When I was 13, my puppy love boyfriend and I would head over early after school to the Methodist Youth group's midweek meeting. There was not a soul there but us for about an hour or so. Here was this huge building with empty rooms everywhere, and some well hidden away. What a prize! And we took full advantage of it for some huggin' and smoochin', nothing more. Life was more innocent for us kids back then.

But, nowadays,imagine two or three sets of bored mishies in a ward building all day long. It's midweek after a frustrating morning at the computer, cleaning the place, or waiting for tourists. Lunch is done, now what? Anything is possible, if any one of them let's down their hair just a little. How about some self pleasure in the far end restroom or the baptismal font shower room, some gay play, feeling up a sister mishie who is fertile, a menage a trois, who knows? The sky's the limit. A mishie could even set up a meeting with someone from off the Internet who wants a little fun in one of those off the beaten track rooms, if his companion wants a little time to himself. I'm not condoning it or condemning it. It's just reality. When my brother was on a mission some of the guys were into all kinds of illicit stuff. The Morg may rue the day they ever tried this out.

Thoughts?

That was my thought. Many LDS elders back when I served my mission were clueless about what to do with the sister missionaries. We were older, some graduated from college and they were sheltered boys whose whole purpose in life was keeping worthy to serve a mission. And missions were for MEN - girls were a scary threat back in high school and serving a mission was not their responsibility. Not ALL the elders, by any means, but many of them were unbelievably nerdy dealing with sisters. They'd look at us like we were from Mars and only allowed to stay on earth if we got their pants off them. The operative word with a lot of them was SHUN.

Now the dynamic is different. We have lonely, horny teenage boys who are far from home and needing friendship and comfort. And far, far more luscious teenage girls available to comfort them. Not to mention these girls will have their bad days too and need a strong shoulder to cry on as much as the elders do. Take these two groups and stick them in a church alone for hours a day and the results are almost inevitable. Leaving the sisters alone in an empty building wouldn't be much of a solution either - they need priesthood supervision, dontcha know? And honestly, I'd be scared to be alone with some of my companions in an empty chapel in a foreign land. They would have been no help in a fight and a couple were dumb as dirt. Having elders there to "protect" us would have helped.

One more thing - these are kids who have been taught their whole lives that their greatest achievement is to marry in the temple. This makes a lot of members of the opposite sex more attractive than they really are - like a bar at closing time. Mormonism's obsession with sex just heightens the "oops" factor even more.

The missionaries will start to raid the fridge. Members will stop by to drop off food for them.

Then the introvert pianist will be doodling on the keys as much as possible. Another on the organ. Maybe goofy duets?

Then the artist will be drawing on the "chalk boards."

The basketball die hard athletes will be in the cultural hall shooting hoops.

The computer geek will be into all kinds of mischief.

The tired missionary will be napping on a foyer sofa.

Others will be on facebook playing computer games. Some will be back to Dungeons and Dragons.

The missionaries will develop a secret network of the best buildings in the mission for hanky-panky. What does and doesn't work. They'll get busted and just develop more covert techniques because they just do.

When there are exchanges and the real obedient missionaries are not in the building that day, then all heck can break out.

The Elders will develop code names to openly communicate so that the MP and Assistants haven't a clue what's going on.

Meanwhile, back at the ivory towers the grand 15 wizards will remain in their panic as they suck the life out of innocent kids devoting 18-24 months to a corporate sink hole.

I'm almost starting to feel sorry for the Mos, and especially the mishies. What a crazy tragic drama they have signed up to play roles in! But altho some will find some fun in this new mission, there will be a lot of hurt and sadness too.