Posted by:
shannon
(
)
Date: June 23, 2013 02:04AM
OK, anyone who knows me will tell you I OBSESS about problems - especially major ones. Can't sleep tonight. Need your input. SERIOUSLY. (Or I'll be calling that damn suicide hotline at the top of the board).
OK, here it is: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.
Can't stop obsessing, can't stop researching, can't stop wondering "what if?" For those that don't know, my teen son got caught up in this huge sex scandal with a neighborhood mom down the street. She was molesting hot neighborhood high school boys and, basically, pimping out her barely-pubescent daughter to the guys, too.
I just walk around all day with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'm going to vomit. Every time I think of the REALITY of what that bitch did to her little girl, I want to *hurt* her! My kid is reeling - he's been through so many police/sex crime detectives/state attorney interviews it makes me dizzy.
I was NEVER molested as a child!! It just simply was not on my radar!!! No parent, sibling, cousin, child of mine . . . ANY relative has ever been sexually molested. It's just *NOT* on my radar. I cannot comprehend what kind of human being could do that to a child! (Much less a parent!!!!).
The perp's bond is so high, I never really thought she'd be out of jail, but her car is now gone from the driveway and her name doesn't show up on the jail record anymore. It's the weekend . . . and I'm terrified of that woman - she has police reports of retalitory behavior a mile long.
I'm scared. But the main thing I simply cannot understand is WHY adults do such sick things to little kids?? I have a Master's degree in counseling and I know all the textbook answers but I have never had personal experience with this. I remember my first 14-year-old female victim of child sexual abuse when I was a newly-minted mental health counselor. She had run away from home and ended up in our runaway shelter. She confided in me that she had run from her sexually abusive step-father. I was debating on whether to hospitalize her involuntarily in a psych ward for her own protection . . . she kept saying she was going to escape from me and run to the overpass outside and jump into traffic below on the freeway to commit suicide. I couldn't understand why the girl's mother didn't protect her from the perp. I kept asking her, "What does your mother do?"
She screamed at me with rotten teeth and bad breath, "She just says STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!" That was the first moment in my life, at 22-years-old, that I actually understood that some people don't give a sh!t about their own children.
I got it. Her desperation was palpable. I believed her when she said that she wanted to die on the freeway. I hospitalized her.
I feel just as much helplessness and angst tonight. I am horrified by what my neighbor did to her little girl (and, no, I have not posted the worst of it). I'm just sick. Please, somebody with personal experience, help me understand. If this is generational, why, why, WHY would someone turn around and inflict the same horror and pain on a child that they experienced as an innocent victim themselves?