helped convert me. After spending a few hours reading more sickening truths that were biting at my very core, my anger had bubbled to a peak. I spent a short while trying to consider the feasibility of ordering a punch bag, then took to Facebook, needing immediate release. I proceeded to vent as softly as I could at how angry I am at TSCC, gave examples and asked him how I'm expected to believe all the church now I have prooof of some of the horrible truths.. It was extremely cathartic. After that, I sent the message and then cried a little. Our families have become extensions of each other across the Atlantic and I consider his sister my sister wholeheartedly. I finally got a grip and proceeded to change my religious status to 'agnostic atheist', visible only to my nevermo and exmo close friends. That provided significant relief also.

I hope this draws a line under the angry phase I was told I'd experience over this.

ugh, that must have been hard! I'm glad you were brave enough to do it though.

It will be interesting to see if there is a return reply.

It will indeed. I dont expect one, but it would be nice. He's a Happy Valley guy though, so probably won't get one (no offence to you Utahn exmos out there.)

And you were right. No reply. I know he saw it, Facebook does a good job that way, but no response. It's been a couple days since I posted it and he saw it almost immediately. Guess I'm not his sister anymore. Kind of hurts but whatever. I don't need people like that in my life.

Hmm, very interesting.

I also told a few people I wouldn't be coming to church anymore (by text last night):

1. A very lovely couple who are like family to us, the quickest to be friendly to my mum and I when we moved into the ward. They actually came over after church to tell us they wont talk about church stuff anymore if we don't want them to but they will always be our family and my mum and I their sisters and we can still talk about stuff non-Church-related and eat together, stuff we have done before the announcement. It was really touching.

2. The YW president (I was 2nd counselor.) She also said she's here for me because she knows what it's like because she's been there (as in not coming to church.)

3. The sister missionaries (I went on teaches with them a lot.) They sounded really shocked and said I could talk to them anytime even if it wasn't church related and that they still love me very much.

4.The YSA/institute teaching couple (I was a ward YSA rep.) They did not reply. I was not surprised.

In addition, the Relief Society pres. sent me a Facebook message explaining she had been told because they thought it would be good for her to know and said that she's here if I ever want to talk about stuff and that she hopes everything is okay with me.

So 6 out of 9 is not bad.

UPDATE: the missionary got back to me with a very lengthy message of support even if I wont be coming back to church. So I guess that makes 7 out of 9. The only two people who didnt reply are the two I didnt expect to reply, so I guess my judgment of character is not as bad as I thought :)

Sounds like a strong move into the genuine reality camp. I am not sure it will be just a phase though.

One thing I've learned in the 10 months I've known the truth is that the different emotions of recovery ebb and flow. I'm not angry all the time, but I am when I see a friend being mistreated because of the church, or when I read a story on here that sets me off. There's a lot to learn, a lot to absorb, a lot to reconcile. Recovery is not a straight line. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't feeling the right things or doing the right things. Each journey out of the church is unique, and you have a right to your journey. Anger is part of it, and it's not a negative emotion, contrary to what the church teaches. It's just part of recovery and part of life.

twojedis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One thing I've learned in the 10 months I've known
> the truth is that the different emotions of
> recovery ebb and flow. I'm not angry all the
> time, but I am when I see a friend being
> mistreated because of the church, or when I read a
> story on here that sets me off. There's a lot to
> learn, a lot to absorb, a lot to reconcile.
> Recovery is not a straight line. Don't let anyone
> tell you that you aren't feeling the right things
> or doing the right things. Each journey out of
> the church is unique, and you have a right to your
> journey. Anger is part of it, and it's not a
> negative emotion, contrary to what the church
> teaches. It's just part of recovery and part of
> life.


I liked the way you phrased that.
I have a friend who's now exmo and she thinks anyone who shows a little anger is someone she should avoid.
Weird thing is that she has inner anger which she denies. She tries to go past any negative emotion and into happy positive land, but always crashes and still won't go into the anger but prefers to always try bypass it.

My opinion of all the people I know who fear the anger issues that occasionally arise is that they really fear the anger in themselves....like it might be too much for them to handle.

Now it is time to remove your name from the church membership list. The tscc needs to be reminded that people are finding out about the true history of Joseph Smith and tscc. It is also necessary to remove your name to force them to be honest about their membership numbers.

I'm actually moving house soon, so I'm waiting until I do that so I don't get a flood of members on my doorstep telling me I'm making a big mistake and that I should come back into the fold. Lol.

> I spent a short while trying to consider the
> feasibility of ordering a punch bag, then took to
> Facebook, needing immediate release.


This gave me a big belly laugh!

(It's so well worded and immediately relatable.)

Thank you!

Haha no problem! Glad I'm not the only one! :D

I still can't get myself to confront my mission trainer. He remembers my birthday every year. I get a text saying "happy birthday brother! love ya much!" or something similar. Once he sent a text saying "our hard work paid off!" because there's finally a temple in our mission. I haven't responded for over a year. My birthday is coming up. if I get a text, that day will be the day. I'm finally up to the challenge.

I do love and appreciate the guy though. I learned a lot of good things from him.