dry clothes into a large cardboard box placed next to the washer for that purpose.

You need to set a day for you only to do laundry and a day for your roommate only to do laundry. So, like....Saturday is her day to do laundry and Sunday is your day.

"I just don't like handling other peoples clothes. I used to do that for my roommates, but I ruined some of their clothes because some had to be air dryed, fluffed, etc.. I don't want to be responsible. It's best you handle your own. I'm sorry."

I had that problem at an apartment complex.

The way I handled it is, I removed the clothes from the
washer, washed my clothes. Put mine in the dryer when
the wash was done, and then put theirs back into the washer
like I found it.

No arguments, got mine done, and left them to deal with moldy sour clothes.

In the roommate scheme of things, this is a minor issue. It sounds like your roommate is not too concerned about clothes. I would ask him what setting he wants the dryer on. Then throw his laundry in the dryer while you proceed with your wash. Problem solved.

A wise person once told me, never start doing something unless you expect it to become "your job."

I would be straight up with the roommate and tell them the washer and dryer are shared appliances. Each person is responsible for their own clothes.

True, but...when you have roommates (I've had scads of them in my past,) it's best to pick your battles. Throwing a load of laundry in the dryer takes two minutes. If that's the worst complaint you have about a particular roommate, he or she is a keeper. There can be far more annoying problems, trust me.

This following is based on a small apartment with laundry facilities built right in the closet etc. Not a big apartment complex with a laundry room.
By doing this they will learn to use others, not you. They will think twice about taking advantage of you.

It's their laundry. If they want you to "do" their laundry...and this is an 'adult' world....they can PAY you to "do" their laundry!!!

You'd very happy to "do" their laundry.

They can pay you $20 a load, starting now.
Next time you see a load of their laundry you will move it to the dyer, but ONLY if they have paid you in advance.

Consider it like paying a parking meter...we pay those in advance before we "use" the minutes!!!

This can put it into perspective.
If you find their laundry left in the washer you know they want you to set it aside, and you will do so. In fact, you're so thoughtful you'll put it in a plastic bag before you put it on their bed or chair!


The follow up for this teaching with natural consequences is:

Praise them for being so independent that they like to take care of things for themselves and wouldn't dream of inconveniencing someone else. You notice they're so thoughtful they never hog the bathroom so you know they would never intentionally hog the washer.

Also, this new environment must be different from their home with their parents where their family regularly moves the laundry over. This apartment where everyone pays to be there is NOT their family and does not provide laundry service unless by special arrangement...may I have my $20 now???


PROTECT WHAT IT YOURS. I don't know how vengeful she is so lock up your valuable papers, favorite necklaces, etc.
I used to hide my peanut butter, bread, and jam from my BIC roomies at Ricks College because they'd help themselves and never buy their own if you put it away in the kitchen!

You can try to have a different laundry day, but I’d make sure to let her know if she chooses to do laundry on my ‘day’ and she doesn’t pay me for moving her forgotten laundry, you will (and be sure you do it, walk your talk) put the laundry in a plastic bag and in her room! Teach her how to treat you.

If possible, each of you take a day of the week to do your laundry. When your day is up, all of the laundry has to be out of the washer and dryer.

Sometimes there's a laundry emergency that won't land on your day. Make it a rule you have to ask the other person if you can use the washer and dryer on their day.

I like what dogzill said. I had this same issue some years ago and I Approached it in the way he stated in his post. Sadly, it did not really work either. After a couple more times I simply pulled them out (already moldy smelling) and dropped them on the floor and left them. Needles to say he went off when he found them hrs later. I said I have tried to work with you on this and you refuse to work with me so maybe this will work, if not then next time out into the yard they go. He raised hell for a week or so but never left them in the washer again.

For a while, I had a live-in BF. Before he moved in, he sort of presented himself like he's a grown adult who takes care of daily chores, like, you know, an adult.

Within a few weeks, it became patently obvious that I was the one with ovaries and, therefore, all household tasks were my chores. I also brought home the bacon and fried it up in the pan. And cleaned the pan afterward. You can see why he lasted about six months before I booted his ass to the curb.

Anyway, he threw his dirty clothes wherever. You tell where he'd been just by following the trail of dirty clothes. When it was time to do laundry, I'd sweep through the house and pick up everything clothing that was on the floor. If I needed a few extra pieces to fill up the machine, I'd throw some of his clothes in with mine. (That's how this got started. "I've only got half a load in the washer, you need anything washed?")

Turns out, this Puerto Rican who lived on Florida owned a bunch of wool sweaters. I don't even know where the hell he GOT a wool sweater in this state or if they even sell such things in PR. There's no reason to wear wool here, that's for sure. So I ASSUMED all his sweaters were cotton, like mine are all cotton or synthetic, and tossed them right in the washer and dryer with everything else.

Oooops. (LOL)

I shrunk a couple of his sweaters down to Barbie doll sized. One only shrunk down to about my size, so I inherited that one. (It's really nice; soft Merino wool...But too warm to wear, even in "winter" so it lives in my closet.) After I'd destroyed about three of his sweaters (and replaced one as a Christmas gift), he got really mad at me and teed off, scolding me for not washing his wool sweaters properly.

I told him if he threw stuff on the floor, then I wouldn't think that they meant much to him. And he threw those sweaters in with everything else and gave me no special instructions, so why would I think I should do something different with them? How could I know these are special sweaters?

Blah blah blah, more cussing in Spanish, I should just KNOW, dammit.

Finally, I told him if he wanted his laundry done properly, he'd have to do it himself. I was tired of bending over backwards to do a nice favor for him and then being screamed at in Spanish for it. "At least cuss me out in English so I can understand how you're insulting me!" (He laughed at that one.)

So yeah, I quit doing his laundry. If I started mine and found a load of his in the washer, I'd throw it in the dryer but I'd tell him so if he needed to rescue something wool outta there, he'd have a chance. But if I found stuff in the dryer, I'd throw it all on his bed in a big wrinkly pile.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2013 03:49PM by dogzilla.

Thank you for the replies.

I'm just going to tell them that it's not my laundry, I'm not here to wipe the other half of their ass for them, and if they don't like what I'm doing (politely transferring it from the washer to a laundry basket less than two feet away), then they're gonna' have to start paying more attention.

YAY!!!! Good for you love!!

First of all, it's not YOUR fault the clothes are getting moldy. They've left the clothes. I'd make it clear that it's not your job, but that you've got to put them somewhere. And that you'd like it if they'd finish their laundry in a timely manner and make the washer/dryer available for everyone else.

However, it's just as easy to throw clothes into the dryer as it is to put them on top of it (if they want everything to go in the dryer). Like Summer said, you've got to pick your battles. The best roommates I ever had shared stuff and we helped each other out. That only works if it's reciprocal.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2013 03:33AM by imaworkinonit.

I would put the clothes in the dryer since it just as easy as it is to put them in a basket. However, I would not sort them or worry about settings or shrinking things.Just toss them in and turn it on.If something shrinks, tough. If they are still in the dryer when you need to use it, toss them in the basket unfolded and let them get wrinkled. If they don't like it they will soon do it themselves. If they don't care, you have not extended any more energy than you would if you tossed them in a basket or left them on the washer.On the other hand, I would not do anything that requires real work such as picking up their messes or doing their dishes. Pick your battles. Something that takes a few seconds to do isn't worth a battle IMO.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2013 03:35AM by bona dea.

and you don't appreciate them stinking up the washer.

On the other thing, I just wanted to say I understand and my issues were showing. If I'd known what you were talking about, I might have passed it by. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2013 06:21AM by munchybotaz.