One day, the Mormon Prophet, the Catholic Pope, and a famous television evangelist were out fishing together. A storm arose, somehow the boat capsized, and they all drowned. Upon their arrival at the gates of heaven, St. Peter said “oh… we weren’t expecting the three of you so soon. We don’t have your eternal homes here prepared yet. Can the three of you wait just three days in hell while we prepare your new eternal homes? It’ll only take three days”. All three of them agreed. The next day, Satan showed up at the gates of heaven saying “you’ve got to get these three guys out of here”. “This evangelist” said Satan “is preaching. We can’t have any preaching in hell. And the Pope, he’s baptizing people. We can’t have any baptisms in hell either”. St Peter said “yes, I can see your predicament. By the way, what’s the Mormon Prophet doing that you need him out so soon?”. Satan replied “he’s raised enough money to air condition the whole place”.

Good one! Ya.. we need a little humor! And that's a new one for me!

a video:

http://youtu.be/ENz3vrn3wmY

There are three classic things that tell you that Jesus was a Jew.
1.) He went in to his father's business
2.) His mother thought he was god
3.) He thought his mother was a virgin

Here's my collection:

http://www.mormonprobe.com/index.php?topic=Humor

I think I posted these before here. But oh well, my personal favorites from my joke folder on my desktop.

Not my original jokes.

One day, Jesus was walking by the Pearly Gates, when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes.

Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach.

He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard.

"How did you spend your life on earth my son?" asked Jesus.

"I was a simple carpenter for sixty years" replied the old man.

"And what do you hope to find here in heaven" asked Jesus.

"I hope to find my son" said the man

"Well there are millions upon millions of people here, how will you find him?"

"I'll recognize him by the nail holes in his hands and feet," states the old man.

Jesus does a double take, thinks for a moment and says, "Father???"

The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?"



******




Joseph Smith was out chopping some wood near the riverbank. Then on a missed swing he dropped his axe into the river. "God!" he cursed, to which the Lord then appeared to him in a pillar of light.

"What is wanted?" the Lord asked

"Oh uh, I dropped my axe in the river." he said

Then the Lord came back with a gold axe. "Is this it?" he asked

"No." Joe replied

Then the Lord came back with a silver axe. "How about this one?"

"No." Joe again replied

Then the Lord brought back an old iron axe. "This one?"

"Yes, that's it." Joe answered

Then the Lord brought back all three axes and gave them to him saying: "You can have all of these as a reward for being a man of honor." to which Joe accepted gratefully.

Two months later Joe was out chopping wood when his wife Emma slipped and fell into the river. "God!" he cursed again to which the Lord appeared again.

"What is wanted?"

"My beloved wife has fallen into the river oh Lord!"

"Has she a name?"

"Yes."

"Will you give it to me?"

"Emma."

Then the Lord returned with Emma Watson from Harry Potter. "Is this her?"

Joe smiled, eyeing the girl up and down but then replied "No."

Then the Lord returned with Emma Roberts (Julia Roberts' niece) and asked "Is this her?"

"Ooo!" Joe squealed with joy, but then held back his excitement and replied "No."

Finally the Lord returned with his wife Emma and then asked "Is this her?"

"Yep! That's her." Joe replied, to which the Lord then thanked Joe and simply left.

"Hey! Where's those other two girls?" Joe yelled at the sky. "You tricked me God, from now on I'm having as many wives and I want and I'm never telling the truth again!" and thus the Mormon church was born.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2013 11:40PM by notsurewhattothink.

Ever notice? That statue of Brigham Young in downtown Salt Lake. His hand is pointed toward the bank while his rear is aimed at the Temple.