Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 11:57AM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: burnned ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 12:06PM

will have to check it out when I'm on a normal PC, so I can get my husband to "spank me", NOT! I take it your home did not burn down there Dave?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: tapirsaddle ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 12:23PM

Abusers often tell their victims that what they do to them is out of love.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:16PM

Quoted from this vile trash -

"Domestic discipline is the practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of the household (HoH) takes the necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic; the necessary measures to create a healthy home environment; and the necessary measures to protect all members of the family from dangerous or detrimental outcomes by punishing the contributing, and thus unwanted, behaviors for the greater good of the entire family. In addition to punishing the unwanted behaviors, the head of the household is responsible for reinforcing positive behaviors for the greater good of the entire family. The head of the household is ALWAYS to conduct themselves in a very safe, loving, healthy, controlled, and composed manner."

What kind of sick bullshit is this?!?!? It is saying that the wife is no more than a child who can't do anything, say anything, or think for themselves. It is saying that the man is the real adult in charge of everyone, as if he is his wife's father. Sick, sick, sick!!!!!!!!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: breedumyung ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 09:15AM

Ah, come on, ID; you know you want me to give you a spanking.

I'll even let you leave your panties on...

All my other 49 wives loved a good old-fashioned spanking by Head Of Household...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: East Coast Exmo ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:24PM

I don't think this is religious stuff, at least not necessarily. It looks more like SMBD material. Granted there is some overlap between the communities, but I don't think we should blame religion for fetish stuff.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: rationalguy ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:30PM

I kinda think lots of fetish stuff is brought on by religion through the repression of sexuality. Non-harmful fetish stuff is weird to me, but I think it's nobody else's business if it isn't hurting anyone and the participants are consentual.

On a different sex subject, every pedophile I've had knowledge of in my own community was an active Mormon.... That's skewed because all my neighbors are Mormons, but there are a LOT of them compared to what you'd expect.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: pioneerrose ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 11:15AM

Some fifty years ago when I was a deputy probation officer, I had a small caseload of sex offenders. Except for one who was retarded, they were all practicing Mormon in an area where there weren't that many Mormons. One was a double duty offender, Mormon and boy-scout leader.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 01:45PM

SMBD -- a fetish for people with dyslexia! ;>)

(Were the letters rearranged on purpose to make it through the spam filter?)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:30PM

It's all the rage, though. There are many domestic discipline blogs out there and lots of people on Amazon.com selling books about it. There's even a popular blog dedicated to teaching it called "Learning DD". I think some people really get off on it and some really do believe in the Biblical aspect of it.

ETA... I see this booklet is written by the people who own the Learning DD blog.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2013 01:31PM by knotheadusc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:37PM

So DD is their way of trying to get away with dominating & abusing their wives, & also brainwash the wives into thinking its OK.

To me, this bullshit has nothing to do with BDSM.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:42PM

A lot of the people who blog and write stories about this stuff are women. I think about 90% of the people engaged in this kind of lifestyle do it because it turns them on sexually. The rest of them might do it purely for religious reasons, because they are fundie Christians who think the Bible tells them this is the way they are supposed to live.

Personally, I don't agree with it. I've been studying the CDD phenomenon for a few years, though, because I think it's interesting.

ETA: This is the first Web site I ever found about CDD. I found it because I had a writing assignment about CDD and was doing research. That site seems more about the Christian justification for it.

http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2013 01:46PM by knotheadusc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:46PM

I guess I don't get it then. When I think of anything having to do with domination, I think of women being dominatrixes.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:50PM

Oh, there are a lot of women who like the idea of being submissive and would love to see society go back about a hundred years. It can be hard to wrap your head around it if you don't see the appeal of it yourself.

Just like some men like to be dominated, so do some women. And the reverse is also true. It's amazing what turns people on.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 01:59PM

The advocates for this are on the far periphery of Western/Christian culture. In a huge world, statistically small deviations (and deviants) will be found.

Far more troubling is the growing representative power of the sharia law movement in Islam. No longer can we dismiss them as unrepresentative of the other billions of Moslems. These are the people who practice female genital mutilation, the stoning of rape victims because they are impure, the beheading of people because they chose not to believe in "Allah." Interestingly, their converts do not necessarily come from the economically disadvantaged, but the well-educated middle- and upper- strata of Islamic society.

And yes--they do distribute print and electronic manuals on the proper way to beat wives and children.

We ignore and dismiss these zealots at our peril.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2013 02:01PM by caffiend.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 02:02PM

Don't talk about spanking! Be horrified of Islam instead!

Good spanking god.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 02:04PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Kojac ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 08:28AM

The fact that you called them Moslems, and not Muhamadeens, tells me you're more of a HP Lovecraft racist, not an old school Rudyard Kipling type.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 02:02PM

Oh I know that there are female submissives. & I understand it in the BDSM context, just not the DD or CDD context

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 02:12PM

From what I've seen there are overlapping themes in BDSM, CDD, and DD and most of it is mental and emotional. I don't actually know anyone offline who is involved in a true CDD relationship, but I do have friends who are evangelical Christians. For me, it's not that hard to see why they would have CDD relationships because the more fundie Christians have traditional gender roles.

About ten years ago, I used to hang out on a messageboard run by people who had been kicked out of Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, FL. That was a real mind blower. The rules that people are expected to follow at that school make BYU look positively liberal. Males and females aren't allowed to look directly at each other because they are "making eye babies". They don't use the same stairwells or walk on the same sidewalks... or at least that's how it was in the late 90s early 00s. The campus was very legalistic. It was fascinating to read the stories from students and a couple of former professors who were kicked out or left. It was amazing that people PAID for this experience, especially since the school wasn't accredited.

Given the rigidity of their rules and the very strict ways students were expected to conduct themselves, I can see why some couples would find comfort in a CDD relationship. It's not for me, but maybe it would be if I had grown up in that environment, KWIM?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Infinite Dreams ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 03:01PM

I've known people like that within Mormonism & evangelical Christianity. My Nazi seminary teacher was one. He barely tolerated anyone wearing regular clothes to early morning seminary, & wanted to institute a rule that we had to dress up in church clothes everyday. He couldn't get it approved of course.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: freebird ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 04:00PM

I will admit I think it's kinda hot. If DH tells me I can't do something or he somehow conveys he's in charge, it is a turn on to me. I kind of like it, BUT he rarely does it. If he was doing that all the time and really, truly trying to run me and act like my father or something, I'd probably stop thinking it was hot real quick.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Bite Me ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 02:50PM

Pardon this, but Jesus Christ that is fucked up. Maybe it should be renamed "Spanking for Jesus." Better tie your hands to the bedposts.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anon for this ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 03:51PM

He couldn't perform with out it. Only one of the reasons that he's the ex.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: matt ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 04:41PM

The only couple who I know who are into spanking and light bondage are some atheist friends of mine.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: robertb ( )
Date: June 22, 2013 05:20PM

Huh. Dominance/submission and BDSM under a religious guise.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 01:11PM

It's 50 Shades of Religious Grey.

Dominance
Submission
BDSM and Arousal
Abuse
Religious justification

That HoH (head of household) crap is weird. I think that establishing a "HoH" instead of an equal partnership where both are co-HoH is the mental prerequisite for this behavior.

The link didn't seem to emphasize religion (unless I missed it). I don't get the attraction to this.

With the stupid movie coming out of the stupid book (50 Shades) I think this is sort of a sex fad now.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 03:52PM

So you don't think this HoH concept is religious in nature ?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 04:08PM

I definitely do, Dave.

I think many do justify this fetish(?) with the fact it coincides with their religious views.

Maybe some don't. There are no doubt nonreligious people into dominance, submission and BDSM.

I also suspect for many, mostly religious, it justifies and perpetuates misogyny.

I seriously am disappointed that 50 Shades was as popular as it was. It was truly stupid and not good for women to be thinking is "hot" IMO.

It's hard to know if the spanking thing is a sexual driver in any given relationship or if it is solely about good old religious misogyny. If it is really just about discipline, that is sick and driven by religion, IMO.

That link was really creepy!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nevermoaz ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 04:45PM

Well, pretty much outing myself here:

This page makes it look all syrupy and hokey. I am a submissive, and my husband is my Dominant. No, I am not abused. No, I am not crying out for help, nor do I think all relationships need to be like this. This is something that turns us on. We are a consensual BDSM couple.

Now, we 'say' he is the HoH, but in reality, it's another partnership. The really big difference between BDSM and vanilla type relationships (that we've been in) is the level of communication. We don't participate in those wonderful "Why can't you read my mind and assume what's wrong?!" games. Everything is spelled out very clearly. And yes, we actually have a contract. It spells out our needs and wants, and how we are responsible to each other.

The problem with these religiously based DD things is it indicates a woman SHOULD be like this and should have no choice in the matter. Or that they aren't in line with God's will if they don't make the man the head. Bullshit.

Everything we do, I do, is a choice. I do it because I like doing it. I GIVE him that power; he didn't take it or demand it. If I thought tomorrow, you know this really isn't for me, it stops. Most practitioners of BDSM ahere to the Safe, Sane, and Consensual rule. It really is a two way street. But for me to let him have the majority of decisions, I voluntarily choose that. Big stuff, like major purchases, childcare, family time, are mutually discussed things. And like any relationship, sometimes I get my way, sometimes he gets his.

Do I get spanked? Occasionally, if I don't do what I'm asked to do. Again, my choice, and it can be a turn on. Usually because it leads to nookie afterwards. But... I work outside the home, as does he. We raise kids together, and we consult each other on everything.

These relgious DD types would be horrified to associate themselves with leather daddies and a Domina in patent spiked heels, but they think if they throw God in the mix it's better. Again, everyone has free choice. And oh the first few pages I read are conscending as hell. If you want real links, I can get you to real links. But this stuff makes me strain my eyes from all the eyerolling

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 08:55AM

Thank you for adding your perspective. I think a lot of people find BDSM "dirty", weird, or abusive. It's not, really-- not if both people are consenting adults.

Years ago, I used to hang out in an online BDSM community/chat room. In fact, that's where I first met my husband. I have to say, there was very little talk of sex in the open, and many of the participants were very intelligent. Those who weren't didn't tend to last very long in that community.

My husband and I don't do BDSM, but part of the reason we get along so well is because we are sexually very compatible. We were able to discuss these things in detail before we made the commitment to get married. Over ten years later, it still works.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Moosefan ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 10:08PM

Stand in a corner?! Send you to your room for time out?! Are they for real or is this a prank?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nevermoaz ( )
Date: June 23, 2013 11:54PM

And that's another thing: You aren't treated as a child in a real D/s relationship. This is sooo condescending and insulting.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: June 24, 2013 01:48PM

This is horrible. Everyone knows that punishment is only a part of love, when both partners are wearing at least three items made entirely out of leather.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **    **  ********  **    **  **    **   ******   
  **  **   **    **  **   **    **  **   **    **  
   ****        **    **  **      ****    **        
    **        **     *****        **     **   **** 
    **       **      **  **       **     **    **  
    **       **      **   **      **     **    **  
    **       **      **    **     **      ******