"So, are you guys in the middle of a membership drive or something?"

You are ministers of God yet I don't feel the holy spirit. Have you been masturbating?

Good timing, guys! Hey, Would you bless my car to have a full tank of gas and air in the tires?

You can't do that? I heard you have these amazing priesthood powers. What practical use is it good for? Can you fill my fridge with food?

...............

Take a hike then..

You say you "know" the church is true...how?

Oh, a spiritual witness, a feeling from God....

Then wouldn't it be more honest to say that you have a Feeling the church is true?

Come on in, I'll let you use my internet, phone and even pour you a glass of your favorite beverage.

You are true messengers from Jesus Christ?

WONDERFUL! I have been waiting for true messengers from Jesus
Christ. Now if you can just drink this strychnine and handle
these poisonous serpents to validate your claims we can start
with your message.


" 17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name
shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

" 18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly
thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick,
and they shall recover."
--Mark 16:17-18

I said "Hey wanna come in?" Of course I was in my underwear. They left me alone.

Next time I'll try it naked... With an erection. Ok maybe not, just thinking aloud.

As you are I once was. As I am you may become. Come on in, I have a story to tell you and questions to ask.

+1000

Do you think it is right to belong to a church that was extremely immoral and criminal in its early history and continues to lie about that fact now? Wouldn't that be like joining an organization that used to be part of the Nazis and has changed but has never formally repudiated the Nazi doctrine?