Before I start, I need to explain a couple things. Firstly, I am an 18 year old female living at home with my TBM parents. Secondly, I like to sleep naked, especially in the summer. It's just more comfortable than pajamas in my opinion. And thirdly, my parents are really insistent about having family prayers every night, despite the fact that I have not been to church in a year and I keep telling them that I don't believe in the gospel.

When I refuse to join them for these evening prayers, it causes an argument, and so I usually just let one of them do their thing while I stand nearby and wonder what I should have for breakfast the next day. It makes them happy, and its not too much of an imposition on me.

However, the problem arises at night when I am getting ready to go to bed. As I said before, I sleep naked, and I assume that closing my door would indicate that I'd like some privacy. My parents do not understand this. They know full well that I am nude when the door is shut, but they both come in anyway, telling me just to "cover myself with the blanket", so that we can have family prayers. I have tried to tell them that unless I am in the room with them at the time, I don't want to be part of family prayers, and they especially shouldn't try to do it when I'm naked in my own room. The message has yet to sink in.

It is extremely uncomfortable for me to be sitting on my bed in nothing but a blanket while my two parents (especially my dad) kneel on the floor and pray that I will "see the light of the gospel and let it into my life" or something like that.
So is it just me, or is this completely inappropriate?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2013 02:02AM by peacelovemoana.

It is not just you, this is inappropriate, and Mormons have no sense of proper boundaries.

Naked with just a sheet?

...probably reminds them of going through the temple.

Can you put a lock on your door? They should at least knock particularly in view of the fact that you sleep in the nude.Tell them you are an adult and that if they dont start knocking you will get a lock.They need to respect your privacy.You.might ask them how they would feel if you barged into their room while they are being intimate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2013 02:17AM by bona dea.

ok, this is a reach, and it might not work for you. If it were me, I would not cover myself with a blanket. I would stand there, stark naked, and let them deal with the fact that they are in my space, uninvited, and this is how I have chosen to be in what should be the privacy of my own room.

When they talk about it being uncomfortable or inappropriate, point out that they are doing the same thing to you.

Start thinking about moving out soon. This is unacceptable. Boundaries around you need to be respected, regardless of belief.

I hate to say this, but if moving out is not an option than wear clothes to get by, if that seems resonible. If this persists beyond respectable hours or if you are creeped out by this behavior than there is a problem beyond anything with you. Contact authorities, or whoever needs be.

Yes, this is inappropriate, at the least.

Just remember: they don't see you as a legal adult yet. They see you as their teenage daughter, living under their roof, which begets their rules. I remember having to tell my mom, in the most dramatic and emotional conversations ever, that I don't believe in the church, but she would always choose to pretend the convo never happened once the tears had dried.

I didn't get away til I moved to a different coast (the minute I turned 18, and no, not for college. Just to GET AWAY AND BE MYSELF).

Sounds exactly like my parents!

If you wanna chat email me nsgallup@gmail.com

Not only "completely inappropriate" but "SICK"

Use this word when they enter your room uninvited.

Put a locking doorknob on the door (similar to the bathroom doorknob - no key), with or without their permission.

It is their house. If you are 18 you live there by their permission. This gives them a lot of leverage to set the rules and boundaries, inappropriate or not. This is especially true if you are not paying rent.

If you put a lock on the door, with or without their permission, they could take the door off their room, the room they let you live in, that is in their house.

I am not in any way defending them, but in their view, they have the trump cards.

Some things to try:

1) Move out and get a place of your own or shared with others.

2) Offer to pay rent in order to have your room considered a place they can not enter without permission. This is a way of defining your space as truly your space.

3) If you don't have the money for 1 or 2, a sucky sort of compromise, offer to do the family prayers before you retreat into your room. Then start doing everything you can to move out of the house.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2013 12:29PM by MJ.

Yes, it's inappropriate. Since family prayers are a non-negotiable with your parents, arrange to have them in a location that is not your bedroom.

Keep in mind that "he who pays the piper calls the tune." Their house, their rules. You can talk to them, but your ability to negotiate is very limited. When you are living on your own you can live pretty much as you please.

Wow. That is really weird.

Here's my idea. Sometimes you have to club someone over the head to make them see the point.

In the evening when you see a parent heading for the bathroom, burst into the bathroom when you think they are midstream. Kneel down near the toilet. Announce that you want to have family prayer now.

If the door is locked ask why it was locked since they can just cover themselves with toilet paper while everyone is praying.

They probably won't see their behavior is inappropriate until their priesthood leaders clues them in. Evidently, your infidel opinion doesn't count.

Or, knowing your parents have no boundaries and will keep pulling this sh!t because they imagine it's the righteous parental thing to do, you could suck it up and wait until after prayers to get naked.

Hmm, a non-believing child complaining about their believing parents to a Mormon Bishop.

What are the real chances of the believing Bishop coming down on the side of the non-believing child. A child that the Bishop has been interviewing about masturbation behind closed doors?

Ahh.. I'm going with Stray Mutt implying that the OP has parents that can't think independently, and that they will choose "the church's" admonitions over the OP's preferences. The suggestion was to wait until after prayer... not go tattling to the local bishop.

I don't see why everyone expects a bishop that interviews girls behind closed doors about masturbation is automatically going to side with the non-believing girl on this issue.

If you talk to the bishop, DO NOT tell him you sleep nude. Just say that your parents insist on barging into your room to pray WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE NAKED.

That's better.

Depending on the bishop, he could respond several ways. If she doesn't really know him, she can't guess how he will respond.

I can see a weird bishop telling her not to sleep nude because that makes it too tempting to touch yourself.

He could subconsciously be thinking it's not fair that a girl gets to sleep in the nude when they are stuck wearing garments all the time. It's not good training to prepare someone to wear garments if they don't have the shame of being naked drilled in.

I can see a bishop shaming her and making her think SHE is doing something wrong. The last thing she needs is for the bishop to support her parents' demand for family prayer.

Or weirder, the guy might enjoy thinking about her sleeping nude if you know what I mean.

I'm not sure bishops should be invited into thinking they get an opinion. It just empowers their control.

"until their priesthood leaders clues them in."

Good idea. Maybe find a mormon bishop or other leader they'd respect who has some common sense, tell your story, and if he agrees with you ask him to talk to your parents. They'd find it hard not to listen to their church leader. Tell them it's driving you even farther from the church to not have basic boundaries respected. Say you need to feel respected and loved and listened to, to have any good feelings whatsover for them or their church. That should make sense to them.

Mormons take their image in the ward very seriously. I'm betting your parents will do as you ask just so you don't go talking to anyone in their ward again about this and revealing embarrassing behavior of theirs.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2013 01:30PM by raiku.

So, when you're on your way to bed, you go tell your parents that you're going to bed, say good night, and tell them you need to be able to sleep without being awakened by someone barging into your room. Ask them if they'd like to get the family prayer out of the way right then. Or better yet, let them know that you'd like to do it earlier in the evening.

Or just wear something light to cover up. You don't NEED to sleep naked. And frankly, it's kind of creepy that you'd want to while living in a house with other adults with whom you are not in an "intimate" relationship. ALL OF YOU are responsible for respecting boundaries -- not just them. It's partly up to you to protect yourself by wearing clothing suitable to the situation.

Of course you need to move out but you already know that.

If you really want to make it stop, call the cops and tell them your dad makes you feel uncomfortable around him and he barges into your room when he knows you are naked to take a peek and do other things.

This is disgusting behavior and they need to be called on it. Try to get a restraining order against him and kick him out of his own house.

These people are pure EVIL!

My motto to my children growing up:

The price of freedom is rent money.

I guess In my childhood home I always felt like my parents
had the right to make the rules.
So I moved out right after high school.

This is pretty wierd! I know they have no sense of boundries. But I gotta say. There no way Id want to sleep nude in my parents house. as an adult or otherwise. But if its thatimportant to you. Id say pay rent & put a lock on the door. If U want to save money to move. Wear somthing lite and comfortable. Or at least keep a robe by your bed. Its wrong for them to do THAT!?! But your limited by your curcomstances.