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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: February 27, 2013 11:22PM

In September 1993, I twice met privately (at my personal request and through the assistance of my father, Mark A. Benson--R.I.P.--who helped arrange the encounters), with Mormon apostles Neal A. Maxwell and Dallin H. Oaks in the offices of the LDS Church Administration Office building in Salt Lake City, Utah.

There (among other vain attempts at defending the Mormon Church) Maxwell and Oaks made a futile effort to legitimize the alleged "translation" of Joseph Smith's scriptural hoax--otherwise known as the Book of Abraham. (Before commencing this impossible task, Maxwell and Oaks were apparently worried that I might be taping our conversations and, in fact, asked me if that was the case. I wasn't but I took notes during our discussions and when back home in Arizona recorded my personal recollections on a tape recorder while still fresh in my mind).
_____


Maxwell was much more energetic than Oaks in their jointly-unsuccessful exercise in defending the Book of Abraham.

Maxwell first appealed to other LDS scripture--in this case, the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 7--to argue that the Book of Abraham was translated by Smith in "catalystic fashion." Maxwell told me that Smith had in a vision seen parchments from the writings of John the Revelator. Maxwell also told me that Smith may have had revealed to him Egyptian parchments which he did not touch, physically hold or from which he did not directly translate. In other words, Maxwell said, Smith may have been "accessing" ancient parchments that were not actually with him. Instead, Maxwell proposed, he may have had revealed to him "in some kind of vision" the source from which he then translated the Book of Abraham.

Enter Oaks--who admitted that he personally did not know how Smith translated the Book of Abraham. He did say, however, that Maxwell's explanation seemed persuasive.

Oaks did, however, say that he was familiar with the "Egyptian Alphabet and Grammar" (which Smith was magically constructing). I responded by going into brief detail about how Smith, or his scribes, would copy an Egyptian hieroglyph from the parchment into a left-hand column, then apparently from that single hieroglyph, produce a whole series of words and paragraphs. I further noted that the words and dictionary which Smith attached to the facsimiles had absolutely no relationship with the content of the papyri--as indicated and translated by such noted and reputable Egyptologists as Klaus Bauer of the University of Chicago and others.

At this point, Oaks said, "Well, there are some things I just don't understand and just don't know." But he said he was willing to put such matters on the shelf "until further knowledge comes." Oaks asserted that the jury was still out on the Book of Abraham and that we should "wait and see." Oaks admitted that "the scholars" (meaning critics of the BOok of Abraham) seemed to have evidence "in their favor," but that he himself had a "personal witness" that the Book of Abraham was true. Oaks concluded by saying that he did not let evidence "weighted against Joseph Smith on this" persuade him that the Book of Abraham is not true.

Maxwell was more positive, more hopeful--and more naive.

While acknowledging that Smith's former scribe Warren Parrish and Mormon hymn composer W. W. Phelps (of 'The Spirit of God Like a Fire is Burning' fame) were at one point about ready to leave the LDS Church, Maxwell told me, 'Don't pounce on Joseph Smith.' Maxwell said that the work of Parrish and Phelps on the Book of Abraham manuscript helped bolster the argument that the Egyptian funerary texts were not the actual parchments used by Smith in his translation of the Book of Abraham--or, for that matter, that Smith was even the author of the four extant manuscripts of the Book of Abraham.

In support of that position, Maxwell handed me a FARMS review, written by Michael D. Rhodes, of Charles M. Larson's book, '. . . By His Own Hand upon Papyrus: A New Look at the Joseph Smith Papyri' (Grand Rapids: Institute for Religious Research, 1992, p. 240 pp., illustrated).

On closer examination of the paper on which Rhodes' review was photocopied, I determined that the review, in fact, had originated with FARMS. It was printed on fax paper bearing the acronym "F.A.R.M.S," along with the "FAX" date of '09/09/93.' It also bore a dispatch time of "1:55" and a BYU-area phone number of "378 3724."

FARMS, at Maxwell's request, was riding to the rescue in his effort to help sell the Book of Abraham during our discussions.

Maxwell had highlighted in yellow the following excerpt from Rhodes' article (broken out below in paragraphs for easier reading):

"First of all, none of these manuscripts of the [B]ook of Abraham is in Joseph Smith's handwriting. They are mostly in the handwriting of William W. Phelps, with a few short sections written by Warren Parrish. Nowhere in the documents is Joseph Smith designated as the author.

"Moreover, the Egyptian characters in the left-hand margin were clearly written in after the English text had been written. These cannot be the working papers of a translation process. Instead, Phelps and Parrish seemed to have copied down the text of the [B]ook of Abraham and were then attempting to correlate that translation with some of the scrolls in the Church's possession.

"These documents are most likely that preliminary stage of investigation and exploration the Lord prescribed in DandC 9:8 to 'study it out in your mind.' The Lord expects us to first do all we can to understand something (and in the process discover our own limitations) before we seek for direct revelation from him. This is what Phelps and Parrish were apparently doing, although their efforts were short-lived and unsuccessful.

"In fact these same men shortly after this began to turn away from the Prophet Joseph and fell into apostasy. If they had been parties to some fraudulent process of producing the [B]ook of Abraham, they would surely have denounced Joseph Smith for this, but they never did."

Rhodes' apologetics were apparently good enough for Maxwell, since he heaped glowing praise on FARMS, telling me, "We're grateful for FARMS because they protect us on the flank." In fact, Maxwell confided to me that FARMS had been given the express mission of not allowing the Mormon Church to become outflanked. In relaying to me his sincere gratitude to FARMS, it was obvious what Maxwell meant: FARMS' job was to prevent the Mormon Church from being defeated through end-arounds by its critics and, in that quest, was keeping the Mormon apostles themselves from finding themselves outflanked and outgunned.

Oaks was somewhat less enthusiastic about FARMS.

Oaks told me that FARMS sometimes gets "hyperactive" in its efforts to prove the truth of Mormon scripture. He said he becomes concerned when FARMS "stops making shields and starts turning out swords" because, he said, "you cannot prove [Mormon scripture] out of the realm of faith." Oaks said that accepting the truth of LDS holy writ was ultimately a matter of faith.

In the end, however, it was Maxwell who--in reacting to criticism of the Book of Abraham's authenticity--sweepingly declared, "We will not twist or oscillate every time we come across new evidence. The Church is not a jerkwater organization."

Earth to Maxwell: The Mormon Church is not only jerkwater, it's in way over its head.

*****


Since Maxwell and Oaks didn't know what they were talking about when it came to the Book of Abraham, let's turn to a Mormon who does.

His name is Stephen E. Thompson, and he's a real Egyptologist.

Thompson demonstrates on a variety of informed fronts that Joseph Smith didn't actually translate the Book of Mormon and that, in fact, Smith knew nothing of genuine substance about ancient Egyptian language, history, beliefs. culture, art or customs. (Never let the facts get in the way of a Mormon prophet's "revelations").

Thompson's explanations of Book of Abraham realities are found in his article entitled, "'Egyptology and the Book of Abraham" (also paragraphed-out for easier reading).

To better understand what Thompson is referring to in his following article, it is recommended that readers examine the Book of Abraham facsimiles, provided under the heading, "Significant Details and Problems that Most LDS Are Not Aware Of--Per Critics of the [Mormon] Church," at: http://www.mormonthink.com/book-of-abraham-issues.htm


Now, Thompson's anaylsis:

"In the entry on the facsimiles from the Book of Abraham in the 'Encyclopedia of Mormonism' we are told that 'the Prophet's explanations of each of the facsimiles accord with present understanding of Egyptian religious practice.'

"This is a remarkable statement in view of the fact that non-Mormon Egyptologists who have commented on Joseph Smith's interpretation of the facsimiles uniformly agree that his interpretations are not correct from the perspective of the Egyptologist, who attempts to interpret Egyptian religious literature and iconography as he or she believes the ancient Egyptians would have.

"For example, in the famous pamphlet compiled by the Reverend Spalding in 1912, James H. Breasted--the first person to hold a chair devoted to Egyptology in America--stated, 'Joseph Smith's interpretation of [the facsimiles] . . . very clearly demonstrates that he was totally unacquainted with the significance of these documents and absolutely ignorant of the simplest facts of Egyptian writing and civilization.'

"More recently, Klaus Baer, speaking of Joseph Smith's interpretation of the original of Facsimile 1 and the accompanying text, noted that 'the Egyptologist interprets it differently, relying on a considerable body of parallel data, research and knowledge.'

"The matter which I propose to examine is whether the 'present understanding of Egyptian religious practice' supports Joseph Smith's explanations of the facsimiles found in the Book of Abraham. In addition, I will discuss the contribution which a study of Egyptian history can make to our understanding of the nature of this book of scripture.

"Let us begin with Facsimiles 1 and 3 of the Book of Abraham.

"A correct understanding of the original context and purpose of these scenes has been made possible by the recovery of the Joseph Smith Papyri [P.JS] from the files of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York in 1967. Within this group of papyri is the original from which Facsimile 1 was derived.

"A study of the papyri shows that P.JS 1 was originally a vignette belonging to an Egyptian funerary text known as the First Book of Breathings, dating to the first century B.C., portions of which are also among the papyri recovered by the LDS church.

"A comparison of the material found in some of the Kirtland (Ohio) Egyptian papers with P.JS 1 and 11 indicates that the scene was damaged when Joseph Smith received it and that the missing portions were restored when Facsimile 1 was created.

"It is also very probable that Facsimile 3 served as the concluding vignette of this text. This conclusion is based on the fact that the name of the individual for whom this particular copy of the Book of Breathings was prepared occurs as Horus in both P.JS 1 and Facsimile 3, that Facsimile 1 and 3 are similar in size, and that scenes similar to Facsimile 3 also occur in other known copies of the First Book of Breathings.

"'The First Book of Breathings' is an Egyptian funerary text whose earliest attestation is the end of the 30th Egyptian Dynasty (ca. 380-343 B.C.). This text was buried with the deceased and was intended to serve as a sort of 'passport and guide' to achieving a blessed state in the hereafter. This involved the continued existence of the deceased in the company of Osiris, king of the Netherworld, and with the sun-god Re in his celestial bark.

"As a first step in achieving these goals, the deceased had to undergo the proper rituals of mummification. Papyrus Joseph Smith 1 (Facs. 1 in Abr.) depicts the god Anubis (Fig. 3 in Facs. 1) officiating in the embalming rites for the deceased individual, Horus (Fig. 2 in Facs. 1), shown lying on the bier. This scene does not portray a sacrifice of any sort.

"To note just a few instances in which Joseph Smith's interpretations of these figures differ from the way they are to be understood in their original context, consider the fact that Fig. 11 (in Facs. 1), which Joseph interprets as 'designed to represent the pillars of heaven, as understood by the Egyptians,' is actually a palace fa[c]ade, called a serekh, which was a frequent decoration on funerary objects. The serekh originally depicted 'the front of a fortified palace . . . with its narrow gateway, floral tr'cery above the gates, clerestories and recessed buttresses.'

"Furthermore, Joseph interpreted Figure 12 (Facs. 1) as 'raukeeyang' [a transliteration of the Hebrew word for firmament], signifying expanse or firmament over our heads; but in this case, in relation to this subject, the Egyptians meant it to signify 'Shaumau' [another Hebrew word], to be high, or the heavens, answering to the Hebrew word 'Shaumahyeem' [another Hebrew word].'

"In fact, these strokes represent water in which the crocodile, symbolizing the god Horus (Fig. 9 in Facs. 1), swims. Altcough it appears that the water is supported by the palace fa[c]ade, this is simply an illusion produced by the perspective adopted in Egyptian art. Actually, everything shown above the fa[c]ade is to be understood as occurring behind it, i.e., Figure 11 represents the wall surrounding the palace in which the activity depicted in the scene occurs.

"Baer has described Facsimile 3 (in Abr.) as 'a summary, in one illustration, of what the [text] promised: The deceased, after successfully undergoing judgement, is welcomed into the presence of Osiris.' Facsimile 3 shows the deceased, Horus (Fig. 5), being introduced before Osiris, the god of the dead (Fig. 1), by the goddess Maat (Fig. 4) and the god Anubis (Fig. 6). Osiris's wife, Isis (Fig. 2), stands behind him. That Figure 6 is to be identified as Anubis I consider a virtual certainty, owing to the fact that he is black (which is the customary color of Anubis) and because of the spike found on his head, which is actually the remnant of a dog's ear.

"In my opinion, none of Joseph Smith's interpretations of the figures in these scenes accord with the way in which the ancient Egyptians probably understood them.

"So, if this is the way the ancient Egyptians would have interpreted these figures, how can the statement be made that the prophet's explanations of each of the facsimiles accords 'with present understanding of Egyptian religious practice'?

"First, it is important to note that the originals of these facsimiles of the Book of Abraham were created for a specific purpose--to provide for the successful transition of an individual to the afterlife upon his death. Every figure in the facsimiles had as its purpose the accomplishing of that goal. While it is possible that some of these figures might appear in other contexts and take on other meanings in those contexts, in the context of the funerary papyri their interpretation is related to funerary purposes.

"The approach taken in attempting to support Joseph's interpretations of these figures is to compare them with figures found in other historical and textual contexts. It is simply not valid, however, to search through 3,000 years of Egyptian religious iconography to find parallels which can be pushed, prodded, squeezed or linked in an attempt to justify Joseph's interpretations.

"For example, there has been an effort made to associate Facsimile 1 with an Egyptian royal festival known as the Sed festival, whose purpose was 'the symbolic renewing of the power of the kingship.' [Hugh] Nibley has claimed that 'in [the Sed-festival] the king is ritually put to death and then restored to life. An important part of the Sed festival was the choosing of a substitute to die for the king so that he would not have to undergo the painful process to achieve resurrection.'

"There are serious obstacles which render this comparison invalid.

"First, there is the element of time. The last known depiction of the Sed festival dates to 690-664 B.C., and there is no evidence that the Sed festival was celebrated during the Greco-Roman period--the time during which P.JS 1 was created.

"Second, it is important to note the context in which these supposed parallels occur. Scenes of the Sed festival occurring in a private context, i.e., on an object belonging to a non-royal individual, are extremely rare and I know of none which occur in funerary papyri.

"Third, the so-called 'lion-furniture' scenes from the Sed festival bear no resemblance to the scene in P.JS 1.

"Finally, it should be noted that, while early generations of Egyptologists thought that the Sed festival involved the ritual murder of the king or his representative, more recent analysis has shown this is not the case. So even if the scene were derived from earlier depictions of the Sed festival, it would still have nothing to do with the sacrifice of anyone.

"Nibley has compared Facsimile 3 (in Abr.) with scenes from Eighteenth Dynasty (1550-1295 B.C.) Egyptian tombs depicting the tomb owner in the presence of the King, since Joseph Smith claims that the scene shows Abraham 'reasoning upon the principles of Astronomy, in the King's court.'

"Comparison of these two types of scenes runs into many of the same obstacles as the attempt to equate Facsimile 1 with the Sed festival scenes.

"There is a gap of over 1,000 years between the two types of scenes being compared. Nibley attempts to get around this by stating that this is a 'timeless scene recognizable from predynastic monuments on down to the latest times.' He cites no evidence which substantiates this claim. The work which Nibley relies on in making his comparison does not discuss any examples of such scenes from the period from which the Joseph Smith papyri derive. In fact, the scenes with which Nibley wishes to compare Facsimile 3 are atypical when viewed from the perspective of the history of Egyptian tomb decoration. It is also significant that the type of scene with which Nibley wishes to compare Facsimile 3 does not occur in funerary papyri. Comparison of Facsimile 3 to this type of scene is as spurious as that of Facsimile 1 with Sed festival scenes.

"In addition to invalidating comparisons made between the facsimiles and other genres of Egyptian texts, attention to the original context of the facsimiles also serves to settle an on-going debate about whether Figure 3 in Facsimile 1 originally held a knife.

"Before the discovery of the papyri it was argued if this knife was original or if it was added by Joseph Smith. With the discovery of the original of Facsimile 1, it became apparent that Joseph indeed was the source of the 'restoration' of the knife, as demonstrated by [Ed] Ashment. There continue to be attempts, however, to argue that a knife was originally present based on accounts from individuals who saw the papyri in Kirtland or Nauvoo.

"The question never asked in arguments for the original presence of a knife is, '[W]hat would the knife have meant in its original, funerary, context[?]' As stated earlier, Facsimile 1 represents the deceased individual, Horus, lying on a bier undergoing the rites of mummification by the god Anubis. While part of the mummification process did involve evisceration, I am aware of no instance in which this procedure is depicted.

"Given the Egyptians' reticence in depicting things which might be harmful to the deceased in his tomb, it is unlikely that an Egyptian would ever wish himself depicted being approached by a god with a knife. Knives are usually found in the hands of demons, protective deities such as Bes and Thoeris (who were the Egyptian god and goddess responsible for protecting women during childbirth), the door-keepers in the afterworld and the devourer in the scenes of the judgement of the dead. I know of no instance in which Anubis is depicted with a knife. The original context of Facsimile 1 would not seem to admit the possibility of a knife in Anubis's hand and the restoration of a knife does not, in my opinion, represent the original state of the papyrus.

"Facsimile 2 is a drawing of an Egyptian funerary amulet known as a hypocephalus, which was placed under the head of the mummy and was intended to protect the head of the deceased, provide him with the sun's life-giving warmth and to make it possible for him to join the sun god Re in his celestial boat, and thereby insure his continued, pleasant existence in the next life. Hypocephali are attested in Egypt during the Late Period and the Ptolemaic period.

"The interpretation of Facsimile 2 poses more of a challenge to Egyptologists and therefore is a more fruitful ground for those seeking to justify Joseph Smith's interpretations of the figures in this facsimile.

"The challenge arises from the fact that many of the figures in the hypocephalus are not labeled and can only be tentatively identified through citing parallel illustrations and allusions in other texts. In interpreting the figures in the hypocephalus, Egyptologists rely on the fact that 'the image of the hypocephalus presents the rising from the Duat, the rebirth of the deceased with the sun, the scenes are rich illustrations of Ch. 162 of the Book of the Dead.'

"Concerning Joseph Smith's interpretations of the figures in this facsimile, it has been stated that 'his explanations are, in general, reasonable in light of modern Egyptological knowledge.' A comparison of Smith's interpretations with current Egyptological scholarship shows that this statement is also incorrect.

"For example, Figure 5 is identified by Joseph Smith as 'Enish-go-on-dosh,' which he claims 'is said by the Egyptians to be the sun.' This figure actually depicts the celestial cow-goddess known as 'Ih.t-wrt,' or 'Mh.t-wr.t' (the great flood), or Hathor. Varga has identified this figure as 'the most important in a hypocephalus.' These goddesses were thought of as the mother of Re, the sun-god, with 'Mh.t-wr.t' representing the flood from which he arises daily.

"It is important to note that, while this figure is associated with the sun, i.e., as the mother of the sun-god, it is never equated with the sun. The sun is always a masculine deity in Egyptian religion. Joseph Smith's interpretation might be adjudged close by some, but in my opinion it cannot be judged as 'generally correct.'

"As another example of the attempt to justify Joseph's interpretations of the figures in this facsimile, note Facsimile 2, Figure 4, which has been claimed to be an instance in which the prophet 'hits it right on the mark.' The explanation given in the Book of Abraham notes that this figure 'answers to the Hebrew word "Raukeeyang," signifying expanse, or the firmament of the heavens, also a numerical figure, in Egyptian signifying 1,000."

"Admittedly, certain identification of this figure is not possible with the information currently available to the Egyptologist. Varga originally identified the figure as the god Sokar but later resorted to the more vague description of 'the mummy of a falcon with outspread wings.' The problem is that this figure does not match exactly the iconography of any known falcon god, i.e., mummiform with outspread wings. One suggestion is that this figure is to be identified with the falcon who rises from the Duat in Book of the Dead spell 71.

"When attempting to evaluate the correctness of Joseph's explanation of the figure, it should be noted that there is no evidence that the ancient Egyptians ever depicted the sky (firmament of the heavens) as a ship of any sort.

"In order to get around this, Mormon apologists dissect the wings of the bird in the ship and compare them with depictions of the sky as outspread wings. [Michael D.] Rhodes [whose FARMS fax Neal A. Maxwell invoked] identifies the bird in Figure 4 as Horus-Sokar and claims that 'Horus was a personification of the sky.' It should be pointed out, however, that Joseph's interpretation of the figure apparently applies to the whole figure, not to only a part of it. I can see no justification for removing a part of the figure and then claiming to find interpretations which can be forced to agree with Joseph's explanation.

"In order to support Joseph's identification of this figure as the number 1,000, reference is made to a supposed Egyptian 'ship of 1,000' found in a passage from a sarcophagus dating to the Egyptian 26th Dynasty. There we find the expression 'wi3.f n h3 r tpwy.fy,' which Sander-Hansen renders as 'seinem Schiffe der 1000 bis zu seinen beiden K pfen' (his ship of 1,000 up to its two heads). In Sander-Hansen's discussion of the passage, he notes that he understands this phrase to mean a ship 1,000 cubits in length. This text is a later version of Book of the Dead Spell 136a.

"Recent translators have recognized that 'h3' in this phrase does not refer to the number 1,000, but to the word 'h3.' meaning flowers or buds. T. G. Allen, in his translation of the Book of the Dead, renders the phrase as 'the bark with blossom(s) at its ends,' and Faulkner, in his translation, renders it as 'the bark . . . which has lotus-flowers on its ends.' In connection with this spell, Milde notes that 'lotus-shaped prows are very common in various vignettes.'

"In other words, there is no Egyptian 'ship of 1,000,' only a ship with lotus-shaped prows.

"And all this is quite beside the point. Joseph, in his explanation of the figure in the facsimile said that it was 'also a numerical figure, in Egyptian signifying 1,000.' It was not. There is no evidence that any ship was ever used as a numerical figure to represent 1,000 or any other number. It should also be noted that of those who wish to equate the figure from the facsimile with the so-called "ship of 1,000,' none has ever produced an image of this ship and then compared it to the facsimile. It is simply assumed that if a ship of 1,000 can be found in an Egyptian text, it must be the one Joseph Smith was talking about.

"Finally, it has been repeatedly claimed that Figure 6 in Facsimile 2, which is a depiction of the four sons of Horus (also found as Figures 5-8 in Facsimile 1) 'could indeed "represent this earth in its four quarters" in the ancient world, as the explanation to the facsimile in the Book of Abraham says.' As far as ancient Egypt was concerned, there is no evidence currently available to support this claim. There is only one context in which the sons of Horus are associated with the cardinal directions, i.e., the 'earth in its four quarters.' They were sent out, in the form of birds, as heralds of the king's coronation. In this setting, Duamutef (Facs. 1, Fig. 6) went to the East, Qebehsenuef (Facs. 1, Fig. 5) to the West, Amset (Facs. 1, Fig. 8) to the South and Hapi (Facs. 1, Fig. 7) to the North. I must emphasize that it is only in this context, and in the form of birds, that these gods were associated with the cardinal points. In a funerary context no such relationship is evident. Furthermore, the fact that these gods were sent to the four quarters of the earth does not mean that the Egyptians equated them with these directions. There is no evidence that they did so.


"Authorship

"One area in which the field of Egyptology aids our understanding of the nature of the Book of Abraham is in its authorship.

"On one hand, it has been claimed that the Book of Abraham is an actual Abraham holograph. Recently, Paul Hoskisson stated that 'the content of the Book of Abraham did not pass through numerous revisions, the hands of countless scribes. . . . It purports to be a rendering of an ancient document originally composed by Abraham himself' and, as such, he maintains that the Book of Abraham cannot contain anachronisms, i.e., things that could not have occurred during Abraham's lifetime.

"Others have argued that while the contents of the text might in some way go back to Abraham, Abraham himself was not the author of the text of the Book of Abraham as it now stands in the Pearl of Great Price.

"In view of the fact that the heading of the Book of Abraham in the current edition of the Pearl of Great Price states that the text represents 'the writings of Abraham . . . written by his own hand, upon papyrus,' I believe it is likely that many members of the [Mormon] Church believe that the Book of Abraham is the result of a translation of a direct Abraham holograph.

"One way to judge whether the Book of Abraham was translated directly from an Abraham holograph is by whether the text of the book contains anachronisms.

"Of course, the first thing that has to be determined is when Abraham lived. The answer to this is by no means simple and scholarly estimates for the age of the patriarchs range from 2200 to 1200 B.C. Many scholars maintain that it is not possible to define a time-period as the most likely setting for the tales of the patriarchs. Others would argue that while it is not possible to assign a date to the lifetime of Abraham, it is possible to situate chronologically the so-called 'Patriarchal Age.' Many scholars would place this sometime during the first half of the second millennium, i.e., 2000-1500 B.C., while others would narrow the time frame within this period.

"In our search for anachronisms it would be safe to say that anything occurring after 1500 B.C. is definitely anachronistic to Abraham's lifetime and since Abraham is portrayed as the first patriarch, anything occurring at the end of this period is probably anachronistic.

"What, then, are the anachronisms which I believe can be identified in the Book of Abraham?

"First, the association of Facsimile 1 with the Book of Abraham cannot derive from Abraham since Facsimile 1 dates to approximately 100 B.C.

"There are passages in the text of the Book of Abraham which are attributed to Abraham and which refer to Facsimile 1 (Abr. 1:12, 14). The most straightforward reading of these passages indicates that Abraham himself was responsible for the association of Facsimile 1 with his own attempted sacrifice.

"The book opens with Abraham speaking in the first person (v. 1), and there is no reason to think that the 'I' in verse 12, where we read 'I will refer you to the representation at the commencement of this record,' refers to anyone except Abraham. These passages are unquestionably anachronistic to Abraham's day.

"Second, there are several proper nouns in the text of the Book of Abraham which also postdate Abraham. I will consider them in the order of their occurrence in the text.

"The first such term, Chaldea, occurs in Abraham 1:1, and subsequently verses 8, 13, 20, 23, 29-30, and 2:4. The Chaldeans (Hebrew: 'kasdim') were a people who spoke a West-Semitic language similar to Aramaic and who appeared in the ninth century B.C. in the land south of Babylonia, and appear to have migrated from Syria. Westermann has noted that the city of Ur could be qualified as 'of the Chaldees' only from the 10th to the 6th centuries, in any case, not before the first millennium.

"The second anachronistic word we encounter in the text is 'Pharaoh.' In Abraham 1:6 we find 'Pharaoh, king of Egypt.' In Abraham 1:20 we are told that Pharaoh 'signifies king by royal blood.' There is one passage in which the term is treated as a name, rather than as a title. In Abraham 1:25 we read 'the first government of Egypt was established by Pharaoh, the eldest son of Egyptus, the daughter of Ham.'

"The word 'Pharaoh' derives from an Egyptian term for the king's palace, which in Egyptian could be called 'pr-c3,' i.e., 'great house.' This term is not attested as a title for the ruler of Egypt until 1504 B.C., during the reign of Thutmosis III, but was probably used as such earlier in the Eighteenth Dynasty (which began in 1560 B.C.).

"It has been suggested that 'Pharaoh' was simply Joseph's method of translation for a word meaning 'king' and that the word never actually occurred in the text. I would reiterate that in Abraham 1:25 'Pharaoh' appears to be used as a proper noun. That Joseph considered 'Pharaoh' to be an individual's name is apparent from his explanation of Facsimile 3, Figure 2, where we read "King Pharaoh, whose name is given in the characters above his head."

"The next anachronistic word encountered is the name of the place of the attempted sacrifice of Abraham, which is called 'Potiphar's hill' (Abr. 1:10, 20). ''Potiphar is the Hebrew form of the Egyptian name 'P3-di-p3-rc,' which means 'the one whom Re (the sun god), has given.' The name occurs in two forms in the Old Testament, as 'Potiphar'--the name of the Egyptian who bought Joseph (Gen. 37:36)--and as 'Potiphera'-- the priest of On, who was Joseph's father-in-law (Gen. 41:45). Names of the form 'P3-di DN' are common in Egypt but are first attested during the 11th century B.C. The only occurrence of the Egyptian equivalent of 'Potiphar' is found on Cairo stele 65444, which dates to the Egyptian 21st dynasty (1069-945 B.C.).

"The final anachronistic name in the Book of Abraham is Egyptus. In Abraham 1:23 we read: 'The land of Egypt being first discovered by a woman, who was the daughter of Ham, and the daughter of Egyptus, which in the Chaldean signifies Egypt, which signifies that which is forbidden.'

"First, 'Egyptus' is not a Chaldean word, but Greek, and does not mean 'forbidden' in any language. The Greek 'Egyptus' apparently derives from Egyptian 'hwt-k3-pth' [meaning] 'the house of the "ka of Ptah,"' which was the name of a temple of Ptah in Memphis. During the New Kingdom, this term came to designate the town of Memphis, the capital of Egypt, in which the temple was located.

"There is some evidence that forms of this name were being used by foreigners to refer to the country of Egypt. It is attested in a Mycenaean Linear B tablet from Knossos, which is usually dated to around 1375 B.C., i.e., 125 years after Abraham, as a man's name, presupposing that it was already a name for Egypt. Note also that the text (Abr. 1:22-25) implies that Egypt derived its name from an eponymous ancestor, Egyptus. Given the facts concerning the origin of the word 'Egyptus,' however, this cannot represent historical reality.

"From the foregoing discussion, it appears that if one accepts a date of sometime in the first half of the second millennium for Abraham, then there are four anachronistic names in the text: 'Chaldea,' 'Potiphar,' 'Egyptus' and probably 'Pharaoh.' Since these are names, it is not likely that they are translation equivalents of other words in the original text.

"I believe that there is sufficient evidence of anachronisms in the text of the Book of Abraham to conclude that it cannot be an actual Abraham holograph, i.e., that it was not 'written by his [Abraham's] own hand upon papyrus.'


"History

"One of the primary events of the Book of Abraham is the attempted sacrifice of Abraham. We are told that in the land of the Chaldeans the 'god of Pharaoh,' which apparently should be taken to mean 'the god Pharaoh,' was worshipped (Abr. 1:7, 9-10, 13, 17). There was even a priesthood dedicated to the worship of Pharaoh and this priesthood offered human sacrifices to him. We are told that a 'thank-offering' was offered consisting of a child (v. 10), and that three 'virgins' were killed on the sacrificial altar because they 'would not bow down to worship gods of wood or of stone' (v. 11). Finally, the priest of Pharaoh attempted to sacrifice Abraham, at which point the Lord intervened, rescued Abraham and destroyed the altar and the priest (vv. 15-20).

"From this we can infer several things. Apparently Pharaoh and several other Egyptian deities were being worshipped in Chaldea. We are not told specifically that the other gods were Egyptian but we are told that the worship practices were 'after the manner of the Egyptians' (Abr. 1:9, 11) and the images which are said to represent these gods are Egyptian (v. 14). We can therefore plausibly infer that they were Egyptian deities.

"Part of the worship of these gods involved human sacrifice. The religion of that time and place was intolerant; anyone choosing not to engage in these worship practices ran the risk of losing his or her life. These practices seem to have been endorsed or promoted, or at least encouraged, by the Egyptian pharaoh. We are told that at the death of the priest who attempted to sacrifice Abraham there was 'great mourning . . . in the court of Pharaoh' (v. 20).

"The first thing we have to ask ourselves is to what extent were Egyptian worship practices introduced into Asia. If one accepts that Ur of the Chaldees refers to Tell Muqayyar, in southern Mesopotamia, then from the start the text must be judged historically erroneous because the Egyptians never had a strong cultural influence on Mesopotamia. There have been attempts to locate Abraham's Ur near Haran. This area is also outside of Egypt's sphere of influence, even at the height of its empire.

"In order to evaluate the verisimilitude of the account found in the Book of Abraham, we have to examine Egypt's religious policy toward its Asiatic Empire, which first came into existence during the New Kingdom. The results of such a study indicate that Egyptian gods were only rarely worshipped in Syria-Palestine, and then exceptionally. Rather than introducing Egyptian gods into Asia, the most common occurrence was for Egyptians stationed at posts and garrisons in Palestine to adopt the worship of the local Asiatic gods.

"Stefan Wimmer has recently written that the Egyptians 'never thought about forcing the local population [of Syria-Palestine] to forsake their gods in exchange for Egyptian ones.' Donald Redford states that the Egyptians 'forced no one to accept Egyptian ways.' Concerning the Egyptians' religious tolerance, J. Cerny has written:

"'Egyptians were tolerant to each other within Egypt itself and they were equally tolerant to the gods of a conquered country. . . . towards the native gods they behaved as they so often did in Egypt towards the god or goddess of another town: they simply considered them as different names and forms of their own Egyptian deities. It is clear that in these circumstances no heresy could arise and with the exception of a short period under and immediately after Ekhnaton, nothing is known of religious persecution of any kind in Egypt.'

"One could argue that it is the Chaldeans doing the persecuting, not the Egyptians. In response, it could be said that Chaldeans had nothing to gain from forcing Egyptian worship practices on their people since Egyptians did not expect it.

"Further, there is no evidence that any Asiatic land ever became so thoroughly Egyptianized that they would have adopted such a zealous attitude toward the Egyptian pharaoh on their own. Again, Redford has noted that 'we have no evidence that these "official" Egyptian cults exerted a serious attraction on the local population [of Canaan].' Bleiberg maintains that "in Palestine, traces of the state religion of Egypt can be found. These traces, however are restricted to the Ramesside period [1295-1069 B.C.]. Their influence is superficial."

"So, it appears that in the area over which they had direct control, and at the height of their imperial power in Syria-Palestine, the Egyptians made no effort to introduce their religion to their subject peoples and they, in turn, exhibited little interest in the gods of their conquerors.

"It is therefore extremely unlikely that any of the areas suggested for the location of Ur would ever have adopted Egyptian religious practices to the extent called for in the Book of Abraham.


"Conclusion

"In the preceding I have argued that:

"(1) Joseph Smith's interpretations of the facsimiles in the Book of Abraham are not in agreement with the meanings which these figures had in their original, funerary, context;

"(2) anachronisms in the text of the book make it impossible that it was translated from a text written by Abraham himself; and

"(3) what we know about the relationship between Egypt and Asia renders the account of the attempted sacrifice of Abraham extremely implausible.

"If one accepts that Joseph Smith was using the facsimiles in a fashion which was not consonant with their original purpose, it does not make sense to then insist that 'the Prophet's explanations of each of the facsimiles accord with present understanding of Egyptian religious practices.'

"I see no evidence that Joseph Smith had a correct conception of 'Egyptian religious practices' or that a knowledge of such was essential to the production of the Book of Abraham."


--"Stephen Thompson received his Bachelors of Arts in Near Eastern Studies from Brigham Young University in 1984. He received his Masters of Arts and his Doctor of Philosophy in Egyptology from Brown University in 1988 and 1991, respectively."

("Egyptology and the Book of Abraham," by Stephen E. Thompson, at: http://www.lds-mormon.com/thompson_book_of_abraham.shtml
_____


*Interesting Side Note: The story of a Mormon General Authority who concluded (and confessed to others) that Joseph Smith couldn't translate ancient Egyptian and that the Book of Abraham wasn't true

When it comes to the inauthenticity of Joseph Smith and his Book of Abraham, LDS apostle and member of the First Presidency Hugh B. Brown was reportedly on to something.

Brown is said to have admitted his assessment to Mormon amateur archaeologist and eventual LDS non-believer, Thomas S. Ferguson. Ferguson played a prominent role in 20th-century efforts to scientifically authenticate the Book of Mormon. Authors Richard K. Ostling and Joan K. Ostling, in their work, “Mormon America: The Power and the Promise,” describe Ferguson as “[t]he father of LDS Mesoamerican research"--who ultimately “concluded that the [B]ook [of Mormon] was a piece of fiction."

(Ostling and Ostling, "Mormon America," Chapter 16, "The Gold Bible" [San Francisco, California: HarperSanFrancisco, 1999, p. 272)


As to the nature of Brown's opinions that he is said to have shared with Ferguson, Brown reportedly did not accept Smith's claims of having translated ancient Egyptian--with Brown going so far as to also acknowledge that the Book of Abraham itself was not genuine.

Mormonism researchers Jerald and Sandra Tanner point to a letter Ferguson wrote to another member of the Mormon Church, James Boyack, on 13 March 1971, in which Ferguson described a closed-door meeting he had with Brown:

"According to Mr. Ferguson, Apostle Brown had [along with Ferguson] also come to the conclusion that the Book of Abraham was false and was in favor of the [Mormon] church giving it up.

"A few years later, Hugh B. Brown said he could 'not recall' making the statements Thomas Stuart Ferguson attributed to him.

"Ferguson, however, was apparently referring to the same incident in the letter of March 13, 1971, when he stated: 'I must conclude that Joseph Smith had not the remotest skill in things Egyptian-hieroglyphics. To my surprise, one of the highest officials in the Mormon Church agreed with that conclusion . . . privately in one-to-one [c]onversation.'"

(Jerald and Sandra Tanner, “Ferguson's Two Faces,” in “Salt Lake City Messenger,” Issue #69, September 1988; included in the article is a copy of Ferguson's actual letter, at: http://www.utlm.org/newsletters/no69.htm)


Ferguson's fatalistic doubts about the authenticity of Mormon scripture--and how those doubts were privately shared by him with a sympathetic Brown--is chronicled in telling detail by Stan Larson, curator of the J. Willard Marriott Library at the University of Utah, as found in his book, “Quest for the Gold Plates: Thomas Stuart Ferguson's Archaeological Search for the Book of Mormon."

Larson reports how Ferguson's growing disbelief in the truthfulness of Mormonism's canonized scripture led him in December 1970 to make a “pivotal trip to Salt Lake City . . . for a very important purpose":

"Ferguson first paid a visit to ['the liberal LDS apostle'] Brown in his office at LDS Church headquarters and reviewed with him the translations of the Egyptologists had made of the Joseph Smith Egyptian papyri.

"During this conversation Ferguson emotionally exclaimed to Brown that Joseph Smith did not possess 'the remotest skill' in translating Egyptian hieroglyphs.

"Ferguson reported an unexpected response from Brown: 'To my surprise, one of the highest officials [Hugh B. Brown] in the Mormon Church agreed with that conclusion when I made that very statement to him.'"

"['Ferguson, letter to James Boyack, 13 March 1971, in Ferguson Collection, University of Utah. For a reproduction of this letter, see Charles M. Larson, 'By His Own Hand Upon Papyrus: A New Look at the Joseph Smith Papyri' [Grand Rapids, Michigan: Institute for Religious Research, 1992), pp. 182-83]'"


Larson references an additional source that lends credence to Ferguson's description of Brown's expressed reservations about Smith's professed ability to translate ancient Egyptian and about the Book of Abraham as a supposedly divinely-translated work. It came in the form of an interview conducted with Ferguson by LDS Church Historical Department employee Ronald O. Barney on 4 January 1983.

Barney's account of his interview with Ferguson reads as follows:

“Ferguson said the thing that first led him to seriously question the [Mormon] church was the papyri purported to be the source of the Book of Abraham. He said he took he took a photograph of the papyri to a couple of friends of his that were scholars at Cal., Berkeley. They described the documents as funeral texts. This bothered Ferguson in a serious way!

"Later he said that he took the evidence to Hugh B. Brown. . . . After reviewing the evidence with Brother Brown he [Ferguson] said that Brother Brown agreed with him that it was not scripture. He did not say or infer [imply] that it was his evidence that convinced Brother Brown of this conclusion. But nevertheless, he did say that Hugh B. Brown did not believe the Book of Abraham was what the [Mormon] church said it was.”

(Barney's interview was typed 19 April 1984 and is located in Box 77, Fd 13, Marquardt Collection, University of Utah)


Larson then notes that the door to closer examination of Ferguson's assertions has been slammed shut by the Mormon Church:

“Brown's harsh indictment [as expressed to Ferguson] of the official position of the LDS Church--that the Book of Abraham is not 'what the church said it was'--cannot be either confirmed or disproved by the Hugh B. Brown papers in the LDS Church archives, because they are closed to researchers."

Larson does mention, however, the release of a carefully-worded and selectively-edited non-denial denial made by Brown regarding his (Brown's) conversation with Ferguson:

“The following is the only available paragraph of a photocopy of a letter purportedly dictated by Brown and sent to Robert Hancock:

"'I do not recall ever having said anything to Mr. Ferguson which would have led him to think I do not believe the Book of Mormon to be true. This is certainly not the case, for I know, even as I live, that Christ is directing this Church and that Joseph Smith was His prophet chosen to restore His Church in its fullness.'

"([Hugh B. Brown], letter to [Robert Hancock], [partial photocopy], 26 September 1974, in Box 77, Fd 13, Marquardt Collection, University of Utah)


Larson points out what is noticeably missing from Brown's partially-released correspondence:

“It should be noted that Brown did not address the central question of whether he and Ferguson discussed Joseph Smith's inability to translate Egyptian hieroglyphics.”

Larson further notes that “[d]uring this meeting [with Brown], Ferguson 'seemed to be absolutely convinced that [Hugh B.] Brown did not believe the Book of Abraham,' that is to say, did not believe that the Book of Abraham was a translation from Egyptian. Since it is assumed that Brown believed that it was inspired scripture, this seems to indicate that Brown held a non-historical, 'mythic interpretation' of the Book of Abraham,” as suggested by Edgar C. Snow, Jr., in his article, “One Face of the Hero: In Search of the Mythological Joseph Smith.”

(Stan Larson, “Quest for the Gold Plates: Thomas Stuart Ferguson's Archaeological Search for the Book of Mormon" [Salt Lake City, Utah: Freethinker Press, in association with Smith Research Associates, 1996, pp. 132, 138-39, 165fn12, 166fn14, 166fn15 and fn16, 212]; see also, Edgar C. Snow, "One Face of the Hero: In Search of the Mythological Joseph Smith, in “Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought” 27, Fall 1994, p. 247n39).


To summarize:

Ferguson reported that Hugh B. Brown personally told him in a meeting with Brown in Salt Lake City, Utah, that:

--Brown did not believe Joseph Smith could translate ancient Egyptian; and

--Brown did not believe that the Book of Abraham was what the Mormon Church claimed it was.

Larson reports that:

--Ferguson's account of meeting with a confessing Brown was backed by an employee of the LDS Church' Historical Department who interviewd Ferguson about the meeting;

--Brown acknowledged having met with Ferguson but insisted in a partially-released letter that he did not recall making any such assertion about the Book of Abraham to Ferguson; and

--the Mormon Church has refused to allow researcher access to Brown's papers in order to further investigate Ferguson's version of events.
_____


And thus, we close the book on the Book of Abrasham.



Edited 29 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 10:49PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: February 27, 2013 11:44PM

So seriously, their answers weren't any better than you get at any elders quorum meeting?

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 12:42AM


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 02:13PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: nickname ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 03:56AM

This is one thing that has become painfully obvious since leaving Mormonism. There is nothing special about the big 15! The "special" witnesses of Christ don't have any special insight or information. There's no revelation, no prophecy, no heavenly visitation, nothing! They're just as clueless as the members they lead. They do nothing but rehash the same tired, old points of doctrine, just like a worn out sunday school teacher!

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Posted by: Fetal Deity ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 01:20AM

To get to the level of GA, I'm pretty sure you've got to have industrial-type reinforcement on your "shelf" and extra-spacious "compartments" in your brain.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 01:21AM by Fetal Deity.

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 01:51AM

steve benson Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Maxwell had highlighted in yellow the following
> excerpt from Rhodes' article (broken out below in
> paragraphs for easier reading):

[snip]

> "Moreover, the Egyptian characters in the
> left-hand margin were clearly written in after the
> English text had been written. These cannot be the
> working papers of a translation process. Instead,
> Phelps and Parrish seemed to have copied down the
> text of the ook of Abraham and were then
> attempting to correlate that translation with some
> of the scrolls in the Church's possession.

This is B.S. They say this because, according to them,

(1) The glyphs in the margin are in a different color ink.

This is false. The glyphs are drawn which means that more ink
soaked into the paper but it is the same hue as the text. This
can be seen at the Church's own "papers of Joseph Smith"
website. In poor copies the glyphs look darker because of how
they were drawn rather than quickly written but a close look
reveals the same ink.

(2) The glyphs overwrite the words.

This is also false. Again you can see cases where a long
string of glyphs overshoots the margin and cuts into the text
part of the paper and at that point the text is indented more
than usual to accomodate the long string of glyphs.

As usual Mormon "scholars" are seeing ghosts then telling the
faithful that these ghosts are real. I call it "lying."

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Posted by: Jesus Smith ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 10:01AM

For an apostle, who's apparently among the closest persons to god on the whole earth, and who is a former attorney/judge, to say "the jury is still out" on something he is supposed to know with sure knowledge as a witness is revealing. He says the evidence is stacked against him, but that his opinion matters more because of his title. That's all he has. A title. But then even he himself admits his title isn't enough because the jury is out.

He doubts a lot or he even knows it's a fraud, but he's trying to keep from saying anything that will come back to haunt him. He wants an out if even more damning evidence comes down.

If he were truly in touch with god, there'd be no jury left in his mind. He would know with every fiber of his being and have good reasoning too.

Oaks: The jury is still out, but you must keep paying me tithing despite the ambiguity of Joe Smith's prophetic and translation ability.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 10:12AM by Jesus Smith.

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Posted by: dupemor ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 10:23AM

To call them "cluless" exonerates them from the fraud.These are con men playing along with fraud for their own betterment,QED!

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Posted by: iflewover ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 03:07PM

^ THIS ^

They do whatever it takes to extend the con. Evil, greedy bastards ruining lives.

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Posted by: amos2 ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 12:20PM

My belief in Mormonism and god had already collapsed by the time I got to the BoA in that year-long OMG survey of the "issues" that followed.
So, aleady being an unbeliever in the book if only becaus it endorses god and the bible...which I disbelieve...I found it, well, tiresome that so much work had to be done to demonstrate it's a fake Egyptianally.
I already knew it was a fake...let's remember that it's the source of the curse/mark of Cain being black skin, for example. It imports Noahs flood wholesale...arguably the most famous biblical absurdity.
So, I never spent the time reading Larsen. And, it's a shame that real Egyptologists are compelled to refute the utterly preposterous claim that Mormon charlatans make about it...just like real biologists and paleoanthropologists have to put down their tools and waste time refuting bogus religious apologetics.
What sucks about Mormon Egyptologists is that they don't even CARE about Egyptology outside of propping up biblical and Mormon claims...as if all there is to Egypt is it's role in biblical times.
Mormon "scholars" on ancient civilizations affecting Mormon claims insult the real breadth and depth of a genuine interest in the study.
Like the Maya for example. It's a shame that any real Mayan scolar has to even answer the absurdity that there's a bible-Maya connection at all.
It's stupid.
Then, Mormons have the gall to suggest that there's a CONSPIRACY to censor their own "scholars", just like creationists complain they don't get equal time for their baseless theories.
When will charlatanism and quackery go away?

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Posted by: misterzelph ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 02:49PM

I remember D. Michael Quinn talking about his conversations with LeGrand Richards. He said Richards had a substantial shelf.
Steve Benson: thanks for the great info on the BofA. This subject is of particular interest to me because no one (from the wisest TBM to the most faithful TBM) has a good defense for it. My respect for the TSCC would increase dramatically if they would just come clean about the BofA.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 02:51PM by misterzelph.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 03:00PM

--My Hometeacher and That Damn Scam of Abraham--

Back before I left the Mormon Cult, my hometeacher (who came from a famous local LDS family whose ancestors originally helped settle the Mesa, AZ area) warned me that if I didn't stop asking inappropriate questions about the Book of Abraham I'd be excommunicated.

It was becoming pretty clear to me that Joseph Smith had invented the Abraham storyline out of whole cloth, given that the actual papryi from which Smith supposedly "translated" the Book of Abraham had been discovered, returned to Mormon headquarters and were found by professional Egyptologists (not LDS apologists like Hugh Nibley) to be full of childish gobble-dee-gook that had absolutely no relation to the hieroglyphics found on the original parchments that Smith had bought from a traveling salesman back in the day.

And that's what I told my hometeacher, but he would have none of it, sternly lecturing me that I'd get the Mormon boot if I didn't quit being so critical.
_____


--My Hometeacher and the Tall Tales of Paul H. Dunn--

Ironically, for supposedly being such a stalwart defender of the faith, this hometeacher used to keep personal files on phony war hero and make-believe pro ballplayer Paul H. Dunn's fall from grace, which the hometeacher told me proved that Dunn was a fraud.

One of his favorite sources on dynamic Dunn's dumbheaded downfall was an article from "Sunstone" magazine--a publication which Mormon leaders had openly denounced as a hotbed of apostate intellectualism. (In fact, my hometeacher had a large stash of "Sunstones" in his home and took delight in showing me his copy collection).
_____


--My Hometeacher and Raunchy Jokes--

This hometeacher also liked to privately tell off-color jokes and kept a file of those, too. He particularly liked the sexually-suggestive ones.
_____


--My Hometeacher and Billiards--

Although Mormonism's General Authorities had railed against the vices of gambling (including playing pool), my hometeacher lent me $600.00 one Sunday morning (when the banks were closed), after I had come across a great slate billiards table in the want ads but didn't have cash on hand to buy it.

My hometeacher took me into one of his home's side bedrooms, opened a chest of drawers and peeled off six C-notes from a thick, rolled-up wad of bills. I thanked him profusely, bought the table and paid him back the next day.

God bless him. :)
_____


--My Hometeacher and Ethnic Slurs--

My hometeacher was also a racist. He worked as a substitute teacher in the local public schools and was eventually shown the door after students in his classes complained to school officials that he was telling bigoted jokes at their expense.

When I'd see him return home from a day in the classroom and ask him how his substituting efforts went, he'd grump about how he was being mistreated by overly-sensitive superiors and how the offended students didn't know how to laugh at themselves. To make that point, he'd recount some of those "jokes" of his to me.

I warned him that if he didn't quit telling these "quips," he's get fired.

He eventually was.

And I never was excommunicated.

Yet, he read me the riot act over my questioning of the Book of Fabricationham.

Go figure.
_____


--My Hometeacher: The Man, the Myth and the Mormonism--

My hometeacher was yet another example of "devoted" Mormons trapped in a perfection-demanding cult, destined to live the devious double life.

Oh, did I mention that he was a former bishop, too?

What a guy--a flawed human being trying hard to be a good Latter-day Saint.

It was a tough row for him to hoe.

He just couldn't do it--as I suspect many other outwardly-straight arrow Mormons can't, either.

Futilely striving to be an "offically-approved" Mormon is unholy hell.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 03:33PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: misterzelph ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 03:07PM

When I was in the LTM (1976) PH Dunn told us that once he stayed up until 2 in the morning in his hotel room, preaching the gospel to Ted Williams. We ate that s**t up.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 02:54PM

In a now-closed thread, RfM poster "Fetal Deity" offers a brutal assessment of the Book of Abraham under the subject line, "'The Church does not stand or fall on the Book of Abraham,' claims a top Mormon apologist," with a link provided to those claims:

http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/57738/The-Book-of-Abraham-The-larger-issue.html


"Fetal Deity" comments bluntly:

"This statement is utterly indefensible: the Mormon church is a 'house of cards.' If the church were to admit that the Book of Abraham had 'fallen,' it would be an admission that Joseph Smith were a false prophet--and there goes the entire Restoration! (How can he NOT see the problem with his assertion?)

"Dr. John Gee (Egyptologist at Brigham Young University) also stated:

"'The Book of Abraham is not central to the restored gospel of Christ.'

"To illustrate, he said that of all the scriptural citations in general conference since 1942, the Book of Abraham has been cited less than 1 percent of the time."

"What Dr. Gee apparently failed to mention is that the Book of Abraham contains exactly TWELVE pages of text, while the entire standard works of the Mormon church total just under 2,500 pages of text.

"So, the Book of Abraham comprises less than ONE-HALF of one percent of the total page count in Mormon scripture; it would appear then, that General Authorities since 1942 have given as much or MORE weight to the Book of Abraham as to the rest of the Mormon canon.

"And here are a couple of BOLDLY CONFIDENT (sarcasm alert) assertions made by Gee:

"'I think [the Book of Abraham] can be defended.'

"And:

"'[T]hough God knows everything,' we do not and cannot . . . .'

"So this is the state of Mormon apologetics? I guess you kind of have to feel sorry for the guy! But, really, WOW!--just WOW!

"Also, see 'The Priceless fraud of the Book of Abraham,' by JoD3:360 at: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,113465,113465#msg-113465 "

("'The Church does not stand or fall on the Book of Abraham,' claims a top Mormon apologist," posted byFetal Deity, "Recovery from Mormonism" bulletin board, 17 February 2011, 5:46 p.m., original emphasis, at: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,116579,116579#msg-116579)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2013 02:54PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: Mr. Neutron ( )
Date: February 28, 2013 04:14PM

The Book of Abraham is indeed the church's Achilles Heel. Since we have it, we've seen it, it has been documented, and Egyptologists have been allowed to see and document it, then there is simply no defense for it.

It is what it is: and ancient funerary text. Joseph Smith was what he was: a fraud. Occam's Razor applies, and the rest collapses thereafter.

How grateful we should all be for ancient Egyptians taking the time and effort to carefully preserve their culture.

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Posted by: watto ( )
Date: March 08, 2013 07:06AM

Interesting that after David O'McKay died, Elder Brown was not recalled as a member of the First President by JFS. It was the first time in the twentieth century that a surviving member of the previous First Presidency was not called to the new presidency. (wiki)

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 08, 2013 01:58PM


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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: May 25, 2014 11:59PM


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Posted by: ^ ( )
Date: May 25, 2014 11:26PM


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Posted by: Templar ( )
Date: May 27, 2014 10:04AM

The Book of Abraham fraud is what did it for me.

I had already acquired and read Tanner's reprint of the 1912 Egyptologist's criticisms of the BoA before the existence of the papyri was known publicly. Among other things, the Egyptologists asserted that facsimile # 1 was wrong in that the knife should not be there, Smith's priest (Anubis) should not have a human head, and Smith's bird should not have a bird's head.

When photos of facsimile #1 were published, I noted that the portions containing the three "mistakes" were ALL MISSING. It appeared that those parts had been broken off and the incorrect items had then been drawn in on the mounting. It was immediately and perfectly clear to me that Smith faked the whole thing and nothing I have read since has changed my initial conclusion. Oaks is a pompous fool not capable of critical thinking. His remarks to you further prove it.

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Posted by: Ex Aedibus ( )
Date: August 21, 2014 11:09PM


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Posted by: Son of Abraham ( )
Date: August 22, 2014 12:27AM

I recently took a course out of Emory on the bible. The consensus now is that Abraham is likely just a legend. There is no record of him in Egypt -- nothing.

I guess that makes the whole translation look even more ridiculous.

"Absolutely blank," was his immediate reply when I asked what the Egyptian historical sources say about Abraham. "As far as the Egyptians are concerned," he said, "it's as if Abraham never set foot in the delta."

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/print/features/world/asia/israel/abraham-text

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Posted by: perky ( )
Date: August 22, 2014 06:42PM

If Steve Benson has not been on Mormon Stories he should be. J Dehlin could do several episodes. The one above would be fantastic.

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