Part 1 post: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,933071,933071#msg-933071

As noted at the beginning of Part 1 of this post, this big new program was tested first in the San Jose California Mission. It was started by Elder Ballard in May/June 2011. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the missionaries complaining that they have nothing to do. They’ll do anything of service for anyone.

The few examples shown on the broadcast were just a couple of isolated stories meant to sound so magnificent – as though that is what you can expect if you’ll do the member-missionary program through the ward mission leader and ward council. The speakers were akin to giddy little school girls overjoyed to find an example or two somewhere in the world to support their new program.

Some wards have a few missionary friendly members, so that’s where the misshies hang-out during the day when they’ve nothing to do. They get fed well in this mission since it is a very, VERY rich area of California. Still, the members aren’t buying this big missionary push business. How is it that this is inspiration to try world-wide? I don’t understand. There’s no revelation from God, rather it’s a bunch of old white guys trying to recoup the diminishing tithing offerings and the resignation of what constitutes the present and future leadership of the church. It’s easier to re-boot the church with the existing less-actives who once bought the scam than it is to knock doors and find new guinea pigs to put feed ($$$) in the trough.

I think you’ll all agree – there was absolutely NOTHING HISTORIC about this hyped-up event.

Holland looked and sounded just like the prima donna Dodo that he is.

Perry had nothing new to offer. His crooked smile is getting worse.

Nelson was into himself and the staged interview he conducted.

Anderson was the junior apostle, the weakling that speaks with a 3rd grader vocabulary.

Packer was on death row rambling incoherently.

Monson’s brain cells are decaying at hyper-speed. His faith sermon had zero inspiration. Just a corporate diehard reading some prepared monolog.

And the closing song, “Called to Serve” was the most boring rendition/arrangement on the planet. That was the low point of the entire evening – and it was the closing musical number.

The whole event was a snoozer. This was nothing more than trial and error on parade, the re-hashing of uninspired fake apostles representing a totally flawed religion.

******

Edit: I want to second Anagrammy who said, "This grand announcement is in response to the Great Mormon Apocalypse that Tom Phillips and Oncoming Storm bc have been talking about." I will agree. LDS INC. is in a full panic. How in the world do they think that missionaries on computers lurking all over the internet is not going to take them to sites that spell nuclear implosion to TSCC?

Anagrammy, again you rock. You're so perceptive and spot on!



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2013 11:03PM by jiminycricket.

and especially after looking over the website, I think the new program is all about forcing the members to come up with prospects and they just threw in the technology to make it sound like something else.

As usual, members, the problem is YOU. You not doing enough, you not having the right spirit, you missing opportunities.

They failed to address the real problem--which, again, is that MORMONISM IS EMBARRASSING. Never mind that the story is obviously made up. No one wants to give up coffee and other adult beverages. No one wants to spend most of their time doing church-related stuff when they're not actually sitting in church. No one who isn't already wearing or expecting to wear weird underwear wants to start. No one wants to watch G-rated movies and stop having any and all fun that small children couldn't also have. And, most importantly, no one wants to pay a lot of money for the privilege of being weird.

The members know this, and it's why they don't do missionary work. Hounding them will only make more less-active members.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2013 03:38AM by munchybotaz.

Mormonism is looking just beyond weird. & now they are turning chapels into the Morg version of Scientology Centres.

Can a Scientology-esque "Come take a FREE personality test at your local Mordor church!" be far behind? Then they'll just need a Mormon version of Hubbard's e-meter to determine if interview answers about masturbation are honest. I shudder to think what Boyd Packer would suggest.

So true! Now I'd like to see some anon-type hidden camera youtubes.

munchybotaz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> and especially after looking over the website, I
> think the new program is all about forcing the
> members to come up with prospects and they just
> threw in the technology to make it sound like
> something else.
>
> As usual, members, the problem is YOU. You not
> doing enough, you not having the right spirit, you
> missing opportunities.
>
> They failed to address the real problem--which,
> again, is that MORMONISM IS EMBARRASSING. Never
> mind that the story is obviously made up. No one
> wants to give up coffee and other adult beverages.
> No one wants to spend most of their time doing
> church-related stuff when they're not actually
> sitting in church. No one who isn't already
> wearing or expecting to wear weird underwear wants
> to start. No one wants to watch G-rated movies and
> stop having any and all fun that small children
> couldn't also have. And, most importantly, no one
> wants to pay a lot of money for the privilege of
> being weird.
>
> The members know this, and it's why they don't do
> missionary work. Hounding them will only make more
> less-active members.

If I may offer a slight correction: tons of people would do any and all of those things, if they experienced some sort of tangible spiritual/cosmic/psychic (in the old Greek sense) result for their efforts, or (more in keeping with LDS theology) a personal visit from Jesus or one of his representatives. Mormonism delivers none of these things. The best it can offer is a warm fuzzy telling you that it might happen someday if you give even more to TSCC.

Another lacklustre 'historic' announcement just reinforces there's no revelation from on high. Here's what they should have done:

- at least 50%+ time on mission must be spent on genuinely altruistic service in the community. Senior 'service couples' are now responsible for finding suitable service opportunities in areas and co-ordinating this
- updating missionary uniform to polo shirt/chinos or more individualistic 'smart-casual'
- drop use of outdated 'elder/sister' which only alienates and use first names like online missionaries do
- missionaries encouraged to spend greater quality time with members, joining them for fun activities, running fun FHEs etc to really build far greater missionary/member relations
- recognise that if Bishops/ward councils are to run missionary work in area, that we must vastly reduce their burden elsewhere (lose some other meetings, reduce church to 1.5-2 hours etc)

There you go. Just imagine how the TBMs would have gone crazy over such inspired changes if Monson had pronounced these things. and I'm just an apostate who has lost the spirit...

Wow, those are great suggestions! They sound like they come from genuine concern and empathy for people, non-members and members alike. The missionaries would feel so much better in the tropics in polo shirts than a suits and ties! And the bishops definitely don't need any more workload than they already have.

So, instead of wandering the streets with nothing to do, Missionaries are going to be sat a Church with nothing to do.

Brilliant strategy.

This shows the true failing of a cult: Its group think is so strong, no one can offer constructive criticism and help improve on the plans offered by the top leadership. The same thing has been happening with many failed programs and policies in Scientology. Miscavage brutally verbally abuses people under him who disagree in Scientalogy church. I wouldn't be surprised if Monson does the same thing behind closed doors.

Thanks, jiminycricket, I am always a big fan of yours ever since I discovered that my personal conscience was all I needed guilt-wise.

Sitting here with you, munchybotaz, surrenderdorothy, stumbling, Sherlock, infinite dreams...AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO CHIME IN ESP LURKERS :) and I'd like to roundtable some thoughts about where this drywell of an idea came from.

By the way, thanks for the morning chuckle. This is why I am still here after all these years. There is no place quite like this to get the latest Morg news in all the layers plus commentary from witty talking ex Morgheads and anonymous insiders.

Here's my idea-- I think this plan is fueled by the absolute necessity of saving money and avoiding further embarrassment abroad. When that tall MTC building went up, RfM was the first to speculate that it was a customer service center like unto the white and spacious building erected by American Express.

The MTC building is actually the physical location of all the future foreign computer missionaries. The French mission will be there, along with the English, Italian, Japanese, etc. There is no need for the French missionaries to be in France because the branch will have just a couple of missionaries and referrals for discussions will come from the "French" missionaries in Provo.

They are revving up the members with guilt so that they will agree to "at least" host a missionary in a spare bedroom so that the few that are assigned will have a free place to live. Of course, the church will still collect the housing money from the parents and the ward.

This will change the missionary effort from a negative cashflow to a positive one. They are already asking for more money. They can get more money from people who feel guilty that they absolutely are not going to hound family members and coworkers AND GO WITH THEM? What world do they live in? Oh, yes, I forgot, a fantasy world.

People will pay not to humiliate themselves and lose their friends and possibly be fired for proselytizing on the job. Duh.

My last comment is that the tactic of going to family and friends (again) is the last gasp of a failing MLM. When the product lacks efficacy or is overpriced or unattractive, the MLM tells its downline to use affinity (again) to boost sales.

It is an admission that the product cannot keep/gain customers by word of mouth alone.

Comments?


Anagrammy



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2013 11:20AM by anagrammy.

I think exactly like this, so have nothing to add. You explained it reel gud. What I have noticed more and more as I study "the gospel" (meaning Mormonism) is that it seems to have been in trouble since the 1800s. It's only finally accelerating, and the old and uninspired leadership haven't a clue and keep making silly and poor decisions over it. I can only believe that their little atrophied brains are all caulked up with the goo of age. They are a bunch of businessmen who are running a religion, and when their business acumen fails to match up with the necessary church skills, they cave in and wander around their offices bumping in to walls and such. And when it gets too tough, they head to the golf course and hit a round. Poor wee bairns.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2013 12:28PM by cludgie.

Although I did not see the broadcast I would say, from what I am reading in the various reports, the church is taking a very 'corporate' approach to their losses. This is what corporations do and many are very good at it. The strategy is to reacquaint the public with the brand. It's really simple thinking. If you have used a product or service in the past you will be more likely to use it again vs. someone that has never used the product. And this is exactly what we see with all the campaigns and programs the church is putting forth. I believe they will experience modest success mostly with the fence sitters that have spouses and immediate family that are still active.

As we all know Joseph Smith conducted his own 'rally the troops' type campaign when he came up with his all-encompassing account of the first vision where he said he saw God and Jesus. At that time well over a third of the church had apostatized including many top leaders. JS had to pull off a stunner to keep members in the pews.

The real problem here is the brand is flawed. Joseph Smith was a con and a pervert. At it's very roots the tree is rotten. I don't see how the 15 are going to deal with this.

I follow this line of thinking... to a point.

"If you have used a product or service in the past you will be more likely to use it again vs. someone that has never used the product. And this is exactly what we see with all the campaigns and programs the church is putting forth. I believe they will experience modest success mostly with the fence sitters that have spouses and immediate family that are still active."

Marketing the product to past users is more effective than to new users who are unfamiliar... in general. What I wanted to touch on is that I usually see a "Come back" offer. The deal is sweetened with something of value to entice people back for another try.

In this case, I am chuckling wondering what this Church can offer for those disenchanted with it after the first go-round.

Discounted tithing? "Come back and for a limited time, we'll give you temple access for 5%."

A home/ visiting teaching pass? "Come back and we'll waive your HT/ VT visits for the first 6 months. And after that, as long as you don't miss a payment, we'll keep it to 2 families per month. But if you miss a payment, it (the interest rate) skyrockets to 5 families a month.

Fast track for temple attendance? "Attend your meetings worthily, and we'll reduce the typical 12 month waiting period to 6 months before you, too, can enjoy the blessings of an eternal fan damily."

So... what's the offer? What brings people back? It can't just be the same old product offering, because ain't nobody got time for dat.

It was like watching in on the annual address to the sales convention of Beta-Max distributers...

Instead of using all those thousands of kids to cruise the Internet, they should send them out to do REAL volunteer work--say with Habitat for Humanity, the local food bank, a soup kitchen for the homeless, teach more immigrants in this country English, work in communal gardens--god, can you think of all the good that would come from that?!

Shhhhh.

Utah County Mom you are exactly spot on.

I used to have the same thought about the 5 billion they spent on the mall - like imagine the good PR that would come out of providing clean water for all of sub-Saharan Africa?

Then I realized that it would be putting lipstick on a pig. All the good works in the world can't cover the rottenness of lies, lust and greed which are at the core of Mormonism.

I'm glad they don't listen to us exmos. Otherwise, they could turn into a real religion, disavow their tainted roots and proceed to alleviate suffering and promote diversity and compassion in a world that really needs it.

Fat chance.


Anagrammy

+1 - this is exactly why you can easily tell that there's no direct revelation from God/Jesus in TSCC. You don't need to study the history and doctrines, just take a minute to reflect on what changes would Jesus have made if he was really spearheading this.....

A workforce of 70,000 young volunteers providing altruistic and meaningful service to help humanity, would have to be top of the list.... Facebook? IPads? Church tours? C'mon, anyone who has ever even just heard of Jesus would have come up with this service idea. That TSCC didn't, tells you all you need to know.

Amen to that.

How many of us have seen missionaries spending hours of every day at the library? Now they will have to hide in the church building.
Is there a comfortable place to take a nap there?

This program may have some early success in the "honeymoon" period, as they say, however, it's doubtful it can generate even enough inactive members or new members to make up for the ones that are long gone.
It's just more pressure that has little likelihood of success.

I'm for Service Missions. Get out there and DO stuff for people. There are dozens of volunteer organizations that need help and lots of it. Make a positive name for Mormonism in the field of volunteer service. It's the minimum they can do.

I have been off of the Morg radar for along time, so I didn't know this program even existed.

However I can't imagine that it was very succesfull here. This area is very diverse in types of people, and independant thinking (one big reason it is part of silicon vally, and there are so many start ups in this area).

Diversity here works, people would never want to be be cookie cutter type people like the mormon church would want them to be. The missionary uniform alone, turns people off.

No one wants a second bite of what they spit out after taking the first bite. Excellent packaging, costly ingredients and brilliant promotion matter not if the people DON'T like it.

in parts of the world and among socioeconomic groups that lack web access?

Oh, I forgot, the church doesn't really want poor people. They want folks like those in their test market -- the Bay Area -- not more from Guatemala and Ghana. This is about suckering potential high tithe payers, not saving more souls.

Most of the people that I taught on my mission (that converted) were referrals from members. There were only a few missionaries like me who relied on this method more than tracting. But there were many members who didn't want their friends being taught by random missionaries. Still, this was in the mid-'80s when the internet wasn't available so people were more gullible.

Also, who wants to stay in a church that will probably start asking in temple recommend interviews: "Do you walk with your neighbors on a regular basis about the Church?" To remain pure and spiritual will require active proselytizing from members. The sales aspect has been now stretched way beyond missionaries.

Remind me, why do people stay in this church?

Fear. They stay in it because they are afraid to leave.

They don't want to look like a dope (after all those without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt testimonies).

They don't know what they would tell their children/mother/father/siblings/spouse/employer/friends.

They don't want to be seen as evil.

They don't know how to live other than in the Mormon church.

They don't want to be an outcaste.

It's not true, but what if it is, why take the chance? (Then better start examining Islam, Scientology, Jehovah's Witnesses, just for starters because why take the chance they could be true)

They are superstitious and don't want to break church vows.

They don't want to threaten their marriages.

Don't want to rock the boat.

Don't care what's true, like the familiar.

There are as many reasons to stay as there are to leave. The reasons to leave have actual moral weight behind them.


Anagrammy

I like that analogy!!!

I wonder how many will be playing computer games on thier mishes now?!?!?

All those FB "cool" games....difficult to monitor when they are suppose to be on FB to begin with..:?

That's a good point, about those FB games. My DW and other family tbm members are addicted to those games.

But what I wonder, and maybe this needs another thread, is this: how will the mishies' tbm parents feel about this situation? After all, they are paying out hard-to-come-by cash every month, supposedly to support the good work of the harvest of souls in the last days, and their missionary kids are sitting in meetinghouses all day playing the same silly games they so annoyingly played at home. And there are still no new converts or baptisms!

Will there be a subtle (or maybe not so subtle?) feeling of rebellion rising up within the ranks, as the members realize they are being had, and had again?

I know of six stalwart Church members who are coming off Facebook as a result of Sunday's announcement.

What do you mean "coming off Facebook as a result of Sunday's announcement?"

Are they closing their accounts?

Is it because they don't want to be friended by mishies?

Please explain.


Ana

Hi Ana, yes.

They are closing their accounts as they anticipate being pestered at Church to provide their facebook details so that the missionaries can friend them and start to post Gospel messages on their walls etc.

They do not want their friends pestered by religious messages on a private interaction board. Nor do they want to be pressed into advertising the Gospel to their friends and colleagues who aren't members.

Don't get me wrong, these are believing members who would be happy enough to answer their friends questions about Mormonism etc if asked. But no way do they want to be coerced into having their friends subjected to an Amway/Tupperware style barrage via Facebook.