Shake their hand with a temple hand shake and greet them with "what is wanted" or something like that. Or just be nice, invite them in, give them water, then start talking anti no stuff with them.
I agree that you should have them for dinner. Making them uncomfortable with beer etc. is unnecessary since any conversation with them about <pick your favorite doctrinal issue> will surely do that. Making them uncomfortable is necessary though because unless they experience cog dis, they'll never see light. We've all been there :-) IMHO missionaries are the highest risk of becoming lifelong victims of the morg, therefore our highest priority of our rescue mission....
The last time the missionaries were anywhere near me, I lived in an ethnically diverse part of Berkeley. When I opened the door, the mishie looked at me and said "Buenas tardes, senora. Me llamo Elder Young. Como esta usted?"
My response was rather blistering: "Do you really presume that everyone who lives in this neighborhood speaks Spanish as their first language? I think you're going to be in for a very rude awakening if you try this with the Pakistani family two doors down."
It really put him off of his planned speech, I must say, because his next line was "Um, would you like a Book of Mormon?"
"No, thanks. I have two upstairs from my parents already. I really don't need a third."
"Could we come back and talk to you again?"
"No. Buenas tardes, Elder Young."
I think there was a big X on my address after that, because I never saw any of htem again.
Now, maybe I'm crazy, but I thought it was blatantly racist to presume someone's native tongue based on their address. "Oh, they live on this block; they probably don't know any English. Be sure to use your Spanish skills, Bob."
Nowadays, part of me feels sorry for the poor kids, and the other part of me wants to say "Hey, Mormons! How come your church worked so hard to take away rights from my gay friends?" and see what they do.
I'm a single mom so I would never answer out of safety. But you are an ex-cop? I would answer the door with guns loaded and a scary smile on your face :)
Answering the door with a gun is a good way to start the kind of problems you don't need to start. Come to think of it, answering the door topless, for a woman, opens you up to legal problems, but in most places they couldn't make an arrest unless a cop witnessed the act themselves, or a child was present.
I was trying to make a little green apron out of construction paper when the property manager intercepted them.
Let me explain it this way. If you and your daughter were selling girl scout cookies, and you went up to a door, and a guy answers the door, naked and touching his junk, he has still committed a crime, even though it is his property.
Now with a woman answering the door topless isn't the same thing, but it is considered a lesser version of the same thing. A misdemeanor vs a felony. Now in most misdemeanors the cop actually has to witness it in order to make an arrest. Unless a cop is outside, say on splits with the missionaries, it isn't an arrestable offense.
To make matter even more fun, being topless is really only a crime, in my state, if it is done in a place where unrelated children may see it. You answer the back door that way, no crime. You answer the front door, you are now exposed to the public, even though you are still on your property.
Now we could start a thread about rather or not women being topless should be considered a crime, which I personally feel is not really as big a deal as society makes it, but that would be off topic from this one.
I'm only giving advice on how to avoid trouble, keeping in mind that I am not a lawyer, and anything I say should be taken with a grain of salt.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2013 11:13PM by forbiddencokedrinker.
My friend left the church when she was 18 but stopped going at 16. She got pregnant at 17 like I did. When the Mishies stopped by one day, she was about 8mnths pregnant. She stripped butt ass naked and answered the door. She said they couldn't quit staring and gawking! They never came back, lol
I suppose there is one advantage to being a widow, the missionaries won't come in!
Oh well. I'd do what I usually do: give each of then a twenty and send them on their way. Yes. I would be kind. They are doing what they want to do.
My husband and two of your kids served missions and I have no problem giving them some money to get a few of the necessities they tend to live without, especially today when the church doles out the money.
I come from a long line if ministers and missionaries most that served in So. America in the 30's to 60's. Different church, but I still respect their choice.
The kids think they are doing the right thing, they're really victims of the cult.
However, answering the door in temple clothes, or if female, in a bikini top or less, will not harm them. They will go on their way, and pretend they are all kinds of offended, they won't come back, but truth is, they will secretly enjoy being able to tell their buddies about this one time, when the exMormon wearing a baker's cap, and acting all offended. Better yet, thinking about that woman in the provocative outfit that tried to "seduce" them, while they are alone in the shower for the next couple of weeks.
I remember a woman who answered the door in a French Maid outfit, it was close to Halloween and they were having a party. No bare breast, but I got a lot of traction out of that memory. Funny thing, she was kind of average, maybe even a bit overweight, but to a sexually oppressed Mormon missionary, she was a solid 10.